A/N- Okay everyone, Thank You to my reviewers, that really meant a lot :) Herongray, brokenwings and geeRose23!
"Will? Is that you Will?", Jem ceased to play his violin when the door to his room opened. Frosty, midnight air flew in through his open window, sending the thin, white curtains swaying. Will stepped inside Jem's room looking disheveled. He regarded Will's windblown hair, his open coat hanging off one shoulder, the white, button up shirt underneath disarrayed, the hems of his trouser leg had been worn out from walking on it too long, and his cheeks were pink and pinched by the cold. But what struck his most wasn't his clothes, it was his expression and stance. He was still stading the doorway, shoulders hunched, head down, chin almost touching his chest. His eyes were closed and he was breathing shallowly, pain etched in every line on his familiar face. The superior smirk and knowing look were missing.
Jem took Will's cold hand and brought him down to sit on the bed, the tall, dark haired boy fell on the bed as if his body weighed a ton. "Will, what is it? What's wrong?", Jem asked, hearing the panic in his own voice.
"Jem, I-", he looked as if he wanted to say something but just couldn't, it pained Jem greatly to see his dear friend in such a state.
"Go on Will, it's okay"
"No, Jem, it's not, n-nothing's okay, I-I've m-messed everything u-up", Will sounded and looked close to tears, Jem couldn't take it anymore, he hadn't seen Will this distraught since he first arrived at the Institute, just a lost little boy. Now his wide, muscular shoulders shook, his full, bottom lip quivered and his eyelashes were wet.
"Will, look at me, look at me Will", Jem held his hand under his parabatai's chin, forcing him to look up. Will's blue eyes caught Jem's silver ones, before he crumpled and dissolved into tears. Jem let him lean on his shoulder, while holding and attempting to console him, but there was no consoling his friend. He gently moved back and lay Will down on the bed. Jem moved to close the door, then took Will's shoes and coat off. He knelt by the bed until his friend's sobs quieted down, but the tears still hadn't stopped. His cheeks were still very red, his forhead extremely hot and sweating, despite the cool crisp in the air. Jem began to get worried for his feverish friend when he started to moan and toss and turn on the bed, crumpling the sheets.
"I'll be right back Will, stay put",
"No, Jem, please don't go, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry", Jem couldn't stand it, he couldn't watch Will in so much pain,
"Will, it's okay, don't apologize you didn't do anything",
"No, but I did, please Jem you have to forgive me, I didn't know",
"Didn't know what Will?", Jem whispered close to Will's ear, trying to keep his head over the groans,
"It's hot Jem, it's too hot, too hot, please Jem", Will's voice was getting louder and his kicks more forceful,
"Okay, Will, calm down it's okay, lets get these heavy clothes off you", Jem took Will's jeans off, leaving him in nothing but blue boxers and a white undershirt.
Will was becoming more agitated by the minute, saying completely random things that made no sense. Jem opened the window further to let more air into the bedroom then took off running down the Insitute's corridors towards the kichen. Once there, Jem filled a metal bucket and a big flask with water, then, being careful not to spill any of the water, ran to the washroom to get a cloth. He began to pant on his way back to his bedroom, finding himself short of breath, but he couldn't worry about that now. Jem burst through his bedroom door to find Will, still on the bed, with his eyes shut tight, shaking his head from side to side, mumbling nonsense. He set the bucket on the floor next to his bed, which was now damp with Will's sweat. He pressed the flask to Will's mouth, forcing him to drink, Will it gratefully, but spluttered and coughed while swallowing it.
"It wasn't real, it was all for nothing", Will kept repeating this over and over in his feverish state. Jem dipped the cloth into the bucket filled with water and lay it on his head. He found himself becoming shorter and shorter for breath, and when he coughed into his sleeve, found blood. Oh no, not now, please not now, Jem was getting dizzier and dizzier, to the point where he couldn't stand, his coughing becoming thicker. Through the haze, he saw pale, clammy, shaking hands holding his silver, embellished box containing his drg, yin fen. With not enough time to let the drug dissolve in water, he opened the box, took a pinch of the silver, ash-like substance and put it in his mouth in between fits of coughing. He was lying on his back on the floor when the coughing subsided. Jem raised himself on his knees to look at his best friend. His cheeks were still red, his forhead still sweaty, but he seemed to be asleep now. He used the cloth to wipe at Will's face, removing the dried tears, then dipped it back in the bucket and wrung it out to place it softly on his head again.
