Alex's pov

"Edward" I whispered as I pulled him to face me. Watching him turn his back to me overwhelmed me with such pain. I couldn't understand it but I didn't pay much attention to the confusion. I couldn't let go of him just yet I needed to have his friendship for if I didn't I would most definitely lose my sanity.

"You won't stop being my friend will you? You'll still be my friend wont you?" Some instinct, I believe, told me that he understood me better than anyone else. He was exactly what I needed someone that could understand what I was going through. someone that would have patience with me and never give up on me. That was the kind of friend I needed, that was the kind of friend Edward was.

He seemed surprised by my question. He looked at me for a long time like he was thinking many things over at the same time. After a bit his expression softened and I felt myself breathe again.

"I'll never leave you alex" he promised I couldn't quite understand what had changed in his expression but it was something that made me feel…safe…safe from myself. For the first time since cedric died I was able to smile effortlessly. It was a real smile and it felt somehow…liberating…

I'm sure he noticed that too because his face broke out into a lovely crooked smile…it was…dazzling…I'm positive I had never seen him smile like that, it was beautiful. This was the closest I could possibly get to being happy so I couldn't help it when I wrapped my arms around him. It felt like hugging a stone but he felt warm and smelled amazing. It was unlike anything I had ever smelled.

I felt him stiffen in my arms, and I became afraid that I might have done something to upset him. maybe I went out of line by the gesture. I looked up at him and saw that he was turning his head far away from me but his eyes were still looking in my direction.

He wasn't breathing.

"I'm sorry" I said as I let go of him. He seemed to loosen up once I had let go of him.

"don't be" he said apologetically "it caught me off guard…and you have a very nice scent... I'll explain some other time" he said giving me an apologetic smile. That sentence brought a sense of relief to me. He was planning to talk to me again then.

"Come on my brothers getting impatient" he said grinning, I smiled at him. But just how impatient was his brother?

We walked to the door and Edward opened it to reveal a grinning Emmett.

Oh yeah he looked impatient.

"hello Edward and alex, you guys ditching?" Emmett said as his eyes widened in fake shock.

"What's it to you Emmett" I said grinning back. It had been a while since I had actually felt somewhat happy.

"I like you" he responded approvingly.

"Good to know" I said, and then I turned my attention to Edwards Audi. Jasper Alice and Rosalie were in it. Both Rosalie and jasper seemed tense. Alice on the other hand seemed perfectly calm.

"so" said Edward breaking me out of my thoughts " I'll see you tomorrow" he said.

"yes" I said nodding.

"sooo" interrupted Emmett "witch huh?" he said.

Way to keep the secret Edward.

I turned to Edward and he gave an apologetic look.

"It's hard to keep secrets in the family" he explained. Well I guess I can understand that. I just shudder to think of the trouble I'm going to be in if anyone finds out that someone found out that I'm a witch.

"Right" I said. Wait why should anyone find out that the Cullen's know? This is just between them and me. "but I can count on you guys to keep my secret right? All of you guys?"

"Yes you can" Edward assured me "and can we count on you not to say anything to anyone?" he asked.

"Yes you can" I promised him.

"Cool" said Emmett "now if you excuse us we need to get going"

I felt my stomach hurt when he said this. I really didn't want Edward to leave just yet. God knows what stupidities I can do.

"Bye alex" Edward said and the words hurt though I knew I would see him tomorrow.

"Bye guys" I said as calmly a I could manage.

Then they both turned around and gracefully walked down the porch steps. Sooner than possible they were already getting into the car.

I felt my hair grow longer and I saw it get darker. Dread filled me then that familiar depression came back full force. As their car left I turned and went inside the house. I walked to my room and laid down on the bed looking at the picture on my bedside table. It was hard to believe that the girl in that picture had once been me. Though I knew I had once been very happy I felt like I couldn't quite remember what it had felt like. The two people that gazed at each other in that picture seemed to be from another world one that wasn't as dark as the hole I was living in. a world i didnt belong to, one that i didnt deserve.

It could have been hours that passed. I wouldn't know, I only know that all the while I was looking at the picture and wishing so bad that I could be dead. I didn't even trust myself to move an inch for fear that moving would make me do something...something i would regret. after all it wasnt my time yet.

