A/N: Hi! I'm back! I won't say much about my time away except that I've overcome some struggles recently that I hope won't be any more of a problem. Anyway, let's get to the story.

April 1964

Quinn looked back and forth between Olivia and Fitz, waiting for one to speak first. She could see the love in Fitz's eyes, and the conflict in Olivia's, and she found herself willing them back together. She had spent their entire month away willing them back together, gently reminding Olivia of the love they shared. Olivia had moved from hatred to ambivalence, but for Quinn it was enough. She just wanted her friend open to the possibility of rekindling their love, to the belief that they were strong enough to make it.

"May I carry your bags in Ms. Pope?" Tom asked, breaking the moment's tension.

Olivia blinked at him as if she hadn't registered his presence until that moment. She gave a half-nod, her eyes quickly moving back to Fitz who hadn't stopped looking at her. Quinn unlocked the door and Tom followed her inside, leaving the estranged lovers alone. Fitz wasn't sure what to say, or how it was possible that she seemed even more beautiful since he'd seen her last. Whatever had happened, Paris had been good to her. "You changed your hair."

Olivia nodded, reaching up to touch her hair, now stopping just below her ears in soft waves. "The producers wanted me to go back to the way I looked in Carmen Jones. I guess it's okay."

"I like it," Fitz replied, then added a moment later, "if that means anything."

"Thank you," was all Olivia could come up with to say. It was one thing to hate him when she was on the other side of the world, when she wasn't looking at him and remembering every time he'd looked at her with those eyes. How she'd missed those eyes…

xXx

Paris, France

March 1964

"Do I have something on my face?" William Holden asked, his tan hand poised to wipe whatever Olivia was staring at off his face. He and Olivia sat in their hotel's restaurant, having lunch after an early wrap day.

Olivia snapped back to reality and quickly averted her gaze, blushing. "Oh no. I was just daydreaming."

William smiled. "About me?"

"Something like that." It wasn't technically a lie. He and Fitz had eyes the same soft shade of blue, and she'd found herself thinking of those eyes so far away.

His eyebrows raised. "Oh? Anything you'd like to share… Perhaps over dinner?"

Olivia continued to smile, giving an almost sheepish shake of her head. "Maybe some other time. I don't like to mix business and pleasure."

"Why not? It seems to be going well for Richard and Gabrielle."

They had filmed their first kissing scene that day, and to William's delight they'd had to do it at least ten times before it looked right. Olivia knew she was off her game, but William's cologne reminded her terribly of Fitz and it was all she could do not to cry in his arms.

Olivia chuckled and shook her head. "Well everything's written to work out for them."

He shrugged. "That's true. Just thought I'd try my luck."

"Well it was a commendable effort."

"It was a dumb effort. You've got eyes for someone else."

Olivia looked up at him with a frown. "Why do you say that?"

"Earlier when we were filming, your heart was playing hopscotch, and I'm secure enough to admit it wasn't at all on my account. And the way you were just staring, that stupid moony look, that's love if I've ever seen it." He gave a wry smile. "So who's the lucky guy?"

She frowned deeper. "Nobody now."

He reached over and gave her hand a squeeze. "Putting aside the fact that I just hit on you, I'm gonna give you advice that it took me 40 years of living and two ex-wives to accept: when you love somebody, you don't just let go. I know how it is. You're twenty-something and you think there's a whole world of people to love—and there is—but when the party's over—and believe me it ends—you're gonna want someone who's there for more than a night. It's not about who you want to dance with all Saturday night. It's about who you want to make eggs with on Sunday morning."

Olivia blinked away tears. "But it's over."

William shook his head. "It's not over. You don't look like you're looking when it's over. Believe me. You just need to give it another shot. Even if you've gotta start all over."

Olivia nodded, grateful for his kindness. They spent the rest of their lunch trading acting horror stories and Olivia found she felt better as they rode the elevator to their floor, although she knew most of her exuberance was the four Bellinis she'd had with her lunch. William walked her to her room and stood beside the door with a smile as Olivia searched her handbag for her key. She finally found it in her makeup bag and produced it with a smile. "They really should find a better way to lock these rooms, or at least make the keys easier to keep track of."

William shook his head. "It's Paris. Nothing will ever change. I've been coming here for 20 years and everything is still the same as it was when I was your age."

Olivia laughed. "You say that like you're so old."

"Because I am."

"Well you wear it well."

He smiled wryly. "It's just a good suit."

