"Abs, this isn't what it looks like…" Ben began, holding his hand out in a stop sign with his arm stretched out towards Abi. He was taking deep and steady breaths to calm himself as he was beginning to panic. Abi knew. Jay knew but he kept stumped…but Abi? God knows what she could do!
"Oh don't give me that," Abi spat in disgust as a tear escaped her eye and ran down her cheek. "That's like the oldest excuse in the book!"
Abi couldn't stay strong. She had been hurt enough and she just wanted to escape. Without another word, she scarpered out of the house, shaking the whole household with a loud slam of the door.
"Abi!" Ben yelled. He let out an angry sigh as his hands pulled at his short brown hair.
"I'll go after her," Jay said, warningly. With that, Jay rushed out of the house in search of Abi.
"My dad's going to kill me!" Ben exclaimed with fear and panic dripping out of his speech.
"How do you know that?" Paul asked, reassuringly as he pulled on his top. "You're his son, he will understand eventually.
Ben finished putting on his t-shirt and shook his head with a serious expression painted on his face. "You don't know my dad like I do."
Jay didn't have to find Abi- he could hear her from outside the wooden gate of the Mitchell house. He jogged over to the Square gardens to find her bending down beside the bush and puking her guts up loudly whilst sobbing uncontrollably.
"Oh Abs," Jay sighed as he rubbed her back comfortingly. "Just let it all out."
Abi continued being sick for a little while until there was nothing left to bring up. She just took deep and steady breaths to try and pace herself. But that didn't work. She slowly felt herself crumbling. Without hesitation, she let all of her tears come flooding out as she wailed loudly. For a moment she had forgot that Jay was standing behind her.
"Come here," Jay spoke softly, pulling her against his chest.
Abi just cried and cried- she couldn't stop. She didn't know how to. She felt like she was going to fall to the floor but Jay had hold of her. She just knew for some reason that he wasn't going to let her go.
Just when she thought everything was falling into place, just when she thought things were looking up. Then, within a single flash, everything comes crumbling down like a tower of blocks. She felt like her whole world was shattering around her. She felt like she was faced with darkness- like she was staring into a black hole.
She thought that she had stopped people walking all over her ages ago but she was wrong. She had let her childhood best friend do it. She had let her so called boyfriend walk all over her. There was definitely no way back for them now. She felt so humiliated. People had always been telling her that Ben was gay, but she ignored them, being persistant that he wasn't gay and defending their relationship. She loved him and she believed that he loved her too.
She was blind. She was very much blind indeed. She was blind to the fact that Jay was in love with Lola and on top of that, she was blind to the fact that Ben was gay.
What is my life coming to? Her subconscious sobbed. Her world was being torn apart. She had no idea where she was going to go from here.
Abi stopped crying and tried to pull herself together by inhaling the night air and taking deep breaths. Although, she couldn't help but whimper like a puppy.
"Why don't we go for a drink, eh?" Jay suggested gently as he pulled Abi away from him to look at her but kept his arm firmly wrapped around her shoulders.
Abi sniffed and nodded, wiping wet tear stains that she was on her cheek. I bet I look a mess! She thought.
Jay's hand was located on the small of Abi's back as he supported her whilst they walked towards the Vic. Jay pushed the double doors as they swung open, allowing the pair to enter the lively pub.
"Jay, bruv," Fatboy called as him and Lee leant forward against the bar with cloudy pints sitting in front of them. "We were wondering where you had go to. Did you get your wallet?"
"Yeah, yeah I did," Jay spoke as he scratched the back of his neck, awkwardly.
"I didn't know that you would be bringing female company," Lee's lips turned into a small smirk as he started to get very tipsy. Abi noticed Whitney scowl at her boyfriend from behind the bar, which made her feel a bit better- at least not all couples are lovey dovey at the moment.
"Look, not now boys," Jay tried to explain in a hushed tone as he leaned towards them. "There's something I need to deal with."
"Oh yeah, you got some business to deal with have you Jay?" Lee winked, suggestively. Jay put his hand on his forehead, shaking his head in disbelief whilst Abi looked away, trying to stop her cheeks from flushing furiously. It had been over a year since anyone has seen the two of them in that way. She didn't know what to think about it- her head was all over the place.
