Disclaimer: I do not own Hey Arnold! or Romeo & Juliet, or anything that sounds like I could make some money off of it.
Summary: What If: Mr. Simmons had never done the play in Elementary school? What if he directed it when they were all in High School instead? This is an expanded take on Helga's schemes to kiss Arnold. AxH, slight AU.
Note: As much as I love the episode "The School Play" I have several beefs with it. The fact that they made such a big deal out of the final kiss is rather silly, considering there is more than one scripted kiss in the play. But yes, they were just kids so I let that one slide. But, during the episode, they don't even place the few scenes there are in order! Always drove me crazy.
So, after my most recent viewing of this episode, I was struck with inspiration. A wonderful 'What If' Scenario. This will detail the episode with the gang in High School now (with everything else in their childhood, i.e. FTi, finding Arnold's parents, etc still having happened) with a couple exceptions: Arnold and Helga had never become a couple and Arnold's parents remained in Hillwood.
I wanted to expand on Helga's quest to become Juliet, while also building something up between Arnold and her throughout the preparations for the play.
I hope you all enjoy this 'What If' story!
Previous Chapter's Soundtrack: Standing Still by Jewel
Current Chapter's Soundtrack: Kiss With a Fist by Florence and the Machine
Chapter Eight:
"Give me my sin again."
After rehearsal that night, Helga made her way over to Lila's with the excuse of needing her opinion on the music.
Once she was there, she was certain she'd be able to convince the redhead to drop out of the play with little resistance.
But of course, since this was one of Helga's schemes, it couldn't be that easy now could it?
"It's such a violent play, Lila. Don't you think? I mean, all those bloody sword fights and everything. Doesn't it just disgust you?" Helga asked as she powered up the laptop.
From her seat on the edge of the bed, Lila waved her hand, "Not at all. The violence only serves to underscore the real meaning of the play, which is that love conquers all."
Helga turned and blinked at Lila as she tried to keep up her poker face, "Wha- well, what about all those lines? I mean, there are so many of them! You still haven't even gotten half of your scenes down yet. I mean, what if you blow it on stage?"
Lila smiled at the thought a chuckled lightly, "Oh, I never get stage fright. I just feel oh so comfortable in front of an audience."
Helga stumbled over her excuse,"Well, uh...well, what about that crazy costume you have to wear?"
She shook her head as though amused, "I've seen the work Sheena's done on the dress. I think it's just...delightful. Not to mention the other costumes she's put together for the role. She's a very talented-
"But, you and Arnold don't even have any chemistry!" Helga blurted out.
The freckled teen frowned, "That doesn't mean I should just...give up, Helga."
Helga stood up from the chair and looked away from the teen, "Look, Lila...I have to play Juliet."
"Why, Helga?" Lila inquired.
"Because I just do, okay?" Helga replied desperately.
Lila arched her brow and frowned, "Well, if you don't have a reason-
"I have a reason!" Helga cut off as she turned away from her, "I just can't...tell you what it is!"
Lila brought a finger to her chin thoughtfully, "...It isn't by any chance because you like Arnold, is it?"
Helga's eyes widened in shock as she froze, before turning around and shooting Lila an appalled look, "Are you crazy?"
"Oh, because if that was the reason...," Lila began cheerfully, "if you wanted to play Juliet because you really like Arnold, and you wanted to kiss him or something? Why, I sure could understand that." She clasped her hands together sweetly, "I guess I'd think it was...ever so sweet. And I wouldn't mind giving you the part, so you could do it."
The blonde stared at Lila in disbelief, "You mean, if I said I liked Arnold...then you'd let me play Juliet?"
Lila shrugged her shoulders softly, "Sure Helga, but...you don't."
"Uh, wait- wait a minute-
"Yes, Helga?" Lila folded her hands in her lap as she looked at the blonde a little smugly.
"Uh, strictly hypothetically: if I said that I liked Arnold, talk about a crazy idea...," Helga nervously chuckled before going on, "would you swear never to tell a soul about it?"
"I suppose so, if it was like...a secret of something," Lila replied.
Clasping her hands behind her back, Helga paced the floor in front of Lila, "And would you also understand that, and this is still hypothetical, that if I told you I liked Arnold and you spilled the beans to anybody...that I would strangle you with my bare hands?" Helga ground out as she mimed the gesture.
Lila replied nervously, "...Well, I'm sure I would never tell."
Helga rolled her eyes up to the ceiling and balled her fists. Her shoulders sagged in defeat before muttering under her breath.
"Pardon? I couldn't hear you," Lila leaned forward with a frown.
Helga mumbled a little louder as her shoulders hunched.
"I'm sorry Helga, you're mumbling-
"I. Like. ARNOLD!" Helga shouted as she whipped around to face a surprised Lila. Before the redhead could even speak, Helga rambled on, "I'm head over heels, hook-line-and-sinker, over the moon, loop-de-loop, I'm in love with the boy!" The blonde held her hands out in front of her as her breath heaved, "Happy now? Happy?"
Lila was silent for a moment before smiling coyly at Helga, "I kinda had a funny feeling you liked him."
