well a million thanks to my beta istas isi you are amazing
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Edwards P.O.V.
My eyes beheld her as she retreated to her car and soon left the house and me behind. Regret stupefied me and made me incapable of moving as I kept looking at the empty driveway that she had just departed.
Curious as I was to now she knew Bella, I was more concerned about the intensity of our argument. We had argued before, but never like this. I had never lost my temper and shouted back; usually that was just her. I had never been angry at her, but today I was.
How could she not have told me something as important as this? What else has she been hiding from me? Why would she do it?
I felt as I did when I first met her: Always full of questions. It wasn't a feeling I enjoyed. It was unnerving and maddening. I shouldn't be going through this though. Alex should have told me about this—she had promised. So many times I had asked her to trust me and to tell me everything; I don't think I ever did anything for her to not trust me. To say that it hurt wasn't an understatement. I didn't know what to do anymore for her to trust me. It seemed hopeless to try anymore. Yet I wasn't capable of giving up on her so easily.
But if she wasn't going to tell me how she met Bella, then I would have to find out from someone else. Finding my legs I hurriedly made my way back into the house. My family all looked at me worriedly; all of them worried at the scale that our argument had reached.
"How do you know her?" I looked directly at Bella and attempted to compose myself and rid my face of any expression.
She knew better than to stall for she immediately answered. "She came across me while I hunted. Obviously you saw the effect she has on me. It was hard to resist." Her careless tone said she didn't even attempt to try and resist. My nostrils flared. Otherwise it was impossible to recognize my anger towards both women at the moment. She glanced at me and immediately averted her gaze to the window behind me.
"I'm surprised she wouldn't have told you. To tell you the truth, I thought she was dead. There was so little blood left."
An image of Alex passed through my thoughts. Her small body lay on the forest floor at complete mercy of the sadistic vampire crouching before her. Never had she been as pale as she was now. A pulse barely ran throughout her. Her heart was slow and faint. She had already passed out. She still held that odd beauty of hers, but now it wasn't odd. It wasn't indescribable. It was extreme human beauty. Never had she seemed so human. Her lips were as white as her skin; the soft shiny hair I had known wasn't so emphasized.
I'd seen pictures of her younger self, of course, but I had passed off her sudden change as something associated with puberty. It no longer seemed like that was the reason.
The image vanished.
Had I just seen into Bella's mind?
Before I could ask she answered, "It's my gift. I'm a shield."
Ah, I had heard of those before. I didn't let the knowledge distract me.
"What made you stop?"
She looked at me. "I heard others coming…wizards. I left her there because I figured that with so little blood she wouldn't survive. Doesn't seem like that worked."
"But she isn't a vampire." Carlisle said. For a moment I had forgotten my family was here.
"She's only half."
Rosalie was the last person that I would have thought would know, but she was the one that answered Carlisle's question.
"How do you know?" I looked at her. She had a deep glare etched in her face. I myself sent a glare her way, demanding her to talk.
"Because she told me." I wanted to tear the smugness from her tone.
"Why would she tell you?"
How could Alex confide something this big in her but not in me? What the hell was I doing wrong?
"Maybe because she's closer to me."
"Please," I scoffed. "Are you going to tell me you're her lover?"
"Edward, it's not my fault she doesn't trust you enough to tell you something like this. Really, I don't blame her. Hardly anything passes through your thick skull. You would never understand it."
"Why didn't she tell me?" Alice quietly spoke.
"Because you would have told Edward. Come on Alice, we all know how hard it is for you to keep your mouth shut; especially since you're so close to Edward." Jasper growled at Rosalie and Emmett immediately tensed—ready to defend his mate. The anger was all around us and if we didn't control ourselves someone would get hurt.
"Enough!" Carlisle said firmly. Esme looked alarmed at the hostility that the whole family was emitting. "Rosalie, if you're going to say something, do so in a civilized manner."
"There are a million things I want to say," She glared at me and Bella. "But they're not worth the unneeded oxygen I'm going to waste."
She began to head out.
"Rosalie." My voice was sharp. She immediately turned and gave me a warning glance.
Do not talk to me in that tone.
Ignoring the thought I said, "What did she tell you?"
"You think I'm going to tell you?" She snorted. "Go and solve this with her."
And that is exactly what I would do.
From the corner of my eye I saw Alice stiffen. I searched her mind to see what she was looking at—it wasn't hard.
Alex was pulling to the side and screaming angrily.
"Just my bloody luck!" She said when the car turned off. "Fuck!" She kicked the dashboard angrily.
I blinked as the vision came to an end. I knew where she was stranded and I was already going out the door.
"Edward!"
Bella was immediately in front of me. The rain fell on her face as she looked up with a begging expression.
"Please, just stay with me…I missed you."
A part of me wanted to accede and stay here to make her company and love her the way she deserves to be loved. That part of me longed for me to be her loving husband—the one I had promised to be. But there was a domineering part of me that told me that one, I needed to go and help Alex and two, I needed to talk to her and get everything sorted out.
"I…" It was hard to say no to her, given the way she was looking at me. "I can't..." I finished by exhaling. "I have to talk to her now."
Before she could say anything else I fled like a coward and ran towards the direction in which Alex was at.
Why would she be there anyway? It was far beyond where her house was situated.
As I came nearer, I saw her Volvo. Alex was sitting back with her arms crossed and staring blankly at, I suppose, the rain. Once again I noticed she had failed to lock the car, therefore I easily slid into it. She made no acknowledgement that she had noticed my entrance. She didn't even blink.
"Out of gas?" I tried to lighten her mood, though it would be awfully difficult.
I had always been able to easily ease her anger towards me. This time it was easy to tell that it wouldn't be like that.
"Why did you come all the way here?"
Again, there came no reply from her pursed lips.
I took a hold of one of her hands and kissed it, but she immediately snatched it back.
"Stop it." Her tone was annoyed and it hurt. She had never stopped my advances in such a cold way.
"Talk to me." I pleaded.
"I'm thinking Anthony." She said sternly.
"Yeah, and it drives me crazy not knowing what is going on in there. The least you can do is talk to me."
"Well, I'm not going to."
"You're doing it right now."
"Get out of here."
"I was under the impression you needed gas." I smirked. It got me nowhere.
"I'll call Frankie. Right now I want some alone time."
"And right now I want an explanation." I tried to keep calm, but she was making it extremely difficult for me.
"I don't have to explain myself to you." She snapped.
"Why would you tell Rosalie and not me?"
"Because Rosalie understood me, whereas you wouldn't."
"How do you know that?" What wouldn't I understand?
She snorted. "I know you too well Edward." She turned to glare at me. "It would have been just another excuse not to turn me."
I laughed cynically. "So this is what it's all about in the end? About your mortality?"
"Yeah, I bet it looks like that to you."
Not wanting to see her face, I settled for watching the droplets that fell against the windshield. "Maybe I'd look at it differently if you explained yourself."
"You wouldn't understand." From the corner of my eye I saw her look down and shake her head.
"Then help me understand."