He tiredly made his way to the armchair that sat in the corner of his room, and slumped down into it's soft material. Jem couldn't believe that with a fever as high as his, Will had realised that Jem was getting sick. He had somehow found his way through his severe fever to notice his parabatai needed help. As much as Jem wanted to deny it, this is how it would always be between them, no matter the circumstances, Will would always be the one looking after Jem, and never the other way around.
It was her wedding day. An unsually nice day for London. Tessa stood outside the Church's heavy, wooden doors by herself, attempting to slow her heartbeat. This was it, the day she'd been waiting for. Inside would be everyone she loved, waiting for her, including her very-soon-to-be husband. Looking down at herself, she saw the beautiful golden gown, as per Shadowhunter custom. The neckline was round and just about covered her collarbones, the short, puffy sleeves made of a see-through, shimmering golden material made her small, slim shoulders look stronger. The dress itself was floor lenght, there were no heavy skirts or corsets, just the flowing, weightless, beautiful layer hugging her in all the right places. It was golden and sparkling, she looked beautiful, she had to admit. It made her look like a lovely angel, as if wings would sprout from her back at any moment. She'd left her hair down, with no veil, but placed diamontes scattered over it, making it look as if her hair was made of diamonds. As she stood, holding flowers close to her heart, the doors opened, and there stood Sophie and Cecil, obviosly having opened the doors, gesturing with one outstreched arm each, to the altar. Not being able to bring herself to look up, she began to walk down the flower covered, white carpet, sensing people all around her. She kept her head up and chin held high, but her eyes looking down, her eyelashes bushing her cheeks. She felt weightless, as if she were floating down the aisle, rather than walking in high heels. Tessa made it to the altar, taking a deep breath. Slowly, she looked up. Wearing a trim, white suit, was her soul mate, the love of her life, Will.
Tessa awoke quickly and opened her eyes, startled. Once again, Will had made his appearance in her dreams. She had no feelings for Will, or so she continued to tell herself. I love Jem, I love Jem, she chanted this in her head as she stood up and walked out her door, not bothering to change from her long nightgown. She checked to see if the corridors were clear of any people, then walked to Jem's bedroom door. I love Jem, I love Jem, without so much as a knock, she turned the doorknob and stepped inside. There, on Jem's bed, was Will. He was lying on his side in his undershirt and boxers, a visibly damp cloth inches from his head on the pillow. Next to him, lay Jem in his flanelette pyjamas, in the exact same position as Will. Both boys were lying on their sides with one hand under their heads and the other on their hips, their legs brought up nearly touching their chests. The white sheets which had obviously previously been on the bed, were not on the floor. Looking at the floor, Tessa also noticed a metal bucket filled with water and Jem's silver box containing his yin fen, opened, lid askew. She looked back up the two boys, lying together like two young brothers, completely different, but yet the exact same. She walked to Jem's side of the bed and knelt next to him, she didn't care how improper it was, she knew something was wrong. Brushing his hair back from his forhead she whispered into his ear.
"Jem, Jem sweetheart wake up", Jem stretched and opened his eyes slowly, turning his body around to look at her.
"My, what a wonderful way to wake up, to gaze upon your lovely face, I must be the luckiest man in the world", Tessa felt her insides clench, this was what she'd always dreamed a boy would say to her. Just like in her novels, the man would be the main character, but never without a woman behind him, and she'd always wanted to be that woman.
"Good morning Jem, is everything okay?", Jem's eyes opened wider and he jerked into a sitting position, looking next to him, at Will.
"Will! Are you okay? Tessa, Will was very sick last night", Jem had a hand on Will's forhead, presumably checking his temperature, and one hand on his shoulder, lightly shaking him, while still sitting on the bed. Tessa, looking at Will, would have guessed he was sick even without Jem's statement. His face looked thin and pale, all except his cheeks which were slightly red and his forhead was clammy, hair stuck to his skin. He looked younger than usual, and more vulnerable. Jem shook Will harder, until he awoke with a groan and a stretch.
"Will how do you feel? You were extremely feverish yesterday night", Jem was calmer now that Will had woken up,
"Hmm? Oh, yes I feel much better, although I must admit the only part I remember about last night was coming into your room while you were playing your violin, what happened?", Will's voice was hoarse, and his movements tired as he sat up too.
