I'm back.

* * * Ch. 11 – Older (Band of Horses) * * *

It turns out the universe's best ramen is served at a street stall by an old woman Jessica calls Auntie. The place is small, not even large enough to accommodate the number of people waiting to eat. We find ourselves as part of that group, waiting on a small line for a table to clear up and watching people scald their tongues with every new bowl of hot ramen.

It's been a while since I've started to alternate between tuning in and out of whatever Faye and Jessica talk about. I realize very quickly that, even if I listen from the very beginning, I simply don't understand anything they say. And it's not some sort of self-defense mechanism to try and ignore that I'm so out of place walking next to them. It's just that I seriously don't understand what they mean by that time with that one person in that one place that day after that other thing happened.

"Right Spike?"

I look up from the sidewalk to face Faye. I stare at her for a second, digging through my brain to check if I really didn't catch anything she just said. It fails. And all I'm left to do is ask, "Right what?"

Jessica giggles.

Faye sighs and rolls her eyes away from me. "See, this is what I mean," she says to Jessica. "But, this proves my point either way."

"What point?" I ask.

"You don't get to know anymore," Faye answers snidely. Childishly.

It makes me extremely curious. I glance at Jessica who's trying to giggle discreetly. I smile a little to get on her good side and I ask her, "What was it?"

Jessica smiles back. She bites her lips first. "She sa—"

"Don't tell him," Faye puts in quickly.

"Tsk," I respond stretching my arms behind my head. "It's not like it's going to kill me not to know."

But it just might. Tonight, I've been surrounded by so much ambiguity I don't even know what to do. What to say. What to think…It's so frustrating. I nearly feel like ripping my skull open to throw out everything I've heard and clear up my mind again.

"Fine, I won't tell him." Jessica pouts, "But you have to tell me something in return. Like a story about bounty hunting! You never tell me about them."

This catches my interest. If it's about bounty hunting, does that mean I'm actually of some relevance? Somehow, this makes me very comfortable.

"…Well, I don't know which to, " Faye responds slowly. I catch her glancing at me and I smirk when our sight meets. "Ah!" she says suddenly, "I remember a good one."

"Really? Tell me! Tell me!" Jessica says hugging Faye's arm.

"Let's see…At this time, I was already having problems with my ex so I went back to the Bebop—that's the ship Jet owns—So I went back to the Bebop because I wanted…"

I know what she's going to talk about. And more importantly, right now, I know exactly what she wants to say. Watching her hesitate, I bite my lips waiting for her to finish her sentence. When I realize that Faye is at a loss for words, I add briefly, "…time to think."

"Ah…yes," Faye answers glancing at me. She's not angry. She's not happy. It's like this is exactly what she had expected me to do. And I'm not sure if I should be glad. But once Faye's gathered her thoughts, she turns back to Jessica and continues, "Well, it'd been a long while since I'd done any bounty hunting and at first I wasn't even going to be part of it. But I really wanted to do it, so I tried to convince Jet and this guy to let me do it. Jet said it was fine as long as Spike didn't mind. But Spike was being an ass and very vague about whether I could or couldn't join him."

Insulting me already. How funny. Is this her way of trying to get me involved in their conversation? Faye let's her last sentence drag in silence. I put my hands in my pockets. She glances at me. Well, there's really nothing to lose or gain from it. "Saying you can do whatever you want," I begin, "that shouldn't make me an ass."

"Even so, girls need reassurance!" Jessica says confidently, "If you knew she wanted to go, you should have just said it was okay. 'Yes, Faye! I'll be delighted!'"

"What the hell is that?" I respond laughing a bit sardonically. "Really. If anyone needed reassurance it was me. The last hunt we did before she moved in with Da—"

"—ex," Faye clarifies, her sight somewhere across the sidewalk.

I sigh. Is she really going to this extent just to avoid Damian's name. "Whatever. The last hunt we did before she moved in with her…ex-boyfriend, the hunt ended up in total failure and I ended up shot."

Faye grunts. She faces me sternly, "Are you going to bring that up? Even if you're not blaming me for it…Just bringing it up…"

I had somewhat expected for her to react this way. But it's not like I'm even attempting to push the blame on her. My only intent is to make Jessica realize how bad it actually was. "But you said so yourself, I'm not blaming you for it," I tell Faye.

Faye obviously thinks the solution lies elsewhere. She says, "Lets just stop bringing it up at all!" She moves a little closer, "I swear you—"

I don't move back, standing so close to her that she needs to crane her neck back to keep our sight. "Faye," I say as clearly and honestly as possible, "It just happened. It's stupid to make it something so important it can't be brought up."

She heaves and glances down before looking at me and responding calmly, "…I guess."

"See, why worry about it anymore."

