Jenna was nice. I really liked her. We walked to the courtyard conversing between each other, just small talk but talking was an achievement for me. We said our goodbyes when she spotted her friends. They all gave me weird looks, because they're clearly fucking royalty. I considered saying something to them, however I was interrupted by Pete with a surprise bear hug. He burst out giggling while somehow managing to lift me off my feet. Jesus, he is such a man child. It was kinda funny at first, until he started crushing my ribs. After what felt like an hour, he let me down; I struggled to catch my breath.
Once I finished hacking up my lungs, I noticed Pete had brought someone along with him. They were about the same height as me but extremely skinny. I was quite concerned if they were malnourished. They had gaunt cheeks that complimented their sharp features, and semi long brown hair that was glued to their forehead. They didn't seem like Pete's type much, but Pete would bone anything if he was desperate. I wasn't sure if i'd made a good first impression as their slight squint seemed practically disinterested.
"So..." I tried to spark up a conversation. I wasn't capable of much but blank fillers if I wasn't familiar with someone, but the awkward silence made even me uncomfortable. I scuffed my heels agaisnt each other, trying to take myself out of the situation. Or at least look terrified enough for them to feel sorry for me and ignore me.
"Oh shit, yeah. Tyler, meet Mikey" It was pretty obvious who it was now, I don't know how I hadn't already managed to put a face to the name. Yet again, rough nights love to make themselves blatant.
Mikey didn't speak, instead he looked at me blankly, expecting me to greet him first apparently.
"Hey Mikey, Pete talks about you all the time". I wasn't too keen on meeting Mikey, however I was slightly more comfortable with Pete here. His jackass personality could make me invisible.
Mikey didn't reply, just smirking and glancing at Pete, who's face was a deep crimson shade. Usually he'd try to embarrass me or even do a semi-hard punch on my forearm, but it seemed he didn't to come off as too much of an asshole in front of his 'soulmate'.
I decided to see how much I could manipulate him. "Ow Pete that really hurt" I exaggerated as much as a I possibly could, even feigning a tear. Mikey, as expected, stayed in his usual silent manner, however his eyes creased into a concerned look. Pete must have noticed this and tried to justify himself.
"Oh god. Tyler. Im sorry. I really am, I didn't mean to hurt you, please don't cry" he awkwardly rubbed my arm. There was a hint of desperation in his voice, he must like Mikey a lot more than I thought.
I decided I had embarrassed him enough. "It's okay Pete. It's fine" I pretended to shrug it off. Pete gave a relieved sigh, and Mikey gave his now signature lack of input. Just rolling his eyes and staring at Pete. I tried my hardest to suppress a smirk as Pete silently pleaded to Mikey. I never saw him act so innocent, it wasn't comforting.
Luckily I didn't have to be a thespian any longer as the bell interrupted the pause. Pete shot me a monotone "see you later", I replied with a nod and we parted for the second time that day.
I didnt see much of Jenna or Pete for the rest of the day. Let alone Mikey. Lunch was fairly bland and routine, as usual. The rest of the lessons dragged at the slowest pace possible. I couldn't wait to be out of this building, I felt like I was dying. When I left the building, I was glad to feel another breeze soothe me. I paused, inhaling the slightly polluted air and scanning around at the hundreds of people making their way home also. Each one of them conversing between each other. The centre of their own worlds. Thinking they are the most important. Thinking they'll all be successful in life. Its all bullshit. They're all living pathetic, insignificant lives. They'll always be irrelevant. I would feel bad for them, they're blinded by their imagination. But who feels bad for people who dismiss your existence?
Scraps of Winter were imminent. For example, the recurring breeze that sorta stung after a while slapped me in the face, leaving shades of scarlet tattooed to my cheeks. The trees stood tall, yet embarrassed for their yearly shedding that was about to come. Flaring out the gleaming medals it had earned in the spring, before it would be stripped from all its awards, having to start afresh. I think about that sometimes. Just dropping everything you have to become a completely different person. Dishing out the abuse instead of being dealt the hand. Punching the teacher who always picked on you. Robbing the store that would kick you out in winter for staying in so long without buying anything. Getting the revenge you crave for. The perfect head rush.
