Chapter 3
Saul came into the bedroom to find Jesse sitting on the window ledge, smoking with the window open despite the chill of the breeze. He was talking on the phone so Saul kept his distance.
"Yeah, I'm ok now, better anyway… What? No, you asshole, of course not. Yeah, I will…yeah, Saul's takin' care of it.. Um, kinda, I got about five hours last night.." Saul knew that was a lie but kept his mouth shut. "Ok, yeah, I will… Thanks.. Ok, I'll see you then…bye." He hung up, looking over at Saul as he took another drag on his cigarette, running his thumb over his eyelid as he exhaled the smoke slowly. Saul took that as his cue to go over.
"Who was that?" he asked with a smile, sitting on the armchair beside the window. Jesse had only jumped a little, which was an improvement.
"Huh? Oh, just Mike – he wanted to know how I'm, like, doin'.." he said, Saul noticed his hand trembling a little when he took his next drag.
"And how are you doing?"
"Um…ok, I guess. Not 100% or anythin' yet but…maybe, like…10..?"
"Well, that's a start, I suppose. You wanna come and watch some TV?" Saul asked, knowing the answer.
"Uh, n-no thanks, I'm gonna…sit here for a little longer.." he said, looking down, taking another drag quickly. His hand was shaking a little more.
"Ok, feel free to join me at any point. I'm gonna order pizza in a little while, if you want in?"
"Um, yeah…maybe.." he said, looking out the window again. Saul nodded and stood up.
"Alrighty. I'll be in the living room." He said, impulsively patting Jesse's shoulder before leaving the room. He felt him tense but only a little.
He grabbed himself a cold beer from the fridge and sat down on the sofa, turning on the TV. He soon found an old war movie and let his mind wander, waiting for Jesse to slink in.
It was just under an hour later when Jesse finally appeared, dropping onto the sofa beside Saul and asking what he was watching.
"Huh? Oh, some World War II movie…not really sure what's going on, to be honest." He said with a smile, looking at Jesse properly. The kid was looking a little better, at least he didn't look as tired as he did even a couple of days ago. Despite the nightmares, he was improving how many hours he got in before they hit and, occasionally, he was even able to go back to sleep after they happened. "How's Mike?"
"Uh, he's good. He said Mr. White's been on Fring's ass about not having anyone to cook with.." he said, rubbing the back of his neck – a nervous gesture, one of many.
"He's just gonna have to deal with it for a while then, isn't he.." Saul said with a sigh, trying to keep the edge out of his voice. Jesse looked at him and smiled, nodding.
"Yeah, he is." He said and Saul smiled at him, he loved Jesse's smile.
They sat watching the boring movie for another fifteen minutes or so until Jesse sighed impatiently.
"This movie sucks." He said. Saul chuckled and shrugged.
"It's not great, is it? Let's see what else is on.." he said, picking up the remote and looking through the channel guide.
"Aw, dude, put Iron Chef on!" Jesse said after a moment. Saul selected it and it came on, the melodramatic cooking competition show flashing and thundering at them. Jesse laughed. "We used to watch this after school, it's awesome." He said, grinning.
Saul grinned back. He finally saw the old Jesse again.
It had been almost a month since Jesse came to live with Saul when he realized how attractive the kid was. It had been a rainy day and Jesse was sitting in the doorway of the balcony, smoking a cigarette. It was a humid day and Saul's air conditioning was busted, so he was wearing a T-shirt and shorts. He sat on the floor, ashtray outside while he sat on the carpet, one leg up to rest his elbow on, his head back and his eyes closed.
Saul found himself staring at him.
Jesse must have felt his eyes on him because he looked up, pale eyes vivid in contrast with the grey sky.
"Sorry, is it ok if I smoke here? It's pissing it down out there." He said, tapping the ash into the tray outside. Saul snapped himself out of it and nodded.
"Yeah, no – sure, kid." He said, going over to sit with him. "How's the air?" he asked, smirking. Jesse breathed a laugh, taking another puff before replying.
"Heavy." He said, making Saul chuckle.
"I hate this kind of weather. Hot and wet? What the fuck, nature?"
"Sounds kinda sexy when you put it like that.." Jesse said softly, looking out into the horizon, the sighed. "Too bad it just makes you feel like a wet towel.." he said. Saul grinned.
"True." He said. "Hey, can I have one of those?" he asked, gesturing to the pack of smokes beside Jesse. He looked at him and nodded.
"Yeah, sure, dude." He said, leaning forward to give him the pack and his lighter. Saul thanked him, lighting one and sighed out he smoke, leaning against the cool of the glass door. "I didn't know you smoked." He said, looking at Saul. He shrugged.
"Used to, but I quit…but I guess I'm weak to my own desire." He said and Jesse smirked, taking a lot drag. His pale eyes strayed over Saul's face almost thoughtfully, then he looked outside again. Saul's heart fluttered and he didn't know why.