For the first time in a while, she doesn't break our sight after she's finished speaking. And I look at her just as directly. I notice her make-up is faded; a little smudge of her eyeliner spreading away from her left eye. Her lips are dry. The Faye of years past would have never allowed me to see her like this. So tired and frustrated…Is this a good thing or a bad thing? I'm not sure. While it feels like I'm getting to see a sight of a Faye I may not have experienced otherwise…I hate that…it's all because of Damian.

"Wow…" Jessica whispers. Faye and I turn to find her wide-eyed with amusement. I glance quickly at Faye, wondering how long it's been since we had started ignoring her. However, Jessica doesn't seem to mind, she easily continues, "I…just witnessed something amazing didn't I?"

Faye gives a step back, mumbling, "There's nothing amazing about it."

"And it's weird!," Jessica exclaims, "If I hadn't been paying attention to what you were saying, I'd swear you were just arguing about last night's boring drama episode. But definitely not something so serious! If you can fight and make up like that—and in public too—it absolutely is amazing! "

"That's—" I say before Jessica interrupts me.

"Look a small table opened up, I'll go first!" Then, she runs ahead.

She leaves Faye and me in an awkward position. I glance at Faye, unsure if there's something that'll break this suddenly odd atmosphere. I clench my jaw. After a second, I merely note, "She's…lively."

Faye is distant and it takes her a second to respond, "…Right?" Then she faintly smiles, "She reminds me a little of Ed."

"Ah, so you were aware."

"Of course I was."

We walk to the red aluminum table and take a seat on white plastic chairs. Initially, there are only two seats, but Jessica takes one from a drunken man sitting next to us. The space is cramped…I'm sitting next to Faye…so…I don't mind.

We order and while we wait for our food, we continue talking about Pittman's hunt. Jessica seems to be seriously entertained. And Faye and I never seem to reach an ending point to the story, getting sidetracked by useless details that wouldn't make a difference to remember even if the hunt had happened today.

Then, we finally receive our order: three large bowls of steaming hot ramen. Faye complains about it being too warm outside to be eating something so hot. She doesn't eat right away, but moves the food around as if hoping it will cool down faster. I take off my coat and begin eating without complaint. However, as I bring the noodles close to my mouth, I feel the steam on my face and I can tell I'll get burned if I take a bite. I sigh and let the noodles fall back on the bowl. Seeing us pause, Jessica, who seems to know you're not supposed to touch the noodles even though they're at your table, urges us to carry on with the story.

So, Faye and I continue to tell her about Pittman's hunt. We tell her about how we finally captured her and how Faye duct-taped Pittman's hands together. Faye doesn't forget to mention Pittman's advances on me or how she had shoved her gun down's Pittman's throat to get her to reveal Anna's location. And how we buckled her in the back of our vehicle. We talk about it for another good thirty minutes, even so far as telling Jessica about the necklace Pittman wore. But after that, Faye and I find ourselves in the awkward position of wanting to tell something without explicitly saying anything at all.

Faye is the first to attempt it, "So then we just waited for Jet to come find us since we were pretty much out of gas."

Jessica is disappointed. "That can't possibly be it! What did you guys do while you waited for so long? Wasn't it boring?" She asks directing the last part to me.

"Uh…what did…" I know very clearly what we did. But, even if I got to kiss and touch Faye, it really was nothing. That was also just because of Damian. After a second of thought, I say a bit uncertainly, "…slept…We slept while we waited."

"But with Pittman in the back," Jessica says slurping a large noodle, "what if she escaped!"

"You take turns," Faye says quickly. "I slept first for a while. Then Spike…slept…" She looks down and moves her food around the bowl. "That was really all…"

I peer at Faye, but she doesn't notice. For the first time in our storytelling we seem to agree on something. I don't want to tell Jessica what really happened while we waited either. Not because I'm embarrassed or because I don't want to remember. I just don't feel like it's all that relevant to anything but Damian and I've had enough of dealing with his presence. In fact, I may very well be reaching my tolerance quota for the day.

I look at Jessica and smirk, "You underestimate how much waiting bounty hunters do. It happens all the time. You wait for a decent bounty. Then you have to wait while you figure out where to find him. Then you have to wait for him to show up. Then you have to wait to catch him at the right time. And it's just as bad afterwards since you have to wait in line to finally get your reward. If it all plays out, you'll get your money. But if not, you have to wait for everything to be double checked."

Jessica bites her hard-boiled egg and pauses. "Then I definitely couldn't do it! I don't have the patience for that!" She faces Faye, "How do you deal with so much waiting! You should just drop bounty hunting now and work full-time at Marty's. They really like you there!"

Faye laughs a little nervously, "Maybe."

This time, I don't even bother to look at Faye. I simply continue eating my noodles. After all, I'm really tired of this. And, even if I ask or begin to wonder, it's not like I'll get a response. I don't know if I was expecting something to play out differently or not. But it doesn't matter. Right now, I need to convince myself that it'll be impossible for me to know everything that has happened in a year.

