I groggily opened my eyes, seeing the sunlight filtering lightly through my open curtains. I glanced at the watch on my wrist, it was only 5:15am. I stretched my arms and legs, feeling a satisfying crack in my shoulder. As I rolled over I felt something poke into my chest, reaching down I lifted up the gold frame and it all came crashing back down.

She was gone, My Roza was gone.

My chest tightened but I held back the tears and the ache dulled slightly.

I sat up on the bed and glanced around at the room. I had thoroughly messed it up last night, running a hand through my hair I glanced at the duffle bag I had left in the middle of the floor, which reminded me of her diary that I had tucked inside on the plane.

I carefully pulled it out and as I settled back onto the bed I flipped it open to another page.

06-05-2013

I went to a "ball" with Lissa today, not as her guardian but as her guest. It was just an excuse for the royals to dress up and get together. Not really something I was interested in attending but Lissa convinced me that it would be worth it, and she said there would be alcohol and since Im off duty I could have all the fun I wanted.
I still didnt drink. When it comes to Lissas safety I refuse to ever be completely off duty, but I still went just to make her happy. It was a little more fun than I thought, Adrian was there and he kept me company while Liss was off schmoozing the other royals.

I know he still likes me... well more than likes... But I just cant return the feelings. Sure hes hott, and funny, and he would make an amazing boyfriend... If he had asked me a year ago then maybe I would have given him a chance... but now... whenever he looks at me ,whenever he touches me all I can think is 'Its not him.' Theres no flutter in my stomach when we lock eyes, theres no tingle when we accidently brush against eachother... hes just not Dimitri...

My heart clenched. I had no idea she felt like that, I believed she would move on, she was young and gorgeous, she could have anyone she wanted anyone she desired... but all she wanted was me. And I blew it. I destroyed her happiness, she was broken without me and I had caused it.

I decided to read another entry before getting up and showering so I flicked through and randomly picked another page.

29-08-2013

Well, Lissa is officially Queen. Tatiana stood down and passed the crown on to her. Lissa was so nervous before the ceremony that she almost passed out. I had to shake her and make her take calm deep breaths before going onto the stage... I know she will be an amazing queen, Ive always known she had the potential. Shes compassionate, loving, loyal and she knows whats right. I just hope everyone else believes that.

I also know that now my job is going to get alot harder, not only am I the last Dragomirs Guardian, but I am the Queens guardian now. Ill just have to keep on my toes and never get distracted.

Speaking of distractions... I heard Christian talking about going to visit his Aunt, something about not seeing her for so long. I think he noticed the slightly upset look on my face because he trailed off and closed his mouth without even finishing his sentence. I was going to question him on it since Im pretty sure he doesnt know about Dimitri and I but I didnt know how to phrase it.

Maybe next time Ill just corner him and threaten it out of him. Yeah I could definitely do that...

I couldnt help the smile that tugged at my lips, I could totally see her holding Christian against a wall and threatening any information out of him. Of course she wouldnt actually hurt him but still...

I almost choked on the sob that hit me as I realised she couldnt do that anymore, she wouldnt be her usual sarcastic, happy self because... she was strigoi. They werent sarcastic, they werent funny... they were evil, deadly and uncaring... and now Rose was one of them.

I put the book carefully under my pillow and grabbed some clean clothes. I knew it was too early for Tasha to be up so I walked out to the bathroom and showered and changed.

I wasnt really in the mood yet to face Tasha after yesterday so I put my shoes on and headed out for a run.

The cool morning air was soothing against my skin, the sun was just peaking over the mountain on the horizon. Its orange and red rays flaming along the ground, lighting up the small forest of trees bordering the small town and casting light shadows against the buildings.

I ran until my feet hurt, making it all the way about the boundary of the town, a good 3 hours worth of running before I stopped at the letterbox at the path that led to the house.

I almost didnt bother checking the box because I knew we dont get out mail delivered until later in the afternoon, but as I glanced at the box I noticed a small brown envelope placed in the bottom tray. I raised an eyebrow but pulled the letter out and flipped it over.

It had a Russian stamp on it. At first I just thought it was one of my sisters or my mama but as I looked at the messily scrawled 'Dimitri Belikov' and address I didnt recognise the writing at first... But something was familiar about it.

I made my way inside and drew in a deep breath as I closed the front door and heard rustling in the kitchen. That meant Tasha was up, no way of avoiding her now...

"Dimka? Is that you?"

well Im the only other person with a key to the house... "Yes, its me, just went for a run." I replied, making my way into the kitchen. She turned as I entered and sent me a smile as she studied my face, obviously looking for signs that I was still as distraught as last night. I just reached for a cup and poured myself a coffe, returning her smile.

"Do you have a class today?" I asked, trying to sound as normal as possible.

"Yeah, just one class at nine, you dont need to come though. Just stay here and relax, have a day off, You've earned it." She said smiling widely before bringing a cup to her lips and drinking the remainder of her coffee.

I nodded once in thanks before turning and taking my coffee with me to my room.

I sat down at the desk against the window and pulled the letter out of my pocket, I noticed it had something chunky inside it. Flipping it over I tore it open and pulled out the crisp white piece of paper along with a long golden chain and pendant... My eyes widdened as I looked at the necklace...

It was the gold rose necklace... just like the one Rose wore with the lust charm on it!

I opened the letter and took a deep,calming breath before reading it.

Dimitri,

Comrade.

Its been far too long hasnt it? What is it now.. 2 years? Well I just thought I would let you know that things have changed with me, things are better. Im better.

Faster, stronger, tougher, less distractions just like you always wanted. Though my priorities have shifted now, after recent... events.

I no longer wish to protect Lissa, I actually couldnt care less what happens to her, Im finally living my life for me... and I plan on having you join me.

I miss you Comrade, I need you beside me. Together we could take on the world.

Ill see you soon.
I Promise.

Xo Youre Roza oX

I stared at the page, almost unwilling to register what it was telling me.
It really was true then, Rose was strigoi, she was one of them... and she was coming after me...