Olivia laughed again then reached out to pat his cheek. "Thank you for such a nice lunch. It's been one of those days—for the past few weeks honestly—and you made it a little brighter."

"Don't mention it." He leaned over and kissed her cheek, lingering a bit past platonic. Olivia pulled her face away then stared at him for a moment. She closed her eyes and pressed her lips to his, hoping to feel something after he'd been so kind. She released him when nothing happened and looked down at her yellow pumps, matched so caringly by Quinn with her new purse. She sheepishly lifted her eyes to his and shook her head. William nodded, already aware. Olivia unlocked her door and went inside, not surprised to find Quinn in the suite's living room, picking through her clothes.

"Where are you going?" Olivia asked as she swayed to the couch. She plopped onto its plush cushions and took off her shoes.

"I met a man. Giovanni. He's an Italian bartender."

"What were you doing in a bar in the middle of the day?"

Quinn looked up at her friend's flushed face with a smirk. "I could ask you the same question."

"Touché." She watched as Quinn pulled out a dark blue dress that belonged to one of them. Though it had been exchanged so many times Olivia couldn't remember who bought it. "Don't wear that. Wear that green one. You look like Lauren Bacall in it."

Quinn nodded and put the blue dress back then pulled out the green one. "He drives a moped. Isn't that darling? He's taking me to this really old theatre called the Angelica. Supposedly it's one of the only places to survive World War II."

"Sounds fun." Olivia lay back on the couch. "What about Stephen Grant?"

"I can't very well pass up a fling with an Italian bartender in France," Quinn replied with a shrug. She sat on the arm of the couch. "And it's not like I can date him now, not after how his brother treated you."

Olivia frowned. "Not your circus or your monkeys. I would never ask you to do something like that."

Quinn shook her head. "You didn't ask. It just doesn't feel right, dating my best friend's ex-boyfriend's brother. Besides, we only went on one date."

"What if he's the one, though?" Quinn gave her a severely pointed look and Olivia dropped her eyes to her lap.

XXx

Present Day

"Can I come inside? Just to talk to you. Just for a minute."

Olivia frowned at Fitz, remembering their last conversation in her room. "Do you really think that's such a good idea?"

"Olivia—" She turned away at the sound of his voice as if he'd slapped her and Fitz dropped to his knees without a second thought, crawling to where she stood. He wrapped his arms around her legs and looked up at her dolefully. "Livvie, please…"

Olivia's hands shook as she brushed his disheveled hair. Her body warmed with the touch, and she realized how much she'd missed being near him. She quickly took her hands away and pushed his arms off her. "Just one minute then you're gone."

She turned and went inside, Fitz following quickly. Quinn stood in the kitchen, unpacking the Chinese food while Tom waited awkwardly in the middle of the living room. Quinn looked up at the sound of the door shutting and put down the carton in her hand. "I'll just go unpack."

She quickly disappeared into her room and Tom looked at the estranged lovers before him, unsure of whether he should leave or stay. He had witnessed enough private moments to know they could easily forget his presence—he often thought they could forget the world together—but this seemed like a moment to which he shouldn't be privy. "I'll take my post outside if that's okay with you, sir."

Fitz nodded and Tom left, shutting the door softly behind him. Olivia went to the kitchen to finish unpacking the brown paper bag of food and Fitz sat on the couch. If it weren't for her deliberate refusal to be near him, he could almost imagine it was a normal night for them. He picked up the bundle of letters Quinn had left on the coffee table. His hopes buoyed at the sight of their opened flaps and he turned to look at her. "You read the letters?"

Olivia shook her head, remembering how each day she'd hold a crisp envelope, almost desperate to read his crooked writing, then tell Quinn to throw it away. She wasn't surprised that Quinn had kept them given the way she'd reacted to the first one that had arrived just as they were leaving for the airport.

xXx

March 1964

Olivia stared out the plane's window, swaddled in a large blanket over her gray caftan. Her hair was covered by a brightly printed silk scarf that Quinn had tied into a turban, and sunglasses shielded her eyes from everyone around her. Quinn sat beside her, distractedly reading a novel. She finally put the book down and looked at her boss. "Are you sure you don't want to read the letter? I'll read it to you."

Olivia shook her head, not looking away from the window. "No. There's no reason. There's no us. No future, no country house in Vermont, no big white wedding, no babies, no hope…not anymore."

"Liv, please don't say that. I know he was wrong—so wrong—but he loves you. And you love him. I've seen you two together. You breathe in sync."

