Hello :P Today is the 28th and me and my TT have now known each other 3 and a half years. I'm so lucky to have her as my best internet friend and best friend in general. I love talking and laughing with her and coming up with ideas like those that have led to this chapter happening :3 I hope you all enjoy the introduction to a little someone I am very fond of already :P
Ages:
Ash: 30
Misty: 30
James: 37
Ben: 10
Katie: 10
James K: 4
Jessika K: 3
Baby Rey: A few months old
Dear Mist,
I don't even know how to begin with expressing my inner thoughts and feelings. I just feel like the world is on my shoulders at the moment. That makes me guilty because I'm the luckiest man alive to be married to you and have beautiful children. I am blessed to have a wonderful life.
But to tell you the truth, I'm finding it hard to see it that way these days. Don't get me wrong, deep down I know I'm blessed but I just hate the way things have turned out the past few months. I sound so ungrateful, let me try and explain.
I am the luckiest man alive to have been able to have our fifth baby together recently. I love you and baby Rey with all my heart but I feel so guilty, Mist. So near to your due date, I was taken over by a dark energy once again and I ran away to prevent any of you getting hurt by me. Nice one, Ash. I thought I was being a hero by running off with all my troubles until I was healed once again. After James text me a picture of my new baby daughter, I knew I wasn't going to hurt any of you again and I came rushing back. It pains me to say that I made things way worse by running off.
My beautiful Mist, soon after giving birth to our new daughter without me at your side, you began to lose consciousness. You told James to look after our new baby before falling into a deep sleep. You couldn't face the world anymore and all because of me. Thank god all our friends and family and especially James were wonderful and laid the baby on your chest. You could feel her warmth and need for mother's love and you knew life was worth living, even if you thought I wasn't around. I was always going to come back but it kills me that you thought you had lost me. It's all my fault.
This is all the past now and together our family is all healing and moving on. I am so impressed and proud of you for settling back into life and motherhood after being asleep for as long as you were.
One person I am deeply worried about is James. It was him who raised and named baby Rey while I was away and you were asleep for weeks. He gave her her first feed, her first nappy change and her first bath. He didn't want us to miss out and so made the Diary of Baby Rey, where every day he filled in every little detail of Rey's day. We are so blessed to have such a kind man in our lives but it was his kindness that has led him to great pain. Of course he became deeply fond of Rey as he was basically her mother and father for the first few weeks. Seeing him give her up was hard enough so I cannot imagine what it has been like for him. I feel so guilty and as if I have personally stolen a baby from him. We all understand that Rey is our child, my dear Mist, but James came through and cared for her and loved her all because you asked.
I feel so upset that I have ruined so many things for the people around us. Ben and Katie aren't so sure about going on their journey anymore after the recent turmoil and are wanting to stay and get to know baby Rey. Katie especially isn't keen and wants to stay and look after her hurting uncle James.
The two younger ones of course found it so hard without you and also have to get used to having another baby around. That is to be expected but I feel so awful that life has suddenly gone in a new direction.
I feel better for expressing my feelings, Mist. I don't know if I will send this to you as I don't want it to bring up pain from the past all over again, especially when you're doing so well.
One thing I do know is that deep down in my belly, I feel tingly with hope. This family and everyone around us has been through so many ups and downs and I know we can get through this. James' nickname for Rey is Rey of Sunshine and I think he's right. She will be our beam of light in these stormy seas.
Lots of love, your always loving husband Ash.
PS: I don't miss you this time. I miss myself and my own happiness. But I know with your help and our wonderful children's help, we can all find ourselves and peace once again.
There you go! Thanks so much for reading and I hope you all enjoyed, especially you, boo :P So now after years of viewing Ash and Misty with four children, baby Rey has been created. I already love her character and she's even closer to my heart because me and AAML-TAML designed her together. I can't wait to develop her character in my stories. I will be adding a little summary of who she is in my bio :P The dark energy Ash talks about is kind of like the power of aura that he possesses but made dark. This whole scenario is based off of what Anakin and Padme go through in Star Wars but the outcome has a much happier ending :3 Anyways I think that is all. I will be back on Wednesday with Pikachu Tales. See you then!
AmyBieberKetchum signing out :P