With each pounding of the bag, May chases another piece of the memory from terrorizing her. Bam! Bam! Bam! Every punch makes her feel a little bit better, as if she can beat her fears into submission.
"Can't sleep?" a voice from behind surprises her. She whirls around to see Ward.
"Initiates are supposed to be in their dormitory," she warns him, turning back to her punching bag.
"Do you want a sparring partner?"
"No, I want you to go back to your dormitory." With a final shot at the punching bag, she turns on him, ready to drag his ass back and lock him in the room if necessary.
He doesn't seem afraid, or maybe he doesn't understand what she's willing to do. "So I've heard these rumors from some of the Dauntless-born. Rumors about something you did a while back that put you at the top of the Dauntless hierarchy. Are any of them true?"
"I don't know what you've heard," she answers evasively.
"Because, if they are true, it means you could be sitting in a nice office somewhere, in charge of the entire faction. But instead, you're here, slumming it with initiates. And I don't really get that. Can you help me out?"
"I can help you back to your dormitory," she reiterates, adding a threatening tone to her voice.
"May." As he says her name, he looks so innocent and young that she can almost forget the violent passion she saw in his eyes when he was fighting Skye. "I just want to know."
She considers. "Fine. I'll tell you, if you'll tell me about something I want to know."
"Sure." He accepts her offer so readily, she wonders if he was expecting this condition.
She considers how to begin her answer. "There was a rebellion among the factionless. They were trying to tear down the faction system, and they were willing to kill anyone they had to in order to make that happen."
"Why didn't I ever hear about a factionless rebellion?"
"This was about twelve years ago. You're too young to remember it. Those who do remember it don't speak about it: too afraid that any mention of it might bring the idea back, and we'd have to deal with the same problem all over again."
"So what did you do?"
"I stopped it."
"But how?"
"You said you'd heard the rumors. Take away the melodrama, and you've just about got the story."
He pauses, apparently pondering her answer. "Why didn't you take the promotion they offered?"
"I didn't want it."
"Why not? Even if you didn't like the job they offered, you could have any job you want. Clearly, you're capable of much more than teaching initiates to fight."
She does her best to stare down a boy who's almost a foot taller than her. "There's something you don't seem to understand about being Dauntless, so let me clear it up for you. It's not about how many people you can beat up or how many stunts you can do. It's about protecting those who need my help from those who don't deserve my mercy. Anything further than that, anything more, and you have passed from Dauntless into sadistic. Does that answer your question?"
He nods solemnly. "What did you want to know from me?"
"Why did you leave Candor?"
He is taken aback. "It's not uncommon for Dauntless to receive Candor transfers. If anything, you should be asking Skye—"
"I'm not asking Skye. I'm asking you."
"The only bravery that's worth anything in Candor is the bravery required to tell the truth. And that's the one kind of bravery I don't have. I figured, why not get recognized for what I have, without being punished every day for what I lack?"
"So you're not good at telling the truth?"
He shrugs. "I mean, I'm not worse than average, but living in Candor, where they demand absolute honesty every minute of every day…it's exhausting."
They spend a moment in contemplative silence.
"Go to bed, Ward."