Author's Note: English is not my natural language, so I'm sorry for any grammatical mistake you may find.
CHAPTER THREE
"Are you still mad?"
The evening meal had started earlier that day, much to his disappointment. Jon had never thought there'd be a time at the Night's Watch where he'd learn to appreciate his duties at the icy footpaths atop the Wall even more than the company of people itself, yet lately he had found himself clutching almost obsessively to those hours of the day. They meant the world to him, at least now he had the certainty that this barrier he had been inclined to built between him and his friends was not going anywhere. Not like his uncle Benjen or Robb for that matter. But sadly, he knew he couldn't stay there for the rest of his life. So, almost like a ritual which never ends he sat again at the common hall. It wasn't strange to have Sam glued to his side the moment the meals where served at the table for the fat boy had been doing the exact same thing since what happened, hoping every time that Jon's answer would sign peace between them.
But each time, he received nothing but silence.
"Look… I'm sorry, alright? I didn't mean to stop you from going after him." Sam continued, miserably.
Jon sighed soundly. He couldn't remember a time when he had been this upset with him but knew deep inside he couldn't blame Sam. His friend wanted nothing to do with the Wall since he first arrived and everything was a vivid proof of that, so what happened with Rast and the others was only a matter of time. Yet, he wished for a moment he wasn't so dependant of him because nothing would bring back the opportunity he had lost.
"Do you think he'll ever forgive me?" Sam asked Pyp, who was next to him at the table.
"He won't if you keep asking the same every two seconds." He replied.
"I'm not mad, Sam." Jon finally spoke, truthfully. "It wasn't your fault anyway."
"I didn't ask for anything that happened that day." He shivered, recalling the white walker's attack. "I can't imagine something worse."
"Seriously? You know we are going Beyond the Wall, right?" Grenn warned and Jon immediately turned his eyes to him.
"Beyond the Wall? Lord Commander gave the order?"
"Yes, Jon. I'm surprised he didn't tell you, you are his steward after all."
"Also, his nightmare when Craster's daughters wives see him." Pyp remarked. "They surely will flip and run away with him and his gallant sword."
"You're just jealous because you're not going."
"So, you're all leaving to Craster's Keep any day from now and I'm supposed to find out about it when Sam kills his first White Walker and sends his bloody legs to fill me in?" Jon began angrily.
"I don't know why you're so upset." Sam gave him a nervous look from the other side, clearly struck by his energetic tone of voice. "You were thinking about turning your back on the Night's Watch to go after Robb."
"BUT I DIDN'T!" He finally lost it, raising his voice as much as he could. "I stayed because it was the right thing to do! I'm here just as much as all of you! And now I'm forced to be left behind, after all I have done and lost for this place."
"Maybe you're in charge of Castle Black while Mormont is not here." Sam tried, hopefully. "Come on Jon. This Craster guy is not the easiest person to deal with and Lord Commander wouldn't want more problems with him than he already has. Besides, you're needed here. You saved us from a White Walker twice so you're clearly the best option to defend The Wall if it happens again."
"Sam is right. Mormont is not stupid, you know? There's too much at stake if your presence there by any chance disturbs this Wilding. Who knows what's going to happen."
"If I'm not fit to deal with a Wilding… then I'm not meant to be in The Night's Watch." He concluded heavily.
"You're leaving so soon, Snow?" Rast mocked from behind, hearing the conversation. "That's too bad. Maybe you should consider staying, after all your father and brother will be joining us too."
All laughs died out when Jon suddenly stood up and left the common hall without a word.
It was already after dark. His eyes were glued to the ceiling of his sleeping cell, for what it seemed like an eternity. He could still hear laughs and cheers from outside like every night around this hour, and just like usual he studied how the wooden floors creaked under footsteps and drunken voices, almost long enough to know what was going on. It seemed everyone here would spend the hours left to the sunrise in Mole Town again. None of them seemed to remember what happened a few days ago, clearly there were more important things to worry about, like girls and brothels. He turned his head and laid his eyes on the spot where usually Ghost slept in, only this time the direwolf wasn't there. Jon was starting to worry because he couldn't remember when he had last seen him, probably two or three days from now. The dark sky was cloaking the upper arc of the window like a call to a hunting night and the message came to him naturally, with a hint of jealousy he knew Ghost was probably enjoying himself out there.
He still ignored how it happened actually, if it had been a second, a minute or a year maybe but suddenly his senses were assailed by everything and nothing at the same time. He was no longer in his sleeping cell instead he felt contact with slick mud, this time the same dark sky was above him engulfing the beginning and end of his way, as the weariness claimed his body from previous running. But nevertheless, he was unafraid. Even if he tried to deny it, his animal instinct was urging him to go forward into the woods, where the scent he had intended to track earlier was culminating. Everything became a silent invitation for him. The scent was guiding him blindly through crusts of snow and low breeches like fire casting the shadows away. He had never felt so attracted to a hunt before so he gave his life to it, quietly letting the wolf take over and driving the last drops of the man he was away. Finally, he heard whispers breaking the silence and felt his vital signs more alive than ever when the scent pulled him vividly one last time.
"You're still mad about it, aren't you? Just try not to sulk too much when we are here, Grey Wind. If we get in trouble I'll blame it all on you."
The voice hit him and he made his way through the trees, approaching with a vigilant pace until he reached a clearing. The first thing he saw was Robb's auburn curls before a fire and Grey Wind was there too coiling up against him, just a few feet away from where he was.
"I don't know if it was the right thing to do, but I had to do it." He heard Robb telling the direwolf but he sounded tense and filled with regret.
