i really am sorry for taking so long but i'm on the verge of failing three classes and i cant let thhat happen
thats all i can say
sorry
and thanks a million for all of your reviews they really do make my day
enjoy
"Edward!" I ran toward him the moment I saw him apparate with Frankie. He looked up at the sound of my voice and spread open his arms just as i jumped on him.
"You're here" I whispered breathless, kissing every inch of his face I could reach. He in turn turned his face up towards me so that he could kiss me back.
The whole summer had been drastically slow and painful. Images I had tried to keep away from my mind visited me during my sleep. The Dursleys hadn't appreciated that one bit, but were too scared to punish me. In some other time I would have beaten starved and probably overworked.
Sirius was on harry's and my mind constantly. There was very little talking between us, instead we shared our grief silently
Now I was back into the place I felt I belonged, in Edwards arms, and I was ready to forget all about that horrendous summer. I hugged him tight to me as if trying to create one out of the two of us. Edwards arms wound around me tightly his hands holding me possessively by the back. I could feel his fingers digging into my back as he too pressed me closer to him.
He pulled back then but I hadn't had enough I continued to kiss him desperately.
"Alex... please" he breathed.
That stopped me. Of course, he hadn't seen me in a very long time; this was very hard for him.
Not taking my eyes from his I let go of him and planted my feet back on the ground. His eyes were shut tightly and set on a pained face. He tired to control his breathing but I saw how he deepened his breaths. Inhaling my smell, no doubt, trying to get accustomed to my scent again.
I raised my hand and stroked is cheek, trying to get his features to relax.
It's crazy how I thought that when I saw him again he would somehow look different. But he remained just as breathtaking and youthful as ever.
"I missed you" I whispered gently. His face visibly relaxed under my touch and at my words.
He opened his honey colored eyes, behind the struggle and pain in his eyes, the softness and adoration was noticeable.
"So beautiful" he whispered to himself. He ran his soft hands against my face caressing with his touch.
His touch.
I had missed that a lot more during the long nights. I missed his feather light touches and the loving kisses. I had stayed awake for endless nights imagining him next to me, singing me to sleep. I would have that back when the summer was over.
His nose lightly skimmed my face as he breathed. I giggled when his nose ghosted over my neck.
"Better?" I said.
"Much better" he said and nodded.
"Where are the rest?" I asked. He straightened up and wounded his harm around my waist, brining me close to his body.
"Their hunting, but they'll be coming later on, shall we?" he gestured with his hand towards the burrow. Silently he led me over to the house where Frankie had gone to give us privacy.
"Do I at least get a hello?" Frankie said as soon as Edward and I crossed the threshold. I smiled at him and went over to hug him. I felt Edward close at my side and he placed a hand at my back.
"Give her some space Edward" Frankie scolded.
"she had enough space while she was away" Edward said, his tone was playful but I knew that he really meant it.
"Who said I wanted space anyway?" I smiled.
Everyone laughed. I was the happiest I've been in a long time.
The whole day Edward and I had been joined by the hip. It felt so good to just have him right by my side all the time. I couldn't deny that I wasn't dependant on him. It made me aware of just how unhealthy that made our relationship. But it's in our nature to love what is harmful to us. If anything, it was the unhealthiness of our relationship that kept us so tightly bound to each other.
These thoughts pondered in my head as Edward and I sheltered under a tree that was out in the weasleys garden.
Catching myself in the middle of my thoughts I realized I shouldn't be thinking that. I should just be happy that I was back in Edwards arms and that it would be that way for the rest of the summer. When the school year at Hogwarts started I had to go and see what would be going on with my new schedule. So I would most likely be there for one week until I was able to go home.
Home.
Hogwarts had once been my home. But everything was different know. Edward had become my home. Wherever he was, that was my home.
"What are you thinking?" he said picking up my hand and kissing my knuckles.
"I'm thinking about how i wish that we were in my room right now" I interlaced my fingers with his and pulled our hands away from him only to kiss his hand in return.
"Why?" he asked with a smile.
"Because I like the privacy it gives us. Here I feel like I'm being watched."
Don't get me wrong, I definitely wanted to be here and be with my friends and brother. But I also wanted to be with Edward alone. However the summer was nearing its end, and then I wouldn't see neither harry nor Ron and Hermione as frequently as I would be seeing Edward. Therefore it was without any sacrifice that I stayed here and enjoyed the company.
As a light breeze passed through and disarrayed my hair i turned to look at Edward, who hadn't given me a response.
His eyes held wonder and awe as i set my gaze on him.
"Alex" he whispered. "I have seen so many wonders. But do not doubt my words when I say that I have never looked upon anything as beautiful and glorious as you"
His sincerity didn't fail to make my heart stutter and then make it beat at its fastest speed.
My mouth tried to form some type of response, just anything that could match that spell that his words had casted upon me. Edward made it impossible when he leaned in to brush my lips with just his breath.
My hands tangled in his hair and I brought myself closer to him, my lips close enough to feel the heat of his lips but not touching them at all. A kiss wasn't needed for us to be left breathless at the close proximity between us.
When he gave up and pressed his lips softly against mines I had won the small battle we had unknowingly fallen into.
"You're mine" I almost panted when he paused the kiss to let out a few uneven and unnecessary breaths.
"I'm yours" he pledged.
But how true were his words?
The days passed and Edward was always there. He had really gotten along with everyone and the whole order had accepted what he and the Cullen's were and welcomed them with open arms. All was good and it was more than I could ask for.
The rest of the Cullen's visited often too. And had apparently been visiting since even before harry and I had arrived. They were amazed at the many things the wizarding world held. When they saw how quidditch was played I recall Emmett saying that baseball had nothing on quidditch.
"Oh and you haven't seen a real game." I said as I landed right next to him.
It wouldn't be good for Edward to see a real game though. If he ever saw me really playing and saw the balls we actually used his heart would probably come to life and then suffer from a cardiac arrest.
"Oh it gets better?" he said his eyes comically widening.
"Way better" I said remembering the quidditch world cup.