"Alex?" I heard Frankie call me.

"Up here" I answered loud enough for him to hear me, a few minutes later he was knocking on my door.

"Come in" I grunted.

"how are you?" he asked as he came to sit next to me on the bed.

"Fine" I muttered.

"How was your day?" he asked.

"Meh" I said without looking away from the picture.

"Well if it was that good then you deserve a day of lessons" he joked

"Fabulous" I said as I got up and followed him to the back yard so we could begin the days lessons…

Edwards pov

I was laying on my bed listening to some music. Something I did very often, but in my head is where I was drowning in thoughts.

I hadn't been this happy in a hundred years and neither had my family.

Was this wrong?

It had to be wrong after all how many times had I told Bella that t she would be the only woman in my life.

Though I was happy I also felt grief for my deceased wife. I wasn't sure what to do because I still loved Bella no matter what. She would always be something special to me. But I needed Alex; I couldn't imagine a life without her anymore.

Was I betraying Bella?

"Edward" called esme breaking me out of my thoughts.

"Come in" I murmured without moving. Suddenly she was sitting next to me.

"How are you doing" she said softly as she stroked my hair.

"I'm so lost mom" I whispered.

"I can only imagine sweetheart" she murmured I closed my eyes as she continued to stroke my hair softly.

We were in silence for a while. I didn't want to invade de her thoughts so I just focused in my own thoughts.

"There is a reason for why bella asked you not to kill yourself you know?" she said suddenly.

"Is there?" I whispered.

"Maybe she knew that you had more ahead of you."

I had nothing to say to that.

"Do what you think is right" she said "but I know Bella would have understood Edward. Bella would have wanted you to be happy. She wouldn't have asked you to stay alive unless she had known that someday you would be happy again. She would have wanted this for you" with that my mother stood up and gave me a light kiss on the cheek.

"I love you my son" she whispered in my ear "and I want you to be happy. Choose what makes you happy Edward" she said and then she was out of the room.

She was right. Bella would have wanted me to be happy. She would understand that I need Alex so much, without her I would surely die. I couldn't live without her, I needed her so desperately. She was like my lifeline, I didn't know if she returned the feelings, I don't think she does but I would keep her as a friend if I had to. I just needed her in my life, I loved her with such a force that I didn't know I had it in me. Though I loved Bella deeply…it was different with Alex. I think that what made it different was that I had been so depressed for so long for the loss of my wife that when I met Alex I had so desperately wanted to relieve myself of that pain. Alex helped me through it she healed the cuts and I needed her now more than ever.

I know understood Bella's feelings toward Jacob.

I got up from my bed in a flash and was at the living room in a second

"What's up bro?" said Emmett looking away from the TV screen

"I'm going out" I informed all of them. I saw as a slow smile spread on Esme's lips.

I knew you would do the right thing son she thought and I knew that now she was truly happy. I didn't know if this was the right thing but I didn't want to think about that at the moment. Right now there was someone I wanted to see so badly.

"Say hi to alex for me" Emmett said chuckling "though she is probably asleep by now what time is it?" I didn't stay any longer. I was itching to see her, I hadn't done this in so long and truth be told I loved the feeling. I loved knowing that soon I would be watching the new reason for my existence, sleep. I was slowly realizing how much I really loved her, it still seemed so unreal, she seemed unreal all of a sudden.

I ran as fast as my legs could carry me to her house. It was relatively close to my home, so I was there in four minutes, running of course. I went around to the back of the house where their yard was. If you could call it a yard it looked more like a small forest.

I really wasn't sure which was he room but decided to first make sure I was in control of myself, for I knew that what I was doing was risky. My presence put her in danger; I knew that, so I had to be very careful.

I turned my head to the direction of one of the windows on the second floor, and I sniffed the air. I could smell her scent but it wasn't very strong. I turned my head to the other direction and upon smelling the air I was met with her intoxicating sweet scent. The smell was stronger on that side. I quickly climbed the tree that was conveniently situated right next to a balcony. Once I had climbed on the balcony I was sure that this was her room. Her scent was the strongest here. I looked through one of the French doors of the balcony and I saw a small bundle curled up on the far left side of the bed.