When that part of the conversation seems to die, Faye and Jessica return to talking about things only the two of them understand. And I sit there, vaguely listening and eating. I finish before the two of them and I glance around while trying to decide what do next.

Something captures my attention. On the door of a shop a couple of meters ahead, hasn't that guy been standing there for quite a while now? I wonder what he's waiting for…Actually, haven't I stayed here for just as long? I check my communicator for the time…an hour has already passed. I shove my communicator back into my coat's pocket and try to concentrate on what Faye and Jessica say. I sit there for a little longer and I guess, it really is long enough.

I say languidly, "I'm tired so I think I'll turn in for the night…About Da—about your ex, I'll call you tomorrow afternoon and we'll see how it goes."

"…okay…" Faye says very slowly.

When I stand up, I notice that the man is no longer standing next to the shop's door. I look around briefly but I don't see him anywhere near. Somehow, it really bothers me.

"Is something wrong?" Faye asks.

"No…nothing."

I say goodbye to the two of them and walk away. The temperature doesn't change much even after leaving the crowded ramen shop. It really is hot tonight. And why is it that after saying it, now I'm so damned tired? I unbutton my shirt a little, roll my sleeves, and give a couple more steps. I stop. My coat. I forgot it…I look back. It's on the back of the chair next to Faye's, maybe she'll notice it and keep it until tomorrow. Maybe. Or maybe not…Still, right now, walking one block back feels like I'll have to cross half of Mars. But, my coat. I have my communicator in there…and my cigarettes too…Fuck. Now I feel like smoking. Well, at least I have my wallet and gun. Maybe I should just buy another pack…but I had just bought the pack in my coat. I sigh and turn back.

After, what feels like hours, I finally see the ramen stall again. It's still crowded. And I think the waiting line actually got a little longer. But Faye and Jessica are there. Although the table I had occupied earlier is in the opposite side of the stall, I can hear them as I walk back.

I move around the cart unhurriedly. But suddenly something changes. The lively voices of Faye and Jessica stop. And it's not like it's a gradual fade of them walking away. It's just abrupt silence.

I run to the table—It's that guy. The one waiting by the door. I slow down, but I don't stop walking towards them. What the hell is he doing standing there?

Faye notices me first. She's sitting down, my coat folded over her left arm. She meets my gaze easily and her eyes lead me towards that guy standing next to Jessica. Then, she lifts her right hand and tucks in the strays of her hair behind her right ear. But there's a peculiar form that she uses. Her pinky and ring finger folded inward, her thumb cocked, the other two held together over her temple…a gun…is the man armed?

I look at him. But his interest seems to be solely captured by Jessica. He's speaking too quietly and it's impossible for me to hear what he's saying. I walk a little closer and try to discern most of the words I can't hear by reading his lips.

"You'll come with me today, won't you?" he says.

Jessica shakes her head and her shoulders pull upwards, "I'm with a friend tonight…so it's…not possible."

"But you don't want your friend to get hurt, do you? That's not a very good thing for someone to do."

"I don't want that," Jessica answers nervously, her shoulders now shaking.

I glance at Faye and I see her eyebrows knitting together. Though she's sitting motionless on the chair, I know that she's desperately trying to find a way to help. The only thing preventing her from acting is her position. The way her legs are tucked under the table and the way in which the back of her chair is right next to another one would make it impossible for her to do anything but hurt herself in the process. No matter which way I look at it, Jessica is definitely in a hostile situation and Faye has wound up tangled in it.

It really is crowded. In a place like this, it'll be bad for weapons to be involved. I'm not really sure how to handle it…but I guess there's nothing else that can be done.

"Jess!" I say loudly, "How have you been?"

That much works. The man finally turns towards me. It's strange, his soft features make him look like a nice person. I might have doubted Faye, had it not been for the back of the gun he failed to cover as he turned. He hides it quickly though. And I pretend not to have noticed. I walk closer even and rest my hand on the back of Jessica's chair.

She's surprised. "S-Spike!"

"Are you guys eating ramen here? Do you mind if I join you?"

Jessica looks confused.

The man says somewhat haughtily, "Sorry, but Jess was finished eating and she was going to join me now."

"Really?" I say openly, "But she's still has half of her noodles left." I turn to Jessica and lay my hand on her back, "Jess, you need to eat more, the crazy diets you go into aren't good. Besides, men don't really like women that are too thin." I look up at the man. His expression shifts quickly from annoyance to neutral. "Isn't that right?"

He states in a rather annoying voice, "Jessica is not like that, so it should be fine if she doesn't feel like eating half a bowl of ramen."

I place my right hand on his left shoulder. He jumps. Again, I act as if I'm not aware. "You say that now, but what'll you do if her ribs start poking through. Just be patient," I say moving him closer to the chair I had occupied minutes before, "sit down and let her finish her noodles."