"Alright Lee, upstairs!" Linda demanded as she went and stood beside Whitney. "Go on, I think you've had enough now don't you?"
"Oh come on mum," Lee whined.
"Lee, just go upstairs," Whitney snapped. "Can't you see that Abi's upset?"
Lee held his hands up in surrender, "Alright, alright I'm going- night all!"
With that, Lee went round the back of the pub and climbed up the staircase. Fatboy turned to Jay and Abi sympathetically.
"I'm sorry about him, he's had a bit too much to drink," Fatboy apologised.
"Don't worry about it," smiled Abi, falsely.
"Why don't you two go and take a seat?" Whitney suggested. "I'll bring your drinks over- what are you having?"
Jay looked at Abi with a raised eyebrow as he waited for her response.
"Oh I'll just have a pineapple and Malibu please," Abi said casually.
"I'll just have a pint," Jay added. "Cheers Whit."
Whitney gave a small smile before Jay led Abi to the table in the corner. They sat themselves down on the comfy seats.
"I can't believe Ben would do this to me," Abi began to rant. "I've known him for years and I would have never even dreamed of him cheating on me- especially with a bloke!"
Jay sighed. "I'm sorry Abs," Jay scratched his head awkwardly. "I did try to warn him."
"What do you mean?" Abi frowned. Her mouth stood agape as she realised what Jay had just meant. "What, you knew?!" She exclaimed.
Jay nodded guiltily, "I'm sorry Abs. I thought it was my place not to say anything y'know? I wanted Ben to tell you himself, I wanted him to come out as I knew it wasn't fair on you. I still care about you Abi and I didn't want Ben to hurt you. He was just stringing you along. Although, I was so close to telling you a while ago as Ben obviously didn't have the guts," Jay sighed angrily. "He said he would finish it with Paul but obviously he lied to me. Don't worry Abs, you weren't the only one he betrayed- he's supposed to be my brother!"
Abi smiled timidly as she looked at her former lover, "It's not your fault. Do you really still care?" She gulped.
"Of course I do, you muppet!" Jay grinned as he pulled Abi towards him, giving her a side hug in which Abi giggled to a bit.
"There you are you two," Whitney smiled as she put the two drinks down on the table. She looked at Abi, "Are you alright, Abs? Look, I know Lauren's not around anymore but I am her best mate, so if you ever need a chat, you know where to find me."
"Thanks Whit," Abi smiled. She took a sip of her drink as Jay took a sip of his.
"I'll see you later," Whitney gave a small smile before going back to the bar and talking to Fatboy.
"Thinking about it, Lauren and I didn't leave on very good terms," Abi stated sadly, feeling her pupils burn as hot tears were trying to escape. "And that was because I was so deluded. I mean, I wasn't even willing to listen to Lauren, my own sister, because of my boyfriend's family. Phil made me believe that my father was guilty. Well, he is but Phil pushed me even further. The things I did for Ben," Abi sighed frustratedly as she sat back, taking small sips of her drink.
"Abi, I'm sure you will make up with Lauren. She's your sister. Just give her a ring tomorrow, I'm sure she would love to hear from ya," Jay reassured.
"Maybe," Abi bit down on her bottom lip. Jay forgot how much he loved it when she did that!
Jay frowned as he noticed how Abi looked ruffed up a bit, "Abs, not being funny but how did your hair get messy? I swear it wasn't like that when you left the house earlier this evening."
"Yeah well I had a fight with Bernadette," Abi shrugged it off. "That's why I came back so early!"
Jay stared at Abi bewildered. In all his life, he had never heard of Abi ever having a fight. "I thought you and Bernadette were mates?" He frowned.
"Oh come on Jay," Abi rolled her eyes. "You know how she always has to have a dig at people and make those odd remarks. Seriously, she thinks that she's a flammin' princess!"
Jay bit down hard on his lip as he tried not to laugh, "Well, what did she do to upset you?"