"Edward," She paused and took a deep breath. "I'm mad, I'm tired, I'm hungry, and I'm in no mood to talk to you or be in your presence right now."
I suppose I deserved that and the hurt that ran throughout me. I'd done so many wrongs to her and she would obviously blow up eventually.
"Can I take you home?" It was the least I could do after what I was putting her through.
She hesitated for a moment, but in the end she acceded and allowed me to help her out of the car and rush her into mine.
The ride to her house was quiet. I stopped the car at the driveway and turned to look at her. Already she was making her way out of the car.
"Alex." Her hand stopped on the handle; hesitantly she turned to look at me.
"I'm sorry." It was an earnest apology, but it wasn't enough to be rewarded with indulgence.
She sighed and then got out of the car. As she arrived to the door she turned around, and returned my small smile with a sad one of her own and quickly disappeared through the door. I sighed and listened for a bit. Frankie wasn't home and I could hear Alex rummaging around the kitchen.
After a while she turned quiet and sat on the couch. With that, I headed back to where her car was to bring it back to her.
Alex's P.O.V.
I gave up on the idea of cooking something the moment I opened the drawer with spoons in it. I settled for just taking an apple and curling up on the living room couch.
It was hard being with Edward. I had never felt so defenseless. Not even against Voldemort had I ever felt as weak as I now felt against Bella. I should have left the moment she came back, but I would do just about anything that Edward asked of me. I would bring down the stars for him. And so when he asked me to stay with him I did so without a second thought.
The decision was slowly but surely killing me. But we always choose what is bad for us. It is, unfortunately, in our nature. Edward wasn't good for me, nor was I for him. We knew it, yet we went above and beyond that. Now, at least, I was suffering those consequences. A part of me regretted meeting him. He would bring about my destruction. Cedric's didn't do it; he was the one to fill the cup. Edward was the drop that would spill it.
With every day that passed, it was getting more painful being around him. And now, with what just happened…Edward wouldn't hate me for keeping it from him. No, he was much too good for that, but it hurt him—that much I knew. And that was enough for me to beat myself up and cause me further torment.
How would I look at him when he said goodbye? Because he would choose the better woman for him and Bella was the better woman. She had changed for him, she didn't hurt him with her mere scent and she had already taken his heart—he would definitely choose her over me. How was I expected to live through that? Just how many times a can a heart be broken and still be expected to beat? I do not know, but I know that if I keep taking the wrong decisions I will soon find out.
And through my tormenting thoughts, I remembered that first day I saw him. The murderous yet frightened look he had managed to give me before he hurriedly exited the room.
The memory of that fateful day made my bad side overtake me and it made me hate Edward Cullen for being put on my path. I hated to love him and I hated him for loving me in return. At the moment he had become the worst thing that could have ever happened to me.
In that moment I hated everyone around me. I hated Cedric for leaving me; I hated Frankie for offering to bring me here. I hated Dumbledore for agreeing. I hated everyone that encouraged me to go. I hated Sirius for leaving Grimmauld Place. I hated Alice for asking me to be Edwards's friend. I hated Rosalie for being so supportive. I hated everyone that had approved of Edward, because they hadn't cared enough to see how much he would mess me up; Because not one of them tried to keep me from him. I hated Harry for listening to me. I hated him for taking spontaneous decisions that I would always back up. I hated my parents for bringing me into such a miserable world when all I wished for right now was death. I hated Voldemort for all he took from me and for all the times he had failed to do me in.
Yet, despite all the hate inside me, I didn't move a finger. I let it all burn at my insides and eat me alive as I had often done in my greater days of solitude and sorrow. Because as always, I deserved the feeling I was getting. Because of all the people that I hated in the end, it was me whom I hated the most. I hated myself for every one of my idiotic decisions. I hated myself for hating so many people. I hated myself for blaming everyone for my own faults. Hate is a sin, and I had to pay the price with this pain. Boy was it proving hard to endure it.
Frankie was my salvation; a few hours later he returned from work.
"What you watching?" He asked when he arrived.
"Television." I said lamely.
"Oh." He began to make his way upstairs when I heard him stop.
"How about turning the TV on?" There's the sarcasm that made me pop a small smile.
"I don't want to watch what's on TV." I said.
"Okay, let me go dump my things in my room and then you and I will talk. I can sense the need for one."
I didn't say anything. There wasn't a need to talk; it was the last thing I wanted to do. But my hate had toned down with the hours. Talking was the least I could do seeing as not too long ago I had hated him with all my heart.
He was back quickly. He settled himself next to me wrapped and arm around my shoulders. I felt mean when I shook off his arm, but I couldn't stand any sort of contact at the moment.
"Okay…" He said when I shook him off. "Does you're ill mood have something to do with a certain penny head?"
I almost laughed at Edwards's nickname.
"Yeah you could say that."
"What happened?"
"Ugh," I groaned. "It's just…well, I officially met his wife today…"
"He took you to see her?" The disbelief in his face was comical.
"No," I scoffed. "But we ran into her at his house. And you know I just had an argument with Edward and well, I just don't want to see him right now."
He gave a low whistle. "Never in a million years did I think I would ever hear you say that. Your argument must have been pretty bad."
"I don't want to talk about it."
"Are you hungry?"
"No, I'm tired." I lied and headed upstairs to my room.
For hours I laid on my bed trying to form coherent thoughts, but they were all over the place. None were clear enough to make any sense of and when they did become clear I suddenly changed my train of thought to thoughts that had no relation to each other whatsoever. If Edward could hear my thoughts he would go mad right now.
The dark engulfed the light as night fell on the town of Forks. In the time I had been scattered on my bed, I had only heaved myself from it to change my clothes and grab another apple. Then I took my previous position. I felt better now. I wasn't mad—that was definitely something.
I truly was tired, but now I wanted to talk to Edward. My bad side won battles but not wars. Now I wanted Edward at my side. I wanted his embrace and his kisses.
I debated whether I should call him or not, but then a thought came to me.
I seriously doubted that he had done as I had asked and stayed away from my room. He must have come sometimes. There were times when I woke up at night and had the strange feeling that I was being watched. No doubt it was Edward.
So this time I stayed awake, waiting to see if he would come. By midnight I had begun to lose hope. Then sometime around one as I was drifting into a light slumber I felt a gush of cold air. Having my back toward the balcony doors, I smiled.
I knew my Edward like the back of my hand.
Edward's P.O.V.
I was sure that she was sleeping, or else I wouldn't have gone up. But as soon as I entered her room, I realized that the deep breaths that indicated she was asleep were gone. Instead, I heard her heart beat speed up and her breathing remained even but not deep.
Surely she knew who it was, but I still turned back to make my way out. It was the second time she caught me in her room when I was unwanted. What was happening to me?
"Stay." She ordered when I opened the door again. Her soft yet commanding voice sent shivers down my spine. Was she still angry at me? I hoped not or else I wouldn't hear the end of this.
I kept my eyes on her shape as I closed the door. She hadn't moved a single inch. If I was human I would have thought she was sleeping.