He's clearly not happy with the way things are going. But I'm sure that he also realizes that making a fuss at a place like this won't do anything but cause more issues. He sits down apprehensively, but as he does, his sight never leaves Jessica.

I glimpse at Faye and smile, tilting my chin upwards just slightly. Somehow, Faye catches on very quickly. She says, "I'll get an extra chair." Then, Faye asks the woman behind her if she can move forward a little since she needs to stand. Faye finally squirms out of her seat and moves a few steps away.

Just then, one of the two girls serving the ramen passes by the table. I say quickly, "Could we order?"

She stops right next to the man and glances at us. She's holding a large tray with bowls of steaming ramen. She takes a second to shift it and says, "Sure, just let me get these—"

I pull Jessica up from her seat. "Run," I tell her.

Jessica listens quickly and dashes forward somewhere in Faye's direction. I hear her say, "Auntie! I'll pay you later!"

The man struggles to rise. I stay behind, hoping to find a way to give Faye and Jessica a little more time to get away.

"Jessica! Wait!" The man shouts. He turns to the person behind him, "Move your fucking chair!"

"Stop!" The waitress pleads, "Even if you're the chief of the police, this is not the way you treat people here!"

I'm about to follow behind Faye and Jessica. But then I hear something heavy striking the aluminum table.

"Shut up," the chief says angrily, holding his gun out. Seeing this, the man behind him moves quickly. The chief stands up and waves his gun at the waitress. "Girlie, that's not the way you talk to me."

The waitress cowers back, the tray and bowls shaking as she moves. She is completely unaware of distance and doesn't stop moving away until I stop her by placing my hands on her shoulders, her back merely a few inches away from my chest. She glances at me, completely frightened.

By this point, everyone in the stall has realized the extent of the argument. People have begun to shrink in their seats and some further away have either dashed away running or hid underneath the tables. The old woman in charge of the stall doesn't seem to be worried and she continues cooking ramen as if nothing of importance was occurring.

I look back at Faye rushing Jessica forward. If I can still see them, it may be far too easy for the chief to catch up. Even if I go with them now, Faye is one thing, but there's no way I can get Jessica to run any faster than she already is. I really regret getting involved in this now, but if I'm already in this deep...

I say as mockingly as possible, "Then what's the proper way to talk to the gentleman that is the chief of the police." The waitress turns around again and stares at me, her eyes screaming my stupidity much louder than she ever could. I smirk a little and lead her to stand behind me instead of in front.

The chief grins, "You're a cocky fucker aren't you? From the beginning, if you hadn't interrupted, everything would have been fine."

"Sorry," I apologize sarcastically. "I'm naturally inclined to be nice. I can't help but rescue a poor woman when she's getting hassled."

He laughs, "Jess? Poor woman? That's an interesting way of referring to a whore. The expensive type that'll do just about anything for money. Surprised?"

I had already expected something like this so I respond easily, "Not at all. And to be honest, it's not even because of her that I've decided to waste this much time on you."

This bit confuses him. His mouth twists and all he can say is, "Fucker."

I chuckle.

It's then that the chief peers past the waitress and past me, rashly searching the area in which Faye and Jessica had run with his sight. I take the opportunity to draw the gun from my back. And when he finally bothers to face me, I've already readied my trigger finger.

He laughs. "Would you like to spend the rest of your life in jail? Ah, but there's something better. Go ahead and fire. If you do that, you open up the law so I can shoot you." He taps his forehead and he says, "Right between the eyes."

"That's fine," I respond aloofly, "I've lived long enough and I haven't really gotten anywhere in the past few years anyway."

Still. If I were to say that I could easily shoot the chief, it would be a lie. I relax my shoulder while clearly maintaining focus on the chief. Well, if it comes down to a matter of missing or not missing, I suppose I don't have another alternative but to hit just right.

The chief runs the tip of his gun over the aluminum tabletop. He rubs his chin for a second before slowly turning the corner of the table. His lip curls and he says, "What are you thinking about for so long? Getting scared now?"

"Nah," I say making sure my aim is precise, "I'm just wondering if this is worth the bullet."

"Do you even have a permit for that?"

"Of course I do," I say dismissively.

And I shoot. A scream. To my right. The waitress flails. And then my right shoulder burns. And then a loud crash of tumbling dishes. The liquid heat spreading quickly down my body. I glance at the chief, back on the ground and gritted teeth. Gun by his feet. To the waitress. Then I clutch my shoulder. "What the hell was that for!"

She's crying, her hands already over her quivering lips, "I'm sorry."

I grimace, the heat biting my skin. I glance at the chief one more time and kick the gun gently enough for it to slide out of his reach. I look at the waitress again, "Sorry, but I'm going to have to leave him there. And that," I say pointing at the gun, "don't let anyone touch it."

She nods, or seems to nods. "Right…" Then, she smiles clumsily, "No one likes him around here, so we won't tell on you…But you know, we still have to call an ambulance."

I smirk, "I guess I'll take that as your apology for the burn."