Had it really been two years since that day?
As soon as Mr. Diggory called out Cedrics name some shape fell from the tree, it was inches away from me.
I let out a startled yelp, took a step back, tripped over a root and fell backwards.
Cedrics apologizing face came into my view as he began letting out a stream of sorry, forgive me's and I didn't mean to.
"Its fine" I said once he had helped me up and i had brushed off the dirt from me. "It's all well" I said half laughing at my antics.
Sensing that I was fine cedric gave me the first of his many smiles, his warm gray eyes made my stomach churn and it wasn't in the unpleasant way.
"Come on" I said averting my gaze elsewhere. "Or their going to leave us"
Alice had been initially determined to make harry's and my birthday into something big. Harry and I, however, had been determined to make this as quiet as possible.
"Okay but you are going to have to pay back" Alice said when it had been decided that there would be nothing big.
"That means?" I prompted.
"It means you better prepare yourself because i plan on using you as my personal doll" she said with a smile that couldn't mean anything good.
Edwards pov
Harry and I strolled around the garden. Alex was inside already getting ready for bed. Already I had said my goodbyes to her for the night. Right now I needed to talk to harry since we had never gotten around to doing so.
It had been their birthday today, and as promised it was a quiet affair. I'll admit that I would have liked something better for her, for both of them. But it was really nice and they seemed to enjoy it. I just wish that they wouldn't have brought up the topic of the disappearances. There birthday shouldn't be tainted by such sad news. I didn't have to be jasper to feel how the mood had noticeably changed when they hit the topic. The last I wanted was to see Alex's preoccupied expression on her birthday.
Harry buried his hands deep into his pant pockets kicked pebbles as we walked. His scent i noticed was very similar to Alex's, but it was cleaner. It was like the purified version of her scent, and this one didn't make him thirst for it.
"Did I ever thank you?" he began.
I knew what he was talking about. "Yes, there's no need to thank me. I love her and I am sure you don't doubt that.
I'd have to be mental to doubt it he thought.
"There's something bothering me" he said.
She's too dependent on you it's not normal.
i sighed. "That worries me too" I said in response to his thought.
"Huh?" he said confused. "Oh right" he muttered
You read my thoughts
I nodded although I was sure he didn't see it.
"When she was with Cedric" he began, "I never realized just how much she relied on him until he was gone and he took her from me. By then great damage was done...now I can see it clearer Edward. And it worries me, if something happens to you...you have to understand that Alex is capable of anything, especially for those she loves." he turned his gaze to the sky, "I shudder to think of what she could possibly do if anything were to ever happen to you"
"She won't do anything for someone who's not worth it" I said firmly. Almost like and order.
"But to her you are worth it Edward and nothing you could ever say, no matter how much you can possibly hurt her, in her mind you will always be worth it."
And deep inside me I knew his words were true. But fear was something that would be forever engraved in our relationship. It shouldn't be, but there was no way to avoid pain. It appeared to come in the package of our love.
"After Sirius died" his words sounded half strangled. "How did she react?"
I remembered those painful days. "She tried to cover her feelings. But she was trying too hard, and it didn't benefit anyone. She was very unresponsive at times, but she rarely cried. Why?"
"Because she let it all out as soon as she arrived to the Dursleys. At nights she didn't sleep for fear of nightmares, she opted for looking out the window while she cried. It was torture to see her like that, it seems like every time she is beginning to get better something happens that just tries to bring her back down"
His mind took him to a particular memory that seemed to give my heart a painful squeeze.
Harry came into a small room, already the sky outside the window was painted black.
A sob pierced the silence and he directed his eyes toward a corner of the room where a small bundle was curled up and shaking.
Wordlessly he walked towards her and tried to pick her up.
"No" she said annoyed and wriggled away from him falling back to the floor. "Leave me" she hissed through her sobs.
"I would never leave you Alex" harry said quietly.
"Why not? Mom and dad left, Cedric left, and now Sirius left too...they didn't care. Why should you care?"
He sat next to her, resting his back against a white wall.
"They left me too Alex" she wasn't the only one that had suffered. "And you left me too for some time. So I beg you now Alex. Don't leave me again. You're the only person I have left, you're my only family"
She didn't say anything for the rest of the night, the only sounds that came from her lips was when she sobbed and took sharp intakes of air. Harry fell asleep next to her, in a seating position. But he distinctly remembers some time during that night that Alex had crawled onto his lap to continue her mourning. He picked her up and settled her into the small bed that they had been sharing. She turned towards him and curled into him in an almost feline way. Harry stroked his sister's hair until she fell asleep. Only to be awakened shortly by a bad dream.
"She has needed you a lot these past few weeks and that might have helped her to rely on you even more. But I think that maybe if she hadn't been away from you for some time then she wouldn't have been able to just let go and let it all out. She would have been able to mourn. And that wouldn't have been good"
"I think so too" I agreed. "I hope that through all of that pain she had to experience. Some good was done to her"
"Well...I suppose there's nothing to do for now but just...let things come as they may."
"I don't like that. But i see there is no way around it." I sighed and ran a hand through my hair.
"I know that Alex's future is very unpredictable but...what are the plans for the both of you Edward?"
If he plans to be with her permanently then he is going to have to change her
"I don't have to change her to be able to be with her" I said, struggling to keep that relaxed facade.
"Yes but then you're just thinking of yourself and you're not thinking about what Alex wants"
"How can you say I'm thinking about myself? I'm doing it because I don't want to condemn her to the life I have. It's not fair for her. I don't want to hurt her that way or any way. If I was thinking about myself I would have changed her ages ago. There's no doubt about that.
"Either way Edward, you're not thinking about her and what she wants"
"Alex doesn't know what she wants" now I was angry, " she's only fifteen, about to be sixteen she is too young to know what she wants for the rest of her life."
"You underestimate her Edward. You treat her as if she were just some silly teenage girl that is just acting on impulse. But you forget her past and you forget that she has had to grow up sooner than any person of her age should have to. She is not one of those girls so you shouldn't regard her as such. She's smarter than what you make her out to be"
I could see that harry too was older than his years though he didn't show it at times.