"About time you got here. I was beginning to think you wouldn't come." I was surprised to hear that there was nothing negative in her voice—just tired happiness. I became relaxed and overjoyed instantly. It was amazing how such little things she did could make me burst with happiness. To this day I couldn't understand how this innocent little witch could have so much control over me.
She turned her body and looked at me. The hardness that I had last seen in her eyes was gone, and just a guilty pleading look was left behind—one that no angel should wear.
She patted the spot next to her. Very willingly, I rushed into her bed and held her to me. It had been too long since I had been able to do this. Her actions around me had become hesitant and unsure. She hadn't held to me like this in a long time and I wasn't surprised to find that I had been in dire need of this love that she had kept from me.
For now, I felt like the old Alex had come back and I hoped she would stay. The hope was useless though, because I knew that she wouldn't remain for long. Tomorrow she would be back to the unsure girl she had become.
"I'm sorry." Her voice was low and steady.
"Don't apologize…just explain to me why."
"To tell you the truth…I don't know why I didn't tell you at first. But then I realized that if I told you, you would say no when I asked you to turn me. Why would you say yes if there was no need? You would do anything to make me keep as much of my humanity as possible." She looked up at me with wide eyes. "Isn't that true?"
She knew me too well. I wanted to tell her no, that it wasn't true. But I knew that it was true and so did she. My silence confirmed her thoughts.
"But if you got what you wanted, then why would you want to turn into a full vampire?"
"Because I'm still vulnerable to you. You could still easily end my life. You know it—my smell is a constant reminder of it. It's something that you would have to battle for eternity. It would be a constant barrier between us and I certainly don't want to have to go through that forever."
I could see her reasoning now. And I could understand why she would feel the need to keep this from me.
"I don't want you to hurt forever Edward." Her voice became a mere whisper. "I don't want you to be in pain every time you kiss me—every time you're near me. I don't want that."
"I prefer my pain to yours Alex. I would never want to share the life I have with you because it's hard. I know it; I lived through the hardest years and you don't deserve that."
"You and I have very different views on what I do and don't deserve. Moreover, if you lived through it then I can do it too… I understand the consequences that my choice will have, but all I want is to be your equal and to have a healthy relationship with you."
She was too blinded by what she wanted to see—that it wouldn't be all rainbows. She wouldn't hate me for subjecting her to my life. She was too good to hate me, but it would kill me to see what I had done to her.
The thoughts distracted me from forming response to what she had said.
"I don't regret not telling you. I just regret that you found out. You weren't meant to find out…ever." Well, at least she was being honest now.
I would have expected so. I never thought she would think of telling me. In her mind it probably didn't matter.
"I'm glad I found out. It's unnerving knowing that Rosalie was aware of this but not me."
"Well I had to tell someone. And it would have made Rosalie understand why I was doing it. She was upset about my decision."
"I'm upset at your decision of not telling me."
She looked down with an apologizing smile. "I can't please everyone."
Despite myself I chuckled. "I suppose that's true. But you could have pleased me instead of her."
"That's selfish Edward!" She playfully scolded me.
"It should come as no surprise to you to know that I am essentially a selfish creature."
Her look became measuring as she ran a soft finger down my jaw.
"It's in the nature of any organism to be selfish Edward. You're selfish, I'm selfish. There are just those that…embrace that flaw more than others. You're not one of them. If you were, your selfishness would have compelled you to kill me in exchange for my blood…"
A shudder ran through me at the thought of it.
"You just have to learn to master your selfishness. Very few are capable of it, but you are very nearly there. I can see it in you."
With a soft speculative smile, I leaned towards her face and softly ran my nose and cheek over her lovely face, pressing soft kisses on her cheeks, forehead, and eyelids. Her warm breaths connected with my cold skin and created a wonderful feeling. Her heartbeat sped up as my breath fanned across her face, she softly inhaled it.
"Deceiving little witch." I murmured in a teasing tone against her satin skin. "What have you done to me? Your beauty blinds me and makes me helpless. It leaves me at you're complete mercy."
She turned her face to place a soft kiss upon my cheek. "I'm afraid I have stolen you. You are no longer your own person; you are a part of me."
Reaching the corner of her crimson lips I whispered. "I love you as my own flesh…"
I understood now what Edward Rochester had meant when he uttered those words. I knew how he had felt. I couldn't help but think that our situations were fairly similar. Oh the irony.
She turned her face to meet my lips in the most emotional kiss we had shared since Bella returned.
"In fact," I whispered against her lips, "I do not even love my own flesh as much as I love you."
"I was truly blessed and cursed the moment you crossed my path Edward Cullen." She said with a short laugh. "To love you is to love pain but it is also to love, Love itself. I'll take it all—the good and the bad—if it means I can have you and love you for even one more hour…"
Somewhere deep inside me I knew this worried me greatly. But in that moment the feelings on the surface were the ones I gave into with immense pleasure.
We spent a bit more time basking in loving touches and words that we had denied each other for far too long. We hadn't felt this free in a very long time.
Finally, after singing for her, she drifted into a calm slumber. Her head rested on my chest as my arm wound around her to keep her close to my body. A relaxed smile painted her lovely expression. I thought about what she had told me tonight. She didn't deceive when she said she loved me, for if she did she would not be willing to give into a painful life just so I could be free of pain around her. How could God let this little creature remain with me when she was in so much danger of becoming a demon like me?
Bella's face came into my thoughts; an image of who she had been and what she became all because of me. Would I do that for Alex too?
With repugnance, I reminded myself that it was not the time to consider ruining Alex's life further. Given the circumstances, I doubted she still sought for joining me in a full life of vampirism.
No, I could not allow myself to have such thoughts when there were bigger things at hand.
Alex's P.O.V.
"It really is a small world." I said as I swallowed a piece of strawberry filled crepe. I had finally taken him up on the offer of taking me to breakfast. "To begin with, I never knew who my attacker had been until Bella arrived."
"What do you mean?" He interrupted scrunching up his face in a questioning expression.
"I had no recollection of what happened when she attacked me. I just remember waking up in the hospital wing, which isn't uncommon for me" I smirked at myself and Edward shook his head in mocking disbelief.
"Dumbledore explained to me what had happened and he told us of the existence of vampires. Harry knows about my situation too, naturally. After I realized how deep my feelings ran for Cedric, I told him too."
I pursed my lips and frowned. I shouldn't have told him that.
"I think the reason you don't feel cold to me is because of that. It's also the reason for that thing I can do with memories. But it really hasn't affected me negatively."
"Isn't it odd that you could remember anything, but you couldn't remember that night you were attacked?"
"Yeah, I thought about it often, but I could never come up with a reasonable explanation for it."
"So you remembered when you saw Bella?"
"Yeah, I remembered my reason for being there…and I think Bella's own memories helped me piece together my own."
"Why were you there?"
"I was taking an angry walk. I had just had a major discussion with some Ravenclaws that were insulting me because they were under the belief that Harry and I had cheated our way into the Triwizard tournament. That year almost the whole school turned on us. So being the reckless fool I am, I walked into the Forbidden Forest. Boy, did I learn my lesson that night!"
I sighed as I began having 'what if' thoughts.
