Chapter 2, Meeting up at the Honker Burger
A large blue RV, just like the one seen at the opening of the season 4 Rugrats episode, 'Vacation,' sped down the highway, as Stu in the driver's seat, was looking from the road to his brother Drew in the passenger seat, who looked a bit unsure of Stu's driving abilities.
"Are you sure we're on the right road Stu?" Drew asked sarcastically.
"I already told you fifty times bro, I know where I'm going!" Stu shouted.
In the back of the RV were the Rugrats, Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, Lil, Angelica, Kimi and Dil, all curled up in their small beds taking a nap, while the rest of the adults were either quietly reading books and magazines to themselves, Charlotte was texting Jonathan on her cell phone, and Taffy was looking over some sheet music. The gang was on their way back from Florida, after taking that trip to Club Fred, they decided to take Lou's idea he had given to Stu a while back when getting a trailer during the events of the season 3 episode, 'Destination, Moon,' for everybody to head to Florida for the winter, where they could roast up some sand crabs, and soak up some sun.
They obviously, decided to not go for the entire winter, as Stu needed to get back to start getting things prepared to open up Christmas Land in two weeks, so they only went to Florida for the week of Thanksgiving, but it was now time, for them to take the long cross country journey back home to California, and get ready for Christmas. Unfortunately, Stu took I 90 North instead of I 90 West, sending them in the wrong direction, much to Drew's dismay. It became apparent when Stu started seeing billboards along the road advertising the Beets concert taking place that night in Bloatsberg, Virginia, and a sign that said, Bluffington, population, 20,0001, the same sign that Doug saw when he moved there.
"Uh, Bluffington, what the heck is Bluffington?" Stu asked.
Drew just rolled his eyes at his brother, pretty annoyed at this point.
"Way to go Stuie, you did it again, this is just as bad as your stupid inventions!" Drew grumbled.
Before Stu could speak up, the RV started making funny noises, like it was nearly out of gas.
"Uh oh." Stu muttered, as the engine blew and the RV stopped in the middle of the road.
The loud crash startled all of the babies awake, crying at the top of their lungs.
"Oh stop your belly aching." Angelica cried, looking out one of the windows to see they were no longer moving, and cars were wizzing past them.
"AAAHHH! Daddy!" Angelica cried.
Overhearing his daughter's screams, Drew got up from the passenger seat in the front of the car and went back to check on Angelica. On the way back there, he stopped by where the rest of the adults were hanging out.
"What's going on Drew?" Chas asked.
"Stu here went the wrong way, and now the engine blew. We're outside of a small town called, Bluffington." Drew replied, running up to his daughter who was hugging her Cynthia doll tight and sobbing quietly.
"Is everything okay princess?" Drew asked.
"Oh daddy, I heard a loud crash." Angelica cried into her father's stomach.
"It's gonna be okay princess, daddy's gonna get the RV fixed." Drew said reassuringly, patting his daughter soothingly on the back, as she started to calm down.
Didi, Betty, Howard, Kira, and Chas were doing the same with their kids, hugging them tight, helping them all to calm down, while Charlotte continued to be working on her laptop by this point. Just then, a Police officer road by and stopped when he saw the RV stopped in the middle of the road. He pulled over, went over to the driver's side of the RV, redirecting traffic in the process, and knocked on the side of the vehicle to get Stu's attention. Stu rolled down the window and approached the officer.
"RV trouble?" The officer asked.
"Yes sir, our engine blew, and we're trapped." Stu said.
"Not to worry, we're only a few short miles outside of Bluffington, I'll see that you guys get some help right away, and perhaps a bite to eat." The officer said, pulling out a cell phone and a walki-talki out of one of his pockets and speaking into them.
"Officer James, this is Officer Bill, do you read me? Over." Bill said into the walki-talki.
"This is Officer James how may I help you? Over." Officer James said from the other side of the walki-talki.
"We have a situation here, we need you to bring a toe truck and a couple of vehicles to transport a stranded family out on I 90 North. Over." Officer Bill said into the walki-talki.
"Will do that right a way Officer Bill. Over." Officer James replied.
"Over and out." Officer Bill signed off, before turning his attention back to the families in the RV.
"Not to worry, help is on the way." Officer Bill said to Stu with a smile.
"Thank you sir." Stu replied, as he got out of his seat and went to inform the rest of his passengers.
