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Only a few chapters left.
Abby woke to the need for the bathroom. She groaned not wanting to move from the warmth of the bed and Jaydes strong arms. The pressure wouldn't be denied though and she gently pulled away, sighing as Jayde grumbled slightly and slid out of bed.
Fuck it was cold, the cool air hitting her naked skin and she quickly reached for a jumper on the floor, her cheeks flushing when she caught Jaydes scent and she remembered the mad scramble to get it off her lover in a desperate bid to feel skin on skin, to feel anything other than pain. She sighed as she headed to the bathroom, who knew she would crave another person the way she did Jayde. Especially after their meeting. She would never have thought she'd end up having wild, passionate and desperate sex with the woman she'd met on the steps of the hospital, she paused, was it merely two weeks ago? It felt like so much longer than that. Maybe sex tonight hadn't been the brightest idea but whatever Jayde needed she would provide for her.
The chill brought her out of her thoughts again and she hurried to the bathroom. They'd had decent weather since the early snow storm just after they defeated the mountain and Jayde had warned her it wouldn't hold off much longer. The air was getting crisper and cooler each day. She knew they would be heading back to camp in a day or two now, with all that happened. She hoped they got back before a storm hit. Which led to the thought of Jayde staying with her back in the Ark, she didn't think Jayde would like the confines. If Jayde had a tent as big an spacious as Clarke and Lexa's she wouldn't mind. But that was getting ahead of herself, she didn't know what Jayde wanted.
Finished In the bathroom she paused to look at herself in the mirror, noticing she looked and felt a lot freer, younger, less stressed, despite today's occurrence. She knew she had been showing every bit of her age before Polis, now she looked like a young woman in the throws of an affair. Mussed hair, flushed cheeks and hickeys included. She would have to talk to Jayde about that.
A noise out in the bedroom had her frowning, it sounded like Jayde and it hadn't sounded good. She hurried to the door and threw it open to see Jayde thrashing about on the bed clearly in distress. Oh no, she remembered Jayde telling her she suffered from horrible nightmares. Obviously today's events triggered another one.
She hurried forward in preparation to wake Jayde when she bolted upright while letting out a blood curdling scream
"Nooooooooooooooooo"
"Jayde" Abby slid onto the bed and raised a tentative hand to touch Jaydes shoulder. Unfocused grey eyes came up to blink at her
"Mia?" Jayde croaked and Abby realised she was still caught in the throes of her nightmare somewhat. She had no idea who this Mia girl was. But obviously it involved something terrifying and the thought broke her heart.
"Jayde sweetly it's Abby" she murmured gently brushing back long dark hair. "You had a nightmare"
"Abby?" Jayde husked and before Abby knew it Jayde was holding her tight, face buried in her throat while she shook with tremors from the nightmare.
"It's ok sweetheart" Abby held the younger woman tighter "it was just a dream"
"No, it was real, all real and I will never forgive myself for it" Jayde sighed and pulled back. Abby looked at her curiously, hoping Jayde would trust her enough to tell her what happened.
Before she could say anything however there was an urgent knock on the door and Raven was calling
"Abby, open the door. I heard a scream" her young friend called and Abby sighed looking at Jayde who pulled the covers up for modesty and nodded solemnly.
"Ok, but I want to hear about Mia once I have soothed Raven's fears" Abby stated pointedly as she stood and pulled on some underwear while calling out to Raven to wait a second.
Upon opening the door she could see both Raven and Wick there, looking at her worriedly.
"Abby are you alright?" It was Raven who questioned it but it was Wick who brushed past her despite her protests to glare at Jayde who was staring back with her usual stoic mask on. Abby rolled her eyes,
"I'm fine"
"Are you sure?" Raven asked still jittery. The scream had been horrific and no way would Abby convince her it was made in pleasure. She and Wick had bolted out of bed as fast as they could at the sound. Jayde was a friend of Lexa's, seemed nice but they didn't really know her. She was surprised when it was Jayde who answered her not Abby.
