I'm useless to Thunderclan.
I'm useless to myself.
I'm useless to the world.
I'm useless to life.
Hawkpaw gazed at the fish in the river. It was a school of tiny fish. Hawkpaw swatted at a few. They ignored him.
Suddenly a bigger fish came. The school of fish instantly disassembled, each fleeing.
A couple got eaten. One got it's tail snagged on a rock. It bled. Hawkpaw watched carefully as the fish struggled to escape the big fish as the big fish went to eat him too.
A thought came to Hawkpaw. Does dying hurt?
Maybe he would find out.
Maybe he wouldn't.
But he knew... He wanted to know.
The only way...
Kill himself.
ThunderClan just showed him that he was worthless. He didn't really have friends. No one cared. He should just end it now.
He took a step in the water. He didn't know how to swim. He would drown.
Perfect.
He took more steps until the water went to his shoulders. Then he heard the sound of paws on sand.
"Hawkpaw! Hawkpaw!" It was Hulkpaw, running, sounding frantic.
"ShadowClan is attacking the camp! We need help!"
Hawkpaw ran out of the water. Might as well do something that's acually worth doing before he died...
Before he left the river, he marked an X.
Hawkpaw leaped on a cat, sinking his teeth into the neck.
"ROAR!" he yowled as he sent the cat fleeing into the underbush. He yelped as he felt claws dig at his side. Turning, eyes full of fury, he attacked the big tom full force. The cat sped off quickly.
When the fighting was over, Hawkpaw was breathless. Suddenly he dashed towards the river; might as well do it when he was weak. It would go faster.
He could hardly breathe as he stepped into the cold, rapid water. His whiskers dripped and his fur was pressed against his body. He felt a shiver go up his spine. The water pulled him along the river bed.
He was shoulder deep now. He pulled his head under, and waited.
"HAWKPAW!"