"...kumura... Okumura!"

I blinked out of my daze and looked up, where my demon history teacher was scowling at me from behind the desk.

"It would do you well to get a decent night's sleep for once, Okumura. I can't have you falling asleep in my classes!" He scolded me.

I scoffed and leaned my head on my hand. I looked away. "Watch me..." I muttered under my breath. The teacher frowned and turned back to the board, where he went on with his lecture about some catastrophe in the past that was caused by some demon. I didn't bother listening.

I rubbed my dry eyes and tried to will my stomach to settle. I was nauseous again, and I didn't feel as though I could keep myself awake and functional much longer. I suppressed a groan as my head flashed with pain, an I closed my eyes against the artificial lights of the room. I heard Shiemi start to ask me something, but she quickly stopped. They'd mostly become used to me being tired... well, they thought I was tired. I always had an excuse ready. I was stressed, tired, busy... I'm not sure if they fully believed me, but it was working in the meantime.

I reached down under the desk without opening my eyes and took out my water bottle. I twisted off the cap and took a few sips, trying to hydrate my dry mouth. Side effects of the drugs, I was told by Rouga.

Speaking off Rouga. He wasn't good lately. In fact, he was probably worse than when I first met him... worse than I was even. He was always drunk now, I'd never see him sober anymore. He was always high off of something and he made no effort to hide the cigarette burns on his wrists and arms. He was the one who tossed me the bottle of Benadryl after I said that I was having even more trouble relaxing and sleeping.

And I gave in.

I felt awful. I mean, not when I was high, or drunk, but after the effects of either wore off, I felt as if I'd betrayed everyone. Myself, Father Fujimoto, Yukio, the others. But I couldn't help it. It was all too much, I had to escape through some means. Sadly, I had no other talent than cooking, and cooking didn't make me forget like alcohol. It didn't put me in a totally different state of mind like drugs. In other words, it didn't help.

Yukio stopped pestering me. Well, not entirely, but most of the time, he would go about like nothing was wrong. I don't know if he was just used to it now, or if he finally believed me when I said I was fine, or if he was just waiting for me to cave and tell him what was wrong. Ha. Like that would happen.

"Okumura!"

My eyes snapped open again. The teacher was in front of my desk. I looked around hazily. Shiemi had scooted a few inches away, cowering away from the teacher. Bon rolled his eyes and Izumo scoffed. Shima was intently looking at his book... he was probably looking at some dirty magazine behind the textbook. Konekomaru was watching me with a quizzical look, but I shook off the feeling the odd expression gave me and turned back to the teacher.

A vein seemed to be popping in his temple, and his cheeks were flushed with anger. He opened his mouth again and I prepared myself for a scolding.

"Okumura, you have to pull your act together or I will have to ask you to leave!" He yelled. I flinched at the loud noise and covered my ears with my hands. "This is not a joke, Okumura! I'm tired of your attitude towards me and towards this class!" My head pounded and I raised my head and glared at him.

"Wait, this is a class?" I growled. "I thought it was nap time! The stuff you've been told to tell us is certainly putting me to sleep." I looked away. I heard Shima snicker, but the teacher wasn't amused. He slammed his hands down on the desk.

"You will need to know this information in order to become an exorcist! If you feel like you don't need to learn this, then go on and try to pass your next exam! I wonder, what will the Vatican do?" He snapped.

That was too far. I hadn't insulted him personally, but he had just crossed the line and pointed out my position with the Vatican as the son of Satan.

I shot up out of my seat, ignoring my headache, and grabbed the teacher by the collar. He gasped, Shiemi cried out in shock and fear, and I heard the rest of the students stand up quickly, the benches scraping against the floor as they stood. I heard a few steps being taken towards me as I drew my fist back, but right before I was about to punch the teacher, a huge wave of pain swept through my head and I yelped.

I crumpled to the floor, holding my head and pulling on my hair, trying to relieve the pressure in my skull. I gasped as my head throbbed again, and the lights got brighter. My heart began to beat faster, and I purposefully slammed my forehead against the edge of the desk. I felt Shiemi grab my shoulders and pull me back, calling my name out, telling me to stop. I ripped away and did it again, this time with results.