Abi sighed, "She started saying how I'm not perfect and started to slag off my family and how my dad's in prison and started talking about genes and how it can run down. Then, she started talking about my relationship with Ben…thinking about it, I guess she was right. She said 'once a gay, always a gay!' She added the phrase in a squeaky girly voice.
Jay rolled his eyes as he listened to Abi rant on about her latest girl drama in which he found amusing. He had to admit- that was one of the things that he missed about her. She always use to come to him about the latest drama and as always, he use to sit there and listen.
"She also said you were fit," Abi mumbled quietly in annoyance as she looked away. She didn't think that Jay had heard the last bit but he did as his lips formed into a smirk for a few seconds when her head was turned.
There was an awkward silence as Jay and Abi just sat there and drank their drinks.
"Sooo…how are you finding single life?" Abi's head slowly turned towards Jay again as she tried to sound cool.
Jay shrugged, "It's alright. To be honest, Lola and I were never really together. We only acted like a couple for a few days before she moved to Newcastle. Even though I liked her for a while, it's not too bad. I've got over it."
"Yeah I am sorry about what happened," Abi smiled sympathetically.
"Not your fault," Jay shrugged it off. "I just know I won't be going back there."
"Well I guess we have both learnt our lessons," Abi considered, smiling a little.
"I didn't break up with you because of Lola, Abi," Jay suddenly said, which made Abi look directly at him. "You may have thought I did but I didn't. It wasn't you, it was me ok? You had potential Abi and you still do and you were going off to university. You were going up in the world and where did that leave me, eh? I thought about it and I wasn't going up like you were. I was just going to be a mechanic in Bolton which is my job here. I didn't want to hold you back. I wanted you to have a life and I didn't want you to have me tag along as I would have been no good there. Plus, you were planning for your future and studying for exams and then there was Lola. I had been hanging out a lot with Lola and she was still caught up with Peter and I guess I started developing feelings for her. You were getting on with your life Abi, you had a great future ahead of you and I didn't want to get in the way of that. Also, if those feelings that I had for Lola were real, then I didn't want to string you along. I wanted you to get on with your life as you deserved better."
Abi absorbed every word Jay had said, allowing all of the memories to stream back into her mind.
"Let's not talk about it," Abi responded, bravely. "It's all in the past now."
"Alright drink up folks- it's closing time!" Mick announced loudly as he rang the bell.
"Come on, let's get out of here," Jay said quietly as him and Abi downed the rest of their drinks.
Abi sighed sadly as they stood up, "Why am I going to do tonight? I feel like no where's a home for me anymore."
"You can sleep in my bed tonight," Jay insisted. "I'll sleep on the sofa."
Abi gave a small smile, "Thanks Jay."
On that note, Jay and Abi left the Vic and absorbed the surroundings of the night life of Albert Square.
"I don't want to go back just yet," Abi groaned. She really didn't want to see Ben in her current frame of mind. She knew that she had to face him at some point, but not yet. Not tonight.
"Well how about we hang out at the park for a bit?" Jay suggested, indicating the swings with the use of his dazzling green eyes.
Abi nodded before they headed over to the park. Abi found herself standing next to the dice which was located at the front of the play park. She started to get emotional as she reminisced back to the good memories that were shared in the play park but those two dice brought doom upon her. That is when she felt that her life really went downhill.
"You okay?" She heard that familiar voice echo in her ear drums. She sniffed as she wiped away a tear that managed to escape down her cheek.
"Hey," Jay said softly. He tugged at her arm gently as he turned her round to face him. "What's wrong?" He used his thumb to wipe away her falling tears.
"It's just memories y'know," Abi responded. "I mean, good memories were made here weren't there?" She chuckled sadly.
"Ssshh," Jay hushed, his thumb softly pulling down Abi's bottom lip. "There's no need to cry, babe. There's no need to be sad…not anymore."
For a moment, Jay and Abi just stared at each other, just gazing into each other's eyes. With the alcohol rushing to their heads and without thinking for a second longer, their lips quickly crashed onto one another's. Abi's fingers got knotted into Jay's hair whilst Jay grabbed hold of Abi's petite waist and pulled her closer towards him so that their chests were touching. They didn't know how to stop and they didn't want to either. They just continued to kiss each other hungrily.