At this Olivia turned to look at her. She lifted her sunglasses, revealing her red-rimmed eyes. "Then how could he say that? How could he doubt me? I've never loved anyone so deeply and he broke my heart like it didn't mean anything. What am I supposed to do? Brush it off like he didn't hurt me worse than a drunk father and two ex-husbands combined? And tell me how I do it. Do I pretend he didn't mean it, or that it didn't hurt?"

Quinn bit her lip. "I just think love allows for forgiveness…"

"Why do I always have to forgive? Why am I always the one who gets hurt and the one who has to suck it up and move on? Why can't people look at me and realize I'm just as much flesh and bone as them? That I have just as many feelings and a heart that's just as easily broken?" Her throat burned, and she turned back to the window.

Quinn lifted the armrest between their chairs and scooted closer to hug her friend, resting her head on Olivia's shoulder while Olivia's head rested on the window. She gave her a squeeze. "So darlin' darlin' stand by me/ Oh stand by me—"

"Don't make me have them escort you off the plane," Olivia replied, stopping Quinn's off-key singing, smiling in spite of herself.

Quinn chuckled. "I just didn't want you to cry."

"I think I might be all cried out," Olivia replied.

It didn't take long before the flight put her to sleep. Quinn had always admired the way Olivia could sleep so deeply while flying. She couldn't never do it. Flying still made her antsy even after all the times she'd done it. Listening to Olivia's gentle snore, she took the letter out of her bag and read his crooked left-handed writing on the front before she opened the envelope. She took out the paper and unfolded it.

Dear Livvie,

I'm sorry. I'll never be able to say it enough, but I am. I lost my head. And it's no excuse for what I said, but the idea of other men making you happy—the thought that I might not be the love of your life even though you're the love of mine—is unfathomable. There's nothing in the world for me but you. I would rather die than not be with you. It may not sound like the truth, but it is.

It wouldn't surprise me if you don't read this. I don't deserve any kindness and I know it. But if you do, if there's even a fraction of your heart that still feels for me what my whole heart feels for you, please give me another chance. I don't deserve it. I know that. But I can't live without you. Please don't make me try.

All my love,

Fitz

Quinn refolded the letter then put it in her bag, trying to sniffle quietly, wondering how she would convince Olivia to read it. She looked over at her sleeping friend and frowned at the sadness that creased her face. She hadn't seen Olivia smile for more than a few seconds since that night when the doorbell rang. Her friend had actually bounced in her heels, giddily exclaiming "It's him!"

Olivia frowned as she pretended to sleep, thinking that if she kept her eyes closed long enough, his face would disappear from her thoughts. She could hear Quinn crying softly and she briefly wondered what the letter had said, but she refused to read it.

xXx

Present Day

Olivia watched as he untied the bundle of letters. He looked through them. "I can't believe I wrote you every day for a month. I didn't mean to but… You're the only person I want to talk to every day. When something good happens, when something bad happens, when nothing happens, you're the one I want to talk to."

He shuffled through the letters and Olivia almost smiled at him having to get his reading glasses from his breast pocket so he could read the stamps' dates. He finally picked one out and opened it.

"Dear Livvie,

Mellie and I went to an animal shelter today and now I want a dog. They had the most amazing golden retriever. Her name is Sandy and I think we fell in love. But she already has a new family. I don't think she'll forget me though. I know we agreed on only one dog, but imagine the fun we'd have with three or four. Or ten. Let's not even have babies. Let's not even have kids. We'll just put clothes on the dogs. I hope that thought makes you smile like it made me smile. I miss your smile more than anything in the world.

Forever thinking of you,

Fitz

P.S. I've given up running. Biking just makes me want to die less.

Olivia laughed in spite of herself and Fitz smiled. It seemed like it had been years since he'd heard that sound. He walked to the kitchen and stood before her. "See? It can be like it was. We've just gotta give it a chance to go back."

Olivia's smiled collapsed. "But it can't. You ruined me. I'm ruined."

Fitz frowned. "You're ruined? I'm ruined!"

Olivia scowled at him. "Are you, Mr. President?"

Fitz smirked. "You know you used to sound sexy when you called me that. No it sounds like I'm just a gym teacher. Can you really say you don't miss me?"

"Does it matter?"

"Does it matter?" He held up the bundle of letters. "It's mattered every day for the past year. It's mattered every day for a whole month that I wrote to you and didn't get even the slightest inkling that you cared."

