A/N: Don't forget! Favourite, follow and review- it's what gives me the most inspiration! ;D

This was it. Abi Branning was so done with Ben Mitchell. She would have been okay if Ben had just told her the truth about his sexuality instead of playing away with a bloke behind her back. They would have gone their separate ways, left on good terms, or even might not have gone there in embarking on a relationship. Now, it just caused heartbreak and misery. The saddest thing was that Ben had also destroyed their long term friendship. She was there for him no matter what- she still loved him even though he has been in prison for assault and for murdering Heather Trott. That took courage to love someone like that. But then again, she did love Jay and he didn't have an easy lifestyle to begin with either. Contemplating on it now, her life hadn't been easy either with her parents constantly being unhappy and breaking up due to her father's lying and cheating ways. Karma had caught up with him, Abi thought, sadly that was prison.

At least Abi was away from it all now. It had been a good couple of hours since she appeared on Dot's doorstep with her suitcase in hand. Dot happily let her in with welcoming arms and accommodated her with her own room which she unloaded all of her stuff. She had her own space where she could be away from everyone if she wanted to. She could lock herself away if she really wanted to and be in her own little bubble. She tended to do that a lot when she was a child, whenever she heard her parents scream down each other's throats. She admitted to herself that she's a mess herself; she hadn't really been herself for a very long time. It all started when her and Jay broke up which led to her running over her dog Tramp. She loved that dog, but most of all she loved Jay.

That's right- she loved him. Past tense. That's what she had to keep reminding herself, despite what happened last time, despite that thernominal love making session that they shared last night. No matter how much she really enjoyed it, how could either of them been thinking straight? They had both been drinking. The most important thing is that it was protected. She couldn't go back there; she didn't know if she could, she was scared to go back. She was so heartbroken when they broke up and even though Jay ensured last night that it wasn't really because of Lola, she had a niggling feeling that it was and him saying how their paths didn't match was just an easy way out.

Abi couldn't risk getting her heart broken again, she just couldn't. She had enough heartbreak to last a lifetime!

She couldn't believe that she had been so stupid. Of course Ben was gay, he will always be gay. She could have had a way out when she smelt an abnormal aftershave on Ben that one time when the two of them were going for dinner with Abi's work colleagues. Now, she realised. That must have been Paul's aftershave that she smelt on Ben. It wasn't paranoia like Ben had managed to convince her- that was the truth. It sickened her how Ben could lie to her for months on end after everything they had been through since they were young children.

It was just the fear of being alone- she didn't want to be alone. She was scared of being alone. Abi had to be brave now. She had to face it otherwise she would just keep getting hurt, over and over again. She didn't want that. She didn't want that for herself.

"Abi!"

Abi looked up as she sat at the kitchen table to find Dot coming towards her with Rebecca following closely behind. Even though Rebecca was Sonia's daughter, Abi didn't really speak with her. She hadn't really got the chance. She didn't even know what Rebecca thought of her, but she probably thought that Abi was some sort of stuck up cow who stitched her own father up.

"Abi," Dot said merrily. "Look who's here!"

"Erm hi," Rebecca greeting awkwardly, looking down and turning her head away.

"Hi," Abi simply said, pulling a false smile.

"Rebecca's been round a friend's and she's forgot her key," Dot explained. "No one's in at her house. Is it alright if she stays with you? I have to just pop down the launderette."

"Yeah, that's fine," Abi smiled at her great grandmother before turning to Rebecca. "Do you want a tea?"

"Erm, please," Rebecca said, slightly taken aback.

Abi smiled widely at Rebecca before rising from her chair which was at the head of the table and began to put water in the kettle. She realised for a while now that she had been blocking people out of her life. Abi was determined to start over. She wanted to start building bridges with people again. She wanted to start a fresh. She wanted to be the Abi she once was. She wanted to make an effort and this is where she was going to start.

Dot smiled at Abi, "Lovely! I'll leave you two to it. I won't be long."

Dot walked down the hallway to put on her coat and pick up her handbag, "Bye!"

"Bye," Abi and Rebecca chorused as Dot left the house.

