Chapter 2

Saul must have dozed off because he was woken up by Jesse screaming from the bedroom. The lawyer swore and sprinted into the bedroom, half expecting to see Walter White standing over the bed with a knife or a gun or a fucking chloroform-soaked handkerchief.

No, it was just Jesse.

Alone in that big bed, screaming himself hoarse as night terrors filled his mind.

Saul wrapped his arms around the kid and pulled him to sit up against his own chest, holding him tightly. His thrashing slowly weakened then stopped and his screams quietened to sobs, gasping for breath.

Saul continued to hold him gently but firmly, affirming he was there to help, rubbing his chest in calming circles like a mother does for a child with a cough. The racked sobs slowly soothed into little pants and quiet sniffs and snivels.

"W-where am I..?" he asked once he'd gotten his breath back a bit. Saul got up and went to the other side of the bed, so Jesse could see him, and flicked on the bedside lamp. Jesse flinched at the sudden brightness and, shielding his eyes, frowned up at his host's silhouette. "Wait, Saul..? Is this your place?"

"Yep, welcome to my humble abode, kiddo. So, are we going to talk about your nightmare or are you going back to sleep?"

"Is…is there a third option..?" Jesse asked quietly.

"'Fraid not, kid. What did you dream about?"

"Um…Gale…Jane, Tuco, Fring, Drew Sharp, Mr. White…Brock and Andrea…my aunt Ginny…"

"Ok, that narrows it down, thanks." Saul said, trying to joke but it was hard when the kid literally radiated pain and loss. "You want something to drink? Warm milk or cocoa or something? It really helps when you can't sleep, what d'you say?" he spoke softly and gently but not condescending; Jesse didn't need to be patronized. The electric eyes glanced at him then down and he nodded.

"Yeah, ok…that sounds good.." he said, sitting up and wiping his face with the back of his hand. Saul smiled and got up, gesturing for Jesse to follow him. He glanced at the clock on his way out: 9pm. Well, a drugged 4 hours wasn't a bad start.

Jesse sat at Saul's breakfast bar, his head on his forearm as he fought off fatigue and nightmares in equal measures. Saul made the kid a hot cocoa and was about to put another couple of Valiums in when he remembered Jesse was clean and probably wouldn't appreciate being drugged again, plus the kid was so skinny he could easily overdose from the two earlier.

"Here you go, kiddo. Let me know if you want marshmallows or whipped cream or…anything, really.. Are you hungry?" Jesse shook his head, pulling the steaming mug towards himself.

"No…thanks.."

"Ok, you just let me know when your stomach starts growling or, you know, eating itself. Jesus, kid, seriously, when did you last eat?"

"I ate yesterday.."

"An actual meal?" Jesse went quiet again, Saul took that as a no. He sighed, sipping his own decaf coffee. "I'm trying to help you, kid…you know that, right?"

Jesse nodded slowly, suggesting he didn't know that. "I don't want to see you waste away, you know? I hate seeing you like this, even miss your dumb jokes and little shit attitude." Jesse looked at him, eyes wide like the thought of someone actually caring what happened to him was shocking to him. Saul sighed. "C'mon, kid, eat something, please? How about grilled cheese?" Jesse looked down, like he was trying to hide from the question. "Well, I'm making myself one, I'll make you one too." He said, getting bread and cheese out and getting to work. Jesse sighed but didn't object.

He watched Saul making sandwiches in the frying pan, face squished up against his own palm. His eyes were stinging and his head hurt from crying and he had to admit he was pretty hungry.

"How do you like it, kid? A little ketchup? Worcestershire sauce? My cousin eats grilled cheese with beets, if you're into that." Jesse looked at him, frowning.

"Gross."

"My thoughts exactly." Saul said with a chuckle, placing a plate of grilled cheese in front of Jesse. "What'll it be?"

"Um, ketchup, please." He said and Saul nodded, getting a bottle out of the cabinet, placing it beside the plate. Jesse thanked him, squeezing some red sauce onto the side of his plate for dipping. Saul smiled and joined him. He removed the top slice of bread and put on Worcestershire and tomato sauce onto his sandwich.

Saul glanced over as he dug into his own sandwich, seeing Jesse's still shaking hands ripping pieces of bread off a morsel at a time, dipping it in ketchup then slowly putting it in his mouth, as if forcing himself to eat it. He smiled slightly, glad he was at least trying, and they quietly ate their food. Jesse got through about half the sandwich before giving up with a sigh.

"Can't eat anymore…" he mumbled, pushing the plate away.

"That's ok, kid, I'm just glad you ate something. Now, think you'll be able to get back to sleep?" he asked. Jesse shook his head slowly. "How about a movie?" he suggested. Jesse looked at him and smiled.

"Sounds good.." he said. They went into the living room and sat on far ends of the sofa again, Saul looking through the channels until he found some old British comedy where they made a ton of innuendoes and it was vaguely based on Frankenstein. (a/n: the movie is Carry On Screaming (1966) and it's amazing if you want to watch it!)

"Ahh, a classic. Watch and learn, kiddo, this is the mother of risqué British humor." He said with chuckle.

"Dude, just say 'risky', you don't gotta say it like that.." he muttered grumpily. Saul stared at him for a moment before laughing, patting his shoulder.

"No, kid, risqué – it's French, means like, uh, salacious, lewd." Jesse just frowned at him. Saul sighed. "Have you ever seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show?" Jesse nodded, still peering at him like he was crazy. "That's risqué. It just like when something is shocking because it's a bit indecent." Jesse just looked slightly confused now. Saul smiled. "I guess nowadays it's not really a thing anymore but, back in the day, it really made the squares grumble." He said, chuckling. Jesse smirked, his eyes on the TV.

He still looked drawn, pale and exhausted. His bones were so obvious it made Saul feel like he should be wrapped in bubble wrap to stop him breaking. He made a mental note to Google anorexia and sleep deprivation.