Thanks to alexandria, happyland3000, lanzky, guest and maraudersextra for reviewing :-)

Sorry about the delay but this chapter is a bit longer! Hope you like it, let me know what you think

Chapter 8: Catfight

As soon as they got back to Grimmauld Place, Sirius started pulling out his purchases from their shiny bags and trying them on.

"Uhm," Tonks cleared her throat, "Aren't you supposed to take the polyjuice first before you start trying things on?"

"Nonsense!" Sirius waved a hand and started to slip on the tight gold dress.

At that moment, Remus, who had gone to get a coffees, walked in the room. "Oh my god, what did I just walk into."

Sirius grinned. "Shut up Remus, and start putting on a dress."

Oh merlin, this is madness, Tonks thought, but the prospect of seeing Remus in a dress was sort of yummy...and she wouldn't mind seeing him undress. Still she thought better than to change in front of everyone like Sirius who seemed to be comfortable with his body and changing in front of everyone.

She snagged one of the green dresses out of the bag and turned to Remus. "Uhm I'm going to go..try this on in the other room..." They both shot a worried glance at Sirius who was getting starkers "...I'll be back."

Remus winced and tried to avoid the general direction of looking at Sirius's bare buttcheeks. "Okay hurry. Uhm," he coughed "I won't be trying on anything Tonks...until" cough "I get the polyjuice."

Tonks giggled. "Yeah right. That makes sense." She shot another glance at Sirius and tittered "Nice butt Sirius", before running out of the room.

~/~

'Oh my god what on earth did I see?' Tonks thought in panic as she walked back into the room a minute later and saw her cousin standing in front of the mirror admiring himself in a tight gold dress and heels.

As Sirius spun around the dress was so tight that Tonks was treated to a full sight of Sirius's perfectly outlined package under the tight gold fabric.

Tonks covered her face with her hands. "Oh my god Sirius I think I might need to obliviate myself," she squealed, "that dress is so tight it should be illegal and haven't you ever heard of a jockey strap!"

She shot a glance at Remus, who was sitting, still very much a man and in his normal mens clothes, on the sofa and boredly watching the whole fiasco...and not joining in, despite the number of dresses Sirius had thrown at the sofa.

Remus blushed a little when he caught sight of Tonks in her green dress. "Uhm you're looking very well Nympha-ah, I mean you look very nice in that dress," he stammered and became more heated in the face.

Tonks giggled. "Well thanks but I really don't see the point of trying any of the dresses until you two get the polyjuice and I know who I'm transforming into." She grinned happily at him.

"Oi! Eyes over here!" Sirius shouted at them, hands on his hips.

'Attention whore.' Tonks thought as Remus's eyes were forced back unto the man in the gold dress and heels and...oh god she needed to stop looking at Sirius' package...but it was so damn huge and in-your-face. Why did she get the feeling that Sirius was showing off?

Sirius grinned satisfactorily once Remus and Tonks's eyes were back on him. "That's better. Now you don't really think I would try on this dress if I wasn't going to polyjuice did you?"

"YES." Remus and Tonks both said at the same time.

Sirius narrowed his eyes. "Well haha but I do actually have the polyjuice and the accompanying hairs!" he said and held out a vial.

Remus suddenly looked enraged. "What, why didn't you tell me?! This isn't a one man mission-"

'No it's a three woman mission,' Tonks thought.

Remus yelled at Sirius. "-you can't just go off and do things without telling me or either of us! And you're not even supposed to go anywhere near Diagon alley when you're still a fugitive!"

Remus continued yelling at Sirius who just took it with an absent expression like he was used to the responsible werewolf yelling at him for doing stupid stuff.

"Have you tired yourself out yet?" Sirius asked with arched eyebrows as Remus took a moment to huff and puff in his breathe.

"No Sirius, you know you're not supposed to go anywhere near Diagon Alley or any magical location unless you're in disguise! Which is why we went through the trouble of shopping at a muggle location today!"

Sirius smirked. "Well if you would calm down long enough to listen, Remus, you would know that I," he pointed to himself in a self aggrandized gesture, "did NOT go to Diagon Alley. Mundungus went and he managed to swindle his way into Madame Maxine's and pick out the finest hairs of two babes."