I was attempting to cross the road, until a blaring horn rattled through my skull, leaving me unable to comprehend anything. I came to my senses and looked up to see (what appeared to be) an arrogant business bench warmer driving past in a car he could barely afford, feeling superior, trying to hide his emptiness. Unlike the trees, he could waste his time faking it. Not having to be exposed for his lack of experience. That's why I always respect the trees more. Being upfront and honest, supporting everything without asking for much in return. Providing shelter and resource. Trees are the gods we should worship. This is how i passed my time getting home, analysing things a little more than usual. Giving second glances. Its pretty gratifying being less naïve than most people. I guess I'll always be ahead. Spotting the small mistakes every one overlooks. Reading life's fine print, instead of the bold words. The fine print can be overwhelming sometimes, but it's always better to understand than to mindlessly accept.
I got home to my brother whining about his missing Dr Pepper, I tried to look as innocent as possible as i passed through the kitchen. I thought I'd got away when he gave me a dirty glare and a smirk.
"Hey Tyler, heard you were hitting up Jenna, somebody told Josh about it and he's ready to end you" he gave another boastful smirk. He was pretty popular, while I was and always have been an outsider. He didn't have to worry about the jocks, they all liked him.
"First of all- I have no idea who 'Josh' is, secondly, any relationship I have with Jenna, if you can even call it that, is entirely platonic and I intend for nothing more" I told him in the most monotone voice I had ever used, avoiding eye contact with him.
"Well Tyler, I'm not a messenger, you'll have to tell him yourself. You know football players-" he walked towards me and whispered, his warm breath grazing uncomfortably against my skin, making me shudder "they hate losing. Especially to those who are weaker than them." He winked and made his way upstairs smugly with the remaining cans of Dr Pepper. I gulped aloud, standing frozen for a second. What if he wanted to fight me? I'd most certainly get beat up again. Then my mom would call the school and complain until they made them apologise. Only making bullying worse.
I went to bed early that night, skipping dinner. I didn't know who Josh was or what he even looked like. I wasn't even sure if he knew what I looked like. But the whole idea of him beating me up in school was making me sick to my stomach. Everyone would see it, they'd surround me, mocking and laughing, adding an extra weight of pain. The only person who would even care enough to try and stop them was Pete. Although, Pete would be nowhere near capable enough to pry them off. I could pretend I'm sick and skip school. However, I normally do this for mental health days and I've already taken two this semester. My mom would definitely make me go to the doctor, and I couldn't stand the disappointment over the humiliation. I could skip school, Jay does it pretty often and my mom doesn't seem to get mad at him. School would notice and phone my mom though and I don't think I'd have the balls to face her after breaking her high standards. I rarely misbehaved so she had standards a lot higher for me than Jay. He'd get away with a lot more because she knew it was only his future he was ruining. For me though, she'd get extremely worked up and upset whenever I broke the rules, I knew it was only because she didn't want me to head down the same path Jay was going, but it did feel a little unfair.
I grasped my phone and unlocked it, the brightness felt as if it was scolding my retinas. I squinted and looked at the time. 2am presented itself boldly. I sighed, and flopped onto my back. My eyes stung from last night and the charcoal smears drooping underneath proved it. I tried to get as much sleep as I could before school tomorrow. It would be a hell of a long day.
I suddenly awoke to my brother's knocking on my door. I groaned and buried my face in my pillow, trying to ignore him. He continued anyway and it was starting to really piss me off.
"Ugh, Jay, what do you want?" I mumbled through the pillow, surprised that he actually heard me.
"Just wanted to remind you Tyler, have a great day today" I could hear him stifling a laugh behind the door before his heavy footsteps bolted back up the stairs. Mimicking my heartbeat. A lot of the time, guys will never admit they are afraid, they go so far to hide it. But, I'll honestly admit I was terrified to go to school. My hands were violently shaking and my knees buckled when I tried to stand up. I stumbled my way to the bathroom. Throwing up the contents of my mostly empty stomach. I wiped off my mouth on a hand towel and shot back a cap of mouthwash. I couldn't let this take over me. I could just stay in the library all day. If anyone so much as raises their voice in their they get kicked out. Besides, the librarian in there loves me, he won't let anyone mess around with me or they get banned for good.