An awkward silence stood throughout the room as Abi boiled the kettle and got two mugs out and dropping a tea bag in one of them, leaving Rebecca staring at her, not knowing what to say or do. She didn't know her really.

"So," Rebecca gulped. "How come you're staying with grandma?"

Abi poured the hot and sizzling water into the two mugs as she was trying to think of the right thing to say. Jay was right- she had to keep a bit of dignity. She didn't want everyone to know the real reason as to why her and Ben broke up.

"Y'know sometimes things just don't work out," Abi smiled nervously, not that Rebecca could see her facial expression, Abi had her back to her.

"Did you and Ben Mitchell break up?" Rebecca frowned.

"Yeah, we did," Abi admitted as she got milk out from the fridge. She shrugged her shoulders, "No big deal though. Things happen, people change…"

"Blimey!" Rebecca exclaimed as she pulled out a chair and sat down. "I thought you two were going to last forever."

Abi chuckled as she glanced at Rebecca before turning away and putting milk in the tea. She had a point in a way as it wasn't that long ago since Ben and Abi had announced to the Mitchells that they were thinking of getting their own place. That seemed to happen a lot in her life, goals are set and things start looking up which gives you something to look forward to, then it crumbles before your very eyes.

Thinking back, that's exactly what had happened between her and Jay. They had something to look forward to. They were going to move away to Bolton together and Abi was going to go to university and she would eventually become a vet. Maybe her and Jay would have decided to live in Bolton in the end. Things were really looking up for the both of them and they were both really excited. Well, Abi was. She was unsure about Jay though, because that was the reason why things suddenly flipped upside down. He got cold feet and confessed that he liked Lola and how she didn't feel like a home anymore. He claimed that with Abi's new life, he felt like he was in a waiting room, felt that he didn't really belong anymore, that this was her life, and not his.

Abi didn't know where things were going to lead with Ben, but she was taking one step at a time. They were starting to build something, she agreed, but deep down, she didn't really know what the future held for the both of them. However, she was certain that her and Jay would have lasted forever.

"How many sugars do you want in your tea?" Abi enquired, making an attempt to change the subject.

"Oh just two," Rebecca replied, quietly.

Abi plonked two teaspoons of sugar into Rebecca's tea and one into hers before she stirred them both. As she put the hot drinks on the table and Rebecca thanked her, the sound of the doorbell invaded the privacy of the household.

Abi let out a sigh as she walked over to the door. With her head held high, she swung the door open with a brave smile painted on her lips. However, the smile soon dropped and expression turned cold as she saw the person who was standing on the doorstep- Kathy Beale. She knew why she was here and that was to talk about Ben. She was done with her relationship with Ben, she didn't want to talk about it and she was never going back. No matter what anyone said, it wouldn't change anything.

"What do you want?" Abi asked, bluntly.

"I wanted to talk to you Abi," Kathy stated calmly.

"Yeah, well now's not exactly a good time," Abi spoke, persistently.

"Ben told me about your argument," Kathy pointed out. "Look, you just have to be patient with these things darlin'."

Abi raised her eyebrow, "What exactly did Ben say to you?"

"That you and him want to get your own place and how you're fed up of being at the Mitchells, saying how you want your own place," Kathy responded, with a sympathetic smile. "It takes time these things, it's all money at the end of the day. It will happen when the time is right- you just have to wait a bit longer. I mean, if you're fed up of living at the Mitchells then why don't you move into Ian and Jane's? I'm sure they won't mind."

Abi turned her head as she laughed in disbelief. She turned back to Kathy, "Is that what he's been telling you is it?"

Kathy let out a sigh. She looked directly at Abi, "I would also like to add how hitting Ben was uncalled for. I saw what you did. He can't help how things at the moment, you just have to learn to compromise." She commented in a stern manner.

Abi rolled her eyes dramatically as she had grown even more irritated by the second, "Do me a favour and just go."

"Abi, I am just trying to help," Kathy tried to reason. "I'm Ben's mum- I don't want to see him upset."

"Yeah and where were you for the last ten years of his life?" Abi asked, bitterly.

"This isn't about me Abi," Kathy defended herself. "This is about your relationship with my son."