Tonks snorted. "If going by Mundungus's taste, they might actually turn out quite frumpy."

Sirius shot her a dirty glance. "Laugh now, Tonks but as soon as I take this potion I will turn into one of the most beautiful women on earth!"

Tonks just quirked a brow. "I'm a metamorphmagus, idiot, I can turn into whatever I want. Including 'the most beautiful woman on earth'."

"Then why don't you?" Sirius challenged.

Tonks felt her blood boil. "Because I'm not insecure."

"Now Sirius," Remus warned. "Mind your words."

Sirius laughed condescendingly, and Tonks got the feeling that she was getting into a catfight with Sirius over Remus's attention.

Merlin what a diva and he hasn't even turned into a woman yet, thought Tonks in panic. She could only imagine how much worse Sirius would get once he had the histrionics kicking in.

Remus, who seemed increasingly uncomfortable at the tension between Tonks and his best friend, cleared his throat. "Now Sirius who did you get for Tonks and I?"

Sirius smiled and held out another vial. "This one has the hair of a girl called Sherbert McLane."

"Sherbert McLane?" Remus asked incredulously.

"Some blonde bint with big feet." Sirius shrugged. "Sorry I didn't want you to overshadow me."

Remus chuckled in embarrassment. "That's alright Sirius, I don't think I could overshadow you, even as a woman. I never liked being in the centre of attention anyway."

Sirius fiddled in his bag for one more thing and turned to Tonks, "And here's a picture of Amber Golightly, the one that you'll be impersonating." He gave her a quick glance up and down. "Can you transform just from a picture?"

Tonks screwed up her features so that they matched Amber's exactly. "I don't know, Sirius, you tell me?" She stuck out her tongue at Sirius's flabbergasted expression.

"Very impressive Tonks," Remus said and then he choked a little when she transformed the rest of her body and suddenly her breasts were two times their size. "Uhm yes very good...er transfiguration work."

"Transmorphmagation, not transfiguration. No wand work involved see?" she said and held out one of her hands. She shot a glance at Sirius and Sirius looked hideously jealous. "Show off," he mumbled.

"Ahem ahem," Remus cleared his throat, he seemed to be doing a lot of coughing lately "Now Sirius are you sure you got the right hairs? You really trust Mundungus to have gotten the right hairs and not something like cat hair?"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Easy peasey! I would trust 'Dung with my life!"

Tonks snorted and Sirius glared at her.

"You're just jealous!" Sirius said and placed a hand on his hip, "Once I transform, you'll be see how beautiful I really am!" He held out a hair and small vial of polyjuice.

"Or you'll turn into a cat." one big fucking cat with a big fucking mouth, Tonks gritted.

Sirius glared at her and held up the vial. "Well there's only way to find out," Sirius winked.

Then, against Tonks and Remus's better judgment, Sirius mixed the hair into the vial and guzzled down the potion in one go.

There was a moment of tense silence as they all waited for the potion to kick in, then it started to happen.

Sirius Black started to grow breasts. Ernormous ones, Tonks noticed with irritation.

The hair and stubble on his face disappeared.

His already long black hair became longer and even wavier and silkier to the touch.

His already refined sharp features became smaller and finer until it was a woman's face with a small pert nose, wide beautiful grey eyes and a full pouting mouth with luscious red lips.

"Wow!" Remus's jaw dropped as the transformation took place, and Tonks couldn't help a twinge of jealousy that Remus was eyeing female-Sirius rather than her. She subtly nudged him in the elbow, "Stop drooling, Remus, he's still Sirius. He's still got balls somewhere under there!"

Remus gulped guiltily and looked away from his best friend. "Uhh right, good job Tonks and Sirius-"

Sirius, interrupted to speak for the first time in his woman's voice, "That's quite enough Mooney, my name's Tiffany now." She laid a hand on Remus's shoulder, who looked like he was going to pass out from boob overload. "Tiff for short," she giggled.

Fuck. Tonks had some serious competition for Remus's heart now!

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so i wasn't expecting a catfight to happen between tonks and sirius, but i'm totally loving the jealousy they have over getting Remus's attention! I'm not a wolfstar shipper but I do think Sirius might be a bit posessive over his friends and i think tonks and sirius already have this sort of Black family rivalry going...

R&R!