"I will tell you this Edward: I disliked your wife to begin with, but now I hate her."
"That's to be expected." He ran his hand through his hair as he looked down at the table. "I wasn't expecting you to be best friends with her. Definitely not, but this revelation apparently seemed to worsen the situation…"
"I'm over it. What's done is done and there's no point to mope about it."
I could feel Edwards gaze on me as I used my fork to play with a stray strawberry.
"Exactly what made you mad yesterday?"
I didn't expect him to ask me that. I set down my fork and rested my elbow on the table and leaned my head on my hand.
"Well to begin, I was mad that you stopped me from causing her some serious damage. But really, I just felt like you were kicking me out of the house when you carried me out. It made me feel horrible."
"I didn't mean-"
"I know." I cut him off. "I know you were just trying to avoid a fight. Don't worry, I'm over it. It just made me mad at the moment. I didn't have coherent thoughts. You would never kick me out of your house; you're too much of a gentleman to do that. And I forgive you for not letting me hurt her."
"The thought of you physically hurting a vampire is comical you know." He smirked.
"I bet it seems comical to you lot." I sighed and leaned back. Looking around the restaurant, I caught the waitress eyeing Edward suggestively. "Okay I'm done can we go?"
Edward raised a stern eyebrow at me and nodded over to my unfinished food.
"If I eat it, I'm going to throw it up." I warned, but still picked up my fork ready to take another bite. Edward's hand stopped me.
"Fine." He said in defeat. I grinned widely at him and he rolled his eyes.
And then the damn waitress arrived almost running. Her big appreciative smile was set on Edward as she asked if we were done.
"Yes were done." I said brusquely and Edward left the money on the table. I immediately took his hand and began to make my way out with him following.
"Have a nice day!" She called. I took a deep breath as Edward politely responded to her.
Chuckling, he wound his arm around my waist, pulled me in and kissed my head.
"Come on my little time bomb." He teased.
He watched as I put on my seatbelt. When I looked up at him he was grinning.
"You like it don't you?" I said, guessing the reason behind his coy smile.
"What?"
"You like to see me jealous."
"Of course I do. It brings me great pleasure to see how possessive of me you are." I laughed and shook my head at him.
"Would you accompany me to the mall?" he said. "I've been meaning to go for some time now."
"Then why didn't you ask Alice? She would be delighted to come."
"Yes, but Alice would bring along a camping tent with her."
I laughed. I could believe it. "Okay then."
"Seriously Edward? More music?" I said as we headed into the music store.
"One can never have enough music."
"True."
As he became immersed into the latest music I wandered away from him and looked around. I wondered if he'd noticed, but the man loved his music so there was a possibility that he hadn't thought it likely.
"Hi." Said a male voice from behind me. I turned to see a friendly looking guy with mousy brown hair and plain black eyes. I'd say he was sixteen at the least. "I'm Erin."
"Alex." I said smiling as I shook his hand.
"Nice…you like Franz Ferdinand?" He nodded over to the shelf I had been observing.
"I'm not familiar with them to tell you the truth."
"Oh they're good. You should listen to them."
"Thanks."
I could tell he was looking for a something to start a conversation with me. Seeing as how I liked him and I was in a good mood I decided to help him out.
"So, are you alone?" I asked turning back to him. He responded enthusiastically, happy that I was cooperating, I suppose.
"Nah, I come with some friends, but I ditched them. They're over there."
He pointed to the store across from here, a comic store, but I couldn't see the friends he was talking about.
"You're not a comic's guy?" I guessed.
"I am, but I like music much more. What about you, are you alone?"
"No, she's with her boyfriend." A slightly menacing but otherwise calm voice said from behind me. Edward came to my side and wrapped his arm around my waist. Erin's eyes roamed to where Edwards arm was at.
"Erin, this is my boyfriend, Edward." I said, though I doubted that Erin wanted to know. Edward nodded tersely at him.
"Oh…" He said. Just then, someone called him from outside. We all turned to look and we saw who I suppose were his friends. Erin turned back to me and smiled. "Well I have to go, but maybe I'll see you around?"
"Yeah, maybe, nice meeting you."
He smiled again and glanced at Edward then left.
I turned and smiled hugely at Edwards scowl. "I see why you like it when I get jealous." His mood was slightly uplifted, but he was still irritated as we went throughout the mall.
"What's wrong with you?" I said after some time.
"Everyone's staring…" He grumbled.
"I would have thought you would be used to that?"
"Yes, I'm used to the staring girls…and the occasional guy, but you just can't help but draw attention to yourself can you?" He jokingly glared at me.
"Oh, so this is the reason we barely ever come to the mall, huh?"
"No, I love to show you off!"
I laughed.
"But it's time to go home." He said and we walked out of the mall.
Edward parked his car on the driveway and turned to look at me.
"Close your eyes." He said. Giving him a suspicious look, I did as I was told. Seconds later I flinched as something cold made contact with the warm skin at my neck.
Then I felt his lips on mine. "I don't know what you're going to think of it, but I thought you should always carry him with you." He whispered. "Open your eyes."
He smiled and gestured for me to take a look in the mirror.
It was an ornate silver key, with a silver heart sitting on top of it. It was held by a long thin silver chain. It was beautiful, but I didn't understand what he had meant. He sensed my confusion and he leaned over to me.
"May I?" He said reaching to the chain. I nodded and I observed as he pried open the heart on top of the key. It was a locket, I realized. He gestured for me to look at it. A knot formed in my throat when I saw a smiling Cedric inside of it. I had reached the point where I could look at Cedric's pictures without breaking down. Every time I saw his face, something inside me pulled, but it didn't make me so sad anymore. Right now, the source of my emotion was that it had come from Edward.
"The necklace was just a container for the real present, the wrapper you could say. I talked to Frank so that he could get me a picture of Cedric. It took some time, but finally we got a response and a picture from his parents."
"Oh Edward…" I whispered. The other side of the locket was empty. "And where are you?"
"I'm here." He said smiling.
Taking his hand I placed it upon my heart. "You're here. But I still want you in here." I pointed to the necklace. Before he said anything else I leaned in and kissed him.
"Merry Christmas..." He murmured against my lips. With a gasp I pulled back.
"It's Christmas!" I exclaimed, shocked that I had forgotten. Edward laughed.
"No normal human forgets that it's Christmas Alex."
"Vampires do?"
"Well after many decades it blurs…especially when there's nothing to ask for."
I kissed him again and smiled. "Thank you. I loved my incomplete present. You were one picture short."
He laughed. "I wasn't sure if you would want me there."
"Are you mental? Of course I do. Come on, I've got presents to wrap. I forgot to send them out. Damn, I need wrapping paper."
"Frankie has some, come on." We hurried out of the car. I definitely wasn't expecting anyone in the house, so I was shocked when I opened the door and found all the Weasleys (except Percy and Charlie) were in the living room along with Remus, Harry, Frankie, and Hermione.
"Merry Christmas!" They all sang. Edward and I smiled and went to greet everyone. This would have been perfect if the rest of the Cullen's could be here, but I knew they wouldn't be. They wouldn't want to leave Bella alone and they wouldn't have brought Bella either.
