So, some of you guys who read my other story, Mating Season, may be thinking, 'what da hell, why'da remove it?' and some of you may know why. Negative feedback, blah blah blah. Anyways, I've got a link to my smexy Rin x Shiemi story on my profile, so... yeah. Okay, next chapter, hope y'all enjoy! Bai bai! :P

I rubbed my temples as I leaned heavily against the side of the wall. I kept my eyes closed to the light and thanked the god I didn't even believe in that I didn't feel sick anymore.

I'd woken up at around three in the afternoon, and left almost immediately. I had to get out of there. I felt a bit better though, more relaxed, for some strange reason. I felt tired, mostly. But that probably came from a fitful night's sleep. I guess when I was tired that I didn't really have the energy to think much.

I felt my headache fade away and I forced myself to keep moving. I wasn't completely sure where I was headed though. I could go and show up at Cram School, I was a mess, and I hadn't gone to school the whole day.

My eyes widened. I hadn't gone back to the dorm last night! What was Yukio going to think? More like, what was he going to say? He probably wouldn't let me off the hook that easily. I might've gotten away with it when we were living at the monastery, because I always found ways to avoid the topic of my disappearances. A little persuasion, and Shiro would just let it go. I would tell him that I got lost of some bull shit story like that and he'd believe it, because it seemed like something that I would do.

But know that Shiro was gone, and Mephisto wasn't really around as my guardian, Yukio had practically taken over as my parent. And now that it was basically just me and him, he wouldn't drop it as fast as Shiro would. He'd pester me until he got the truth. Not that I was going to tell him, obviously. In fact, it would probably just be better to tell him that I'd gotten in a fight or something. Although, it didn't really look like I'd been in a fight. Oh, but they thought that I healed normally now, so they wouldn't think to much about it.

I frowned. I wonder what would happen if I actually got hurt in a fight. Would the wounds heal? Or would I not want them to heal?

I shook my head. No sense worrying about it. If they healed, they healed. If they didn't, well... I'd have a lot of lies to tell people. Why are my wounds not healing? Oh, maybe my energy is low or something. Psh.

I stopped walking. Why didn't I just tell Yukio what was wrong? I mean, I didn't want to be a burden on anyone, and I didn't want Yukio to protect me. I was tired of it. I didn't need it. But in the one time when I actually needed help, I was too afraid to ask for it. Too afraid or too embarrassed. But why should I be embarrassed? It was expected that I should go through this. I mean, being the son of Satan and everything? That's a pretty hard thing to bear. But I guess since I withstood it for so long, they all expected I could take it.

But glass can only take so much pressure and weight until it cracks.

I felt my chest tighten again, and that horrible feeling was back again. The feeling like my own body was going to suffocate me. I scratched at my arm, and blood beaded up. I looked down at my hands. In my brief moment of stress, my nails had grown out to long, sharp... claws. Like they did when I drew my sword. They always did that when I was stressed out or... or depressed.

I wiped a few tears off my cheeks with the back of my arm. That just suits a monster, doesn't it?

The feeling wasn't going away, and I took off running, as if I could get away from it somehow. I dashed through alleys and streets, passing the startled guards at the toll booth and finding my way, gasping, back to the dorm. I pulled out my phone, checking the time. 3:45, the first Cram School class was about to end, Demon Pharmaceutical. Yukio's class. If I didn't get somewhere else before Yukio got back, I'd have to face him like this; hung-over and tired out of my mind. He might just suspect something, seeing as this was the second day I'd been like this.

But I needed go get something first.

I opened the door and ran up the stairs to the upstairs bathroom. I quickly pulled out my razor and rolled up my sleeves. Just before I was about to do it, I stopped myself. I couldn't do it there, I'd reminded myself that it would be too risky. Somewhere else, somewhere less visible...

I ripped off my shirt and sucked in a breath. I pressed the blade to my side, just underneath my ribcage, and sliced the skin open with a quick movement. Blood beaded and dripped down, eventually soaking into the rim of my pants. I sighed, feeling some of the weight lift from my chest, and I continued, one after another. Finally, I stood, no weight, eyes closed, aware of the blood running down my stomach and hip. I let out the breath I'd been holding and set the razor down on the edge of the sink. I turned around and looked in the mirror. I let my gaze trail over the healing cuts on my wrist, and the fresh, bleeding ones on my side. I tried to make myself look at my face, but I couldn't bring myself to do it.