"Don't you think I know that?" I hissed.
"I don't really think you do" he fired back.
"How can you stand here and telling me to destroy your only sister's life like that? What kind of a monster would do that?"
"I probably think more of her happiness than you do" he snapped. I sharply turned around, forgetting myself I pulled him by the collar of his shirt.
"Don't you dare say that I don't think about her happiness you know nothing, you're just an ignorant child too stubborn to listen to anyone."
His wand was already pointed at my neck.
"Let go of me" he said dangerously calm.
I released him and took deep breaths to recollect myself.
"Think about it Edward. She'll never be truly happy if you keep her human."
His thoughts became choppy, like he was trying to hide them from me.
Halfway there anyway
And what in the name of the lord was that supposed to mean.
"What was that?" i demanded.
"What?" he glared.
"What you just thought"
"That is none of your business. Thoughts are meant to be personal Edward so be the gentleman you can be and respect my thoughts"
With that he turned around and headed back inside the burrow. his train of thought seemed to have completely changed and i saw that he want mad at, annoyed maybe, but he liked me. Although I was really angry at the moment I was glad that he didn't think any less of me. That last thing I wanted was to have Alex's brother as an enemy.
But what had he been thinking that he felt the need to hide from me?
Alex's pov
"I'm ready!" I said and bolted down the stairs. I stopped at the foot of the stairs, busily looking down and smoothing down my hair. I had woken up slightly late and everyone had been waiting for both Ron and I.
"I'm ready" I panted then looked up to see everyone with huge smiles.
"What's going on?" I asked.
"Where not going to leave without you Alex" harry said laughing. "There's no need to rush"
"Ron's not even ready yet." Hermione giggled.
"I wonder if Ron should have been the girl and i the boy"
"I love you like you can't imagine Alex but I wouldn't go gay for you if you were a man" a silky smooth voice spoke behind me, making me jump and gasp.
I turned and saw a smirking Edward next to me?
"What are you doing here?" I blurted.
His expression dropped at once and seemed hurt and worried.
"I didn't think you would mind." he mumbled.
"No, no, no, it's not that it's just- well you knew we weren't going to be here today didn't you?"
"Oh I just want to see some glimpse of the world my girl lives in you know." he said with a slight smile. "But I can leave if you want me to."
"I would be mental if I wanted you to leave." I said and stood on my toes to kiss him. He looked down at me and smiled as he leaned down to caress my face and kiss me.
He pulled away almost instantly; of course I forgot we had company.
I turned to look at everyone. They all smiled and began walking around and talking amongst each other. Harry seemed deep in thought as he leaned against a wall with his hand deeply immersed in his pockets.
What are thinking? I asked.
Never you mind he said and i saw him smile. I returned it and pulled Edward over to a couch were I curled in his arms.
"Where are the rest?" i asked.
"Surely you didn't expect all of us to come, especially someone as immature as Emmett."
"Ok I think I see you point."
"Besides that would have been too many people." He added.
"Right." I looked at him; he wore a navy blue button up with black jeans and black dress shoes. a very normal outfit if you ask me, but he just took of the word normal from that outfit and turned into...wow.
"Woke up a bit late today didn't we?" he said fixing a piece of red hair back into place.
"Yeah, I don't know what happened." usually I'm awake much earlier.
"Good dream?" he teased.
"Any dream that has you in it is good. i said kissing his chest.
"Wish I could dream" he absentmindedly ran his fingers through my hair.
"So you can dream of yourself?" I looked up at him with a grin.
At my words his face turned into disgust and he said, "No" dropping his polite tone. He sounded just like a teenage boy when he said that.
"If I could dream it would be of you and only of you. If I could do that I think it would be more bearable when you leave."
"It's not the same." I said. "i dream of you when I'm away and it doesn't help me at all"
"Not you, but were different aren't we?"
"Yeah I suppose."
"I'm ready" called a breathless Ron. He stopped on the last step to catch his breath his chest heaved as he bent over.
"Jeez take it easy Ron, there's no fire" i teased.
"Did you hear my mom; she made it sound like there was."
Everyone laughed and began filing out of the house.
i stood up with Edward at my side, he turned me towards him and began zipping up my sweater.
"It's cold outside." he murmured.
Sure enough when we stepped out the wind was chilly. I instinctively shrunk closer towards Edward for warmth.
We had expected the extra security that we were going to get for our trip to Diagon alley to be some aurors. But we were pleasantly surprised when Hagrid met us at the leaky cauldron.
"Hagrid" I said and disentangled myself from Edward's arms and went to hug the giant man that smiled down at us.
"Hey there" he said enveloping me in his massive arms, I was sure I all but disappeared before the eyes of the others. "How are ye?" he asked taking a step back.
"Alright I suppose" I said.
Hagrid greeted everyone else, giving them all warm smiles and telling them that Dumbledore thought he was fit to be our bodyguard.
"Hagrid" I said as Edward came forward and wrapped his arms around my waist. "This is Edward."
Hagrid turned towards Edward and there was the friendly smile that signaled that already he liked Edward. My man was charming without even having to speak, and i knew that he knew it too even if he didn't like to recognize it.
"So this is the famous young lad" Edwards hand stretched forward to shake Hagrid's massive hand. The handshake that was exchanged would have shaken the whole body of human, but Edward didn't even budge with the heavy handshake.
"I've heard lots bout yer" Hagrid he said warmly.
"Likewise" Edward said with his charming smile that I'm sure won over many hearts.
"Good things I hope" I beamed at Hagrid.
"Only the best" he assured him wholeheartedly
Diagon alley had changed so much since the last time we had been here. It was almost a ghost town and to be frank it kind of scared me. Many shops were deserted and not a single person on their own. It was all dull and colorless; too unlike the first time I had been here six years ago.
I stopped right in front of ollivanders shop which was more or less destroyed. I wasn't the only one looking aghast, Hermione and Ginny both looked horrified.