Thirty minutes later, a toe truck arrived along with three large vans, ready to transport the families to Bluffington, where the RV would be taken to a mechanic to get repaired, and the families could get a bite to eat. The police officers who were driving the vans got out of them and came over to the RV, where they safely escorted each family over to one of the three vans. The Pickles got into one van, where Taffy decided to ride, as she was Lulu's great niece, the Devilles got into another van, with the Finsters getting into the last unoccupied van. While everybody was getting settled, several adults spoke up about how hungry they were at this point.
"You know Howie, I sure could go for a nice cup of java right now." Betty commented, getting Phil and Lil strapped into some car seats they had in the van.
"Oh not to worry mam, I know just the place." The officer driver of their van said, helping Betty get situated in one of the seats in the back.
In the Finster's van, Chas's stomach grumbled loudly.
"What was that?" Kira asked, strapping Kimi into a car seat.
"My stomach." Chas replied, while strapping Chuckie into another car seat adjacent to his sister's.
"Oh not to worry, I know just the place." Their driver officer said, turning on the engine as Chas and Kira sat down and buckled their seatbelts.
In the Pickles van, Charlotte was barking orders at Jonathan on her phone.
"Our RV broke down and I don't know when we're gonna get back. So you'd better push back that meeting I have with the Christmas Land affiliates to next week Jonathan!" Charlotte bellowed into her phone.
"Relax Char, we're gonna get home just as soon as we can." Drew whispered calmly into the ear that wasn't occupied by a phone.
Charlotte completely ignored her husband, listening to a complaining Jonathan on the other end.
"I bet you guys are hungry, not to worry, I know just the place." The driver officer of the Pickles van called back to them.
"That would be great, as it's nearly lunch time, and we've been driving for over a day now, nearly out of the snacks we packed with us before leaving the hotel in Florida." Stu said, as he made himself comfortable in one of the back seats, while Didi finished strapping Tommy and Dil into car seats and got herself settled.
Soon, the vans and toe truck were off in the direction of Bluffington, where they followed the toe truck to the Bluffington mechanic, only to be met with some bad news. The shop was closed.
"Oh dear!" All of the van drivers shouted in unison.
"What's wrong?" Didi, Chas, and Howard asked from each of their respected vehicles.
"The mechanic is closed, looks like we'll have to take your vehicle to Bloatsberg." The drivers told each of their passengers.
"But what about a bite to eat?" Chas asked.
Without saying a word, the three vans drove in the direction of the Honker Burger, where two figures stood outside the building, one of them looked like a giant hamburger with hands, wearing shoes on its feet that looked like pickles, the other, was dressed like a giant bag of French fries, with potato skins for shoes.
"Welcome to the Honker Burger, may I help you?" The hamburger asked the drivers in the three vans.
"We're looking to bring our passengers inside for a bite to eat." The officer driver in the first van, carrying the Pickles family said to the hamburger.
"Allow me!" The tall boy dressed as a bag of French fries said to the driver, as he directed the three vans and the toe truck to some parking places in front of the restaurant.
While all of this was going on, the Rugrats all exchanged glances with one another in their respected cars.
"Wow Lillian, talking fries and a talking burger!" Phil exclaimed.
"Those weren't talking fries and burgers, cuz food can't talk!" Lil said.
"Yes it can Lillian." Phil argued.
"No it can't Phillip." Lil argued.
"Yes it can, Lillian." Phil argued.
"No it can't, Phillip." Lil argued.
"Can!" Phil screamed.
"Can't!" Lil screamed back.
"Hey hey pups, calm down!" Betty intervened, overhearing the loud babbles of her twins from the two seats next to her, as the driver pulled into a parking space.
"Wow Chuckie, those peoples looked really funny! I wonder if we can eat them!" Kimi cried excitedly, licking her lips.
Chuckie looked out the window at where the hamburger and fries were helping their van to get parked, then turned to his sister, a nervous look on his face.
"I don't know Kimi, they look kind of scary." Chuckie said nervously.
"Nah Chuckie, they don't look scary, they look fun!" Kimi cried excitedly, hoping to cheer her brother up, but the redhead wasn't totally convinced, as he had never seen talking food outside before.
"Wow Dilly look! Talking hamburgers and fries!" Tommy said excitedly to his little brother, who smiled and giggled at his brother's comment.
"You babies are so dumb, that's not real food, that's just people dressed up as food." Angelica griped.