"Oh Alex, we were waiting for you two!" Mrs. Weasley said with a warm smile. "I prohibited this lot from opening their presents so we could wait for you two."
My eyes widened and I looked at Edward.
"Would you excuse us? Alex actually forgot to send out the presents from both of us. We'll go get them."
There were a couple of groans of protest. Edward hurried me up to my room.
"Take out the presents I'll go get the wrapping paper." Without wasting time he left the room. I began taking out armfuls of presents that we had gotten a month back. We had decided to shop early for them as there wouldn't be much later on.
Edward came back in record time with tape scissors and rolls of wrapping paper. We both sat on the floor and began to wrap. When I finished the first, he already had three done. Frankie came shortly afterward and taught me a simple charm to make the presents wrap themselves. We finished in a total of five minutes. We all high fived each other when we were done.
As Frankie left the room, I took my backpack and dumped it of its contents and began stuffing the Cullen's presents in there. Edward and I had decided to hold the gifts we had gotten for them in Diagon Alley until Christmas.
"Edward, could you run over to your house and give them these?" I asked as I packed them. "Tell them I wish them a Happy Christmas."
A somber mood settled in the room. The Cullen's should have been here celebrating with all of us. Yet, one person was keeping us apart.
"I'll tell them. They wanted to be here, and they wished you all a Happy Christmas." He said. I nodded. Edward took my face in his hands and tilted my head so I would look at him.
"They love you, but they couldn't leave her either." He said gently. It pained him to not be able to celebrate with his family either. That made me feel like I was keeping him from his family too.
"You should stay with them." I said. He sighed and shook his head. "Really, you should. I think you've neglected her too much."
"I'll go and take the presents, but I'm going to come back." He promised.
"Edward, you already spent the whole morning with me! I think you should be with them too."
"There will be other Christmases." He said.
Maybe he didn't mean it like that, but it sounded to me as if that meant that we wouldn't have any more Christmases together. It was most likely true, so I accepted, wanting to make the most out of this day with him. He took the bag and left through the balcony.
I sat on the edge of the bed and tried to rid myself of the sad thoughts. Edward was back around ten minutes later and he helped me carry the presents down to the living room where everyone was waiting excitedly.
"About time you got down here!" Fred said.
"Be quiet." I chided playfully.
We all eagerly opened our presents.
"Alex?" Edward said from next to me.
"Yeah?"
He motioned for me to come closer then he took a hold of my necklace and opened it. He easily fitted a small picture into it. When I looked at it, there on the other side was Edward wearing a radiant smile.
"Alice felt like you would want it." He explained.
"Oh that Alice!" I said smiling. "What would I ever do without her?"
"She was upset."
My expression turned concerned. "Why?"
"Because you never told her of your human status."
"I didn't think she would be hurt…"
"Yeah, well she thought you trusted her."
"I do, but Rosalie was rather upset with me for pressuring you about turning me. I had to make her see why."
"See, you have to explain that to her."
"I will."
"Other than that, she loved her present. She's just wondering where and when she's going to wear it."
"Well, I have it understood that all the Cullen's are invited to Fleur and Bill's wedding."
"She'll be ecstatic."
I turned around to grab a parcel and handed it to him.
"My present to you." I explained. I noticed his stern look and quickly covered his mouth so he wouldn't say anything. "It's not as great as what you gave me. I had no idea on what to get you, but I tried my best."
"I don't recall seeing this parcel…" He said.
"That's because I wrapped it a long time ago." I grinned.
He looked down and began tearing off the paper. He laughed when he saw it.
"You really didn't know what to get me, did you?" he teased. I smiled and shook my head.
When I went to Diagon Alley, anything that I saw that he would possibly like, I bought. He didn't notice because he thought it was for me. I had gotten him two books. One of which was Hogwarts, a History. Not being able to contain myself, I had bought blood flavored lollipops for all of the Cullen's. I got him a couple of journals, quills, and ink bottles. It was my knowledge that he enjoyed writing and actually kept a few notebooks that had parts of his life recorded.
"Thank you." He said kissing my nose. "I think this is the best I got. Although Emmett's whoopee cushion is pretty close to being the best." He grinned.
I laughed. Only Emmett would think of that.
"What did you get him?"
"Boom in the box."
I burst out laughing. Fred and George decided to make the traditional jack in the box into a more grown up toy. When they winded, it exploded in the persons face and caused a ten minute blindness that would scare a person to death. A really mean toy for those that couldn't take it, but it was meant for people like Emmett.
"Do you think it will work on him?"
"Well the explosion will startle him. I don't know about the blindness, but in any case I wrote him a note saying that it will go away. I just hope he reads it before he opens the box."
"I think you just declared war on him!"
He laughed and agreed.
The rest of the day was pleasant. When it was dinner time, Edward made sure to fill my plate to the brim and he along with everyone forced me to eat everything. Fred and George wanted me to actually lick the plate clean.
Harry pulled me aside to tell me of his earlier meeting with the Minister of Magic. To that, I had nothing to say except to congratulate my brother for his smart response.
How are things with Edward?
Same, but I'll talk to you about it later. Let's just enjoy the rest of this Christmas.
When they all left, I asked Edward to take me to his house. He was hesitant about it.
"Please." I begged. "I'll even leave my wand if it makes you feel better."
He agreed on that one condition.
When we went into the house, everyone chanted a loud merry Christmas. I said hi and thanked everyone for their presents and they did the same.
I gave a startled jump I heard a thundering crash and laughs. Edward and Emmett where having a heated fight that Edward seemed to be having the upper hand in.
Esme pulled me back away from the fight.
"Boys!" She shouted just as they broke her coffee table. They both stopped in mid punch and looked up. Immediately, Edward went upright and calmed down, but the excitement in his eyes wasn't tamed. The same went for Emmett.
"Not in the house or with company." Carlisle said sternly.
"This is war Masen!" Emmett said using Edwards's real last name to give emphasis.
Despite the commotion they had caused, everyone chuckled.
"Gave us a fright when Emmett shrieked that he couldn't see!" Carlisle laughed.
"And like you asked, Edward, I caught it on tape." Jasper waved a video camera at him.
"Perfect!" Edward said delighted.
I looked around and noticed Bella descending the stairs. Her eyes locked with mine and immediately turned away. She went over to stand on Edwards's side. Edward tensed and didn't move away, but didn't touch her either.
"Hello Alexandra." She smiled unpleasantly.
"Bella." I nodded curtly. "Alice, can I talk to you outside?"
Alice looked surprised; not expecting this but still followed me out.
"Edward told me you were upset?" I said as we sat on the chairs at the porch.
"I never planned on telling Rosalie. In fact, I wasn't going to tell any of you—not even Edward. But Rosalie was so upset at my decision that I wanted to show her that there was nothing to be upset about. And in a way, I was hesitant. Not that you would tell Edward, but that you might slip and he would read your thoughts. I didn't know if you would think that I should tell him, and if you disagreed with my choice of not telling him, then it would have been easier for you to accidentally slip. The last thing I wanted was to hurt your feelings. I'm really sorry."