"My god" I silently whispered to myself. Unconsciously my hand around Edwards tightened.
"Where are people going to get wands now?" Ron wondered.
"From someone else I suppose" answered harry.
"But Ollivander was the best" I said quietly.
Unlike harry who hadn't been sure if he liked the old wizard when he first met him, I had instantly liked him. In his odd way he was nice. The last time I had seen him he had been evaluating our wands for the Triwizard tournament.
"Come on now" said Mrs. Weasleys nervous voice, she was desperate to get this over with, that much was noticeable. "Hurry along and don't stay behind please"
We all walked and Hagrid walked right behind us, sticking to his job as bodyguard with pride.
Seeing as how the stores weren't even crowded we finished the shopping in record time. Despite the condition that Diagon alley was in, Edward looked everywhere in sheer amazement and wonder. I struggled but eventually he allowed me to buy him two books. He glared at me but it was soon forgotten when I pouted pleadingly at him. He sighed and kissed my nose. He was discontent, I could feel it, but he really needed to drop some of that pride of his. While I was there I got some books that I was sure that Carlisle would like.
When we walked into madam Malkins store to buy our robes we were unpleasantly surprised to see Malfoy and his mother there. They didn't seem too thrilled either. No doubt they hated us even more since we put Lucius Malfoy in Azkaban.
Edward and I went separate ways from the rest to keep up pretences. But I stayed close enough to hear what was going on.
"Remember that boy I told you about"
"That's him isn't he?" Edward said.
"Yup. That's Draco Malfoy. Lovely boy isn't he?"
"Hardly, how can a person be so hateful?"
"Ask him, he may be able to answer that."
I heard when he insulted Hermione. And just like harry and Ron I made to pull out my wand. Edwards warm hand stopped me from getting it out of my pocket however.
"Let's not cause a scene" he tried to reason. He was right; this was hardly the time and place.
Calm down I all but ordered harry. His wand was raise but i knew him, he wouldn't do anything unless Draco did.
We got what we needed from there and madam Malkin all but kicked us out of her store.
What all of us were really interested in seeing was Fred and Georges store, it was hard not to spot, it was the only store that was crowded and seemed alive. I saw that there was mostly Hogwarts students in there.
"Edward come here" I said and pulled him to the side.
"Hey" Hagrid said ready to carry me inside the store himself.
"Relax I just don't want anyone to recognize me" I explained to the both of them. "If they see Edward and me together questions might arise and I want to avoid that.
Five minutes later I walked in as a tall brunette with a round face chubby cheeks and gray eyes. I was completely unrecognizable people didn't stare because they knew who I was; no they stared at the man that was holding my hand. Edward looked at me so often that it made me laugh.
"Why do you keep staring?" I said as we looked through shelves of treats to make you skip classes.
"This is odd" he explained. "You might as well be a different person, but you smell the same and I can't hear you. And I know it's you but this is just...odd."
"What can I say, I'm full of surprises"
"Maybe that's why I'm so, as Emmett, would say, 'whipped'"
I chuckled. "What does that mean?"
"It means I'm head over heels for you." he leaned down and kissed my temple. "It's not hard to see why" he whispered in my ear. I shivered and pulled away trying to control the way my heart seemed to do back flips.
"Well I see now that you have no reason for a love potion" said a voice behind us. I turned and saw both Fred and George side by and grinning at me from ear to ear. They wore royal blue robes, the both of them. It was evident that they were making some good money.
"Who told you?" I asked.
Fred and Georges eyes bugged out in fake disbelief.
"Alex?" Fred said pretending to be shocked.
"Oh well this is odd" added George playing the embarrassed part.
"Yeah I had just come here to see if I could get a date from the pretty brunette"
"And instead we get a brunette that not only has a boyfriend but is also a fake"
I laughed.
"Fred, George this is Edward Cullen, Edward this is Fred and George Weasley." I said indicating with my hand.
Fred and Georges faces turned serious.
"We don't care if you're some pretty vampire, you mess with her or hurt her and we will end you" Fred said.
They made it sound like a joke but something told me they meant it.
"I wouldn't worry if I were you" Edward said smoothly.
"Were warning you now Cullen" George added.
"If ever I do hurt her I will personally make sure that you guys carry on with that promise."
The twins nodded satisfied.
"Well you guys seem to be doing well" I said trying to move on to a lighter topic.
"Yeah, but we couldn't of done it without you or harry's help." said George.
"Which is why everything is free for you" Fred said.
I shrugged, "it's not like it was harry's or my money, it was Cedrics."
"Rightfully, I suppose."
"I'm glad you made a good use of it" I said.
"Look around and don't be afraid to take what you wish."
"Mind if I take some things for the Cullen's?"
"Not at all, help yourself. Now if you would excuse us we are going to go greet your brother. Alex, Edward" they nodded in unison and walked away.
"Interesting people" Edward said.
"Their heart is in the right place. i missed them a lot. They were the first Weasleys we were introduced to in our first year. That same year while harry and i had been in the hospital wing unconscious they tried to bring us a toilet seat.
Edward looked at me with questioning eyes.
"Long story" I said to make things easier.
He nodded and shook his head as if in disbelief.
"Well Alexandra potter, you certainly live in a very interesting world."
"Oh and you didn't see this place when it was alive" I said.
"I wish I could have, do you remember that first time you saw this place?"
"I could never forget that day" I smiled at the memories. "It was my birthday, and harry and I had just learned of what we were, Hagrid was the one that brought us here as a matter of fact.
I became so engrossed in the memory that suddenly everything around Edward and I blurred and we were taken back into that day.
An eleven year old Harry and I walked hand in hand moving our necks so fast, as if trying to see everything at once.
"You were so young" Edward said next to me.
"Yeah" I smiled. Though the streets were overly crowded Hagrid had no problem getting is through the sea of wizards and witches.
I felt myself being shaken and my concentration broke, instantly Edward and I were pulled back into the actual time.
"Alex" Harry called shaking me. I blinked twice and looked to see that Ron and Hermione were next to him.
"What?"