"Yucky yucky!" Dil cried, turning his head in the direction of Angelica, and blowing her a raspberry, just as their van pulled into a parking space.
The passengers got out of their vehicles and headed into the restaurant, where they looked at a menu posted on the wall, and ordered their food. Meanwhile, when everybody's backs were turned, the hamburger and fries disappeared down a hallway to a back room, where they changed out of their costumes.
It all happened, the Thanksgiving following my family's trip to the Gorge. There was a huge Beets concert coming up in Bloatsberg, yes, this being Skeeter and mine's second concert, provided we could afford tickets. That's when I offered to fill in for Mr. Dink again, needless to say, the staff at Honker Burger had called me up while we were gone on our trip the previous summer, asking if I could also come back to do another stunt as Hamburger Boy that year in November during the week long Thanksgiving break. I guess they were impressed by my heroic rescue at last year's picnic at Lucky Duck Lake. However, this year, they were also introducing a new maskott, Fry Guy, who Skeeter agreed to take on the role of, so we could afford tickets. Lucky for us, the tickets weren't sold out this time, and we made just enough, as we were paid by the hour this time, but little did we know what would be in store for us on our last day at work, also the night of the concert. Thankfully, because rain was in the forecast, with the picnic having to be put off until November for reasons even I don't know about, the picnic for this year was sadly canceled, meaning we'd be finished after lunch, giving us plenty of time to catch the Beets Bus and make it to the concert, but we had no idea that some of our customers that day at lunch, would need, yep, you guessed it, a babysitter.
Skeeter and Doug, now changed out of their costumes and back in their regular clothes, came out of the back room and back into the main portion of the restaurant.
"Wow Doug, that was cool! I can't wait to play Fry Guy again next summer, or possibly over Christmas break if they need us to come back again." Skeeter said excitedly.
Doug stomped on his foot quickly.
"Uh, Skeeter, nobody's suppose to know, remember?" Doug whispered angrily in between gritted teeth into Skeeter's ear.
Skeeter turned to him, rolling his eyes and looking embarrassed. The two boys went and placed their lunch orders, and sat down at a table, where Skeeter pulled out a book he had brought with him to look at.
"What are you looking at Skeet?" Doug asked, pointing to the book in Skeeter's hands.
"Oh, it's the new Beets book that just came out. It's called The Beets, The Official Book. It is incredible! It talks all about how the Beets got together, including short biographies of each Beats member, pictures, and more! Look! Here's a picture of Chap Lipman as a baby!" Skeeter said, turning the book towards Doug so he could get a closer look.
Before him was a picture of the Beets drummer, Chap Lipman as a baby, with his real name, Cloyd at the top of the page, along with his birthdate.
"Wow that's neat Skeet." Doug said, taking another bite of his hamburger.
"And tonight, we're going to our second Beets concert in Bloatsberg!" Skeeter said excitedly, raising his hand in the air, as Doug also raised one of his hands and high fived him.
A few tables over, the Pickles, Finsters, and Devilles were all gathered with the Police officers, getting a bite to eat, as the toddlers were babbling to one another, happy to be out of the RV and those vans.
"Bloatsberg? We'll have to take the RV to, Bloatsberg? How far away is that?" Didi asked one of the officers.
"It's an hour away, would that be a problem?" one of the officers asked.
"No, but, we were really hoping for the kids to be able to get some leg room to run around." Didi said.
"Yeah, they've been cooped up in the RV forever." Kira added.
Just then, Betty looked around and spotted Doug and Skeeter a couple of tables over, then turned back to Taffy, who looked like she was about ready to fall asleep.
"I'd gladly stay here with the minis, but I've been having trouble sleeping, and I am trying to get some new songs written for the band." Taffy said.
"Not to worry Taffy, I think we can arrange something." Betty said, pointing over at the table where Doug and Skeeter were sitting.
Didi then turned to Betty.
"Oh I don't know Betty, leaving our kids with total strangers?" Didi asked out of concern.
"Awe come on Deed, they look like they're from around here, maybe they can help us out." Betty said.
Didi let out a reluctant sigh, but knew at this point, everybody had no choice, so they went over to the young boys.
Doug and Skeeter were happily enjoying their lunch, when Doug felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned to see a large muscular woman standing before him with brown hair.
"May I help you mam?" Doug asked.
