"Come in" Tori said faintly.
The secret that she was so eager to find out for weeks was now the one thing she feared the most. Closing the door, she turned around to see her boyfriend running his right hand through his hair, probably contemplating on how he was going to best reveal things to her.
His thoughts ravaged his stability, he didn't even think to take a seat until he saw Tori sit in the couch with both feet crossed in her lap. She reached for and clutched a pillow, patiently yet impatiently waiting for Andre to say something.
"Look, Tori, I don't even know how to put this to you." He started.
"You didn't know how to put it to me for the past 3 weeks either" she said pointedly.
He sighed, " Well I'll just come out and say it, but before I do, its important that you know that I would never do anything to hurt you purposefully."
She remained silent. It was the same silence she held in the car ride from the full moon jam the night they broke up. However, this time her eyes held onto his.
If he could read her eyes as much as she could read his, he could tell that she was prepared to get hurt but was hoping that it wasn't the case.
"I just may have gotten a girl pregnant" he forced out. "It's not Selena, I mean I doubt that even matters but yeah."
Tori's head dipped downward for about 2 seconds, but when she lifted it back up, a soft smile was painted on her lips. It definitely wasn't a smile of satisfaction. The smile eventually turned into a light chuckle, and in that brief moment before she spoke, Andre caught a glimpse of the hurt in her eyes before she masked it with a bitter attitude.
"Wooww, you just may have gotten a girl pregnant." she repeated with a sense of pretentious surprise. "Translation: 'I just MAY HAVE actually cheated on you this time, and there's proof to go with it'. Great Andre, just great." she stood up.
" I don't even know how or why this is happening but ever since we got back together I haven't been with anyone else, I promise you that." He confessed to Tori, his hand reaching for hers in a pleading fashion.
" Do not touch me, Andre." she flinched and stepped away from him. In that moment he saw her eyes beginning to shimmer. He clenched his jaw before becoming angry with himself.
"Tori, please don't shut me out. I'm being honest with you!" He said passionately.
"Honest with me?" She laughed as her eyes continued to rise in water content.
" You're being honest alright. You're honestly telling me that there's some girl out there that you've been having sex with and that you just MAY BE the father of her child. And I don't know, you're telling me maybe 3 weeks after you found out? Am I supposed happy about this? Elated? If so we can run through this entire moment again and I'll try to accommodate your expectations!"
"Tori, I don't expect you to be happy about this, if anything I can understand if u want to hate me because of it. Really, I just want you to understand that this happened before you and me, and it's not certain yet." he explained easing his way closer to her without her noticing.
"What do you mean it isn't certain yet?" she questioned, already exhausted by the topic.
"I mean that she nor do I know if I'm the father. When we...did it together, it was in May, we were both drunk. So, she isn't exactly sure who the father is, she just making guesses and assumes that it's me." his eyes held onto hers, and he watched them soften. That was until she broke the gaze and looked away. The beautiful thing about them was that they were each other's weakness. However, Tori being aware of this, wasn't about to let the same eyes that told her they loved her many times, to sway her from the feeling of hurt and regret.
"And what do you assume?" She asked blankly, remaining loyal to her mask of bitterness and anger.
"I assume..." he began. "Well, honestly, I don't know what to assume. I think I was protected, but I can't remember a thing. It's really only an accusation. I'm getting the test results on Wednesday, so we'll see then."
"How could you be so stupid" she said with a shaky voice, lightly punching his chest, finally letting her walls down. The tears fell, and he gripped her into a tight hug. This was not only motivated by his instinct to comfort her, but also because he couldn't bare to look at her in the face knowing he was the cause of her hurt...again.
In his head, he had become the same guys that he hated. Steven, Ryder, the list goes on. Although, he knew he could be better for her or at least thought he could, he felt as if he wasn't. They made her cry, and he was standing there doing the same thing.
She deserved better than him, he thought to himself as he held her in his arms.
"Tori.." He began before she cut him off.
"No, don't say anything" she said, settled in his arms regaining her composure.
/The following day/ at lunch/
"So, let's see. Lane calling him to his office yesterday, that was because of the girl he got pregnant? Cat asked, still trying to understand what was going on.