"We just saw Malfoy." harry said.
"Joy" I frowned.
"He looked like he was trying to be sneaky" Ron said. "Wasn't doing a very good job if you ask me"
"Go and check it out" I said. "Edward is not leaving my side and not all of us are going to fit under the invisibility cloak. I'll listen through your thoughts" I told harry. They agreed and then as discreetly as possible they pulled the invisibility cloak over them and slipped out of the store.
"Do you really think it's a smart idea to leave without anyone knowing?"
"Hey be happy that I'm staying here for your sake okay? I mean why would Malfoy need to hide? Oh he's up to something. Come on" I led him over to another shelve but in reality I was paying attention at what harry was seeing.
"Can you hear their thoughts?" I asked Edward.
"Now and then but their far away and with so many people in here it's not that easy.
"Right"
"Can you?"
"Yeah nice and clear. Let me get all of this and I'll fill you in."
Few minutes later Mrs. Weasley approached us.
"Have you seen harry, Ron, and Hermione?"
" yeah, Fred and George took them to the back room." Edward said. "They wanted to show them something."
"Oh" she looked around. "Why aren't you kids with them?"
The combination of Edward and kid was laughable, but I suppose that to Mrs. Weasley he was only a kid even if she knew he wasn't.
"Oh were looking for something for Edwards's family" I said. Mrs. Weasley smiled warmly at us and then sauntered off with Ginny.
"We should be partners in crime" i said grinning at him. He let out a silent laugh. "Do you feel just as bad as I do about lying to her?"
"To be frank, yes"
"Yeah I don't like it either" I saw through harry's mind as Hermione unsuccessfully tried to investigate.
The days passed by and I was constantly thinking about Malfoy.
"But it makes sense" I said to Edward the day before I left to Hogwarts.
"Alex!" I internally groaned at the person that had called me. I had nothing against fleur but she made me mad when Edward was around.
"elo Edvard!" she said cheerily surprised. " I did not know you vere ere" she batted her eyelashes and gave him a brilliant smile.
Isn't she going to get married?
"Fleur" Edward said politely. Oh but that wasn't enough for her, she strolled over to him and hugged him and kissed both of his cheeks. My eyes flashed angrily and I felt my temperature rise.
Fleur turned to look at me and i worked to compose myself.
"mrs. weazley vantz to know if you ave everything ready"
"Yes fleur." I muttered. She smiled kissed my cheek then walked- almost danced- back into the house.
I looked at Edward he looked at me amusedly.
"Shut up Edward Anthony, this isn't funny" I brusquely walked away. In a second he was there blocking my way and pressing me to his chest.
"Have I ever told you that I love it when you're jealous?"
"Let me go" I said angrily.
He pulled us down and leaned against a tree. Quickly I climbed on top of his so that I straddled him. As roughly as I could I put both of my hands on his cheeks and made him look at me.
"You are mine" I growled, and kissed each of his cheeks.
"I'm yours" he didn't hide that tone of elation.
"Only mines and forever mines" I kissed his jaw and his eyes closed.
"Yours and eternally yours"
"You will never look at anyone else but me" I kissed both of his eyelids.
"Only you" he whispered, was I really leaving Edward Cullen breathless?
"Fleur delacour means nothing to you" I ran my hands through his hair and kissed his temple.
"Nothing"
"And you only love me" I kissed behind his ear. A hiss escaped his mouth and the back of his ear was replaced by his soft lips.
"I love you" he panted.
"Mines" I murmured, barely coherent.
"Yours" our kiss blocked any other words. Desperately passionate we explored each other's mouth and reveled at the feeling of each other's lips.
Fire seemed to spread throughout me, with the intensity of our emotions.
I pulled away gasping for breath. Equally breathless, Edward leaned forward and ran his tongue over my lips.
He hummed in pleasure, and cradled me in his arms. i rested my head on his shoulder and for some moments we both worked on controlling our breathing.
"You know I only have eyes for you" he said once we were both controlled.
"Well she obviously has eyes for you and she's going to get married."
"That's where you're wrong, her thoughts towards me are friendly and that's all. She adores bill. She has all the love and devotion to him. Besides she too old for my taste.
I didn't fail to catch his double meaning. He was rarely like this but I liked the perverted Edward. I mean I'm a teenager so I can't be blamed.
"Your such a pedophile" I laughed.
"So?" his fingers ran up and down my spine.
"Why Mr. Cullen don't forget you are dealing with a hormonal sixteen year old, something undesirable might happen to you." I whispered in his ear.
"And who said it was going to be undesirable?"
"Usually rape is undesirable."
"It's not rape if you like it" his teeth lightly grazed my collar bone and I let out a small strangled noise.
"But you forget where we are" he said, and his teeth abruptly cut contact with my skin.
I let out a frustrated sigh. Now how did he expect me to live through this next week at Hogwarts?
"Going back to the matter at hand" he said so casually that I almost believed that we hadn't had mind boggling kiss.
"I was saying that it makes sense if Draco turned out to be a death eater. I mean look at all the signs. It all fits."
"But why would Voldemort accept a wizard that hasn't even finished..." I could almost hear his thoughts shift gear.
"you think he could be spying for Voldemort" it wasn't a question, it was a statement.
"Exactly"
"Okay so far it makes sense, but now tell me how could Voldemort use Draco as a spy? I have it understood that he is not exactly best friends with Dumbledore how could Malfoy get any information without Dumbledore finding out?"
He was right, and he gave me something else to think about for the rest of the week.
Edward was there the next day, saying that he would go with us to see me off.
So the next day we all hurried and went to say goodbye to fleur who would be staying at the house. She kissed all of us goodbye and as soon as she kissed my cheek I pulled Edward out of the house before she could even make a move to kiss him goodbye.
"That wasn't nice" Edward said but he was smirking.
"Oh well" I said and made him get into the car before me.
As we hurried through kings cross station I asked.
"Is Edward going to be able to pass" as far as I knew only wizard could pass the barrier.