"So can I have the part?" Helga sighed.
"Of course, Helga!"
Helga immediately straightened, "Thanks!" She went over and grabbed her stuff then headed for the door. Before she closed it behind her, she peeked back in, "Oh, and remember: if you tell anyone?"
As Helga repeated the gesture of strangling, Lila raised her right arm, "I promise."
Helga shot her a grateful smile before closing the door.
Friday; Rehearsal.
"...and so Mr. Simmons, I've decided to step down from the role of Juliet. I feel that the...lack of chemistry is going to keep the play from it's full potential. I'm ever so sorry to have to do this, but I'm oh too certain that it's the right thing to do."
Mr. Simmons sighed in disappointment and rubbed the back of his neck, "Gosh Lila, if you're sure. It's just...the play is a week from today."
"I know," Lila looked down. When she looked back up, she saw Helga not too far off, and smiled a little slyly. She turned to Mr. Simmons and spoke louder than usual, gaining the attention of several members of the cast, Arnold and Helga included, "But I'm oh too sure that Arnold and Helga's chemistry is exactly what this play needs."
"Huh?" Helga whipped around to stare in surprise at Lila, before feeling all too aware of several pairs of eyes on her, namely Arnold's.
The young man turned away from Helga's form to where Mr. Simmons and Lila were, "Wait a minute...what's going on?"
"Well, Lila has decided she isn't right for the part of Juliet," Simmons explained before addressing the cast in a louder voice, "As of today...Helga will be playing the role of Juliet."
Murmurs spread through the cast as Helga awkwardly shifted her feet, "Oh...uh, great."
"Now, I want you all to get into your groups and run your lines," Mr. Simmons directed before turning to Arnold and Helga, "and let's have you two run that first meeting scene. Kisses and all." He looked at Arnold pointedly, not in the mood to tolerate the teen's normal reluctance at this all too familiar situation.
Arnold was terrified, and his body felt jumpy at the prospect of kissing Helga.
The two silently took their places on stage, and Arnold's voice was lacking sureness as he spoke his lines.
As the two went through their dialogue, Arnold felt the knot in his stomach tighten more and more.
"'Have not saint lips, and holy palmers too?'"
"'Aye, pilgrim...'" Helga clasped his hands and brought them up, pressing the palms flat against her own, "'lips that they must use in prayer.'"
Arnold took half a step closer to her, "'O then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do: They pray: grant thou, lest faith turn to despair.'"
Helga tilted her head a little and arched her brow slightly, "'Saints do not move, though grant for prayer's sake.'"
"...'Then move not, while my prayer's effect I take.'" Arnold leaned down and closed the gap between them, and his eyes shut of their own accord. The kiss was brief, and he only registered that her lips were really soft and his whole body felt feverish.
The distance between them was almost nonexistent, and the entire auditorium had gone silent. The kiss had been awkward, yet the chemistry between Arnold and Helga was palpable.
Helga glanced around nervously, and reverted to her defense mechanism. With a snort, she stepped back and crossed her arms, "That's what I'm going to have to work with?"
Arnold blinked once, and then his eyes widened in brief shock. A second later, and his face fell into a look of aggravated determination and his jaw clenched.
Mr. Simmons cleared his throat, unable to decide if he was pleased or not at the chemistry he just witnessed, "Let's just...let's keep it going, kids."
Arnold managed his next line through his teeth, "'Thus from my lips, by thine, my sin is purg'd'"
Helga sighed dramatically before reciting in a bored tone, "'Then have my lips the sin that they have took?'"
Simmons sighed, "Please, you two. Please, at least try to say the lines like you mean them?"
However, Arnold could only force out in a strained, irritated voice, "'Sin from my lips? O trespass sweetly urg'd. Give me my sin again.'" As Arnold moved towards her, Helga had the audacity to feign a yawn.
"So, are you going to put a little more effort into it this time, or did you use up all your mojo with Savannah?" Helga asked snidely before sneering up at him.
Mr. Simmons cringed, Gerald shook his head and Phoebe slapped her palm to her forehead.
Arnold growled in anger before turning away from her and paced a couple steps, and Simmons opened his mouth to speak.
However, before he could, Arnold turned around and moved to Helga. He took her face in his hands and took her mouth in a deep, passionate kiss. It lasted mere seconds before he pulled her back. With his hands still cupping her face mere inches from his own, and not a sound from anyone in the auditorium, Arnold stared down into Helga's shocked and dazed face.
Arnold's mouth turned up in a subtle, smug grin as he said firmly, "Your. Line."
Helga blinked rapidly and without realizing it, licked her lips. She spoke a little breathlessly, "'You kiss by the book.'"
After a moment, Simmons cleared his throat, "Um, alright that was...uh, very special. Let's...let's move on to another scene now, shall we?"
His voice broke the two out of the intense moment, and Arnold's hands instantly softened as he replayed what just happened in his head. The two shared a look before Arnold pulled his hands away, and they both took a step back from each other and avoided eye contact.
Everyone was unable to wipe the shock from their faces at what they just witnessed, and Rhonda was the only one to voice what everyone was thinking, "Oh. My. God."