The more and more I write this the older Silica becomes and more OOC she acts… well….. oops.
I'm going to chalk it up to her being changed by these events in her life and yadyadyada I'm going to continue writing now.
:D
Sorry for the wait times btw…
enjoy
I stood on the hill overlooking our camp from the previous night. I was astounded at just what a beautiful view it was. Barely able to see over the treetops, the virtual sunset cast orange light over the edge of the map, small beams breaking through the trees and kissing the ground where our gear and campfire lay. Our 'special' pond was hidden amongst those trees, a place I would always cherish, I thought as I remembered embracing Kirito in the black of night.
"Silica-chan?" a soft voice came behind me. Looking was unnecessary. It was Kirito, here to comfort me.
Turning around, I saw the boy I had grown so close to so quickly coming up to me. Smiling lightly and relaxed, he came up to me, almost chest to chest. "Hey…" he whispered.
"Hey…" was all I could respond. It's the only thing that felt appropriate. It felt like it said more than enough.
Staring at his serene face, I couldn't help notice how handsome he was. When he wasn't in the heat of battle he almost looked younger, his soft face still childlike with innocence. I realized that I had never actually seen him seriously fight; He had just thrown a swing or two in our mission to find the Pneuma flower. Somehow I knew though. Being a solo player though, I was sure that I was the only one to be allowed to see him like this, completely carefree.
"I have a surprise for you." He purred, oozing confidence and delight.
"Really?" I brightened up at this. He was just… perfect. Always trying to make me happy.
"Turn around." He encouraged.
I complied with his command instantly, putting my trust in him, as mysterious as he was acting. Smiling towards the sun and trees, I closed my eyes, reveling the feeling of him being something I could believe in. Something I could trust. Something I could hold close to me in this world full of death and sadness.
Hearing a jingle, I felt the chilling touch of metal as it met my throat, draping down towards my chest. It wrapped around towards his warm fingers as he tried to fasten it to me. Looking down and lifting the end of the chain in my palm, I eyed the pendant. It appeared to be a blue colored feather. Pina's feather…
Feeling the clasp close and him let go of the chain, a breath cradled my ear. "I just wanted to say I love you…"
Eyes wide in shock, I felt the feather replica slip through my fingers. He… "You… love me?... Really?" The world was melting away as I considered his words. Words I, myself, was too scared to mutter.
His breath sent a shiver down my back as it caressed my ear further. Letting out a soft sigh and a chuckle, I felt the boy nuzzle into my neck.
"No."
The chain tightened around my throat as he yanked on it tightly. It would have choked me if choking was possible here. A deep pinching sensation went through my back, right through my spine. Looking down, I saw a blade tip sticking out of my chest.
Then things became exceptionally clear, time slowing down as to capture every horrifying moment. Maniacal chuckles behind me. Virtual blood dripping down my body. Glinting crimson on the tip of his blade. A thrusting kick to my back. The air passing over my face as I was pushed off the… bridge? Falling endlessly into the sky. Then the shattering of a thousand mirrors rang through my ears that I couldn't cover.
"ica-chan"
Why… Why Kirito…
"ica-chan."
Why would you do this to me?
"Silica-chan."
The sky vanished. The shattering stopped. The feeling of falling halted. My body shivered hard. My neck was in an awkward position. What?
Opening my eyes, the bright sun in my face was replaced with the blackness of night.
"Silica-chan." The voice persisted, one all too familiar. "Are you awake now?" The silhouette of the man in black leaned towards me. The light touch of a gloved hand rested on my bare shoulder. It was an innocent hand, with no ill intent, but to me it was a traitor, one out to break me. A mix of my dream and the events earlier in the day started to wash over me like the sound of the crashing glass that still rang in my ears.
Flinching away from the perpetrator, I pushed off the wall of the pool of water and scurried towards the other side, trying to escape the pain those hands would cause me. Kirito, how could you...
"Silica-…chan? Is everything okay?"
Cowering away from him, I backed up towards the edge of the pool, staring at the water in front of me. Even though I couldn't see his face anyway, I couldn't meet his eye. "I'm… fine. I'm… um." I searched for a way to explain my reaction. "I'm just not really wearing anything." Hiding your feelings? What has that ever gotten you? Nothing but trouble.
His response was immediate. Jerking back, he backed up a step and retracted his arm.