The lights stopped fading and brightening, as they had been. The pain between my eyes, where the edge of the table had last hit, distracted me from the migraine, which was now subsiding into a mere dull ache again. My heart rate slowed and I breathed out. Blood dripped from my forehead from a small split in my skin, and I wiped it away with irritation.

I struggled to my feet and held onto the edge of the desk. I shook my head to clear my blurring vision and I felt Shiemi's hand on my shoulder.

"Rin, are you-"

"Moriyama-san, please step away from Okumura." The teacher interrupted her. She backed off and I turned my disoriented gaze to the middle aged man. He went on. "Okumura, I'm going to have to inform the headmaster of this incident and-"

"No need."

My gaze snapped towards the amused voice from the doorway, where Mephisto now stood, tapping his foot against the ground with a snide grin on his face. "I've come to ask Okumura-kun a few questions, Kawahara-san." He gestured me towards him with his hand and I reluctantly moved around the desk and over to him. He grabbed my shoulder in what must have looked like a friendly gesture, but it was more like a painful vice grip. "He won't be back today. Have a nice day, kiddies!" He said, addressing the others in the class, who were still in a shocked silence. He snapped his fingers and we disappeared in a cloud of pink smoke.

.oOo.

"Okay, wait, Yukio said what?" I groaned, holding my head and flopping down into a chair.

We were in Mephisto's office, and I wasn't in the mood for the things he was saying.

Mephisto laughed. "Well, I myself thought it was ridiculous at first, but I am your legal guardian. As I said, Yukio insisted that I talk to you as such. He seems to think you're in a.. time of confusion and crisis, I think is what he said." He smirked, petting his weird green hamster as he said so.

I snorted. "Time of crisis? Is he a moron? I'm fine, school's just stressful, that's all. Damn." I scoffed to cover up my pain in my head. It was seriously killing me it was so bad!

Mephisto snapped his fingers again and a bottle of Aspirin dropped into my lap. "Go on. It's very obvious that you have a headache. Just don't swallow the whole bottle, hm?" He raised an eyebrow mischievously.

I froze halfway through opening the bottle, but I quickly recovered. I twisted off the cap and took two of the Aspirin out. "What the hell is that supposed to mean, you damn clown?" I growled, putting the pills on my tongue and swallowing them.

Mephisto leaned back in his chair and crossed his fingers. "I'm under the impression that you are taking drugs for recreational purposes, are you not?" He was trying to seem serious, but I could see amusement and interest glittering in his green eyes.

Time to lie.

I laughed dryly. "If you think I'm taking drugs like that, you're even more of a moron than I thought... I've been having trouble getting to sleep for the past couple days, so I've been taking Benadryl. That's all." I tossed the bottle of Aspirin at Mephisto, but it disappeared in a puff before hitting him.

"Are you sure? It looks like you are suffering through after effects of a slight overdose." He pressed.

I rolled my eyes. "You might as well put on a pair of glasses and a pinstripe suit and act like a shrink. I'm not taking drugs like that." I insisted. I could feel my headache starting to fade as the medicine took effect.

"Well. You've thoroughly convinced me." Mephisto assured me, not sounding 'thoroughly convinced' at all.

I sighed and leaned forward, forcing my tired face into a serious expression. "Don't tell Yukio. I don't want him thinking the same thing you are. He's got enough crap in his life to deal with." I pleaded.

Mephisto waved his hand dismissively. "My my, what a caring older brother you are! Okumura-kun is lucky to have such a protective sibling. Don't worry, I had no intention of telling him, it would keep him from focusing and working hard." He reached down, opened a drawer, and pulled out a manila folder that was stuffed with files. "You can go now. Cram School's over, so do what you wish. I've said what I needed to say."

I suppressed a sigh of relief and stood up. I walked to the door, but when my hand was on the handle, Mephisto spoke again.

"Oh, Okumura?" He said.

I half turned. "What?"

He grinned. "Do say hi to your friend Rouga-kun for me, will you?"

I tensed.

He knew.

It was obvious.

I opened the door and left, slamming it behind me as I did so.

I walked down the hall of his office and down the long flight of stairs that would take me to the front doors of his mansion. I wrenched open the heavy doors and left. I huffed in annoyance as I looked out over the city, and cursing Mephisto for making me walk all the way down.