I bite my lips once more before turning to get a running start. Surprisingly, for the first time in the night, I hear the owner shout after me, "You have to cool down that burn!"

As if that were a priority. I run. I run towards the direction I last saw Faye and Jessica. I don't even know why I'm trying to follow behind them. I just run. Because Faye has my coat. And my cigarettes. And my communicator—That's right, I don't need to try and find them. I move aimlessly, simply creating distance between the ramen stall and me. I run for about fifteen minutes before I decide to stop. Not because I'm exhaused or because I've created enough distance, but because there's a convenience store and I can see that a customer is being allowed to use the store phone.

I walk inside and casually walk along the aisles. First, I decide to stop by the restroom too see how badly I've been scalded. I unbutton my shirt and curse after seeing just how bad it really is. Realizing the extent of it only makes it sting even more. I sigh and I hang my shirt over the paper towels. My skin is red. Not something extremely vivid, but something like a bad sunburn. From the bottom of my chin, my arm, half of my torso, to my upper hip. Everything is red. I run cold water in the sink and splash some over my body. It feels really good. I repeat the same process several times, seeing my skin loose some of its redness.

Eventually, I heave, forcing myself to shut off the water and put my shirt on again. The miso stock has nearly dried and I can see the little rivers of brown setting in on my shirt. There's nothing I can do about that, or the smell either, so I finish buttoning up and walk out.

On the way to the counter, I pick up a bottle of water and gum. When I begin to pay, I ask if I can use the phone. The clerk lets me know that there's a charge. I tell him it's fine and he finishes up the transaction before handing me the receiver.

Though I know it from memory, I don't want Faye to know that, so I decide to dial my phone number instead of hers. I only hear the tone for a few rings before Faye ask, "Where are you?"

"Hello to you too…Let's see, I think it was near Elm and…"

"Eighty-second," the clerk puts in shortly.

"That's right," I say quietly. Then, I repeat to Faye, "Elm and eighty-second."

Faye takes a second to respond, slowly saying, "…Already there."

"Why? Where are you?"

"Palm and…seventy-nine. In the bar where someone I know works."

So she must be safe now. I exhale. But just as my muscles relax, the events of the night catch up to me and I feel incredibly exhausted. In fact, so tired that my back begins to ache. How much am I allowed to do for Faye? Or rather, how much is it okay for me to do before going insane with the frustration of not knowing my role? This much is enough. It's fine now, isn't it? I've done enough for one day. Faye seems to be doing well, so even if I leave her alone now, she should be okay. "Then—"

"Come over," Faye cuts in. "It won't take too long for you to get here."

I exhale, the weight of my exhaustion piling over my shoulders.

But Faye doesn't even notice. Instead, she says, "I'm waiting at a place called Angels."

"Is that a lesbian bar?"

"You're wasting time. Just hurry up and get here." Then she hangs up.

I don't know whether or not to even waste energy on a reaction. I end the call and hand the receiver to the clerk as I ask him about the shortest way to get to Angels.

He laughs first and says, "Yeah, that's a lesbian bar. Is your girl there?"

"Does it sound that way?"

He smirks, "I guess not if she's at Angels. Anyway, to get there, just head left here on eighty-second until you meet Palm. Then turn right until seventy nine. You'll see it easily. Has a bright pink neon sign on the outside. Should be seven-eight blocks."

"Thanks," I say shortly before walking out.

"Good luck!" I hear just as the door shuts behind me.

I frown. That's the last phrase that I want to hear now. The sound of it makes me stop on my tracks and I have to remind myself that I need to start walking before I move again.

Thankfully, it turns out to be only seven blocks of distance. The place is easy to find; the sign really is obnoxious enough that I had spotted it a block away. I stand underneath it for a second reading "Angels" and in smaller letters underneath "Women Only."

…Really Faye? You hate me this much.

The place doesn't have a line, but through the windows I can tell that there is a decent number of people inside. Seeing no other choice, I approach the bouncers. They're both women. Very tall and very thick women who have no inconvenience wearing their guns openly. Once I reach them, I ask if either could get Faye or Jessica to see me.

"That's not possible," is the short response.

"Poor girl," the other says quietly.

But I hear it, and I instinctively ask, "Then, they really are here aren't they?"

The first responds again, "This is not the place to harass people, please leave."

One of my eyebrows jumps. Do I look like that sort of person?...I'm getting annoyed so easily…I breathe once before evenly stating, "Listen, I don't mind if I see them or not, but can one of you get my coat from Faye? That's all I really want."

"Ah! So you're that person!" The second says pointing at me.

"That person?" I ask.

"What's your name?" The first says.

"Spike."

"Yep," they say in unison, "That's him." They turn to each other and laugh, jinxing each other once before turning to face me again.