Grey Wind did a disappointed grunt and Robb diverted his eyes from the fire.
"But you're right. I should've told him everything." He muttered, barely. "I should've told him about the sword and about… this. Even though, I don't know if he'll believe me."
"Tell me about what?" Jon wanted to ask.
"Well it doesn't matter now, right? When the time comes he will find out on his own, just like I did. I just hope it's not too late for that."
A rush of adrenaline suffocated him and he fought the urge to run out of his hiding place and reveal himself but he couldn't. Even if every part of his body was pulling him onward to his brother and in a way releasing him from that last day when they had separated at the training yard, he couldn't find his strength to move.
"We better get going." Robb warned, already on his feet. "The sun is rising and we are supposed to meet with Lord Umber's party from the Last Hearth."
"Wait!" he screamed in his mind but Robb couldn't hear him.
"Jon! Jon! Wake up!"
His eyes opened widely. Sam's face was over him, discerning completely with everything he had just seen, but his concern was convincing enough for Jon to understand he was back in his human form and in his room at Castle Black.
"Lord Commander is asking for you." He told him briefly. "Were you having those dreams again?"
Jon only stared at him absentmindedly, still resenting being pulled out of his other existence. This time everything had felt so real that now he could hardly trust the four walls closing over him, the softness of the bed or even his friend's nervous tone but he tried his best to remain neutral while drifting some ringlets of hair away from his damp face. He was aware now it wasn't a dream at all, he was creating these stages of life along with Ghost as only one being and just like before, antagonize it wasn't something he could do when coming this far. All this had a purpose, he was certain of it, but he wasn't sure exactly what it was yet.
But as much pleased as he was with this connection, still there was something bothering him. Robb's words were echoing inside his head with every step he made as he headed to the King's Tower, taking Longclaw with him. What did he mean with telling him everything? What exactly did he have to find out on his own? A slight memory captured his eyes, taking him back to the day when he confronted Robb about sending Grey Wind to the East Watch and he stopped at once. Could Robb do the same with Grey Wind? This was the thing he wanted to confess to him?
"You wanted to see me, my Lord?" he greeted Lord Commander Mormont as he opened the door and slid inside the chambers.
"I'm glad you're carrying the sword with you, Snow." He glared at him from his window seat. "Seat down. There's something I need to tell you."
Jon obligated, still unaware of what was it. The Old Bear faced him and he could tell how many sleepless nights his old eyes concealed, as if something was keeping him awake more time than he would've liked.
"I take it your brother hasn't mentioned anything of what we discussed last time he was here, right?"
"He didn't." Jon answered, with a hint of resentment.
"Well, don't be upset. I didn't want him to tell you because I didn't agree with him, but now… Well, he wasn't so mistaken, after all. He told me how you killed the white walker, with fire just like Othor but even if we didn't suffer any losses thanks to that I cannot say it's something that comforts me. We don't know what's out there beyond The Wall or if these dead creatures will attack again and we can't rely on fire when the times comes. We have to think of something else to fight them…"
Jon watched him carefully, his eyes matching the flames of the hearth.
"Lord Stark told me how the white walker weakened after you stabbed him with your sword." Mormont concluded, with a heavy voice. "I sent a raven to our friends at the Shadow Tower, to Quorin Halfhand, and they also confirmed this to me. Only Valyrian steel is effective on them and we need to use this if we intend to win this war."
He stood up and walked to the fire, with a watchful expression.
"But Valyrian swords are…"
"You have one." He prompted. "But most of them are lost and no men have ever seen one in at least a hundred years. However, Longclaw is not the only Valyrian sword we know of. It has a sister which is currently in King's Landing under the possession of the King himself."
"Ice." Jon thought instantly. "So, that's what Robb meant when he mentioned a sword."
"The sword is my father's. And if he is under arrest in King's Landing then…"
"I know but there is no other choice for us. We need this sword and we only receive empty words from King's Landing." He declared. "I don't intent to come between Lord Eddard and his judgment, as I said before the Night's Watch takes no part in what happens at the Seven Kingdoms, but the King must assist us with proper weaponry for his own good and this is something we can't leave unattended."
At this point, Jon couldn't think of a time when he had agreed more with the Old Bear but he remained quiet.
"We are not safe here. The Long Night is coming and dead creatures with it. It's time for us to stand but I don't plan to send my people to die if I can't give them something to protect themselves with. Longclaw and Ice are northern swords, built to protect northern people… and built to be wielded by Eddard Stark's boys. You and your brother saved us from white walkers, that's something I won't easily forget and I've seen enough in my life to refuse to see what's in front of me now."
"I don't understand. I'm a brother of the Night's Watch. I did my vows…"
"You did your vows, Snow… but you were in your direwolf's skin when your body kneeled." Mormont smiled and Jon suddenly went pale. "You thought you could hide that from me much longer? I know what you are… you are a warg and that's an uncommon gift, but as I said before I've seen enough in my life and I know this only means I have something or someone to place my faith in. It is said that the Old Gods walked with the Stark's through your direwolves and now I'm finally privileged enough to see it after so long."
"Robb is a warg too?" He asked, still distrustful.
"Why don't you ask him yourself?" The Old Bear conceded and he blinked.
"So this means…"
"I want you to go with him to King's Landing, Jon Snow… and bring the sword here." Mormont's eyes pierced trough him and his solemn voice finally gave him what he wanted to hear for so long. "I want to see one last time… if wolves run faster than lions. Would you do that for me?"
Jon smiled and his hand unconsciously clutched the pommel of his sword in anticipation. This is what he was waiting for all of his life.
"Yes, Lord Commander."