"All is forgiven. I felt worse when Rosalie said that you thought that I would go snitching to Edward."
"Not snitching, slipping." I said. She laughed and hugged me.
Edward and I left shortly after that.
It was a good Christmas. Definitely better than last years'. It was my first and last Christmas, it seemed, with Edward. Despite this, I slept with a broad smile on my face and held my necklace to my chest.
Two weeks later, Edward, Alice and Jasper left for a hunting trip on the weekend. Deciding that I was too lazy to do anything, I sat down on the living room and watched movies while I ate junk. Frankie had been called in to work for the morning, so I was all alone.
"Hello." A soft voice said behind me.
As I let out a horrible jump and scream, I tilted the popcorn bowl towards me and its contents spilled all over me. A mocking laugh rang behind me. I turned sharply and saw no one. Immediately, I felt the couch sink.
There on the couch sat Bella, looking perfectly at ease. She smiled at me sweetly.
"How did you get in?" I asked coldly. My gaze flickered over to my wand that was on the coffee table. She seemed in control…or at least I really hoped she was in control.
"You really should get into the habit of closing the balcony doors in your room. Although, I must say that, it wouldn't stop me or any vampire for that matter."
"Can't you knock like a person with manners?"
"You wouldn't have let me into your home."
"I will let you know that I am more polite than you think. I'm certainly more polite than you because I would have let you in."
It wasn't a lie either. I would have been interested in knowing why she decided to grace me with her presence.
"Is there something you wanted?" I said turning back to the TV.
"What do you think is going to happen?"
"Okay, you have my attention." I took the remote and turned off the TV.
"Do you think that he is going to pick you?" Her expression wasn't a sneer or anything of the sort. It was sincere and soft. It was as if she talked, not to an enemy, but to a friend. It was as if she were gently trying to convince a dear friend that the boyfriend that dumped her wasn't worth it and that she could do so much better. That's the way she talked to me. Despite the positions we were in, there was no animosity between us at that moment.
"No." I said looking down at my hands.
"Then what are you still doing here child?"
"He asked me to stay."
"And how is that helping you or him? It's only tormenting the three of us. Though, I doubt that you care whether I'm hurting or not."
"I'm not heartless you know!" I said, annoyed at the way in which she depicted me. Granted, I didn't like her. It didn't mean that I didn't care how much she was hurting. She didn't deserve what she was getting because though I hated to admit it, she was a much better person and than me. She went a hundred years looking for her husband and she comes home to find him in the arms of another. I pitied her misfortune and I she didn't deserve all the pain she was going through.
"Damn…I see why Edward likes you." She muttered.
"I bet that makes this talk harder for you."
"It makes it hard for me to hate you."
"If it helps, I hate you…to some extent."
She laughed.
"But I see where you're going." I said to her, trying to bring her back to our previous and more devastating conversation.
"I'm better for him. You know it as much as I do."
She was right in that too.
"With me, he won't hurt. He won't be in danger—none of them will be in danger. I belong to him and he, to me. I gave everything I had for him Alex. I gave my life to have eternity next to my husband."
"I know that."
"Then why won't you leave? Don't make any more memories to take with you Alex, because it will only hurt more when you leave."
"Why do you love him?" I cut her off. She seemed taken aback but still answered.
"What kind of a question is that?"
"Just a question. Why do you love him?"
She scoffed and looked away. "I don't know."
"No person can love another if they don't know why they love them. It may seem like that, but it's just an obsession."
"Why do you love him then?" She retorted.
That was too easy, but if I didn't phrase it right it could be unclear.
"Because…he sees past the millions of flaws and makes them seem like they're nothing. He makes me feel like I actually deserve something good…he loves me despite everything else. Not to mention that he knows what it's like to lose someone you love. But that's not really the biggest thing.
"I could tell you all the reasons for why I love Edward and I would never finish…but I think that the main reason is because he's extremely far from being perfect, but even to me it sometimes seems like he's the closest thing there is to perfection. I love him so much because he's never going to hate me or think badly of me no matter how much I mess up. There's more, like I said, but those are the main reasons."
"It's time for you to leave." She said shaking her head.
"Yeah." I agreed.
Her expression turned calculating, as if trying to see something in my eye.
"Will you?" Her tone was weary.
"Will I what?"
"Will you leave?"
There was anger now. In one moment the easy conversation had changed into a ticking time bomb. All just because I told her she was obsessed. Well excuse me for speaking my mind.
"I don't know…" Truly I didn't know. I had to do a lot of thinking.
"Think about how much better off we'll all be without you." Oh, now she was trying to anger me.
"I still don't know."
"Alex, do you have hopes that Edward will choose you? Let me tell you that Edward doesn't tend to put himself before others. He won't want to ruin what's left of your so called life, whereas I am already doomed. He already took mine and married me. He can let you go easily—there's nothing to tie him down to you. It's not the same. He's going to pick me."
"Yes, but I wonder if he's going to do it out of pity rather than love." I said coldly. Aware of what was coming next I lunged myself off of the couch and grabbed my wand just as she tried to jump on me. My hand wrapped around the handle of my wand just as her hands caught me. In a swift motion I turned my body and pointed my want at her throat just as she was about to take a bite out of me.
She stopped; her face was inches from mine. Her eyes trailed down to my wand.
"I'm the reason Edward learned what love is." She said in a low dangerous voice. "The first love is always the most beautiful Alex, because everything is new and fresh. He will always love me more than you. The only reason he fell for you was because he took pity on you. I have it understood your boyfriend died. He only took notice because you were a stupid, depressed girl."
I pressed the tip of my wand harder against her granite skin.
"Get out of my house." My voice shook with anger.
"Get out of his life."
"Why are you still going on about that? You and I both know that I'm going to lose anyway. I know it so well I won't even fight for Edward, Bella. Because we all know I will lose. I don't see where your insecurity comes from."
"Because Edward is always with you!" She shrieked. "He will barely talk to me; my husband hasn't kissed me since the day I came back! But he will kiss a little slut like you!"
"Get out of my house and control yourself Bella or so help me I will curse you."
"I'd like to see you try." With her eyes, she challenged me. She dared me and I wasn't going to back down.
The door barged open and in came Rosalie and Emmett. Both were charging at us so fast I barely saw them. Before I knew it, I was struggling against Rosalie and Bella against Emmett.
"Where's Edward?"Rosalie shouted to Emmett.
My wand was still in my hand. I continued to struggle, but managed to point it at Bella without either Emmett or Rosalie noticing.
Bella took my life and now she was taking Edward from me. Forget what I said about not hating her—I wanted her dead!
"Crucio!"
It hadn't worked with Bellatrix, but that was because I had never hated anyone so much in my life. I meant it this time; I wanted to make her feel just a fraction of what I was feeling. Her pained screams filled the room as she crumpled into Emmett's arms.
I didn't notice when he entered the house, but suddenly my wand had been snatched from me and I stared into the glaring eyes of Edward.