"Yeah, basically." Tori sighed
"What a dick." Jade bluntly stated. "No pun intended."
Cat then commented "Well I mean, he said it was before you guys got back together..so that has to count for something." trying to be optimistic.
"How far is she?" Jade asked.
"What? I don't know where she lives. You can't be plotting to attack a pregnant girl. Thats just wrong" an appalled Tori expressed.
"I don't mean her location, Tori." She rolled her eyes at the brunette, "I mean how far in the pregnancy is she?"
"Oh." she chuckled lightly " I don't know ." she said nervously.
"Wow, I think that's sort of a need to know basis." The blue eyed girl said, stressing the obvious.
"Ok ok, yes it is. So much was going on that night, I didn't even think to ask." Tori said, starting to play with her salad.
" We eat our food, not play with it." Beck said to Tori with a smile, before kissing Jade on the cheek from behind.
This made Tori smile faintly.
"Hey babe, we were just talking about you" Jade sparked his interest.
Slightly confused he answered " Oh really? What for?"
" Oh I don't know" she lead on " I mean every guy has a saga of being a total douche, so it's fair enough for me to say all of you are the same...even when we talk about Robbie, Sinjin, Andreee" she stressed his name.
Beck immediately picked up what Jade was hinting at. He smiled nervously and began to pick up his food in attempt to leave, but Jade held down his food tray forcing him to sit.
"Umm, hi" he said awkwardly.
"It's fine Beck, he already told me" Tori said trying to ease the tension.
"Oh, he did? I'm sorry Tori" he said relieved and genuine.
"It's fine, I get it." she said playing victim "If Jade was cheating you I wouldn't have told you either" a teasing smile played on her lips as she sipped her smoothie.
"Hey that's different...Andre wasn't cheating on you" he defended.
"He may as well had! Around that time, he and I were still trying to pull or relationship back together" she answered, revealing that she felt betrayed by Andre's irresponsibility. However, in her head she knew that Beck and Cat had a point; a point that he didn't actually cheat on her. But for her, it felt like he did.
Maybe it was because of Steven cheating on her, or Ryder using her, but because of her past experiences, she simply was hurt by the thought of someone she loves actually betraying her.
"Hey guys" Robbie said approaching the table with Andre, "Hey" he echoed.
"And a special hey to my lady in red" Robbie added before giving Cat a quick peck on the lips, taking a seat beside her.
Andre sat beside Robbie, trying to ignore the fact that he didn't feel the courage to do the same to Tori.
The table fell silent, signaling that everyone felt the awkward distance.
Jade wasted no time on breaking it, "So Andre, who's the lucky girl?" she teased with a mischievous smirk.
"Jade" Tori said almost in a dry pleading manner.
"What? I'm sure everyone wants to know" she defended.
"Her name's Lauren" he sighed, knowing there was no way around it. He then gave his attention to the spaghetti before him, attempting to swivel the strands of noodle on the fork. Just before he was about to put it in his mouth, Jade interrupted.
" And how long did you know her prior to that eventful night?" She continued to probe, trying to get under his skin of course. She knew Andre since the 7th grade, and because of this she knew just how to push his buttons.
He paused, and responded annoyed yet shamefully "I met her that night, at the party". Following which, he took a bite of his food. Timing him perfectly, as he took a swig of his water Jade asked quickly "So was it good?".
This caused him to choke. He stood up. As he lightly coughed and dabbed his face with a napkin he said to her "umm, can we talk?" obviously irritated.
She smirked "We're talking now, with all of our friends".
"In private!" He said. She succumbed with an eye roll before getting up and following him.
They eventually found themselves in the theatre.
-.-
"What's your deal? Why are you carrying me so hard out there?" He asked immediately as they walked inside.
"What's my deal? A better question would be whats yours? You're the one with the girl drama! Twice Andre, literally twice. What does Tori mean to you?"
Those words left a pang in his chest. He knew that if Jade was bold enough to ask, 9/10 it was what Tori was asking herself.
The fact that it was even a question got to him.
"Don't do that. You know what she means to me. I don't want to hurt her, I never wanted that!" he responded getting caught up in his emotions.
