Funnies of D Gray Man

by dgraymanobsessed

These are scenarios that I originally put into my intros of stories, but there are so many I can think of and not enough chapters to write them all. Plus, it would sort of kill the mood of my stories if it was interrupted by Kanda chasing Lavi around the dining hall because he called him Yuu, again.

4. Chapter 4

Hello again. I am down the beach, but I got the wifi code so I can make the next chapter! I know you're probably expecting me to say something about another show I'm watching, but not today. Actually, I have started watching fruits basket. I LOVE KYO. Okay, I'm done rambling on about another show. Here you go. I don't own Dunkin' Donuts or D. Gray Man for that matter.

Lavi: I have always wondered something.

Me: What?

Lavi: I wonder what bacon flavored soap would taste like.

Me: *facepalm* wouldn't it taste like-

Lavi: No, I'm gonna figure this out on my own.

Me: Okay, you tell me when you figure it out.

Lavi: *runs up 20 minutes later while Sara is eating* It tastes like Bacon!

Me: *looks down at watch* hmm, that was quick.

Lavi: What was?

Me: O god, out of all of the people in D. Gray Man why did I have to fall in love with you?

Lavi: Because I'm awesome! *grins and fist pumps into air*

Me: Why do I fall in love with idiots.

Lavi: I heard that!

Me: You were supposed to.

Lavi: *crosses arms and walks away*

Allen: You lost! Go do it! *hides behind corner*

Me: *looks into dining hall* I must've had a really off day to lose to you in cards.

Allen: Yeah, that is true, I don't think I've ever won to you before. Oh well. Go on.

Me: *runs up to Kanda and slams his face into his soba* *runs for life as Kanda draws Mugen*

Allen: *watches Sara run past then Ninja style scale wall and kick Kanda in the head*

Kanda: Really? Who put you up to a fight this time?

Me: Allen did, I lost to him in cards.

Kanda: *scowlish surprised Kanda face* You must be off today to lose to Moyashi.

Allen: *comes out from behind protective bomb squad* MY NAME IS ALLEN! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY IT!

Kanda: *throws Mugen off to the side catching Allen by the hair and pinning him to a wall*

Komui:*randomly walks by with bunny coffee mug and glances up* Kanda, Sara, if you destroy the main structure again you have to fix it yourselves…..together.

Me: I feel the sudden urge not to have a fist fight with you.

Kanda: Che, build it yourself.

Me: Why don't you smile? *runs up to Kanda and puts his mouth in a smile*

Kanda:*throws Sara across room* Next time you do that I will kill you.

Me: *stupidly tries to do the same thing*

Kanda: Do you really want to die?

Me: Does Yuu?

Kanda: *clenches fists* Tch. SHUT THE FUCK UP. *walks away*

Me: Way to be overdramatic.

Kanda: *in the distance* I CAN STILL FUCKING HEAR YOU.

Lavi: *randomly comes in* If you want I have some bacon flavored soap to wash out his potty mouth.

Me: *putting Lavi up for execution* Sure, go ahead.

Allen: DOUGHNUTS *looking blankly at a Dunkin' Donuts commercial*

Lavi: COFFEE *looking at same commercial*

Me: *smacks both with newspaper* NO, Allen sweets are really bad for you and Lavi, ABSOLUTELY NO COFFEE FOR YOU.

Lavi: *pouty face* PWEASE.

Me: NO. Would you like me to give you the really digusting medicine that Komui said only to use for emergencies?

Lavi: …..no.

Me: Good. Go get hit on the head by Bookman or something.

Lavi: Why do you always think I get hit on the head by Bookman?

Bookman: *walks in* Child shut you face *hits him with a book and then kicks him across room*

Me: *I stare at Lavi with the I told you so glare*

Allen: DOUGHNUTS!

Me: Really, still hung up on the doughnuts? Hey I have an idea….KANDA!

Kanda: Moyashi.

Allen: I'M NOT THAT SHORT!

Me: *duct tapes doughnut to ceiling* If you're not short than get the doughnut.

Allen: Doughnutttttt.

Kanda: What the-

Me: I don't need you anymore, go away.

Kanda: Che, fine.

Allen: *can't reach doughnut* Really?

Lavi: *walks up and snatches doughnut and stuffs in mouth* Ha.

Allen: *Evil Allen* You…..ate…..doughnut…you….die. *chases Lavi around*

Well, I couldn't really think of anything to write, so I'm sorry if this chapter isn't very funny. It' like after midnight and I have been at the beach all day chasing my little cousins around who have more energy than Lavi does sometimes. But, I'm really tired so this probably wasn't as funny. I will make the next one when I'm fully awake and rested, perhaps even caffeinated(hopefully). Review and you may have a doughnut before Allen can.