"Sorry, buddy," the first says smiling, "We've been so busy keeping a lookout for Jess that I nearly forgot. It's just, that chief is one persistent bastard who can't tell when something is just business. But anyway, yeah, Faye said you might be coming. "

Might be? Wasn't she the one that insisted I come? "Then," for a second I'm wordless, "…can you let her know I'm here now?"

The first scratches her head and looks around the street. She turns to me and says, "Just go on in, Faye's sitting in the back."

"It's fine," I respond quickly, "I can wait here."

"No, really," the second responds, "just step inside. No one's going to give you trouble since we let you in. Here, come with me."

I follow after her, not caring anymore about what happens. The sooner I get my coat and see Faye, the sooner I get to leave and find a way to keep cooling down the scald and rest. And more importantly. The sooner I can stop troubling myself with trying to find my place in all this.

The bouncer and I pass through a second set of doors and then she suddenly yells, "Faye! Spike is here!" She turns to me and smiles, "There you go."

"Thanks," I say uncertainly, already feeling the animosity of several glances. She turns back and exits again. I avoid directly meeting anyone's sight and look up, peering deeper into the bar. Faye catches my attention and motions me to go towards her. Walking there, I realize that the place is not really all that big. And that there are actually a couple of men, though unmistakably not heterosexual. I blink and look towards Faye again. Just then, I realize she's sitting alone. I give a few more steps and I ask, "Where's Jessica?"

"What happened to you?" Faye says standing up. She smirks, "Your neck is as bright as my lipstick."

"It's not that bad."

She waits for me to reach the booth. Then, she peels the collar of my shirt. I feel her fingertips and flinch. Faye stares at me somewhat insulted. Then, she waits for a second and slowly places her cool fingers over my neck again. It feels good. I close my eyes—Damn, I wish she wouldn't only place her fingertips. The length of her fingers and palm, I wish I could hold them tightly against the stinging of my neck.—I force my eyes open.

"So," she asks mischievously, lifting my chin and carefully looking underneath it. "How'd you end up like this?"

I lick my lips and say, "The waitress freaked out when I shot the chief and she ended up spilling the damned ramen all over me."

Faye stops looking at my skin to meet my eyes, "So it was you…we heard it. Kind of a stupid move."

"I know it was…Anyway, no one else got hurt and I didn't get any of his vitals..."

She laughs, "So you got off pretty well."

"If getting scalded is getting off pretty well. The waitress had just gotten the ramen from the kitchen, so I wouldn't be surprised if it'd been boiling seconds before…Well, I guess it's fine, it's not that bad but it's a lot more than you think."

"Is it?" she asks pulling the neck of my shirt again, rising to her tip-toes, and peering inside my clothes.

…Actually, I'm not all that comfortable with this. "What are you trying to do?" I say taking her hands away from my shirt. "Pervert."

"You wish…" She steps back, jerking her hands away from my fingers, and sits down haughtily. "You smell like ramen," she says.

I watch her stare at the empty side across from her. I guess I'm supposed to take a seat. I move slowly, slouching over the table and resting my arm on the tabletop while supporting my head with my palm. I close my eyes, yawning. I keep them closed afterwards, feeling the blood pulsating through the burns.

"Spike…"

"What is it?" I ask dully.

"…are you really all that tired?"

"I wonder," I answer.

We sit in silence for at least five minutes. But it doesn't feel right. There must be something else…I mean, she couldn't have possibly made me walk all the way here just to ask that.

"Spike."

"Hm?"

"…Help me pay for a taxi."

This…really can't be it. I look up at her and grin. "Ha, I should have expected this."

"If you'd let your wallet in your coat then you wouldn't have had to worry."

"You know I never keep my wallet there," I say sitting up. "But while we're at it, hand me back my coat."

Faye grunts and tosses it to me. She waits a second before asking again, "So, are you going to help? Jessica left her purse in the ramen shop…and today I didn't carry much with me."

No wonder she made me pay for everything today. But. That aside. She made me walk here just for that? "Ask someone else."

"That's why I'm asking you."

This isn't it either. Is it? "Just walk."

"It's twenty minutes from here!"

Why don't you just tell me? "And then what?"

"What…do you mean?"

I really am at my limit. "What else are you going to expect me to do?" I respond more coldly than I intend.

"Why are you—You said you'd help me out."

Why is it so hard? If you have something to tell me, just do so. I heave. "That's right," I begin, choosing not to mask any of my annoyance, "I said I'd help you, not that I'd become your bitch—"

"—I get it!" She looks at the wall and her fingers start tapping the tabletop anxiously. I watch her swallow, stare at my coat, and lick her lips. She can't get herself to look at me directly while she speaks, yet she manages to make her voice unreadable, "…Damian's fine…In the news, right before you called, he's been rescued."

So…that's it…But. If that's the case, what's with this attitude? If Damian's okay, shouldn't she be at least a little happy over this? Otherwise, why was she so intent on finding him? From the beginning, I could care less about Damian. Then why is it that, even with this change, my worry over Faye has yet to decrease?