"Oh yes, Muggles are the only ones that can't pass through the barrier and Edward isn't a Muggle, he's a vampire" Mrs. Weasley said.
"Okay Alex you go first" Mrs. Weasley said.
On cue one of the aurors that had accompanied us came to my side opposite of Edward and was about to steer me towards the barrier.
"I can take her" Edward said with authority in his voice. The auror looked suspicious. I wasted no time and took Edwards arm as he took my trolley. "So we just run at it?" Edward asked me quietly.
"Just run" I said. I broke into a sprint and he kept pace with me. as we got close enough to crash into the barrier we went through it and found ourselves at platform nine and three quarters.
"Come" I said leading Edward out of the way so that the rest could pass. Edward looked in awe at all the wizarding families saying goodbye to their children. Some dressed in normal attire and others already in their uniforms.
"The rest of the family would like to see this"
"Wouldn't they rather stay away from the temptation?"
"Yes but this is different, it's a whole new world. And it's your world"
I smiled as I looked around. It was almost time to go.
"Guess I'll see you in a week" I sighed and looked down at my shoes.
He put a finger under my chin and made me look up.
"We've gone through a longer time apart"
"Doesn't matter, to me any length of time away from you feels eternal."
"So I'm not the only one then"
I smiled and hugged him tightly.
A whistle sounded and everyone began boarding the train.
I took a step back.
"I'd kiss you but I don't want to draw attention." I explained he gave me a resigned sigh and a nod.
"I'll se you in a week"
"Okay, meanwhile I think I'll be at the Weasleys and have some bonding time with them" he smirked at me; he sure as hell wasn't referring to the Weasleys.
"Don't you dare Cullen" I said warningly. He laughed at me, and that broke my resolve. I pulled him down and he was quick to kiss me. It was brief but it was enough to satisfy us for now. "You are dangerous" I said.
He helped me heave my trunk onto the train; well he more like heaved it up himself. I got onto the train just as the doors closed. Quickly I got my trunk into the compartment harry was in. I pulled down the window and looked outside, Edward was right there next to Mr. and Mrs. Weasley. He saw me and waved at me.
I quickly got out of the train and ran towards them. I hugged Mrs. Weasley.
"Thanks for having us at you're house Mrs. Weasley" I said. She hugged me back.
"You're welcome dear it was a pleasure having you and you're brother there."
I pulled away and hugged Mr. Weasley.
"Goodbye Alex stay out of trouble"
"I can only try" I said.
I turned to Edward and offered him my hand. He took it and led me back to the train.
I could see in that inside it killed him to let me go, the last time I had been in school I had ran off to the ministry and nearly got killed, but he also knew that he just had to let me go he could always be there.
I stood outside the train door and looked up at him. He kept his eyes on me as he leaned down and kissed the back of my hand.
"I'll be seeing you soon" he said.
I didn't answer as I stepped into the train and walked back to my compartment.
The train began moving and I sat back. He shouldn't worry, the action usually started at the end of the year.
The week hadn't been the best but I had a good time, last year I had gone straight to forks rather than spending the first week here, so I won't lie when I say I kind of missed it.
Harry had a stroke of luck as professor Slughorn allowed him to continue in potions, and had even more luck when he found a curious, use potions book that helped him do better in the class. The so called half blood prince must have been one hell of a wizard.
I had arrived at forks Monday morning it felt great being back home, I had missed everything about it.
Now it was night and Edward and I were by the creek. I was wearing three shirts and two sweaters plus Edwards coat to keep me warm. To top it off Edward was hugging me so that I could be warm.
"How is this relevant to Voldemort and helping you and harry survive?" Edward asked after i showed him the memory that Dumbledore ad shown us.
"I don't know how he thinks it might help us, but I think we'll find out in due time. But that memory I just showed you, those people are Voldemort's family"
He gestured for me to continue.
"The girl Mereope, she's Voldemort's mother. The young man that they had talked about, the one on the horse, the muggle, he was Voldemort's father. It is Dumbledore's belief that Mereope was in love with him so she gave him some type of love potion or something along those lines, and that's how she left and married him. Then in time she just stopped. He left her and their son and never looked back."
"That..." he tried to find words. "That is cruel."
I nodded in agreement.
"How do you that?" Edward asked.
"What?" I said unaware of what he asked.
"The whole memory thing. How you can show me your memories. Is that normal in wizards?"
I grew slightly wary. "no, it's just something I've been able to do since I was small" I hated lying to him. Soon I would have to talk to him about my current status as a witch. "I don't know why"
"Hmm that's odd" he believed me, I didn't want to lie to him anymore but my god he is stubborn.
Edward carried me as he ran through the silent Forrest. He climbed up to my room with the agility of a cat. He his intense gaze never left my own as he pulled the covers back and carefully placed me on my bed. I really had missed this bed.
He sat down I pulled myself onto my knees, so that he had to tilt his head back to look at me. I placed me hands on the sides of his head and leaned to capture his lips. It went slow but the Edwards hands traveled to my layers of clothing, and with each layer he took off the more urgent our kiss became. He stopped when the only thing that was left on my body was my sleeping clothes which had been under all my layers.
He gently pushed me back onto the bed so that he could adjust himself in a way that allowed him to hover over me and lean in for a kiss.
As I granted his tongue access into my mouth my hands ran down to his shirt he was too caught up in the kiss that he failed to notice me unbuttoning his shirt.
He only noticed when I ran my hand through his bare chest. His eyes snapped opened and he unglued his lips from mine.
"I can control myself Edward" I said irritated.
"It's not you I'm worried about" he muttered, I couldn't help but giggle.
"Loosen up" I said. "You and I both know that nothing is going to happen tonight"
"Or ever" he said with a heavy sigh.
"Excuse me?"
He looked at me with pleading eyes. "Please understand melody that I could never put you at risk, I already made that mistake once and it very nearly destroyed me. I won't allow it to get even close this time."
"Wait so in short words are you trying to tell me that you're never going to sleep with me?" he really wasn't expecting me to live like this forever was he?
"Well technically-"
"I'm serious Edward"
He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry Alex."
