Fortunately, Skye isn't as tired as she thought she'd be after two weeks of training. Years of climbing trees and racing through fields have strengthened her muscles and endurance far more than the studying or debates that the Erudite and Candor value. For her, the hardest part is not the physical challenges; it's the mental aspects. Her first fight, she went down almost immediately because she couldn't bring herself to hit her opponent. When she finally recovered, she saw May shaking her head. Leo was the only one to help her up, the one who ran to get tissues for her bloody nose.
"How are you holding up?" she asks him as they wait for the matches of the day to be listed.
"All right. Better than you."
"No, you're not. I'm totally stronger."
"No. I mean, you are, but that's not what I meant. You don't like hitting people."
"And you do?" she asks, surprised.
"No, of course not." He seems a bit insulted by the question. "But it's what I have to do, right? To get into Dauntless."
He's right, and she knows it. The last time rankings were posted, he was fifth from the bottom among the transfers. According to May, the lowest five initiates will be cut and sent off to be factionless. If even one of the Dauntless-born scores lower than Leo, he'll make the cut and make it into the next stage of initiation.
Skye, on the other hand? She's solidly at the bottom of the list.
Leo nudges her and whispers "Good luck" in her ear. May has just posted the pairings for the day's fights. Skye is paired against Riley, a Candor boy who is near the top of the list. Skye hasn't had any dealings with him, but he has kind eyes and an easy smile.
His eyes, she discovers, look less kind when seen from below after he swipes her legs out from under her. She jumps to her feet again, her pride hurt worse than her body.
It's what I have to do, right? To get into Dauntless. Leo's words echo in her mind, and she resolves herself to do what is necessary. She strikes a kick at Riley's knee. It's the first time she's ever hit anyone with all of her strength, and the blow takes her aback. But it's apparent that Riley is even more shocked than she is. He takes a swing at her, but she ducks and his arm goes over her head. Before he can respond, she jabs her elbow into his torso, and she's shocked to hear a snap! Riley cries out and falls to the floor.
She stands over him, proud of her victory yet slightly disgusted with herself. "I'm done, right?" she asks May. "I've won."
May shakes her head. "You haven't won until he can no longer continue."
"But he's down," Skye argues. "In a real fight, he'd be done."
"In a real fight," May counters, "you'd finish him."
Skye understands what May is asking, but she wants to believe she's wrong. "But…I don't want to."
"Why not?" May strides up to the edge of the ring. "Are you scared?"
In Amity, the correct answer is yes. Yes, I'm scared to make another person hurt. Yes, I'm scared that I will lose a friend. A person who admits fear will be comforted, reassured, protected. But here, that question is a dare, a challenge, a threat.
Skye makes eye contact with May. She doesn't say a word. Her answer comes in the form of her knee, crashing into Riley's face. She hears the sound of another bone breaking, and Riley collapses to the floor. Skye turns from her fallen opponent and walks past May. Her voice is soft enough that only the leader can hear her response: "No."
Riley was a high-ranked opponent. Skye will certainly increase in the rankings because she beat him. She probably just improved her chances of being able to stay in Dauntless from impossible to merely unlikely. But she is starting to wonder whether or not she made a mistake in choosing the embers. Even if I'm allowed to stay, she muses, can I?