I tore my stare away from the reflective glass and turned on the water. I grabbed a wash cloth and held it under the water until it was soaked. I squeezed it out and wiped at the blood on my side. I went to the cupboard and pulled out a first aid kit. I unlatched it and took out a handful of band-aids. I rinsed the blood off again, dried it with a towel before the blood welled up again, and covered one of the cuts with a band-aid. One, two, three... fifteen. Fifteen cuts in all. Well, that is, fifteen on my sides. Plus the ones on my wrists, there were twenty five. Already.

I pulled my shirt back over my head and left the bathroom after picking up the blade I'd used and putting it into my pocket. I found my way back to my room and opened the door.

I froze, my heart skipping a beat.

Yukio sat at the desk, and he turned around when he heard the door open. He didn't look surprised or curious, he just looked angry. I resisted the urge to run from the room. I just stood in the doorway, and we watched each other for a full minute. Plenty of time for me to escape. But I didn't.

"So. Late night last night, Nii-san?" Yukio asked, his voice cold. I gritted my teeth and didn't answer. Then, after a tense, awkward moment, I spoke.

"I went into town yesterday. I got lost. Sorry." I replied, my voice stiff as a board. Yukio stood up abruptly, and I couldn't help but flinch away.

"And you couldn't find your way back before school had ended? You couldn't ask anyone? Or were you in a ghost town?" He questioned, his voice dripping with sarcasm. I tsked and looked away.

"I didn't want to bother anyone. Besides, I... I didn't want to ask for help." I lied. And it was oh-so-painfully obvious that I was lying. I'd never let my pride get the best of me, and Yukio knew that. Yukio knew that I would've asked for directions back to True Cross Town.

Yukio's footsteps made me look up, and when I did, he was standing right in front of me. Out of habit, I drew my arms back up into my sleeves. He stared me down for a moment before he spoke to me again.

"You're going to tell me exactly where you were last night, and what you were doing." He said quietly, crossing his arms in front of his chest and attempting to look intimidating. Like the fucking teacher he was. As if. He wasn't going to scare me like that.

I scared myself more than anyone else did.

I straightened up and noticed with satisfaction that I was now close to being taller than him. We were the same height. One less thing that he had. Finally I was as tall as he was. I took a deep breath and murmured two words.

"No way."

There was a shocked silence, and Yukio's eyes went a bit wider, as he hadn't expected my answer. He probably hadn't, he probably thought that I was just going to cave in and give up. That I was going to be his little obedient doggy and bow down like I normally did, however reluctantly.

Well, no more.

And when Yukio didn't say anything, I continued.

"I'm not going to tell you, because you have no right to know. I'm old enough to take care of myself," 'Yeah, right, Rin.' "and you are not my mom! I'm perfectly fine, and why should you care if I'm gone for a night?! At least I'm out of your hair, right? It's not like I'm off plotting with Satan, planning to take over the world! It's not like I'm out there murdering someone!" I finished with a shout.

Yukio's eyes narrowed. "So what were you doing out there? If it was so innocent, why won't you tell me?" He said, suspicion clouding his voice.

I swallowed, my throat suddenly dry. I averted my eyes. "It's none of your business what I do. It's my life, not yours." I whispered. I stalked past my brother and snatched up my hoodie. I quickly took off my black jacket, replacing it with the old, blue hooded sweatshirt.

I brushed past my brother, who still stood, stunned, and left the room. I was downstairs and almost out the door when I heard Yukio's footsteps on the stairwell.

"Nii-san!"

I didn't answer his calls. I slammed the door behind me, and I as soon as I was out the door, I ran.

I ran until I couldn't run any further, and I collapsed in an alleyway. I hadn't even made it out of True Cross town. But I couldn't go any further. My breath was gone, but my body insisted that I cry. So I did. I cried and wailed with my hands clasped over my mouth until the late spring sun dipped down below the horizon, and I was left in a dark alley, sobbing, silently screaming, tears streaming down my face.

And that was the last real emotion besides anger that I would feel for weeks. And weeks. And weeks.

Pain.

Sadness.

And then...

The anger would disappear.

And there would be nothing but loneliness.

I guess you could call it the start of the end.