"It was not Abby screaming. I had a nightmare" she admitted and when Wick and Raven looked at her uncertain Abby rose a brow surprised she had admitted it. "You are good friends to Abby and while I am grateful you checked on her I now need to speak with my partner"
Abby flushed at the word partner, she liked the sound of that and she rolled her eyes at a grinning Raven. The grin fled as Raven turned serious and searched Abby's face for any type of deception.
"Are you sure you're ok?"
"I'm fine Raven, I promise" she smiled her eyes going to Jayde who was solemn and still being stared down by Wick. She couldn't help smiling at that, the boy had no chance against Jayde if it had really come down to it. "You two go back to bed. Jayde and I are going to talk like she said"
Raven swept her eyes around the room, noticing all the discarded clothes on the floor, Jayde sitting quite obviously naked in the bed under the covers and smirked at her friend. "Talk, aha. Sure" she teased trying to lighten the mood.
"Raven" Abby blushed slapping her playfully as Raven grabbed the back of Wicks jumper and started hauling him out.
"Have fun talking, don't keep us all awake now"
"Out" Abby said pointedly but couldn't help but smile "and thank you. For caring. I don't deserve it but thankyou".
Raven paused and turned to walk back to Abby, surprising the other woman by giving her a hug. "You deserve to be happy Abby, let yourself be happy" Raven gave her one last squeeze and headed out of the room, dragging Wick along with her as she shut the door.
Abby stared at the door for long moments before turning to find Jayde sitting up in bed again, sheets lowered. Her body started to hum and she swallowed hard. She knew what Jayde was trying to do but she refused to be distracted.
"Nice try" she crossed her arms and moved to lean against the desk facing her bed. "But we need to talk. You need to tell me about the nightmare and Mia" she stated purposefully and bit her lip feeling like she had kicked a puppy when Jayde's shoulders drooped and she looked away. Anguished.
Abby hurried forward and moved to crawl into bed, sitting beside her lover and pulling her into her arms. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked, it's obviously quite painful for you. You don't have to say anything, especially after today. I just want to help" she whispered into dark hair as she was held close.
They sat that way for long minutes, Jayde struggling with her demons while Abby held her. Finally Jayde spoke, telling her story in a hoarse voice.
"Mia was the daughter of my mothers best friend. Two years younger than me and a thorn in my side while growing up" she sighed "she followed me everywhere, until she was about 14 and I was 16. I was a warrior by then, she learning to be a healer. She stopped following me around and I found out I missed her. That's when I stopped to look at her, really look at her and she was beautiful, so damn beautiful it made my chest hurt and I couldn't believe I'd been so blind before"
Abby had to smile, it was usually the way, you never knew what you had until it was gone. She brushed back Jayde's hair and pressed a kiss to the woman's forehead to encourage her to continue.
"She made me work for it, it was quite obvious I was interested. I was always gay, had many girls, women etc. I'd hurt her. So she made me wait. She never went with anyone else to get back at me, just made me wait. Made me court her. Luna complains about waiting a year for Raquel, Mia made me wait until her 16th summer."
"Sounds like she was worth waiting for" Abby smiled sadly, knowing the worst was to come and trying not to feel jealous for the obvious love Jayde still felt for the other woman. "Where is she now?"
"Dead" Jayde said flatly and Abby sucked in a shocked breath, so much death in Jayde's life. No wonder today brought back this memory. "We were together four winters, were planning to be bonded, did everything together. One day she asked me to take her out on a boat, it was nothing unusual, we loved going out on a boat. But I knew a storm was coming, that it may be calm when she asked but soon the lake would get rough. She begged and pleaded. I never could say no" Jayde rasped
"Oh honey" Abby pulled her tighter. Fearing what was coming.