"Sorry! I couldn't tell. I just thought something happened to you. Anyway, you shouldn't fall asleep in such a vulnerable state. It's unsafe. Okay?"
I let out a strained, "yes," hoping to end the conversation.
"Uh… anyway. I'm going to head to camp. Come back when you're… ready." Through the extreme discomfort I still chuckled at Kirito not being able to say the 'dressed.'
Watching him leave, I took a few labored breaths, trying to regain my composure. Just a dream. Just a dream. He wouldn't kill me. He wouldn't lie to me. He doesn't… love me…
Leaving the water, changing my soaked underwear, and equipping some sleeping clothes, I began to head back. Before I left the small clearing, I remembered something. Turning back, I went towards the tree I threw the ring at. Good thing it was easy to find out of place objects in a game; it seriously stuck out.
Looking at the ring, I considered just leaving it, but after a lot of deliberation, I decided I might as well wear it. Nothing to lose really.
Trudging back towards camp, I went over the day's messages, rereading them, hoping to find some explanation I missed earlier, something to comfort me. Nothing.
Looking up, I found I had reached the small embers of our fire and a hunched over Kirito, setting up a second sleeping bag.
Noticing my presence, Kirito looked up and smiled lightly. "You know, it's good I didn't use my [Tracking] skill. That thing can act like night vision with my level."
I blinked in confusion. How could he act so coolly? How could he be so calm? Doesn't he realize what I've been feeling the past few hours? Doesn't he realize how hurt I was… am?
"I see…" I muttered out, noticing his expectance for a reply.
"Yea. I should remember to only save that for emergencies or something. Things could turn out… awkward if I don't. On the bright side you'll probably end up with a whole new wardrobe." He chuckled lightly, oblivious to the aura of anxiety radiating off me like the heat from the fire.
"So… how was your date?" I looked down at the food as I asked, slight acidity to my voice. I reached down to scoop some of the, ahem, soup in to a bowl.
"That food's not for you, Silica-chan," he said, blocking my hand.
I looked up at him confused, slightly annoyed. So what now? We don't have any more cheesecake. What am I supposed to do? I'm freaking orange! I can't even go get my own food! I felt myself building up in anger at Kirito for not realizing what I had in my head. About to say something, probably something harsh, I felt a softness brush against me.
"Kyuuu," purred my feathered dragon. Melting my anger to a softer puddle of annoyance, I looked at Pina. Of course he would know my distress. He's my best friend. Taking a deep breath, I let out a soft smile towards him and petted his head with two fingers.
"Here you go," came from in front of me.
"Wha…" Looking up I found Kirito giving me a plate of, real food. Some sort of meat and rice with brown sauce on it, a decedent aroma emanating from it. Soy sauce?! No… they don't have that in this game. Mm. still smells good though.
I slowly accepted the plate from him, trying to hide my eagerness when I still felt an animosity towards him.
"Arigato..." I let out, sure to keep my manners in check, no matter how I felt.
We sat there for a few minutes, me slowly eating and him watching with a content demeanor. Around halfway through the meal, when things were just too quiet, Kirito broke the silence.
"Silica-chan… we need to talk." My hand froze at this, just about to give a hunk of meat to Pina. Seeing my hesitation, he reached out and snatched it, nibbling my finger in the process. I didn't even notice.
"Okay…" 'Silica-chan, I've fallen for someone else.' Or maybe 'It's just not working. You're too young for me.' Or even, 'Silica, who are we kidding? You're just too immature and have no body. What am I supposed to be attracted to when I have Asuna?' He didn't even say anything and I felt my heart crumbling…
I put my plate on the ground next to Pina, no longer hungry for food, as good as it was. My little friend just looked at me confused, unsure if I meant to give it all to him. Patting his head with an encouraging smile and dead eyes, he took it as a yes and dug in. Good thing I have my own sleeping bag; though I would want to find another side of the map so I can be alone. It'll be dangerous though, just being here alone… I could hide for the next few days until my status goes away…
"Someone was murdered." Eh?
"Wait… what?" What did that have to do with anything?
"When I was... at dinner, there was a scream and then we found someone hanging and stabbed. Then, he just died… right there in the safe zone."
"And…?" I asked, trying to get everything out of him.
"And it's a problem. There may be a new way to PK in a safe zone, so we're investigating it. I'm not going to be doing grinding for the next few days. I'm working out trying to find out who did it."