"Well, I don't really know myself, you came in here looking like you'd been dragged on the back of a carriage, then started acting strange, at wich I realised you had a bad temperature", Will looked at Jem for a while, seemingly lost in thought, then scanned the room. His eyes fell upon the crumpled up sheets on the floor and the bucket full of water, before lifting his gaze and finally noticing Tessa. She'd been standing very quietly and motionlessly through the ordeal. When he saw her, he jumped slightly. Looking into his eyes, Tessa couldn't help but think of when he had told her he loved her. As much as she wanted to, Tessa couldn't break eye contact, and Will looked as if he couldn't either. It could have been seconds or minutes before they broke their gaze, but Jem didn't notice, he'd hopped up and walked to the other side of the bed, to close him silver box and set it carefully on the nightstand. Jem then walked to Tessa, placing a hand on the small of her back, before quickly taking it away. Tessa tore her eyes away from Will's blue ones to look at Jem's silver ones questioningly. Jem's eyes flashed quickly to Will's general direction, and then it clicked. Jem still didn't know that Will knew about their engagement. Looking quickly away, Jem asked,
"Will? Last night you were saying meaningless things, do you remember? You kept saying, it wasn't real, what did you mean?", Will's eyes flashed and he looked down,
"I don't know, I can't remember", he's lying, Tessa knew this, she could taste it in the air, and obviously Jem did too. He continued to look at Will with question written all over his face,
"Yes you do, Will. You were obviously very distressed about it too", Jem said this as he was sitting down next to Will, placing a hand on his friend's arm. Will looked like a child caught doing something he shouldn't have been. His eyes looked between Jem and Tessa a few times, wearing a torn expression. Tessa could imagine the mental debate happening in his head. Then he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Will opened his eyes after a few seconds and looked down at his hands,
"Okay, there's something I've been meaning to tell you, something only Magnus Bane and I know, but I only told him because I needed his help.", taking another few deep breaths, he launched into his story,"when I was young and still living with my parents and sisters, I used to go into my dad's library a lot. One day though, I was looking through his desk drawers when I found one with a false bottom. I opened it, and inside found a box, what I now know to be the Pyxis box. I guess he kept it for Shadwohunter memories, but I didn't know much at all about the Shadowhunter world, so I opened it. Out came a blue demon. It terrified me. The demon said it seeked revenge to my father for being trapped in there for all these years, but it would settle with me. At that moment, my older sister, Ella, ran into te room,", Tessa gasped, for she could see where this was going,"she came in with a stele. She obviously didn't know how to use it properly but she stood between me and the demon nevertheless, brandishing it close to the blue beast. She told his to leave them and not come back, but the demon just laughed at her. She still stood her ground, that's what I loved most about her. She was so fearless and brave. The demon then pointed back at me, it placed a curse on me. That whomever loved me would die, then he pointed at my sister and said 'I'll start with her!', then turned and vanished. That night, the curse took action, for the next morning, my sister was dead. My parents were heartbroken, and I knew I couldn't let anyone else get hurt because of me, and that's how I ended up here. I thought I'd lost everything." Tessa moved to sit on Will's other side and placed a hand on his bare arm, leaving goosebumps behind on his skin, maybe her hands were cold, "I went to Magnus a short while ago because I needed him to summon that demon, so I could get him to lift the curse on me. Tessa, do you remember tha party when I saw that blue demon and went after it?", Will looked at Tessa with something unreadable in his eyes. Oh, she remembered that night. That was the night of her kiss with Will, before Magnus had interrupted, but he was asking if she remembered what happened later that night. Will had seen one the demons that had attended the party and ran after it, she nodded in response to his question, "Well, that was him, I caught up to him and fought with him, but he bit me and ran away, bu not without leaving one of his teeth in my arm. I went to Magnus and asked him to use the tooth to summon the demon, so he did. It turns out that the demon would have been to weak to cast a curse of such magnitude, so he had made it up. The only reason Ella had died was because he had hit her with his tail,", Will looked back down to his hands, "Ever since the demon 'cursed' me, I've been trying to keep everyone away from me, so they wouldn't love me, I was trying to protect them."
Jem immediately began comforting Will. Tessa was speechless. This was why Will was always so nasty, but never seemed to put his whole heart into it, this was why Will had been so cruel to Gideon and Gabriel's sister, this was why Will had acted as if he didn't like her at all, thought of her as something like a prostitute, until that night. Will was protecting them all by keeping distance, except for Jem. Jem is my sin, isn't that what he'd said once? He could let Jem in because he was going to die anyways. This means that Will had loved Tessa since the beginning, he had loved her when she had loved him, but, now that she let herself think about it, Tessa still did love Will.