"Did it matter when you called me a whore?"

"I didn't mean that. You know I didn't mean that. I just can't," Fitz sighed, "I can't live with even the possibility that there might be someone else for you when there's no one else in the world for me. And you can be as cold as you want, but I'm not leaving Livvie. You won't drive me away. I'm not going away."

"I don't have to drive you away. You're married. You're the President of the United States. You're away by definition."

"I'll only be those things for a few more months and you know it, Olivia."

"Do I? Tell me how I'm supposed to trust you when you said what you said. I showed you the ugliest parts of me and you threw them in my face. And you know what makes it so awful? That I honestly believed you were different. I wasn't just pushing aside fears. There weren't any fears." Hot tears welled in her eyes but she quickly blinked them away. "And now look at me. I'm ruined. I wait for you. I watch for you. My whole life is you. I can't breathe because I'm waiting for you. You own me. You control me. I belong to you—"

"You own me! You control me! I belong to you! You think I want to be the man I was that night? You think I don't want to be a better man, the kind of man who deserves a woman like you? I love you. I'm in love with you. You're the love of my life. My every feeling is controlled by the look on your face. I can't breathe without you. I can't sleep without you. I wait for you. I watch for you. I exist for you. I'm throwing away the American Dream to run away with you because nothing in this world compares to being with you."

Olivia walked away, keeping her eyes deliberately off him, and went to stand before the row of windows that made up the west wall of her living room. The hairs on the back of her neck stood on end when Fitz came to stand beside her. Her eyes flickered to his reflection. "How can we get past this?"

Fitz sheepishly intertwined their fingers. "I think we want to be together. I think that love, at the end of the day, is stronger than some mistakes somebody made. Something they did that they regret. I think that love allows for forgiveness. Don't you?"

"Yes!" Both their heads snapped in the direction of Quinn's room, having forgotten she was there.

Olivia frowned at her friend's closed door for a moment before she began to laugh, sagging against Fitz who watched her for a moment then laughed himself. He leaned against the window, holding onto her as she shook with giggled in his arms. When her laughed subsided, she wiped her eyes and reached up caress his face. "Oh, I've missed you…"

Fitz held her closer. "I missed you too. I felt so bad last night that I actually prayed you'd forgive me. I guess God owed me a favor after that whole heart attack thing."

"Well I've forgiven you. Now what do we do?"

"Eat. I'm starving."

Olivia laughed and they headed for the kitchen.

xXx

The next morning

Quinn sighed as she turned the radio down. It had only marginally covered the sounds of Olivia and Fitz's reunion. Though she was happy they'd made up, Quinn suddenly remembered how peaceful her sleep in Paris had been, how she hadn't woken up to moaning and soft music in a whole month.

She rolled out of bed and left her room, headed for the kitchen. Her morning's prospects didn't improve when she found the can of coffee empty. She cursed to herself as she went to the refrigerator to retrieve the leftover Chinese food. She could hear Olivia ardently agreeing to whatever Fitz's muffled requests were as she heaped shrimp fried rice onto a plate. She glanced into the living room and wasn't surprised to see Tom sprawled on the couch under an old afghan. She grinned as an idea struck her and she crept over to the couch. She crouched beside his head and leaned in as close as she could, close enough to hear his even breathing.

She opened her mouth to shout "boo" but Tom cut her off, his eyes still closed. "I'll shoot you."

Quinn smirked as she stood. "Well you're no fun."

"I work for the government. Fun is counterintuitive." He rolled off the couch and followed her to the kitchen, plopping into a chair opposite hers.

"For some people anyway." She nodded at Olivia's closed door and Tom laughed.

"Hey what time would you say they…formally reconciled?"

"Well we got here around 6 and the talked for probably an hour. But they ate and took a bath before they…reconnected so maybe 9 or 9:30."

Tom looked at his watch. "It's been 10 hours."

In Olivia's bedroom, she was expressing the same sentiment to Fitz as she lay atop him, raking her fingers through his hair. They had effectively destroyed her neatly made bed and her hairstyle, her curls now fanning out wildly.

Fitz reached back and squeezed her thigh. "Well technically it's been two months and ten hours but I take your point. What should we do now?"

"I can't think of anything that won't lead to sex."

Olivia lay her head down beside his and kissed his temple. Fitz turned his head and kissed her lips, a sated smile on his face. "Hi."

Olivia smiled back, leaning in to rub her nose against his. "Hi."

A/N: Don't forget to review! XOXOXOXO