Hoping that the door wasn't closed I turned the door handle. The door opened smoothly and without a sound. This was much easier than the first time I did this. Before entering the warm room I made sure I was still in perfect control of myself. Then I entered the room and slowly and quietly closed the door behind me.

And there she was.

I could hear her slow even breathing. I could see the slow movement of her breathing under the sheets. I could smell her scent in every inch of the room. I was well aware that not only was this dangerous but it wasn't moraly correct. I should be repulsed by my actions yet I couldn't bring myself to do so. The only feeling inside of me was satisfaction, because I could see her and be close to her.

Her room was big and tidy. Her desk was the only thing that was disorganized. There were big books filling it and what seemed like parchment and ink bottles on it. I got closer to the desk to read the tittles of her books. One of them read the standard book of spells grade 5 another one read defensive magical theory. I wasnt able to read the rest since they were all opened. A laptop was on top of all the books, closed and turned off. I went to the other side of the room to look at what was on the shelves on t he wall. There were a couple other books and some cd's along with and expensive cd player and an ihome.

I studied her room taking in all of my surroundings. Then my eyes fell upon the tiny lump on the big bed. She turned around and readjusted herself into a fetal position. The moonlight hit her face and it made her look ghostly, almost translucent.

She truly was beautiful, though her features were gaunt; it had no effect upon her beauty. She wasn't sleeping peacefully. She had a frown that seemed like it was etched into her skin. There was a movement next to her that caught my attention. I looked at her bedside table and saw two wooden sticks resting side by side. But that was not the source that caught my attention. It was the picture that rested in a picture frame. Only it wasn't you're average picture. The two people in it were moving.

Without thinking I walked closer towards the picture, closer to Alex…

I took the picture frame in my hand and examined the picture. There were two people in it and I had seen both of them before. One of them was Alex, though I still couldn't really believe it was her. She seemed so distinct from the Alex that I knew. She was happy and even more beautiful than she is now, if that's even possible. If Rosalie was a beauty, then she was nothing compared to Alex.

She was wearing silver robes and looked like she was glowing with happiness. She was still very thin but not skeletal, she looked healthy. Her features weren't gaunt, but happy. Her eyes were…they looked so green that it seemed like they were glowing. They were beautifully framed by her thick, dark, eyelashes. There were still dark shadows under her eyes but they only made her green eyes look more amazing. Her hair was blood red, redder than she had it now.

Holding her was the boy I had seen in, what I believe was one of her memories. He was tall and clad in black robes. He had sharp features, high cheekbones and gray eyes. with light brown tousled hair. He was good looking and seemed to be about seventeen years old. He held Alex by her waist and they were both looking at each other. Then they turned towards the camera and waved in my direction both smiling hugely. It wasn't hard to see that t they were both deeply in love with each other. By the way they looked at each other….

it was the couple of perfection.

Then the boy leaned down towards her and placed his lips on hers, as she wrapped her arms around his neck. I couldn't help but feel the jealousy that I felt. I wanted so bad to make her happy, just like he was doing. i wanted to be the one holding her. the one she looked at so adoringly.I wanted her to be mine and no one else's.

I looked at the sleeping Alex. Her frown had disappeared and she seemed very calm and relaxed. Her hair wasn't the short spiky red hair I was used to. It was long straight and black.

Quietly I put the picture frame down on the bedside table and then I turned and without thinking I leaned towards her and stroked her cheekbone.

Everything around me dissolved, then. It all became a blur and nothing seemed clear. Then after some seconds everything seemed to settle down again. But I wasn't in Alex's room anymore. I was in a forest. It all seemed grey and cold.

Then I saw two figures. One of them was sitting on the ground, leaning against a tree. The other figure was sitting on the lap of the other figure. It was hard to see, even for me, there was so much fog.

I walked closer to the two figures. I knew that they wouldn't see me. This was just like the last time.

They came into view and I realized who it was. The person sitting on the floor was the boy from the picture the boy from her other memories. The figure sitting on his lap was alex. He cradled her in her arms as if she were a child, while she hid her face in his chest and quietly sobbed.