"No Edward that's just really bloody mad, do you really think that's the best for both of us?"
"Yes, I'm not taking any chances melody"
I couldn't believe this, he wasn't humoring me, he was actually serious.
"And this brings us back to my request" I said.
"Melody" he groaned and closed his eyes.
"Edward, I know I don't want to live my entire life a virgin."
"You're a virgin?" his eyes opened.
"Of course I am" I said.
"Oh I just would have thought- well you know what with Cedric and all-"
"Be serious Edward I was only fourteen"
"Well you'd be surprised to hear that now even ten year olds are sexually active"
"That's not right"
"I agree" he said.
"Edward don't avoid the topic" I sat back and crossed my legs and arms.
"Edward I really think it would be better for the both of us if you changed me"
"No" he said brusquely.
"But have you heard yourself Edward? You just said we would never be together as a couple"
"It's for the best"
"No it isn't, not for me at least"
"I'm really sorry Alex, I know you deserve much more than this but, that's all I can offer you"
"You're lying and you know it" I whispered angrily.
"I'm not lying Alex I've made my decision and that's final"
"I think I should have a say in this, after this is my life you're deciding"
He took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of his nose.
"Alex-" he began, but I had enough for tonight.
"Goodnight Edward" I said angrily. I laid back down on the bed and pulled the covers over my head and turned my back to him.
I heard him sigh.
I felt his arm snake around my waist so I shook it off.
"I'm sorry" he whispered, I didn't answer and eventually I fell asleep.
It was snowing when I woke up the next day and I was sure I had moved closer to Edward while I slept because my upper body rested upon his chest.
I inhaled his natural scent and hummed. I was too groggy to remember that I was annoyed with him.
"Morning" he said quietly.
His voice reminded me of last night. Abruptly I stood up from the bed and muttered a good morning as I made my way to the bathroom.
Okay maybe I was being a git but if this is what it took to make him change me then so be it.
It went like that the whole day. He would tell me something and I would answer him in short blunt sentences that always ended the conversation. And it killed me every time I saw his hurt expression. I was surprised I managed to keep it up for the whole day. But by the end of the day I was on the verge of giving in.
I lay down on the bed and turned my back to him.
"Are you going to be like this forever?" he asked quietly.
"Don't you think I have a right to be?"
"Yes you have every right…I'm sorry Alex but it's the only relationship I can offer you"
"Rubbish" I turned to him. "It's the only relationship you want to offer me, believe me there's a difference"
"I want what's best for you"
"A life of virginity is the best for me?"
"What is it that worries you, being a virgin for all your life?"
"No, you know how I fell Edward I already told you. I want to be with you in every way possible is that hard to comprehend?"
"Cant you see my side in this?"
"Yes you don't want to damn my soul but I recall showing you what it was like to really loose you're soul"
"Are we about to start on this again?"
"We wouldn't have to If you just agreed to turn me. Okay Edward so you want to just be with me until I die but I want to live with you forever what are you going to do? Force it to be you're way or run away like you did with Bella?"
I regretted it as soon as the words slipped out of my mouth. It really wasn't necessary for me to go that far.
"I'll only leave when you want me to leave Alex"
"You're taking advantage of the fact that I will never ask you to leave to force me into a life I don't want"
"It's working"
"But I'm not happy"
"Not right now but with time"
I crawled onto his chest and gave him a chaste kiss, he leaned in for more but I pulled back.
"I love you Edward" I whispered." And I will love you forever, but I will also resent you forever for depriving me of what I want.
He had no answer to this. Edward whom always had an answer for everything didn't seem to have answers for many things that I had lately been saying.
I got back into my place and turned my back to him.
"I wish you could see that you could do so much more than me" he whispered.
I pretended not to hear.
As I had thought many times before, this was no longer about him finding out about what I was. It was probably never even because of that. Maybe it was never about him finding it out that I was a vampire, that was just probably some weak excuse to be changed. Because now I knew that it was because I really did want to be with him forever and death shouldn't be the reason for our separation. If he ever found out I was a half vampire then he would use that as another reason to not change me and that's why I wasn't telling him that. But sooner or later he would find out. And I was desperate to be changed before he noticed.
I walked through the woods screams pierced the night but they had no bodies to claim them. Many people screamed and shouted, it was verbal chaos.
There were only two people with me, and they were at the very edge of the woods. Unable to see anything but their black shapes as they embraced, I moved forward to try to distinguish them. They were in such an embrace that from the distance it was hard to make one apart from the other.
"Hey!"I shouted at them. Two heads turned at the sound of my voice amidst all the other screams.
I was closer and I could smell a scent oddly familiar.
Only ones face became clear as I drew neared and it was that of a man. Both shapes were showered in light that came from outside the woods but it was only him I could see.
"Edward?" I asked. I had all but drowned the sound of all the other screaming people.
The figure he embraced was a few inches shorter than him and very obviously feminine.
As soon as his name left my lips it seemed like I was walking backward, they were suddenly becoming very distant and were both fast disappearing.
"Edward!" I screamed. There were no more screams but my own.
"Edward!" tears fell down my face as I realized he was leaving and not even looking back anymore.
"Edward!"
"Alex!"
It was his voice. How could I hear his voice when he was so far away?
"Edward!"
"Melody, wake up"
My eyes snapped open I was tense and my hands gripped the sheets as if for fear of falling if I didn't hang on to them.
I looked around the room until my eyes found what they looked for. Edwards face was close to my own. His eye were worried and panicked.
"Please don't go" I whispered, I was crying now.
He took me into his arms, lifting me off so that he could sit me in his lap. My body shook and I sobbed as I clung to him.
"What are you talking about silly girl?"
"You were there and you were hugging someone- you- you were leaving with her"
"Who, melody?"
"I don't know…it was a woman but- I –I don't know."
"Shh shh" he cooed. "It was just a dream melody. None of it is real, I'm here and I won't be leaving."