Abi sighed frustratedly, "Alright, if you must know. Ben and I are never going to get back together! What he's been telling you is crap. I consider myself as a reasonable person, especially regarding living situations. The reason why myself and your darling son broke up is because he's gay."

With that, Abi slammed the door in her face. She turned around with her back to the door as she ran a hand through her blonde hair. She took a deep breath in order to compose herself before walking back into the kitchen.

"Sorry about that," Abi simply said as she took a seat opposite Rebecca.

"So you and my dad have something in common," Rebecca commented, with her eyebrow arched.

"I'm sorry?" Abi frowned with a confused expression.

"I just heard your little announcement just then," Rebecca stated with a small smile. "About Ben being gay."

"Oh right," Abi's eyes widened as she looked away with embarrassment.

"It's alright Abi," Rebecca reassured. "There's no need to be ashamed. I mean, I remember how dad felt when mum first got with Tina. It was a right kick in the teeth for him, he was really hurt."

"Yeah well that's what it's like for me to be honest," Abi stared into her tea sadly, "Especially after I've known him for nearly all of my childhood."

"Yeah well at least you didn't already have a ready-made family," Rebecca sighed sadly. "It also hurt me as well when I found out that mum had got with Tina. It still hadn't digested that my parents had split up full stop and was filing for divorce. When I found out that mum and dad slept together, I was so happy, I really thought they were going to get back together…then, they told me that they weren't. That hurt me even more. I was determined to ruin things for mum and Tina, so I told Tina about my parents' one night stand."

Abi smiled sadly, "I know what it feels like. Well, sort of," Abi let out a small chuckle. "The important thing is that whatever happens, they will always love and care about you. I know it's sad that they're happy with other people but you just have to accept it."

"Yeah I know," Rebecca agreed. "To be honest, I kinda have got use to the idea. Stacey and Tina aren't that bad and plus, I have a new baby brother on the way. I just feel like things are moving too fast sometimes."

Abi chuckled, "Believe me- I know what that's like. I've seen it all. Try a mysterious woman appearing on your doorstep claiming to be your dad's wife and then a couple of months down the line, she's pregnant."

Rebecca giggled before looking up at Abi. She smiled genuinely at her, "Personally, I don't think you should be worrying about your love life. I would love to be the age you are now! Nan told me how you did really well in your GCSE's and A Levels. If that were me, I wouldn't be sitting here and leading a boring life in Walford. I would be out there travelling the world."

"Would you really?" Abi gave her a small smile. This was the first time that they had properly spoken and she felt that they already had quite a good relationship.

"Yeah definitely," Rebecca beamed.

Abi smiled at the young teenager. She had a point. She was still young and should still be living her life to the full potential. She should be going out there and doing something with her life, instead of being hung up over Ben…and even Jay.

Music was vibrating silently throughout Jay's bedroom as he lay down on his bed chilling as he contemplated on the past year or so.

Ever since she walked out of that door, he couldn't stop thinking about her. He couldn't stop thinking about the night before in the Arches, how him and Abi made love and then were snuggled up together as they slept peacefully through the night. It felt like they were in their own little world, like nothing else mattered.

He never intended to sleep with Abi but he didn't regret it either. Yes, they both had a bit to drink but to him, it felt just like old times- before everything had fallen apart, back to the time when everything between them was perfect and not strained. Due to his and Abi's relationship being strained, it didn't help that he had a little bit of a soft spot for Lola Pearce. They weren't romantic feelings at the time; he just cared about her and worried about her, probably due to the fact that she had a lot of baggage such as a rough lifestyle like himself and having to bring up a little girl all by herself. Plus, she was always there. Abi was too busy focusing on getting into university and kept having petty arguments, which made him turn to Lola. She always gave him the time of day. That's what he felt like he needed. Someone who was always there for him and wouldn't just push him aside.

These thoughts made Jay realise that he was not thinking straight. Abi wasn't really pushing him aside, she was just busy building a great future for the both of them, as she said...but thinking about it, it was really for her. She was going that extra bit further to getting onto the right course with her chosen university which led her to her dream job, which was to be a vet. He realised that he would be living Abi's life and not their life. It wasn't a life they would be building together and he had finally realised this when Abi confronted him at Phil and Sharon's wedding, claiming that he was in love with Lola.