"I miss you so much" she whispered.

"I know beautiful" he murmured. He wrapped his arms around her tightly.

"Why did you leave me?" she whispered in between sobs. It hurt to see her like this, she seemed so broken. I felt so useless just standing there.

He didn't answer

I was too busy looking at Alex to see that there was something different. But I followed Alex's gaze as she looked up at him.

Except that wasn't him anymore.

It was me.

As soon as she saw that it was me holding her she gasped and jumped back, falling to the ground.

"Don't be afraid" purred the other me.

She was dreaming all of this…

"You're not Cedric" she whispered. Her face twisted into a mask of pure agony.

Then everything around me blurred and after a few seconds I was back in her room.

I saw her stir and I quickly went back into the shadows of her room where she would not see me, and held my breath.

She woke up gasping, and she was sitting in a flash. She was sweating, I noticed, and her breath came out in short uneven gasps.

She closed her eyes and covered her ears; she stayed like that for some time. It was then that I noticed that it had begun raining.

The thunder seemed to bring her back from her thoughts. Her eyes snapped open and she looked out the doors and looked at the rain.

Slowly she got out of her bed and walked over to the French doors.

If I had been in pain when I saw her sobbing into Cedric's chest then it was nothing compared to how I felt when she said that I wasn't him. Her expression had been accusing, like she blamed me for her pain. Could a dead heart break? It felt like mine would.

for the first time in my existence i wished i could be him instead of me.

"It's raining Cedric" she whispered, never tearing her eyes away from the rain.

Ever so slowly s he opened the door and walked out to the balcony and into the rainy night.

I wanted her to be happy, I wanted to help her get rid of those feelings she carried with her. But suddenly I inquired myself. Could she be fixed?

Would she ever be happy?

I love her but I can't think of her ever being with me. I knew the feelings weren't mutual. She could never see me as someone worthy of love. Though the knowledge made my heart drop, I knew that if this was what was best for her then I would gladly have her as a friend. Though I knew I would always want more, I was strong enough to never ask more than friendship from her.

"Can you hear me now?" she called out to the sky, yet she didn't seem crazy. Not in my eyes. When I lost Bella I had constantly found myself talking to no one. I did it because it made me feel like she was still here somehow. Yet the silence that followed after my sentences had always painfully brought me back to reality. It only made my state worse. That is what it was doing to Alex; it was only making matters for her worse.

Now I understood the reason behind her pain. It was the boy-Cedric- that was causing her all of this pain. What he did to make her suffer like this? I could not imagine. Judging from her dream he left her. But I could not form any assumptions just yet.

How I longed to be able to comfort her, to help her through this pain. Though I had my family with me when Bella died I had always felt alone. Because there was no one that could really understand me. Whatever this boy had done to her, I did not want her to go through the pain alone like I had.

I continued observing her as she looked up at the sky, completely drenched.

"It's so cold tonight" she whispered. Her voice was soft like smooth velvet but it dripped with sadness. Sadness that I don't think any other human has ever experienced. It is sadness so deep, a sadness that I have lived with for a hundred years. I don't even think that it could be categorized as sadness.

Whatever traces of happiness she had this afternoon, it was long gone. There was the Alex I had met.

Unable to do anything else I just observed her. All the while she quietly mumbled words to herself. Trying to comfort herself perhaps. As I watched her I took in her scent. Trying to overcome the pain that surged in my throat, taming that monster in me. It was satisfying to know that her smell seemed to be more bearable.

"Goodnight ced" she whispered into the night, and then she began to walk into her room. I stepped back until my back touched the wall. If she turned on the lamp I would be caught. Now I decided to feel ashamed of myself for being in her room. So much for being a gentleman.

It was my night of luck, apparently. For she walked straight to her closet grabbed some dry clothes and then walked to her bathroom without even turning on the light. Once she was in the bathroom I grabbed my opportunity and quickly strode out of her room.

It wouldn't be long until I saw her again. It was already four in the morning.

And yet three more hours seemed like an eternity to me…

okay guys lets see if you guys can notice whi ch quotes i took from stephenie meyers midnight sun storie

you know what i dont care if you review anymore

but there you have it i liked this chapter

-airali