"I think the question is, may we, help, you?" Betty replied.
"Huh?" Doug asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Look, you two have any experience with kids?" Betty asked.
Overhearing this, Skeeter looked up from his Beets book towards the woman.
"Sure! I watch my baby brother Dale all of the time." Skeeter replied.
"Great! Hi I'm Betty Deville, over there is Taffy, my husband Howard, our twins, Phil and Lil, my friend Didi Pickles, her husband Stu, their sons, Tommy and Dil, Stu's brother Drew, his wife Charlotte, their daughter Angelica, and our friends, Chas and Kira Finster, and their kids, Chuckie and Kimi. Our RV broke down and we're gonna need to travel to Bloatsberg to fix it. But we don't want the pups to have to sit around with nothing to do. Would it be possible for you two to watch the kids this afternoon?" Betty asked.
I wasn't so sure about this, but I knew this woman must be desperate, seeing when I was still in my Hamburger Boy costume, I saw them come to the Honker Burger escorted by Police officers, and their RV on a toe truck.
Doug and Skeeter exchanged glances, then turned their attention back to Betty. Both of them had experience watching Dale before, but to watch seven children at once, and get to a Beets concert? Then it hit them. They had nothing going on for a few hours, thanks to the picnic being canceled, and they were going to Bloatsberg for the concert, giving them a brilliant idea.
"Sure Mrs. Deville, Skeeter and I would be happy to watch you and your friends kids." Doug said, shaking Betty's hand.
"Yeah! We're going to the big Beets concert tonight anyway, we'll just meet up with you guys there this evening, and you can collect the kids there!" Skeeter added.
"Okay it's settled then. Everyone, meet our new babysitters." Betty hollered over to her large table of friends, as everybody came up over to where Doug and Skeeter were sitting, and went around, introducing themselves.
Chuckie turned to Tommy.
"What's going on Tommy?" Chuckie asked.
"I don't know Chuckie, but I think we're getting some new babysitters." Tommy replied.
"I hope they're as nice as Taffy." Chuckie said.
"All they've gots to do is sing and play guitar, and take us to lots of fun places." Kimi said.
While the toddlers were talking with one another about these new babysitters, the adults handed over the kids' strollers and diaper bags to Doug and Skeeter, with Didi naming off everything she packed for Tommy and Dil in their bag.
"Now you kids be good, we'll see you tonight." Didi said, kissing the tops of Tommy and Dil's foreheads before heading back outside to the parking lot to the van they previously occupied.
All of the parents went around, telling their kids goodbye, as they headed back outside, and before they knew it, the three vans and toe truck were heading out of the Honker Burger parking lot, heading in the direction towards Bloatsberg.
Thanks to getting myself in over my head, it looked like Skeeter and I were about to be going on one heck of a babysitting adventure, we'd never forget.
"So, what should we do now Doug?" Skeeter asked.
Just then, Dil made a poop in his diaper.
"Poopy!" Dil cried.
"Uh oh Tommy, I think your brother needs a new diapie." Phil said.
"No worries Phil, I've got it." Tommy said, starting to pull off his brother's yellow sleeper and change Dil's diaper himself, as Lil and Kimi pulled out powder and a fresh diaper from Tommy and Dil's diaper bag, right in the middle of the restaurant, when Skeeter got up from his seat and took the diaper and powder from Lil and Kimi's hands.
"No worries kids, allow me!" Skeeter cried, picking up Dil and carrying him off to the bathroom where he changed his diapers.
"Now hold still Dil, here comes the spaceship coming in for a landing." Skeeter said in a funny voice, making Dil on the changing table giggle, as he made spaceship noises, pretending Dil's clean diaper was a spaceship, as he applied the powder and placed the clean diaper on to his bottom.
A few minutes later, he had Dil put back into his yellow and red sleeper, and was carrying him out into the restaurant, where everybody was still gathered around the table.
"See? I told you I could handle it." Skeeter said to the toddlers, who all looked up at him and smiled.
"So Skeet, shall we head back to my house? My parents are out for the day and Judie is off looking at colleges, so we'd have the entire place to ourselves." Doug suggested.
"Sure! I'd suggest we take the gang to my house, where they could meet Dale, but unfortunately, my little brother has a bad cold and ear infection. I wouldn't want us to get in trouble on account of my little brother getting everyone sick." Skeeter said.
