Thanks to my Beta!
- flashback -
This scene takes place about a week after chapter two´s flashback, with the gang back from the Albanian job for Church and Billy still at the hospital.
- The lodge. Amber/Barney -
„Can´t you sleep ?"
He looked up to her. She was only scantily dressed but carried a blanket over her arm. He padded the place right next to him on the old wooden bench with his palm and she followed the invitation.
To his surprise, she curled up right next to him instead of simply sitting down. She made herself as comfortable as possible and he put an arm around her, realizing that it felt only natural to do so.
„I´ve been thinking", he said after another while.
„About what ?"
„About you."
She fumbled to manage to cover herself completely with the too small blanket.
„About me ? Or about you and me?"
„´bout the latter, I guess."
„So?" she asked when he didn´t go on.
After a long pause, he sighed.
„See, I have a dangerous job."
„You don´t tell", she whispered. Though he had never really told her the details, she had seen enough scars, bruises and fresh injuries by now to get an idea of how dangerous this job actually was.
He scowled at her in the darkness, only to forgive her her sarcasm the same moment.
„I´m often away for weeks."
She shrugged.
„I´m here."
He made a small sound of frustration, his hand buried in her hair.
„So?" she asked again.
She suddenly brought herself up to a half sitting position. The blanket slipped from her shoulders.
„Say, are you trying to break up with me?"
He held her gaze and she finally perched one eyebrow.
„Would you stop making this so hard for me?" he asked abruptly.
She sat up completely.
„Not if the answer to my question is yes."
„Look, I just don´t want to see you gettin´ hurt."
„Well, don´t do it then!"
„Oh girl!" Barney moved uncomfortably. „Look, what if something happens while I´m abroad?"
„You fear you´ll probably not be around when I´d need you the most ?"
„Yeah, somethin´ like that."
„You know, be there for me when you´re here. That´s good enough for me."
„I simply think you could do better."
„Oh", she drawled. „See, I´m doing fine right now."
Barney got up, agitated.
„Really ? I mean, come on! How long has this been goin´ on?"
„How long?!" he insisted when she didn´t answer.
„About ten months", she mumbled, at least referring to seeing him regularly.
He nodded. „See?"
„See what?"
„What´s my last name?"
She stared at him, slowly getting the hang of what he was talking about. She had no idea.
„You could tell me", she suggested hoarsely, realizing herself how odd that sounded.
Then she broke eye contact with him, her gaze hovering while she fought hard to hold back the tears.
„I mean, is it really what you´re looking for?" he asked, making a gesture that involved the whole thing, the place, the night.
There was a pause. For the first time ever, the silence between them felt uncomfortable.
„You know", she said then, "it probably is what I´ve been looking for."
„You´re serious?" he asked, stunned by her last statement.
She locked eyes with him again.
„Or it has been until last week. You know what both my marriages have been like. I´ve been betrayed, my trust has been betrayed. And it hurt, it hurt badly. I hurt. If you had asked me what I am looking for when we met the first time, I would have told you something completely different, granted! But you know, things are good between us, or it´s at least what I want to believe! We meet, we have a good time. We´ve been keeping things light and easy. And by not knowing much, I pretended to keep a safe distance. One I made myself believe would make it hurt less if it should fail ´cause I never ever wanted to go through shit like that again! But last week, things changed, didn´t they ? And I fear that if this becomes more serious, I´ll simply run."
„And I think that makes two of us", she added.
„If this is not what you´re looking for, I´ll understand", she said then, aware of the fact that she couldn´t force him to want it. „But if I am right...
Barney frowned. If he was honest with himself, he had to admit that he had realized already months ago that she probably was one of those fabled women who left only two options to a man - leaving them or marrying them.
„Are you callin´ me coward?" he asked, crossing his arms as well.
She did the same, imitating his posture, signaling her readiness to defend her position.
„Only if you run."
He frowned.
Then she got up and walked over to him. She covered her attack with a deep kiss.
„What the hell you think you´re doing?" he asked.
She looked up to him, amber colored eyes meeting dark brown ones.
„You didn´t answer my question", she answered. „And in case your answer is yes, I´m going to make you fail."
XXX
Some hours later, she let her shoulder rest against the frame of the lodge´s entrance door, pulling her cardigan tighter around her.
„So you´re gonna stop by again when you´re around ?" she asked.
„Why should I want that ?" he asked sardonically, winking at her. They had agreed that he would call her and by now, Barney was rather sure that he couldn´t have broken up with her even if he had really wanted it.
„Oh..." She shrugged. „I´m a good cook, you know."
He stopped in his tracks, turning to her. Looking at her, he put one hand to his waist.
„Really ?"
The question had been asked challengingly.
She lifted her eyebrows and tilted her head playfully.
„But that´s maybe not what a city slicker like you is looking for", she added.
He slowly returned to her, grinning.
„Why don´t you stop by at my place the next time ?" he asked.
She threw him a questioning look, waiting for him to go on.
„Well, Mister Ross, why the hell should I want that?" she asked.
„Maybe I am going to take the country lass out in the big city", he suggested.
He forced her into a breathtaking kiss.
„And I´m a good kisser, you know", he told her.
- The last thing can be learned by watching Demolition Man again -
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