"I tried to stick close to the shore, I'd promised our parents as much but damn Mia. She knew all my weak spots and liked the adrenaline rush. I went a bit deeper, it got rougher. I wanted to go in, she got mad. She was standing in front of me yelling I was a sissy when a freak wave hit. The beam swung violently, hit her in the head and she fell overboard." By now Jayde was sobbing "people on shore had seen and were racing out to us. I was in the water diving over and over but I couldn't find her. She'd been knocked unconscious they reckon. I don't know. I had to be rescued from the water myself as I'd exhausted myself looking for her. I was taken unconscious into shore. By the time they found her it was too late"
"Jayde"
"I killed her Abby. I shouldn't have... I knew...but I was weak. I let her convince me and I lost her " Jayde sobbed and Abby's heart broke. Poor Jayde, to have loved so hard and have lost, been there when it happened and blame herself. It was an accident, just a freak accident. When Jayde finally calmed down Abby pulled back and cupped her face.
"Listen to me, what happened to Mia was an accident. You're not responsible. It was a freak wave. It wasn't your fault"
"No, it was both of ours. Her stubbornness and my inability to say no" Jayde sighed. "I should have just not taken her to start with or taken her back in. She would have only been mad for an hour or so" Jayde wiped her face "instead I lost her, had to be responsible for lighting her funeral pyre. Got told I was irresponsible by both set of parents, was blatantly accused of murder by her parents. I left the clan for many years, came to Polis, partied, bed women almost nightly but never at my place.
"I gave myself a set of rules, no love and no girl more than once."
"Then you couldn't get hurt again" Abby nodded
"No I couldn't. But then my brother came, dragged me back to the Clan. I had a duty and I was dishonouring Mia's memory with my actions. He was right but I didn't stop. Not completely, I was just more discrete. Mia's parents still blamed me. I was so hurt and angry initially but eventually I just didnt care. I closed myself off, I didn't deserve to care. I knuckled down and trained hard, became one of the clans best warriors. I met a woman I'd want I'd turn on the charm, bed her but only if she agreed and knew the score.
"My mother became sick, tried to abdicate to my brother. He didn't want it. He was a good general but fighting was all he knew. He didnt know how to look after the clan, settle grievances, organise crops for food, make trade deals. So then mother abdicated to me. The clan was prospering, as best we could with the Ice Nation to the north and the threat of the mountains. And then people fell from the sky and mother vetoed me from going to the meeting of the clans in TonDC and sent my brother instead. It was a plan she regretted."
"Jayde" Abby whispered
"Oh she loved me, just didn't understand me anymore, and at the same time felt guilty because she thought the way I became was her fault. She knew as much as everyone else that I was a sap when it came to Mia. Everyone knew, including Mia's parents, that the only reason we were on the lake that day was because Mia demanded it. She had me wrapped around her little finger."
Abby didnt know what to say. Everyone had their own story, Jayde knew hers and now she knew Jayde's. She just sighed and held her lover closer. Finally Jayde continued
"When Lexa's messenger arrived with the invite to the wedding I didn't hesitate to take it, leaving my top Generals in charge as I headed out alone. It was reckless and dangerous but I just needed some freedom. I was looking forward to getting here and catching up with Luna who I have known for years. Heda has been a strong ally and I've gotten to know Lexa, the woman, a bit recently too.
"I was barely in Polis for five minutes when a beautiful woman ran into me. It was all I could do not to start gibbering like a baby. A acted a total fool from the start"
"Here I was thinking you were rather cool" Abby smiled as they settled themselves down into a more comfortable position.
"Only on the outside Abby, on the inside I was a total mess. I felt 18 again, just like with Mia" she admitted which had Abby's head shooting up in shock. What was Jayde saying.
"Jayde?"
"I know. I tried so hard to deny it and you only wanted to be friends. I didn't know whether to be relieved or cry. When you admitted the attraction at the wedding I..." Jayde stopped, unsure of her words as she could only stare down at Abby letting her see all the emotions she had inside.
"Jayde" Abby breathed awed by what she saw.
"My mother would have approved of you" Jayde whispered "I wish you could have met her"
"Me too" was all she could come up with smiling sadly
"When we go to camp will you share my furs?"
