The kiss between the couple ended as soon as it had begun, but it left Fitz' head spinning. He looked down into his wife's blue eyes and felt like he had plunged off a high-dive into the depths of them. He was drowning – confused and overwhelmed, lost but in another sense found. Mellie's soul was being offered to him on a platter and he didn't know whether to take it or leave it. If he chose to reject her now, he knew, she would be gone from him forever.

"Say something, please," Mellie whimpered. Fitz shook his head, at a loss for words. Nothing he could possibly say would correctly articulate how he was feeling. Whatever he said, whatever he did in this moment, either way he would be hurting someone he loved. Two very different women and two very different kinds of love – which one was more real, he wasn't sure.

"Then tell me this, did you feel something in that kiss? Did it mean something to you, Fitz? Tell me and I'll have my answer," Mellie said, her voice gravely and low. It was taking all she had, he could tell – she was scraping out what was left of her heart and putting it in Fitz' hands.

"I- I don't know, it felt" –

Before Fitz could finish his thought, Mellie reached up and grabbed the back of his head. She pulled his face towards hers and kissed him with everything she could muster. She raked her hands through his hair and as much as her belly allowed her she pressed her body firm to his. She wanted him to feel her. She wanted to give him everything that she had left to give. She wanted to show him that the Mellie he had fallen in love with was still here, she was broken but she was still here and willing to fight. With this kiss she wanted to say everything she couldn't say with words.

Mellie pulled away first, shaky and breathless. Fitz was flushed and he fought a grin as he tried to regain his breath and composure. "Mellie Grant," he groaned, his voice dripping with shock and bewilderment. Fitz had forgotten what it was like to be on the receiving end of one of Mellie's real, passionate, soft yet fiery, make-you-melt-on-the-spot kisses. He had forgotten what she was capable of making him feel like. His brain may have been jumbled, but his body was telling him exactly what to do. His heart, he would have to check in with later. Right now, all he knew was that it was jumping out of his chest.

"What did you feel?" She asked him again. She was smiling too, but in her eyes Fitz saw the fear.

Fitz pulled her into his arms and kissed the top of her head, "I felt like I just came home."

Mellie let out a breath that she'd been holding in and she was glad Fitz' arms were around her because otherwise she might have simply shattered into a million pieces.

"Let's go back," Fitz whispered into her ear. Mellie nodded and squeezed him tighter, unwilling to let go quite yet. Fitz chuckled and tilted her face up to his, "I'm not going anywhere," he assured her.

Mellie nodded again but didn't look as convinced. She knew the battle wasn't over for either of them - the first step had been taken but they still had a marathon to run together. And she also knew that she wasn't the only one who wanted to cross the finish line with Fitz.

The couple walked back to the Aspen Lodge, which didn't take too long considering they hadn't made it too far before they had been pulled into a conversation. They quietly strolled hand-in-hand all the way up the stairs but then barely made it past the front door before their lips were upon each other's again. The uncoordinated, fumbling, awkward dance they engaged in all the way to the bedroom was foreign to them both but all too familiar as well. As he parted from Mellie to remove his shirt, he half expected to see the little blue couch and yellow walls of the house they had shared on Morgan Street so long ago.

Fitz threw his shirt to the corner of the room and quickly slid the zipper of Mellie's fitness jacket down. She shrugged out of it without breaking eye contact with Fitz and shivered. Goosebumps formed on her arms and Fitz lowered his mouth to her skin and placed open kisses starting from her wrists and slowly making his way to her neck. As he kissed the space behind her ear, Mellie moved her hands over his well-defined abdominal muscles and settled her fingers on his belt. They trembled as she fumbled to undo it.

Fitz stopped her and covered his hands over hers, "Hey," he whispered, "Is this what you want? Is this okay?"

Mellie let out a shaky breath and smiled, "Yes, this is what I want. This is okay," she repeated, "Now undo this belt, Fitz," she added impatiently.

Fitz laughed and did as he was told. Soon every garment they had been wearing was haphazardly strewn across the room and the couple was intertwined under the covers.

xOHx

"Remind me why we ever stopped doing that?" Fitz panted, collapsing back onto the pillows.

Mellie curled her body towards Fitz but didn't respond.

"I mean that was" – Fitz stopped himself and turned to his wife, noticing she hadn't yet spoken a word. "Mellie? You okay?"

She nodded quickly but then her face contorted and she screwed her eyes shut. Fitz was not convinced, he wondered briefly if he had hurt her. "Mel" –

"I could tell you why," she said quickly, her voice catching in her throat.

"Tell me why what…?"

"Why we stopped… doing that," she finished.

Fitz propped himself up on his elbow and frowned, "We stopped because you had Jerry and things…changed, right?"

"Things changed before our baby, Fitz," she said slowly. The words tasted like metal on her tongue. "I was never going to tell you and I don't know if today even changes anything between us but in order to move forward either way I think you need to know." Mellie was starting to shake under the covers and her whole being was screaming for her to retreat, to push it back under the rug, to hide. She was just about to stop herself from divulging when Fitz, sensing the gravity of what was coming, found Mellie's hand and squeezed. It gave her the courage to continue.

She gathered everything she had and took in a lengthy breath, "Your father raped me, Fitz," she said, her throat was dry and she wasn't even sure if she had said it loud enough for him to have heard her.

"What?" Fitz was suddenly sitting up in bed now, "Mellie," he shook his head slowly, "that's just not true. It's not…wait, what did you say?" Fitz' mind was reeling and he was shaking now too. Rage was building inside of him and panic was rising in his chest. Struggling with how to respond he just continued to rapid fire questions at his gaping wife, "He did what? No…When? He attacked you? Mellie, god… fuck, I'm going to kill him." Fitz had climbed out of bed and was now pacing the room. He pulled on his underwear and walked towards the door, punching the dry wall before he disappeared from the room. Mellie just sat in shock, putting her hand to her mouth. She wasn't sure what she had expected as a reaction but this wasn't it. She quietly and slowly sat herself up and climbed out of the bed. She gathered her clothes from around the room and was about to put them back on when Fitz appeared in the doorway. He paused and held himself up by gripping the frame. He looked as broken as she felt. They locked eyes and Mellie could see the devastation written across his face and in the slump of his body and it caused her to let out a sob. She dropped the pile of clothes on the floor and just as she was about to crumple and join them, Fitz was there, encircling her in his arms.

"Why didn't you tell me? All these years and I never knew a thing…" Fitz was crying now too, smoothing down her hair in a repetitive motion.

"I'm sorry, I just didn't know how to ever say it without ruining everything… I ruined everything anyway, didn't I?"

"No, you didn't," he assured her, "we'll fix this. You and I are going to work this out. I'm never going to let something like that happen to you again…god, I just feel like I completely failed as a husband…"
"No Fitz," Mellie said, pulling apart from him, "I failed as a wife. I know if I would have fought harder, I could have" –

"Shh," Fitz stopped her. "I don't ever want to hear you blame yourself for that. It was not your fault, Melody." His voice was stern but gentle; it allowed Mellie to relax against his chest.

"You're exhausted," Fitz noted, resting his chin on her head. Mellie nodded under him, noticing for the first time the heaviness of her eyelids. She felt like the weight had finally been lifted from her shoulders but it had left her entirely drained. Fitz led an almost entirely limp Mellie back into the bed and curled up behind her.

"We're going to need to talk about this more, but Mellie, I want you to know right now that you don't have to be alone in this anymore, okay?"

She nodded and warmth surrounded the couple as they drifted to sleep.

A/N: soo…what did you think?