Faye exhales and finally manages to face me. "I want to get home and rest…Jessica is coming since she's still freaked out over what happened earlier…If you want. You can sleep on my couch. It's big. I even used to sleep there before I got my bed. So, help me pay for a cab."

I want to know. I don't care about being tired. I don't care about being annoyed. I just want to know. What happened between Faye and Damian that's gotten everything to become like this? I can't let her be without knowing what's the cause behind it. "Then," I begin slowly, "I guess it's fine. It'll probably be cheaper than any place I could find tonight."

"Really?" She asks more to herself than me, "That's it?"

"What?"

"Somehow, I thought you'd put up more of an argument."

"I would have. But I'm probably more worn out than you."

"What's wrong with you?"

"I'm older now. Two years past thirty and you realize you're not getting any younger."

I don't know why but this much makes her smile and her tone of voice finally changes. "Poor Spike," she says teasingly, "Did today wear you out old man?"

Though I'm glad to see her reacting to something, coming from her, the remark insults me. It's not like she has the right to be talking about age anyway. But I realize that saying this will only make her revert to her previous condition. In the end, all I can say is, "It's not like I'm fifty you know."

"Ah," she persists, "but with your luck, that's probably your total life expectan—Nevermind, if it's a matter of luck, then you'll probably outlive me."

"Single men die much sooner."

She laughs and says very loosely, "Then just find someone and…" She doesn't finish her sentence. I wait. But Faye let's the silence extend for much longer than anyone would find acceptable.

I look up and notice that she's become completely distracted by something else, her sight fixated in the very center of the table. I stare at her for a second before deciding to ask, "And what after I find her?"

Faye looks up, blinking, until her sight adjusts to my distance. "…After you find her…" She chuckles lightly, "First. Find someone."

I smirk, "I know. That's why I'm more interested to know what you'll say I need to do after I find her." I meet her sight straight on, "What do I do?"

Faye freezes over. Completely. It takes her two entire seconds before she even blinks. She licks her lips and stands up slowly, much too slowly really. "I better go find Jess," she says walking away from the booth with complete constraint of her reaction.

I watch her leave until she takes a hallway away from the main room. I lean back on the seat but I'm not able to keep a straight face. That's not what I meant by that at all. I meant. Because it was obvious first I needed to find someone. That's why I wanted to know what she thought came afterwards. And even if it'd been meant to be any other way—Come on Faye, it's not like you didn't know already.

But, I guess, even with that, I'm happy to know she's still aware of me. Even if only a little. It's a relief. Because it's not like I was intentionally trying to remind her that she's the one I'm interested in. Rather. I was just…Maybe though. I wasn't. Was I? No…I was. Wasn't I?...Fuck. I was. I didn't think about it. But I did it. I did it anyway.

I sigh…I better not have messed anything up. And when did I start smiling? I shouldn't be so damn excited to have her react like this either. "Great," I say quietly with every once of sarcasm I can muster. Then, I sit in the booth for a good five minutes contemplating my dilemma and cursing at myself for increasing my anxiousness.

"You're okay!" Jessica yells and shakes me out of my stupor. "I'm so glad! I'm sorry about what happened and thank you for what you did." She's suddenly quiet but returns to her set speaking rhythm quickly. "I was really scared but Faye told me that you're just like a cockroach so you wouldn't die."

"Hearing that wouldn't make anyone happy."

She replies assertively, "But it should. It means she has confidence in you! Besides, even if she said it, I could tell she was way worried—Ah! Don't tell her I said that."

I smirk, "I'm not sure. Should I tell her?"

"No! Don't! How about…I'll tell you what she said earlier. Right before eating!"

Though more coherently, she reacts just like Ed too. "…I wonder."

"It's really, really interesting!" Jessica sits down on whatever is left of the seat on my side of the booth. She leans closer to me and says in a loud whisper, "It's super interesting!"

"Is it?"

"Yes. Super interesting!"

Had it not been for dealing with Ed for so long, I may not be able to keep up with Jessica now. For a second, I actually miss Ed. And then I remember how much of a handful she can actually be.

I decide I've messed with Jessica enough and say, "Okay, it's a deal then."

Jessica squeals and waves me closer to her before she says, "Faye said that, since the very beginning, both of you were always ignoring each other."

I sit up slowly afterwards, "How's that interesting? Should I go tell her now?"

"No, wait!" She says blocking me, "It is super interesting because, seeing you two today, I think, instead of ignoring each other, isn't it that you're trying to keep yourselves from getting any closer?"

I can only laugh. Entirely out of uneasiness.

"I'm serious!" she says a little upset.

"Is that how it looks?" I ask her.

"Yes! But not only that," she responds easily, "that's also how it feels."

"…is it…"

Then, someone from the back calls out, "Jess, the girls are waiting for you!"