"Edward I'm s-sorry I k-know I'm being mean and I don't deserve you but-"
"Stop"
"No but I'm sorry, I'm sorry-"
"Stop"
"I'm a wretched person-"
Gently he put his hand over mine to quiet me down.
"None of that is true Alex; don't ever even think about it."
"but-"
"Shh" this time it sounded like an order. I sobbed.
"Never degrade yourself like that, you hear me? Don't ever do it. Now listen to me Alexandra, I will never leave you, not for anything in the world. Not as long as you still want me to be here. Is that clear?"
I nodded like a child being scolded by a father.
"It was just so real?" I said that very same night.
Edward held to him as he hummed to me trying to make me go to sleep.
"Don't think about it precious, just sleep" he said.
But I didn't sleep. I was too scared of that dream. If there was anything that I hated more since I fell for Edward was the thought of being alone. And that dream made me feel like I was completely alone.
In fact I didn't sleep the next day. Or the next, so that by the fourth day Edward had to threaten me with putting me to sleep by force.
I dreamed that dream again and I woke up scared and screaming, that day I kept Edward as close to me as possible but I was mad at him for making me go to sleep.
School and afternoon classes helped me to take my mind off the dreams. And I dreaded the night so much that sometimes I refused to even go up to the room at night.
I had to sleep, after two weeks of almost no sleep I had reached my limit, Edward hadn't hunted because he was there watching over me.
He was worried; I could see it in his eyes. Always carefully observing me and always making sure that we were in physical contact. Only in school when we had separate classes were we forced to part ways. But I knew he was looking over me through peoples minds.
Three weeks and he hadn't hunted. He was growing nervous. He didn't want to leave me but he didn't want to expose me to himself in such a dangerous way. He couldn't go while I slept because I made him promise he wouldn't leave me while I was asleep. Not even to hunt.
A month and a half later he reached his limit when in my sleep I bit myself and began to bleed. In his efforts not to attack me he destroyed almost the whole room and a couple of trees.
He made Alice and jasper come, Frankie allowed them to take me to their house while Edward hunted. They put me in his room hoping that maybe being there might help my fright. Jasper stayed with me, trying to lull me to sleep, but his efforts were wasted on me. He barely managed to calm me down. Edward was back a few hours later, but I could see he was in dire need of a long hunting trip.
Things didn't get better. The nightmare got worse, and every time Edward had to go I almost kicked and screamed and begged on my knees for him not to leave me. Even to me it was getting ridiculous however I couldn't seem to stop myself. When I had to leave for Hogwarts I came back that very same day. I wasted no time over there so I became really disconnected with my friends, not something I was proud of.
They suggested I see a psychologist. I refused.
Finally Frankie decided to just give me a posion to make me go to sleep. It guaranteed me dreamless sleep. With the nightmares so fresh in my mind, it was hard at first for me to stop being so paranoid, but as the nights progressed I began to calm down.
"You know what I think?" I walked behind Edward and wrapped my arms around his neck as he worked on his homework. He looked up at me with a relaxed smile.
"What do you think?"
"I think you need to spend some time with your brothers"
He took my wrists to lead me around in front of him. I sat on the edge of the table, but he wasn't having that he pulled me onto his lap.
"By 'time with my brothers' you mean?"
"I mean that I have kept you with me too long and you deserve to go on an extended hunting trip."
His expression became serious and slightly unsure.
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, you need time for yourself, and I need to go to Hogwarts and see what I've been missing with harry, Ron, and Hermione."
"Yeah your right, about the last part anyways. About me needing time for myself, I've had enough of it. One hundred years to be more specific. Now all I want is to be with you as much as possible."
Yeah because according to him he only has a few years to be with me. I could have told him this but I was in no mood to argue with him.
"Alright, but if you change your mind just tell me alright, I'll stay if you want me to."
I wouldn't lie to myself; I was a bit apprehensive about this. But I was also sure that I was being unreasonable, just me and my insecurities and we both needed this.
"Yeah I'm sure, what's going to happen? Nothing it's just me being silly over nothing"
"Thank you"
"For what."
"For thinking about me even though you shouldn't. Have I ever told you that I really don't deserve you?"
"Yeah you've told me, and I've ignored it. And that's exactly what I'm going to do now"
Everything went fine and I think being away from Edward for the weekend helped me to calm down my nerves a bit.
"Just where do you think you're taking me today Edward Cullen?" I said as he gently pushed me into his.
"To see my family, they've been dying to see you and they want to see for themselves that you are actually better"
I smiled, it was so hard to see them sometimes, right after I got home I began lessons and then homework from both Hogwarts and high school and then some that only left me two weekends every month to see them.
I got ready in record time.
"Come on" I said hurriedly.
"Wow you must be excited to see them" he smiled.
"Yeah I am I haven't seen them in a very long time"
I knew how much it made him happy to see me get along so well with his family, even with Rosalie. He had said that Rosalie found it hard to warm up to people."But who could ever resist you're charm?" he had said.
"They miss you too" he said suddenly he brought me into his arms and carried me down to his car.
"You're a bit slow for my taste" he explained as he set me into the car. "Although if I think about it, you walk faster than the average human"
"Well I guess I tend to run so much that walking at a normal rate just doesn't do it for me anymore" smooth liar I am.
We talked animatedly throughout the ten minute drive; I hadn't had a day this pleasant in a very long time.
As soon as he had turned off the car he was at my side already opening my door.
"Thank you" I smiled. He pulled me in for a kiss, I was surprised but I soon followed along. I pulled away when it got too heated.
"Why?" he said discontent.
"Because you're family can probably hear us"
"So? He tried to capture my lips again; I ducked out of the way.
"So I don't want them to hear, it's embarrassing"
"You're embarrassed of kissing me?" he asked feigning shock.
I pulled him along with me as I walked up to the porch's front steps.
"No, now you're just turning my words around because I never said that"
I opened the door as he turned me around to face him, a mischievous smile fixed in his face.
"Edward!" a voice called.
Before I knew it I had been pushed away from Edwards arms. There in his arms was a woman that was fervently kissing the very same lips that moments ago I had kissed.