The moment the wand was out of my hand, everything, including Bella's screams, subsided.
And for that second I could see the hate in Edwards's eyes. Hate and anger that were directed to me. I knew I had truly lost right then and there. That small fire of hope was extinguished with one look into his cold eyes.
A sound distracted me from Edwards frightening stare. Bella whimpered and shook against Emmett's body. I felt no pity for her—no more. I'd gone through much worse than that.
Edward rushed to her side and took her into his arms. She sobbed and hid her face into his neck.
"Have you lost your mind Alex?" He hissed.
"No Edward." My tone was simple and dangerously calm. "I simply lost my patience."
Turning my head over to Rosalie I tried to shake off her restraining hands. When she didn't budge, I told her to let go of me. Edward nodded at her and she removed her hands from my arms.
"Give me my wand." I told Edward.
"Not until Bella is out of here."
"Well get her the fuck out of here! Just who the hell does she think she is to come into my house without any invitation? She asked for it and she deserves what she got!"
"Alex calm down." His tone was softer and soothing, but I was too mad to register its effects.
I never noticed when the rest of the Cullen's had arrived, but Esme was on my side and she put a reassuring hand on my shoulder.
"Please…" She said.
"No Esme! Not only does she force her way in here, but she also comes here and tells me to leave this place because everyone would be better off without me because Edward has her back, and then she calls me a slut! I won't stand any of it anymore."
Bella jumped out of Edwards arms. And Edward was already in front of me in defense.
"Well it's true! Nobody here needs you. He's got me back now! You're just a nuisance that is causing this family to fall apart. A stupid little girl who knows nothing about what it is to love!"
"Don't talk to her like that!" Edward warned her.
"Okay, everyone needs to cool down and stop shouting." Carlisle decided to interfere.
I was about to explode. Moving away from Edward I headed up to the stairs and let out an earsplitting scream of anger. In my anger I heard something explode downstairs.
"I'm done." I growled as I got into my room and started snatching clothes out of the closet.
Edward stood at the door jamb watching me angrily shove things into my trunk. I tried to pay no attention to him, but his eyes never left me. It's like his gaze was burning holes into my back.
Finally, I had enough. "What!" I shouted at him as I turned to glare at him, but the moment my eyes touched upon his expression I was unable to hold my glare. Instead, I quickly looked down at the floor, unable to see his paralyzed expression.
"You said you wouldn't leave." It was an automatic sentence with no emotion behind it.
I turned my back to him, suddenly afraid of what I was doing to him.
"I think…you trust me too much…"
"You pro-"
"Empty." I cut him off hastily. "Just empty promises Edward…that's all you'll ever hear from me."
I was a liar and a bloody good one at that. My promises were rubbish, meaningless. It was time he understood that.
I kept going around the room getting things from here and there, carefully avoiding his eyes. I had enough memories to haunt me for a lifetime. The last I wanted was to have that shattered expression of his in my mind for the rest of my life. Roughly I wiped away a tear that had slipped out and I quietly sniffled as I kept packing things.
As I closed my trunk, that was now completely full, I struggled to close it. I became aware of Edward standing behind me. I felt his hands grab at my waist and his breath hit my neck as he leaned in closer to me. Goosebumps arose in my skin as I felt his lips at my neck. One of his hands left my waist and gently tilted my head back so his lips could reach my throat. My breath came heavy as he made his way up my jaw and neared my lips.
On instinct, I closed my eyes and tilted my head to the side to meet him. He hugged me around my waist as he tenderly kissed me. I turned my body for better access, fully aware that this would be the last kiss. The moment I turned, I realized how desperate he was becoming as his kiss became rougher. He put a hand behind my neck to bring me closer.
It was the most horrible kiss we had ever shared. Because on his part, his kiss was begging, urging pained and desolate. While on my part, my kiss was a final goodbye.
And I thought…his family is down there waiting to see how things turn out. His wife is down there probably burning in misery at the knowledge that her husband is just upstairs kissing another woman. Edwards enraged expression came into my mind and I quickly pulled away from him. I pulled away from his embrace all the way across the other side of the room.
"Please…" He pleaded.
I shook my head. "Don't beg Edward…you can do much better than that—you can do better than me…you have someone better than me."
"Don't hurt me like this…"
My eyes flashed angrily towards him.
"Me hurt you?" I mocked and abruptly became serious. "I think our pain is mutual Edward. You're not the only victim. For months I have endured everything Edward—the fact that when you're not here you're with her. I don't blame you for that because it's your duty as a husband, but you know what Edward? You could have sent me away that moment! You could have just told me to go and never come back, but instead you were selfish and you asked me to stay. You asked me to stay and be a burden to everyone to stay and mess up your family—your matrimony.
"You asked me to stay and burn to the ground as I watch you ultimately choose her…" I paused for a moment and before he could start talking I continued, "Maybe I'm being selfish by leaving you right now, but you were more selfish by asking me to stay here. I'm leaving to let you be with your wife. I'm not leaving to run away from the pain—it's useless to try; it's the one thing that I can't hide away from like a coward."
Never had I talked to him like that. I'd always done my best to keep from hurting him and now I was more or less throwing knives at him with no mercy. I had hit a new low and I wasn't proud of it.
"So don't make it out to be like you're the only one getting hurt. When I know that next month you'll be all smiles with her and I'll be all but forgotten…and I really hope that that's true because then I'll know that my departure was worth it."
"You're wrong." He said quietly I didn't miss the way his voice broke at the end.
Putting my hands on my hips I arched an eyebrow and said, "Excuse me?"
"If you think I'm going to be happy about your departure, you are very sadly mistaken…I've shown you nonstop how much you mean to me. You ought to know that what you say is an impossibility."
Though his body trembled, he reached over to my trunk and easily shut it and locked it.
"But I know I'm hurting you…and I prefer my pain rather than yours. If leaving is what's best for you…" He took in a sharp breath and slowly exhaled, "Then…it's best that…you leave…"
And just like that my heart seemed to disappear. I could almost see Edward feasting upon it…tearing and clawing and mangling it.
I walked right up to him and gently placed my hand on his cheek. He lowered his agonizing gaze to my own blank expression.
"You have, no idea…how much I curse the day I met you." the words were harshest I had spoken in my life, but they were set in the most loving and gentle tone ever spoken by me. Yet, it was still another low blow for him.
I moved around him and made my way to the door. With my hand on the handle I heard his voice quietly speak to me for the last time.
"I don't." He had said. It made me hesitate. Would he really be better off without me?
For just a fraction of a second, my mind seemed to change its course. I shook it clear and left what had once been my room as well as the person I had once been completely devoted to…the one that would be in my very last thought before I died.
I met Frankie at the stairs. He had known this day was coming. He prepared for it. I kissed him goodbye and he told me he would make sure my trunk arrived at Hogwarts.
I said goodbye to the Cullen's. Some, with a heavy heart, wished me luck. Others tried to make me stay. I hardly paid any attention to who said what. None of it mattered anyway. In a corner I saw Bella looking angry and guilty at the same time. She avoided looking at me, but I still talked to her.