"We're coming!" Jessica turns and pulls me up from the seat as she stands, "Let's go, Faye and Sarah are waiting for us in the back."

I wince. "Sarah?"

"Oh, yeah, of course you wouldn't know her yet." She grabs my arm and tugs me forward, "Well, hurry so you can meet her. But don't worry, since she's coming along, she's willing to pay part of the fare."

And she leads me through the same hallway Faye had gone earlier. We walk through the kitchen and for some reason I'm briefly introduced to the staff before walking out through the back door.

Faye and Sarah are standing right outside of the entrance, smoking.

Sarah looks boyish. Thin and tall with a well-toned body. Her dirty blonde hair just long enough to be pulled back into a ponytail. Faded eye-liner. Skinny jeans with brown boots and a low-cut white tank top with a blue bra. Next to Faye, she looks rather plain. But I doubt I'm being objective about it anymore.

"There you are," Faye says only to Jessica. I notice she hesitates before she addresses me. "…Spike," she says looking out of the alley and into the street, "I called a cab a while ago so he should be coming by soon." She extends her hand and only glances at me, "These are yours."

I swallow.

I take the pack of cigarettes from her hand and snatch the one from in between her lips. "Then this one is mine as well, right?" I don't wait to see her react. I walk closer to the street, smoking whatever is left of her cigarette as I go.

Once there, I look back at the three and notice they're slowly walking closer. Faye is the one furthest back. And after putting out her cigarette, Sarah is first. I turn back to the street and watch a couple of cars pass by. I put the pack of cigarettes in my coat and take another drag. Sarah reaches me. She watches me take the last drag of the cigarette. I let the butt fall to the ground and put it out.

But Sarah is still looking at me. I meet her gaze, "What is it?"

"You look so cool smoking." Contrary to her image, her voice is rather feminine.

Jessica runs forward, clinging to Sarah's arm as if to keep her from going anywhere. She says quickly, "You can't! He's Faye's!"

"I'm what?" I ask.

"No, what I meant is—"

"—If it's not like that, it's fine," Sarah says dismissively. She turns to me again, "Hi, I'm Sarah and you're totally my type. What's your name again?"

"Spike," I say, "and, apparently, I'm Faye's."

Sarah giggles, "What to do? I think I like you even more now."

Besides us, Jessica is a mess of nervousness. "Friend! I meant Faye's friend," she finally manages to get out. But by that time it seems rather unnecessary.

For some reason, Jessica and Sarah keep quiet when Faye is only a few feet away. And when she stops next to me, they watch her expectantly, from the looks of it, seriously hoping to see her explode with jealousy. And I'm the only one not surprised when she merely says, "Spike, let me have another cigarette."

"You already smoked half of one," I tell her.

"It wasn't enough." Before I can do anything to stop her, she steps forward and digs the pack of cigarettes out from my coat. She casually takes one out and returns the pack.

"Did you not hear me just now?"

She looks up, the cigarette already between her lips. "Lighter."

"Really?"

But she doesn't say anything else. She just stands there. Waiting.

I exhale quietly, pulling the lighter out of my pocket. I unconsciously flick it on and hold it for her. Faye leans closer. She wraps her fingers around my hand to keep the flame in place, lights the cigarette, and releases my hand, her fingers dragging on my skin as she slowly moves back.

No one says anything else after that. We stand around awkwardly looking at the street and exchanging glances. Finally, Jessica and Sarah attempt to start a conversation. But Faye is never interested enough to be part of it and I never know what they're talking about. They try to ask me about myself, but by this point I'm too tired to care. And we end up standing in pairs. Faye and I smoking and not saying a word. Jessica and Sarah talking to each other rather excitedly. The contrast is so antagonizing that by the time the cab finally arrives, we all rush forward to reach it.

Faye, Jessica, and Sarah sit in the backseat while I take shotgun. The cab driver starts making small talk with me and I decide to follow along just to stay awake. Behind us, only for a couple of minutes, I can hear the women moving. After I notice they've stopped making so much noise, I look through the rearview mirror and see them all sitting with straight faces. Faye is looking out the window. The cab driver asks me something. I look forward and answer.

Once we arrive at the apartments, the women step out of the cab quickly. Contrary to what Jessica had said, Sarah does not pay a single cent of the fare. They stand behind me, waiting as the cab driver finishes my transaction. But when I turn around, they're already walking several meters ahead of me.

I don't care about Jessica. I don't care about Sarah. But Faye—That's fine, Faye. Walk ahead.

* * * Ch. 11 End, Continued on Chapter 12 * * *

About this story: It seems what I had initially thought as a two-part chapter didn't agree with me. The second part ended up being divided into two so that now there are three parts—You know what, it really doesn't matter anymore. What did I learn from all this? I'm horrible at estimating the lengths of my works.

Again, thanks for the support! So, reviewers, readers, thank you for being awesome. I promise that by the end of this story you will be rewarded somehow.