"That's it?" I felt silly belittling murder, but after hours of constant worry about one thing, other matters, even death, seemed trivial.
Furrowing his brow, Kirito looked confused at my words. "I think… so?" Apparently he's clueless as to what's in my head… Well, I never actually told him. I can't really expect him to just know.
"Nothing about leaving?" His expression changed from puzzlement to surprise. "You know, how your date made you realize your feelings? How you fell in love with the great Asuna the Flash? How you're leaving… me" I choked out the last few words, heart pounding and flashes from my dream returning.
"Asuna…? Me? In love with her?" He smiled slowly, letting out a small chuckle, eyes laughing at the audacity of it. I simply stared at him, too distressed at this point to even reply. Eventually he saw no change in my disposition and stopped laughing.
Clearing his throat, he continued. "Silica-chan, are you… jealous that I was invited to dinner by someone else?"
I felt myself snap it the word. "Jealous! How do you want me to be after sending those cryptic messages to me? It felt like you wrote them that way because you were trying to hide something! How else am I supposed to feel?! You leave to work, and then go to dinner with the most famous girl in Aincrad… someone more your speed…" Tears were pouring down at this point but I couldn't pay attention to them, needing to focus on my words and my anger and everything they implied. Especially how this could turn into… the end of us. "All the while, I'm sitting here with nothing to do but read over your messages and think about what exactly they implied. I thought you could tell me anything." My voice started to die down, settling on teary drabble. "I thought we were getting close. I thought… I… I…" I can't say it… I just can't.
I buried my face into my hands, weeping pathetically, feeling bad about ignoring my dear friend rubbing against me and trying to comfort me.
Around me, I felt Kirito approach sitting on my other side. Slowly a pair of arms wrapped around me and pulled me into his lap, cradling me as I cried.
A minute passed and as I choked out the last few sobs in a disgusting manner, I felt him kiss the top of my head. "Silica-chan." He whispered in my ear, breath tingling me. "I'm not interested in Asuna. She has looks but that's all it extends too. She actually hates me. It was strictly repayment of debt and then business. I… I'm not very good with feelings. I guess that's why my messages were so… unsatisfying. I apologize for that. I just…" He became silent for a few moments. Looking up, I stared at his face, trying to see if he stopped talking to think, or just because he had nothing to say. Turning his gaze at me, he looked into my eyes with renewed vigor. "I couldn't think of anything else but you during the day. Even with that… painful dinner, thoughts of you helped me stay civil with someone who obviously loathes me. I… I really like you Silica-chan. Okay? If you want to take a sleeping bag and go though, I won't stop you."
I see… So, my brain really was just overreacting… again. He isn't interested in her… That's good to hear. I nuzzled my face into his chest. "Kirito-kun?" I started after a moment of silence.
"Hai?"
"I have my own sleeping bag."
"Eh?" He let out, shocked.
"I just… wanted to sleep with you last night." I pulled back horrified. "I mean I want to share… I didn't mean… I just… I."
He laughed and shut me up with his lips, kissing me softly. Resting his forehead to mine, he chuckled. "I'd like that." I blinked at his words. "To share that is," he clarified.
Looking at his eyes ashamed, I nodded lightly. Hearing a rustle, me and Kirito simultaneously looked towards the side, my right his left. "Kyuu?" Pina let out, hovering an inch from our faces. We began to laugh at her invasion and cuteness. "Kyuuu."
Startling me, Kirito stood up, lifting me in the process, carrying me to the sleeping bag from last night. Getting situated, him holding me, my head against his chest, and this time Pina on our pillow, we fell asleep.
Waking up randomly, I saw the emptiness of night stretch out before me, everything bathed in black, the campfire long extinguished. Feeling a chill, I reached out and pulled the blanket over myself. Then, I rolled over and buried my face back into… Pina? Her feathers tickled my face and woke me up further. Kirito-kun?
The bed was empty, no sign of my beloved compatriot. "Kirito-kun…"
Man. I make things realllllly dramatic. Do you guys prefer it that way? Or is it just too over the top to be believable? Let me know. I'm glad I was able to release a decent length chapter for you guys and I'm sorry you had to wait so long. Tell me what you think about it. I know it had a bit of a dark opening,,, and middle, and end. xD Anywayyy.. yea
-Furr