"Then to my house it is then. We can hang out there until it's time to leave for the Beets concert. The Beets bus will be picking up passengers in the Honker Burger parking lot at around five-thirty this afternoon." Doug said, helping Skeeter to get the kids strapped into their strollers.
"I don't wanna go to no concert, Doug." Angelica grumbled.
"You don't wanna go hear the Beets? You don't know what you're missing Angelica, the Beets are awesome! Look, here's what they looked like at your age." Skeeter said, opening a page of his Beets book to a picture taken of each member of the Beets when they were little boys.
"Who's that kid?" Angelica asked, pointing to a picture of a five-year-old Monroe Yoda.
"This is a picture of the Beets lead guitarist, Monroe Yoda, when he was only five-years-old." Skeeter replied.
"Wow really?" Angelica said, looking at the picture in amazement.
Skeeter was at least happy he managed to cheer up the three-year-old blond enough to tolerate her as the gang went on the long walk from the Honker Burger with the kids strapped into their strollers to Doug's house at 21 Jumbo Street. Once they had everything cleaned up, Skeeter and Doug had the diaper bags over their shoulders, along with their backpacks they had brought with them to work, and Skeeter pushed Phil and Lil while Tommy pushed Tommy and Dil, with Chuckie, Kimi, and Angelica walking close by. On the walk back, the boys decided to introduce the kids to one of their favorite Beets songs.
"And here's one of their biggest hits, the Beets, Killer Tofu!" Skeeter cried, as he and Doug burst into song.
Ah Ee Oo, killer tofu,
Oo ee oo, killer tofu
"Wow! Neat song!" Angelica cried, as the gang finished their long walk and found themselves at the end of Doug's sidewalk that lead up to his front door.
"Look at that kids, we're here!" Skeeter said.
"Wow!" All of the Rugrats said in unison, with Dil letting out a little giggle.
"Housey housey!" Dil cried.
"Yep Dilly, it's a house, and I bet this place looks like a great place for an aventure." Tommy said with a smile, turning his gaze from his brother back to the house, as Doug approached the front door to let them in.
Skeeter came up behind him with Phil and Lil, and Angelica was on Skeeter's tail, with Kimi right behind her, and Chuckie, nearly losing grip of his sister's hand, as he grew nervous. Kimi turned around to her brother.
"What's wrong Chuckie?" Kimi asked.
"I don't like this, we're going to some house I've never been to before and mommy and daddy aren't here." Chuckie said.
"Don't worry Chuckie Doug and Skeeter are nice! I bet their place is fun!" Kimi said with a smile, beaming with anticipation.
Chuckie sighed.
"Oh all right, if you say so." Chuckie replied, walking up the steps to Doug's front porch cautiously, as Doug turned the key in the lock of his front door as he unlocked it and lead everybody into his house.
And so, how will things go at Doug's house? Find out, in the next chapter!
Author's Note: So as you can see, where Rugrats is concerned, this story takes place during season 9, after the events of 'Club Fred,' and before the events of 'Babies in Toyland,' and in the Doug universe, this story takes place during what would have been season 5, had Nickelodeon continued the series past the season 4 finale, 'Doug's Bad Trip.' Also, did you guys notice what Skeeter's Beets book was a parody of? When I was younger, and the band, NSYNC was popular, I had this really cool book that I read from cover to cover in the late 90's called NSYNC, The Official Book, which was just that, a book about NSYNC, talking about each band member, their backstories of their lives as children, how they met and became a band, etc. I always figured eventually, the Beets would probably come out with something like that, and with what a huge fan Skeeter is of the Beets, he'd get engrossed in such a book as soon as he could get his hands on a copy of it. I also made up the Fry Guy mascot for the Honker Burger, though I was partially inspired by the Mcdonalds characters from when I was little, I recall one of them looking like a bag of French fries or something, though it's been years since I've seen those Ronald Mcdonald's shorts, I could be getting things mixed up. However, you now see why here, the version of Doug that Disney produced is uncannon, as in that version, the Honker Burger closed, with some diner opening up in its place. The name of it escapes me right now, but so many things changed on that series, I couldn't stand it, and I felt in my opinion, they overall, ruined Doug. I love Disney with a passion, but that's one piece of property that I seriously wish, they had left alone. Now that I'm done ranting, to anybody who's reading and reviewing, I hope you're enjoying the story thus far, and be looking for more chapters, coming soon!