He was truthful when he reassured Abi that nothing had happened between him and Lola, but he did not deny that he liked her. He couldn't do that to Abi, not after everything they have been through together, the least he could do was be honest about his feelings for Lola. Jay was determined to put his feelings aside for Lola as he was certain that his future was with Abi, he had to do the right thing. He was willing to forget about the feelings he had for Lola and just move away to Bolton with Abi like they had planned. He was certain that they would have been really happy. He knew that they would have been and all those doubts would have gone.

But Ben telling Abi how he has feelings for Lola which caused Abi to confront him about this made him realise that he couldn't do this to himself, or to Abi. She deserved better. She was starting a new life and he couldn't tag along like a lost puppy. He belonged in Walford. They fell in love when they were practically kids and Jay realised that there were plenty of other girls out there, there wasn't just Abi Branning, maybe he would find himself with Lola but he didn't know that. All he knew was that he couldn't string Abi along if those feelings for Lola were real. He wouldn't deny it but it did kill him when he ended things with her. She was his childhood sweetheart, the girl he had a built future with and he was letting her go. He decided that it was the best for both of them. When those three heartbreaking words 'It's over Abi', he could feel his pupils burning up with hot tears. It wasn't easy to break up with Abi, after everything they had been through together, he had to be strong. Ever since then, Jay always thought that a clear black line was drawn under their relationship until now…

Jay ended up being in a relationship with Lola and he admitted to Billy that he was in love with her. Well, that's what he thought. When he received that disappointing phone call on his 21st birthday from Lola, he realised that she was definitely a no go. Girls like her, you never go back to. Jay thought Lola wouldn't do that to him after four years of friendship but she did. She forgot about his birthday and left him for his best friend Dexter. He was pretty upset that Lola had left him and was in shock, but he got over it soon enough. Over a bottle of beer at the bar with Ben, he contemplated on his relationship with Lola and realised that he wasn't in love with Lola. He loved her as a friend. He probably thought that he was in love with her due to the soft spot he had for her. He did like her in a romantic way but he didn't love her in a romantic way. It didn't take Jay long to get over his split from Lola.

As he lay on his bed contemplating on his break up with Lola, he began to compare his relationships with Lola and Abi. He soon got over his split from Lola, even after what she did to him but just knows that he would never get back into a relationship with her. If he ever saw again, the least they'll be is friends and that is where it will stay, nothing more, not again, he wasn't going to go down that route again. Then, he started to think about his relationship with Abi and if Abi did what Lola did, it would take him ages to get over it, he would even try to win her back because he loved her. He knew what he was like whenever he and Abi broke up, he was down for ages and he never got over it. Even when Abi left him for Costa Rica, he admitted that he missed Abi and how it was her that he wanted to be with no matter what they had went through.

Lola was considered as Jay's perfect match. She was fun and up for a laugh, just like Jay, even though she had a toddler in tow. She was still that daring character and they could just play off each other at times. Jay considered that him and Lola were too alike. They could be considered as a great duo, but only as friends, not in a romantic way, because amongst all that fun and madness, he needed someone to tame him. That was Abi.

Abi was always the one that tamed him, kept him under control. If it wasn't for Abi, god knows what Jay could get himself into! Whereas with Lola, god knows where he would be at! He would have probably ended up covering for her if they got into trouble because that's the sort of person he is, he had everyone's backs.

When him and Lola went on the run with Lexi due to him thinking that the police would be after him due to Lucy's phone and purse, they stayed at a B&B. Lola's way of comforting Jay was not to leave his side and end up sleeping with him. Sleeping with Lola was nice in a way but it didn't make him forget about what was going on back in Walford. When having sex with Lola, he found that Lola liked to be in control most of the time, which wasn't a problem but he liked to be in control at times too.

Jay realised that being in a relationship with Lola compared to Abi was very different, they were both very different people. Firstly Abi would have done everything under her power to stop Jay from running away, trying her best to reason with him. As a last resort, she would run away with him and no she wouldn't comfort him with some smooth words and then have sex with him like Lola did, Abi would give Jay space if he needed it, she would have spoken to him and reassured him that everything would be okay, no matter how long it would take. She would kiss him and cuddle him where necessary too. Sex would have been completely out of the question.