"You won't love him like I do…no one can. And you're definitely not worthy of him. But if you're the best there is out there…then don't disappoint me and make that man up there the happiest one on earth."
She nodded and quietly murmured a thank you.
As I walked to the fireplace, I felt as if someone had injected morphine into my heart and it was slowly spreading throughout my whole system creating a numbing feeling. When I arrived to Hogwarts I headed to the common room in a daze—completely unaware of what went around me. In the dormitory, a bed awaited me. A bed I could climb into, but could futilely hide in. No matter in which corner of the world I was in, I would never be able to hide from my problems. I was my problem. How was I supposed to hide from myself?
After everything I'd gone through, I still hoped I was wrong. I just wanted to sleep and forget that last year even happened. I wanted it to be a dark fairytale—some figment of my imagination. But damn it! Forgetting was an impossibility for me. All my memories were more vivid than any humans; I daresay possibly more vivid than a vampires. Only now was I realizing how much of a curse this ability was. I'd be forever plagued with the mistakes of my pitiful life.
Edward's P.O.V.
Did Carlisle know all the pain I would be subjected to after he turned me into what I am now? For two centuries, it had been blow after blow. Perhaps I had just been a mistake…never meant to happen or exist. I would have much preferred that to this.
Was this how Bella felt when I left her? I didn't think so; it was too much for a human to stand. Surely she would have died on the spot if that had been the case. Maybe this was happening as a payback for what I had put Bella through? Yes, that was plausible.
The reasons however, were of no matter. What was rotting me to hell was the fact that she was gone. I tried to convince myself it was for her own good, but it was so damn hard. I wondered if I was demonstrating the depth of my love to her by letting her leave or if I should have just kept her from leaving me.
"Edward?" Bella's voice seemed to set me into a raging inferno. She was the reason Alex had left. It was entirely her fault. And now she dared to taint Alex's presence in this room with her own presence.
"Leave." I growled.
"Let me help you, I'm you-"
"I KNOW YOU'RE MY DAMNNED WIFE! YOU DON'T NEED TO REMIND ME EVERY SECOND! GET OUT OF HERE YOU'RE NOT WELCOMED IN THIS ROOM! DON'T YOU EVER DARE COME NEAR IT!" My head pounded with rage. She became shocked and scared and quickly ran away dissolving into a heap of dry sobs on her way.
Alice, Carlisle, and Esme wanted to come up here and give me a piece of their mind, but they would just get it worse and they were aware of it.
Had my sanity finally taken flight? It sure seemed that way to me. I felt paralyzed.
My family saw I had no intention of leaving the room and so they worriedly left me behind with Frankie, who paid no attention to my presence. Her scent was all around the room. It was the closest I could be to her right now and I'll be damned if I ever leave this place. The scent was more concentrated on her bed covers, on her pillow and on a sweater that she often used that she left behind. I found some sort of sanctuary in her bed, holding her sweater to my nose and closing my eyes pretending I was holding her.
The world had crashed all around me and this was the only safe place left. Here, I let myself weep over my loss. I comforted myself with the thought that she was better off and where she belonged. And I…I would count the days until I saw her again…even though it was highly unlikely I would ever be in here presence again.
But I would wait.
Hermione's P.O.V.
For my first apparition class, I didn't do half bad. I actually feel like I made some progress, which is more than I could say for others. Just as I had passed Harry and Ron, I heard McLaggen call to them.
"Oy, Potter!" My attention was instantly his. "What's going on with your sister now?"
"What are you talking about?" Harry said warily. I stopped on my tracks and went back towards them.
"I'm saying that she just walked into the common room looking like a dementor kissed her."
"That's not funny!" I snapped at him.
"I'm not trying to be funny!" He defended, "Many people said 'hi' and she didn't answer a single one of them. She just silently walked up to the dormitory."
Harry and I looked at each other. Harry was quick to point fingers.
"Edward." He hissed as he began to jog to the Gryffindor common room. I gave Ron a brief look and we both followed after him.
"Baubles." He said to the fat lady. Sensing his urgency she immediately swung open and we followed in.
"Harry wait!" He began to head up the girl's dormitory and completely forgot what would happen. As the stairs disappeared, he went sliding down. He unsuccessfully muffled a growl as he looked up in the direction of the dormitory. Some people chuckled at the scene.
"Don't worry, I'll go and try to get her down." I said. The moment my feet touched the stone slide that had formed, they went back to being the stone steps.
On instinct, I looked to her bed to see if she was there. That's exactly where I found her; under the covers, curled into a little ball and facing to the window.
Assuming she was asleep, I walked over to my bed right next to hers and faced her. My eyes widened in surprise as I saw she was awake and staring blankly out the window.
"Alex?"
"It's over…" She said numbly. "He's gone, it's over….it's over…"
She kept repeating this and I seriously worried about her sanity. I don't think she was talking to me—it didn't even seem like she was aware that I was present.
"What happened?"
"It's over…" She shakily whispered.
"What's over?" I gently murmured.
"It's over." She repeated.
"Does this have to do anything with Edward?"
She blinked and abruptly sat up.
"Edward?" She looked around the room as if looking for him.
I went over to sit in front of her and made her look at me.
"Alex, he's not here." I said as gently as possible.
Her eyes lost that glazed look they had a few seconds ago and she blinked twice.
"Hermione?" Had she really not been aware of my presence? "What happened?"
"That's what I want to know. What happened?"
She lay down on her side again.
"Why is there sun but, I can't see a single ray of light?" She whispered.
"He chose her?" I guessed.
"He chose her the moment she came back…" Her eyes pooled with tears and I observed as she tried to keep them at bay.
"What happened?"
She drew in a sharp intake of breath that sounded like a strangled sob.
"I snapped…he wasn't going to send me away anytime so-oo-on…" Her tears made clean trail down her paled cheeks and disappeared under her jaw. "So I left…"
"You left?"
She nodded once and bit back a sob. I couldn't help myself as I embraced her; hoping that I could give her some kind of comfort.
"You did well." I whispered. If she had stayed, it would only have been harder for her when Edward made his final decision.
"But it feels so horrible!" She cried.
"I can only imagine…how did Edward take it?"
"It's like I had struck him…I suppose I did, figuratively of course…" She heaved another sob and her whole body shook with the force of it. "I told him I regretted meeting him…"
I bit my lip. That was wrong of her—to tell him something like that and hurt him deeper.
"Do you?" I said quietly.
"I- I do…and I don't…" She roughly brushed away the tears that disappeared under her jaw. "But he probably thinks I hate him."
Third person P.O.V.
Indeed, many miles away, Edward wallowed in piercing sorrow…remembering over and over Alex's last words to him.
"You have no idea…how much I curse the day I met you…"
It was what he was most scared of: Her hating him. Although, somewhere deep in his heart, he had always known that one way or another she would end up loathing him. No matter how good fate seemed to have been at times to Edward, fate was just a demon…a demon that allowed him to indulge in the most sacred thing this world had to offer before violently ripping it away from him.
Edward had never been friends with fate.
If he had been friends with it then he would have died in 1918.
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