Abby was surprised at the change in question. At the same time she shuddered relieved. She wanted nothing more than to be with Jayde. "Yes" she cried before diving at her lover. Sorry Raven, you'll just have to go sleepless tonight.
Lexa stormed out of the dungeon wiping blood from her hands. It hadn't been easy to break the guy but he had been easier than the woman. They both had a high tolerance for pain. She turned on her guards now.
"Send a messenger to Camp Jaha immediately. Tell Indra to send guards to the mountain. Full patrols in and around it. Have Skaikru help. No one is to enter that mountain without my permission."
"Sha Heda"
"They are to stop only to water and feed. I will be following in two days"
"Sha Heda" they paused waiting for further instructions and upon not receiving any hastily left. Lexa sighed and looking at the stars that shone brightly in the bitter cold night she knew it was after midnight. Her bed and Clarke called to her but she knew her wife would be unhappy with her actions. She was unsure of her reception. God when did she become so weak? It was her home, her bed too. She needed sleep, if only for a couple of hours.
She made her way back to the Homestead and made her way inside. She was hardly surprised to see her servant rising from the chair near the front door. He gave no response to seeing her covered in blood, merely nodding and locking up after her as she headed upstairs.
Lexa undressed in the bathroom so she wouldn't dirty the carpet. She was smart enough to leave her boots at the door so she had been able to sneak past Clarke. Or so she thought. She was busy rinsing the blood off her in the shower when she turned and gave a start to see Clarke leaning against the bathroom wall, arms crossed, eyebrows raised.
"Houmon? Why are you not asleep?"
"You think I can sleep knowing what you were doing?" Clarke asked pushing away from the wall and stepping closer, shooting a look at the bloody clothes on the floor. "Do I want to know?"
"Probably not. No" Lexa admitted
"Are you Ok?" Clarke asked next and Lexa stared at her wife for long moments as all remnants of the Heda drained away. Why was she not surprised, Clarke was getting to know her so well. She did what she had to do, it did not mean it didn't affect her. She nodded as she tipped her head back to rinse her hair. When she was done she checked herself to ensure she was clean and turned off the water. Stepping out she let Clarke wrap her in a towel
"Liar" her wife whispered, kissing her forehead before starting to dry her off. Lexa stood still and let her. Only taking over to dry her thick unruly hair. Finally satisfied she hung up the towel and taking her wife's hand drew her back to bed. Once settled under the warm covers Clarke asked "we are going back to camp aren't we?"
"Sha, in two mornings time"
"What happened?"
"The Queen wants to claim the mountain. The prisoners claim she has a mountain man helping her. They have sent scouts" Lexa growled. "I have sent a messenger to Indra to protect the mountain at all costs"
Shit Clarke thought. If the Ice Queen got a hold of the remaining missiles she could wipe out the camp and a few other of Lexa's allies.
"I need to speak with Raven tomorrow after the executions. I need to see if we can set up radios between here and the camp so I know Polis is safe. Maybe other clans too"
"You know she will be eager to help. I'm sure she is already plotting ways to make the Ice Queen go Boom" Clarke chuckled and Lexa raised her head from her chest.
"I am sure I would like to hear those ideas" she gave a weak smile before she yawned widely.
"You need to sleep for a few hours. I'll talk to Raven tomorrow. I'm not sure everyone will be going to the executions."
"Will you?" Lexa asked rolling to turn off the bedside light before snuggling back in.
"I know I should, as a leader, as your partner. I'd prefer not to. I thought I'd go back to the hospital in the morning. In the afternoon we can meet with the others, discuss how they can help"
"You will not be expected to be there. Other leaders won't be as they return home tomorrow. It is Jayde's clan, not Trikru or Skaikru. You are a healer Clarke, the hospital will be happy to have you" she yawned again and Clarke kissed her brow in relief.
"Sleep. We will talk more in the morning"
"Ai hod yu in Klark"
"I love you too" Clarke whispered, trailing her fingers along her wife's back as she knew she enjoyed the sensation and it would soothe her off to sleep. Her last memory before succumbing to sleep was of her wife's soft snores.