He knew where I was headed.

Maybe he was just having fun watching me die slowly of a headache.

I sighed and began my walk down the steps that would lead to the street. Everything else faded away, and my eyes remained just barely focused on my feet. All I could hear were my breaths, my feet hitting the steps. I was tired. I could get a full nights sleep now, but since I was taking too much Benadryl, it would leave me tired the next day. I couldn't afford to be tired, I had to be alert during missions! I couldn't be tired while fighting a...a kraken or something!

I had to stop.

But I couldn't. It was too much of a good feeling. The pleasant sleepiness, the calming effect. And as bad as some of the memories were, the good ones I relived made up for the imaginary spiders that would crawl out of the walls.

I stepped onto the street and continued my walk. I could feel my lungs tighten a bit. Damn, my actions were really taking a toll on me. I got winded, just from walking down a long set of steps? Pathetic. I used to be able to run nonstop for an hour and not wheeze.

This had to stop. The cutting, the drinking, the using, everything.

But I couldn't do it.

I wouldn't.

.oOo.

The bus stopped in front of a fast food restaurant near Rouga's place. I paid the driver, got off the bus, and immediately started walking towards the back street that would take me to Rouga's. A few drops of rain hit my head and I sighed. Perfect. Let's just set the scene.

God, I was getting tired. Side effect of the Benadryl. This wasn't good. I had a mission in two days, and if I was this tired, I wouldn't be able to stay awake or alert enough. I had to stop, at least until the mission was over and done with.

I ducked down the back street and approached the apartment. I knocked twice to let him know it was me before coming in. What I saw was not what I expected.

Rouga, with a smile on his face.

I blinked. He looked better. Full of energy, I mean. And it couldn't be drugs, right? All the drugs he had were pain meds and sleep meds and things like that, all things that made him tired. I felt a little bit of happiness spark in my chest. I hadn't seen him in a few days. Had something happened that made him a bit better?

He turned towards me and grinned. "Hey, Rin. What's up?"

No.

His eyes. His pupils were large, with only a thin ring of color around them. He was definitely high. On what, I didn't know.

I stepped forward, getting over my shock. "Nothing much. I'm just really tired." I said. I sat down in my normal chair and put my feet up on the small table he had. Rouga came over and sat across from me. He ground his jaw and his leg started to bounce, his foot tapping on the floor with a fast tapping noise.

I sighed. "What are you on?" I asked outright.

He licked his lips and shrugged. "Adderall. I have ADHD, but I never used to take my medication. I bribed my dad into filling my prescription again. I had to take more than prescribed though. The Benadryl was making me tired. I couldn't do anything. Besides," He leaned back in his chair. "I feel better on this. I feel good." He certainly seemed happier.

I forced a smile. "I'm glad it makes you feel better." I said truthfully. I closed my eyes and sighed again.

"What's wrong?" Rouga asked, sounding serious.

"My headmaster seems to know what I'm doing. He... he knows I come and hang out with you, and he guessed that I'm taking drugs."

"And he didn't do anything about it?" He sounded surprised.

"Nah... damn clown doesn't care about me." I muttered.

There was a moment of silence. "What about your parents? Do they know?" Rouga asked. It sounded feigned, as if he were asking a question he already knew the answer to. I ignored it, passing it off as my imagination.

"My, uh, my parents live... away. In Kyoto. They sent me to school here. So no, they don't have any idea about anything." I lied. It felt weird, but I couldn't risk him finding out about me, in case he knew anything about exorcists. It was always possible.

"Aight." He said. He didn't sound as though he believed me, but he dropped it, sensing my discomfort. There was a moment in which neither of us spoke, and we merely sat, staring out the grimy windows into the dim back street. "Hey, Rin," Rouga started again.

I looked up. "What-" I croaked, my voice suddenly hoarse again. I coughed to clear my throat and repeated myself. "What is it?"

Rouga swallowed. "If you... wanna take some of my Adderall... you know, to wake you up... you can."

My breath caught in my throat. The offer was tempting, and that scared me. But I took another look at how happy Rouga seemed, and reconsidered. How bad could the consequences be, if the best side of it was feeling energetic and alive and... happy again?

I took a moment. I took a deep breath.

"Sure."