Jay contemplated on his sexual experiences with both girls and decided that sex with Abi was much better. Yes, they did it rough when it was the right time and sometimes Abi took control. Surprisingly, in the bedroom and when it was just themselves, they were quite a kinky couple when they wanted to be. Other than that, when him and Abi had sex, it was always classed as making love. It was always gentle and on occasion, it was rough. Jay liked it that way. He loved their relationship and how they were, and he would forever be kicking himself of how he let an incredible girl like Abi slip between his fingers.

Was it really worth it after what happened with Lola in the end? Was it Jay? His subconscious awoke as it lifted his head and pursued its lips.

Jay realised how stupid he was for leaving Abi. It was worth nothing in the end. It took him last night to realise how he truly felt about Abi, he let his heart get the better of him. Abi was heartbroken over Ben and his heart just told him to go after her, and he did. The night that they shared in the Arches was mesmerising and he would never forget it. Jay never really stopped loving Abi. He guessed that all that bickering with her was just him hiding his feelings and his heart blinding him from the fact that he was still in love with Abi and just convinced him that he liked Lola. He was confused before they broke up and was after they did. It was just a shame that it took the events of what happened the night before for Jay to realise that.

Jay jolted when there was a knock on the door and a familiar annoying squawk transferred through the wooden door.

"Jay," Ben spoke calmly.

"Go away," Jay snapped as he sat up on his bed.

"Jay please," Ben pleaded. "I want to talk to you, no more arguments, I promise."

Jay sighed loudly and frustratedly, "Fine!"

The bedroom door swung open and in came Ben, a fine long red scratch mark evident on his cheek in which Jay responded to by trying to hide his amusement.

"Look I'm sorry," Ben apologised. "I shouldn't have reacted the way I did towards you and Abi."

"Too right you shouldn't have!" Jay exclaimed, "I mean, what gave you the right to have a go at us after what you've done? I mean, you're the one that's worse; you're the one that has been sleeping with another man behind Abi's back for months. It's your own fault that you got caught red handed!"

"I know I was wrong," Ben replied. "I know I was wrong for what I did to Abi, I was stupid but I still love her!"

Jay chuckled spitefully, "Oh shut up do you love her? I'm not being funny Ben but you're just messed up mate. You claim you love Abi but you still go behind her back and sleep with Paul. I mean, who does that eh? To me it sounds like you think you love Abi in that way but you're gay and just want to hide it."

Ben shook his head, "It's just a phase, honest!" He said adamantly.

"Don't give me that!" Jay spat. "You're gay Ben, face it."

"I love Abi," Ben cried. "Please Jay, you've got to help me get her back! What do I say to my dad? He's going to go mad when he finds out that I've still been sleeping with Paul!"

Jay stood up on his two feet, "Should have thought about that my son before you went and slept with him. Just face it Ben, you're gay, Abi will never go back to you after what happened last night and personally I think she deserves better."

"What like you, you mean?" Ben asked, manipulatively.

"I didn't say that did I?" Jay said, in denial. "I just meant that she deserves someone proper, whose not going to hurt her, someone who will do her good."

"Oh come on Jay, please don't tell me that little fumble in the Arches was nothing," Ben spoke in a patronising tone. "What? Was that just your way of comfort? Your way of getting over Lola perhaps?"

Jay shook his head angrily, "Nah, I don't do that, never have, it's just not in my nature. Not meaning to drop Abi in it, but Abi was just as into it last night like I was into her. It wasn't just me." Jay smirked cockily.

"So you do still like her then?" Ben raised his eyebrow.

Jay shrugged, "So what if I do? There's nothing you can do about it and personally, I stand a better chance than you do now that she knows what you're like and what you did to her." Jay snarled as he walked out of his room and down the stairs, leaving Ben horrified. He had to get back with Abi- he does love her, no matter what anyone says.

"Look Abi will come back, don't worry," Phil reassured Ben as the two of them along with Jay, Sharon and Denny were gathered round the dinner table that evening having dinner. "She just needs time. You've had a row, she'll come back when she's ready and realise that she's made a big mistake. You know what women are like."