"You're saying one thing yet doing another Dré. How does that work exactly?" Jade threw back at him. " I don't want to hurt her" she mocked him, "precisely a few days later, you hurt her. Then, you guys break up for 2 months, get back together, and you once again say 'I don't want to hurt her'. Yet here we are again. Do you see a trend? Because I do."
"Both the last time and this time are strange situations! I never cheated on her, but both scenarios hint that I did or prove that I have the potential to do so. It's unlucky if you ask me, and a little unfair for you to be this angry with me." he continued to defend. He ran his hand through his hair and started to pace.
Jade sighed at the intensity of their "conversation". "Look Andre, at the end of the day this isn't between you and me, it's between you and Tori. All I'm saying here is that if you can't keep things peaceably together between the both of you, then maybe you should look into that." He looked down and sighed before looking back up at his friend.
"Trust me, I have been. Since the moment I told her." The brown-eyed boy confessed.
"I do believe that you love her" she added "but at a certain point, you realize that in love there are just some things you don't mess with. It's like you, as the guy, gain the responsibility of being responsible for her. Naturally, you've taken up a part of that responsibility from the moment you met her. Hence, you always had her best interest at heart. But the other part of that responsibility is you making responsible decisions to avoid ...something like this."
He fell silent, soaking up her words. Jade was pretty wise for her age, almost as if she had an old soul. Beyond her frequent sarcastic attitude and witty remarks, at her core was something a little different.
"That's all I'm trying to say" she concluded before making her way to the door.
He always heard Beck talk about it, and rarely he'd experience it himself. But every time that he lived through one of those rare moments, it felt as if it were the first. She was right, and he knew it.
"And I appreciate that" he said just as she opened the door to leave.
"I know you do" she smirked at him, and made her exit.
-/-
The bell rang for school to be done for the day. Students flooded the hallways making their way to the exit. Minute by minute, the area became less crowded.
Tori stood at her locker. There, she was trying to exchange books that she would and wouldn't need to take home. As her mind went on the project she had due for the following week, she saw Andre approaching from her peripheral. It was obvious, seeing that he was going in the opposite direction of the crowd.
"Hey" he said forcing a smile.
"Hi, where've you been all day?" She asked, eyes still locked on the task before her. As she closed the locker he answered.
"Had to work on the play's soundtrack during my free period, so that kinda stole my time" he explained rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "How've you been?" he asked, trying to see where her head was at.
She began walking and so did he. " I've been ok, I should be asking you that. You know, with everything going on .." she implied.
He chuckled lightly " I could be better, a little nervous about tomorrow but even more so I've been worrying about you."
"About me? For what?" she asked pretending to be oblivious to what he was referring to. They stood by her car for the duration of the conversation.
"Don't do that, you know why. I'm sure what's going on with me, is affecting you much more than you're letting on." he reasoned. Her eyes stood still looking at him.
" I'm fine" she said shrugging her shoulders, but it wasn't believable.
Tori then turned around and began to open the car door in attempts to avoid the conversation. However, Andre with great speed immediately directed his left hand to hold it shut. At that moment her back remained turned to him.
"Are you happy Tori?" he questioned direly, desperate for an honest response.
She then turned around. For a few seconds, she looked him dead in the eye before saying "I'm happy enough". In that moment he realized that she wasn't herself, or at least got confirmation that she wasn't.
A still silence fell between them. And as Tori wanted, he let her win. Andre leaned in and held a kiss on her forehead, his eyes closed while doing so. And even with the nonchalant façade Tori had going, although Andre didn't see it, she closed her eyes too.
They both got something from that moment. For Andre, it was him giving in to the desire to love her and to fix things. But knowing that he wasn't deserving of it, he settled for the kiss on her hairline. And for Tori, it was the quenching of the desire to feel the love he always showed her. Although wanting to reject it, she was too emotionally exhausted to fight her heart.
Afterwards, he sighed and opened the car door for her, having so much more yet nothing left to say. After she entered, he closed it and watched her drive away.
In that moment of silence, more was said between them than when they were actually speaking.
-/
Updated quicker than usual. Two claps for me? :) Hope you guys appreciate this one. As usual, thank you for the support, consistency, and kind words. You know who you are.
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