I tried to settle on something plain and subtle to wear, something casual that would let me blend into the crowd. The best match I could find was a red t shirt and beat up basketball shorts, a good metaphor, protecting myself with something that has already experienced it. I threw up once more, hoping it would clear my head as well as my stomach, and headed out. Pretending to be oblivious to my brother's quizzacious grin.
I stopped outside of school. It grew taller and loomed over me, its shadow cast me into darkness, I took deep breaths. It grew taller every second, standing over me giving me disapproving looks, trying to intimidate me so I turned back and ran. I was always a coward in situations. I always ran. This time I couldn't, I'd come to far to turn back now.
I took deep breaths, trying to shake of the fear latching on to me. I put my head down and diverted straight to the library. Luckily, everyone ignored me and I made it to my destination safely. A few people had given me dodgy looks, but turned back not long after. I sat down in the sparsely populated room. There was only me, the librarian, and two students trying to cram information in last minute for a test. I doubt their brains could remember any of it as soon as they pass through the door. I placed my bag down on an unoccupied seat and placed myself in another. The librarian smiled at me, subliminally telling me good morning and I smiled back. I liked it when people were actually pleasant towards me, I was always in need of congenial company and it was a rare delight when I actually found some. So much so that I couldn't help but treat it as the most fragile bond in existence. I wanted to make a conversation with the librarian, to take my mind off Josh. However, he was meticulously distracted by some paperwork to keep anything bigger than small talk currently, so I settled on searching for a book instead. I fingered through the bookshelves; subconciously drawn to the classics. I settled with Macbeth and made myself comfy for the five minutes remaining before first period. I made it through a few pages before the bell signalled my exit.
I had no trouble with anyone for the next three periods, I had apparently gone undetected. I was less tense then before so I started my journey to the library at a slower pace. That was until I saw a wall of them, the football players, marching in unison towards me. I froze in place, the library was behind them so I couldn't run into there for asylum. I tried to turn and run but there was two more coming from behind. I was forced to watch in horror as they came closer and closer, trapping me in place. They surrounded me, making a barrier that I couldn't escape from. They were all so tall, looming over me, making me retreat to a single space.
"What's your name, fag?"
I hated that word, it stung like a knife in my chest. so much that I struggled to retaliate.
"Jesus Christ, are you retarded? I said what's your name?" I could feel a lump building in my throat, and tears began to emerge from their ducts. I knew what was going to happen next.
"Tyler" I choked out.
"Tyler what? Tyler Faggot?" They all sniggered, making me feel weaker and weaker with every remark and reaction.
"Tyler Joseph" It took all my strength to force out the words from my lungs, my diaphragm was constricting, I was struggling to breathe.
"So you're the guy who thinks he's good enough to hit on Josh's girlfriend, huh?" He came uncomfortably close to me. His revolting breath made me gag; almost throwing up for the third time that day. I tried to back away, but the cage they built prevented me from moving anywhere.
"No" I whimpered, all hope of getting out of this situation uninjured was gone. I closed my eyes, hoping they would just punch me and shove me into a locker and leave it be. But they must have seen the fear from my body language and wanted to taunt me a little longer. The same jock leaned in again, gripping my collar tightly.
"You shouldn't hit on another guy's girl. Especially one of us. Or there will be consequences. And you've gotta learn the consequences, Tyler Joseph" he said my name slowly, mockingly smearing it into my face.
I clamped my eyes shut once more. Why couldn't it just be over? It went silent for a split second, until I felt a powerful blow strike my stomach and knock me to the ground, I winced and recoiled in pain, lying on the floor in a foetal position. The tears that patiently waited now flooded my cheeks as they attempted to soothe the raging pain on my abdomen. It wasn't long until I felt another hit, to my chest this time. Followed by an eruption of laughter. I felt like I was going to black out, the pain was overwhelming, it seared all through my body like a current. I didn't bother holding back the tears, there was no use. I felt the lump in my throat being replacing by thick, copper tasting liquid. I coughed up copious amounts of blood. It oozed from my chin, building up in the back of my mouth.