"Oh thanks," Sharon responded bluntly. Phil looked up at Sharon and looked away timidly as she glared at her husband.

"You know what I mean," Phil sighed, rubbing his forehead. "Look, you're both young, you're bound to have arguments. She will realise that this whole thing was stupid and will come back. Trust me, she will probably just need a bit of convincing. I mean, look at me and Sharon!"

"Yeah, we're a great example," Sharon stated, sarcastically. "Especially as you keep secrets from me and do everything in your power to hide them from me."

"Yeah but we get over that in the end don't we," Phil argued.

"You might," Sharon considered. "But I don't forget, it just adds to my list of 'Things that my husband does wrong'."

Just at that moment, the back door swung open, letting the cold air come flooding in as Abi strided in wearing her pink coat, which Jay remembered clearly as she wore that exact coat on their very first date.

"Sorry," Abi apologised. "I didn't mean to walk in like that. I didn't know you were having dinner."

"See what I mean," Phil muttered.

"That's alright Abi," Sharon smiled politely as she walked over to the young woman. "Is there anything we can help you with?"

"Erm yeah there is actually," Abi answered, awkwardly.

"Look sweetheart, we know that you and Ben had a row," Sharon butted in. "All couples have rows- it just shows they care about each other that's all. You must know that. I know your parents haven't exactly set a very good example for you, Lauren and Oscar but couples do overcome arguments. This surely can't be over between you and Ben. I'm sure there's a way you can sort things out, it doesn't have to be like this."

"It does," Abi pointed out. She looked over at Phil and Ben. Ben's gaze towards her just made her stomach feel sickened. "Look, thank you Mr Mitchell, Mrs Mitchell for accommodating me but I can't stay here anymore." She turned back to Sharon, "Could you please get me my passport?"

"Course," Sharon answered with a confused expression. With that, she walked into the living room.

"Look Abi, if it's living here that's the problem," Phil stood up, speaking in his husky voice. "Then we can sort it. We can lend you and Ben some money to put down a deposit for a place of your own."

"It's not that Mr Mitchell," Abi spoke persistently. "I can't be here anymore, I can't be with your son and I'm sorry! Please try to understand."

"It's alright Abs," Jay reassured, putting a hand out towards her in a stop sign.

Abi glanced down at Jay in which he responded by giving her a timid smile.

"No I don't understand," Phil said stubbornly as he walked over to face Abi. "Look, this is just some stupid argument. You and Ben have had arguments, you always do- we've heard ya for goodness sake! I can't see why this argument is any different!"

"Alright Phil, that's enough," Sharon spoke sternly as she handed Abi her passport. "Here you are darling."

"Thank you Mrs Mitchell," Abi gave a petite smile as she took the passport from Sharon. She turned back to Phil. "For your information Mr Mitchell, this wasn't just any old argument. It just proved that Ben and I both want different things."

After saying that, she took a quick glance at Jay. Jay felt his heart start to flutter as this gave him hope. Maybe Abi wants him just as much as he wants her, maybe she never really stopped loving him either.

"I don't think that's the case," Phil tried to reason as he grew impatient. "Ben wants to find a place with you just as much as you do. I can help you two out. Within the next month, you could have your own place."

"You don't have a month I'm afraid," Abi stated.

"What do you mean?" Phil raised his eyebrow. "You planning on going somewhere?" He enquired, his eyes slightly indicating the passport that was in the clutches of her small and petite hands.

"I am actually," Abi stated, bravely with her head held high. "I'm going to stay with Lauren and Peter in New Zealand. I'm not sure when I'll be back."

"What?" Ben said, his jaw dropping at the thought of Abi leaving the country. "You can't!"

"Oh I think you'll find that I can," Abi spat. "It's not that I should explain myself to you anyway."

"Abs…" Ben started as he slowly began to rise from his chair.

"No Ben," Abi snapped angrily, putting her hand out in a stop sign. "You and I are over. Nothing will change that so don't bother trying anything. I'm going to New Zealand and nothing is going to stop me." She let out an exasperated sigh. "Look I'll see you guys around."

With that, Abi dashed out of the Mitchell house quicker than lightning, leaving the Mitchells to gather up their thoughts.