They must have realised i was starting to choke and picked me up and dragged me into the nearest empty bathroom. They dumped me into an empty stall, I sprawled onto the floor like a rag doll, to weak to get up and get help. I remained there, hacking up the remaining blood before quietly sobbing on the dirty floor. But i wasn't strong to do anything about it. I laid there sobbing to myself for what felt like hours, until I heard someone enter. I wanted to call for help, but then I realised it could be another one of them. So I stayed still, hoping they wouldn't come in through the unlocked stall door. I thought they'd left until I saw the door slightly open, a tall guy in a varsity jacket stood before me. He was fairly muscular and had a shaved brown mohawk. Which he clearly didn't tame, from the looks of the unruly curls protruding from the top.
"Jesus fucking christ" he flinched, jumping backwards slightly. "Dude what the hell happened to you?" He squatted down, closer to my level.
I tried to answer him, but all I could respond with was violent sobbing; the tears soaking my face.
"Hey, hey, hey" he hushed me, trying to calm me down. But to be fair, I had a right to be hysterically crying on the bathroom floor.
"Come on I'll take you to the nurses office. Can you walk?" He reached for my hand to help me up, but my legs gave way as soon as I put my weight on them. I shook my head in shame and looked down at the floor, still sobbing.
"Sh. It's okay" I didn't really appreciate him treating me like a toddler, but honestly, I preferred it to any other way. At least he didn't go straight to a teacher, who'd call my parents, or saw me and decided to worsen the damage.
I was taken off guard when he picked me up bridal style and carried me out of the bathroom and down the hall. We both gained strange looks from others, but he didn't seem bothered. After a short journey, he placed me down on a bed in the nurses office and left, while she scrambled frantically for supplies to clean me off.
After about half an hour she released me with a cooling pack for my chest and a warning to take things easy for the rest of the day, seeing as there was only twenty minutes left of the day, there was no point sending me home. I looked in the one way window outside her office. I looked like Frankenstein's monster. The deep depressions under my eyes didn't compliment my features and she missed a spot of blood on my chin. I was going to lift my shirt to see the bruise, before realising that she could see me from her office and wouldn't appreciate me flashing my chest at her. Especially as damaged as it looks now. I was still patting the stain on my chin when I saw the same person appear behind me. I turned, not knowing if I should thank him or if that was too awkward.
"Hey" he smiled, but not too much so it made us both uncomfortable.
"H-hey" I sighed. This was one of the worst conditions I'd been in the past few weeks, and I wasn't comfortable showing my damaged self to strangers.
"You're Tyler, right?" How did this guy recognise me. The janitor is more popular than me.
"H-how did you know my name"
"My girlfriend Jenna told me about you. She said you're a pretty cool guy" he smiled again. Shit, is this Josh? Is he going to beat me up even more. Wait, why didn't he just do it in the toilets first. It seems like the most logical decisions. Albeit, people like them probably don't make logical decisions that often.
"Oh. She's nice" I could feel my confidence blossoming, not much, only enough to not stutter and keep eye contact with him for more than a second.
"Yeah she is, so who did this to you? I can straighten them out if you want" he patted me on the shoulder, before realising how fragile I was when I winced, switching to rubbing it soothingly with his hand.
"I don't know. It was just a bunch of football players" His face changed to a look of shock. Like I'd just shot his family in front of him. It was kind of unsettling.
"I mean I know they're pretty dumb assholes who think they rule the place sometimes, but why would they do this to you" it's ironic really. The most amount of care I'd ever been given was from someone who I had spent years avoiding. I don't even think I've seen my mom look this concerned before.
"They said I was hitting on Jenna" I mumbled into my own reflection. I couldn't face him while saying it. I wanted to be prepared for him to lash out at me. But he didn't, he paused, looking at his own reflection. I didn't want to interrupt so I minded my own business, gripping the hem of my shirt.
"Hey Tyler... take this" he spoke blankly. He slipped off his jacket and handed to me softly, I'm guessing to avoid skimming my chest and causing pain again. He didn't even look at me, he just turned and headed down the hall and around the corner. Leaving me and my reflection stood alone, unaware of what would happen.
AN: poor Tyler :(. So how are yoy guys liking their personalities so far?