Chapter 6, The Beets Bus
As Doug stood there on the top step that lead on to the bus, he started to imagine what Smash Adams, Secret Agent might do in his position. In Doug's imagination, Smash is seen putting a bunch of wounded creatures into a large black suitcase down on the side of the road, then dragging it behind him, he steps on to the bus, that looks identical to the Beets Bus that Doug was trying to get on in reality. The driver even looked the same. No sooner did Smash reach the top step of the bus, when the driver stopped him.
"Excuse me Mr. Adams, but I believe we need to stoe away that suitcase under neath the bus." The bus driver said.
Smash Adams gave the bus driver an angry glare before clearing his throat, keeping his composure, as he gripped tighter to the handle of the suitcase.
"I'm sorry sir, but this suitcase must remain with me at all times." Smash Adams replied.
"Well, perhaps this ought to change your mind." The bus driver said in an evil tone of voice, sticking his foot out, ready to kick Smash Adams in the stomach.
Dodging the kick, Smash jumped out of the way into the isle of the bus, only to let go of the suitcase in the process. The suitcase topples down the steps into a street of oncoming busy traffic. Just then, a large truck rolls on top of the suitcase, just as Doug's imaginary thought faded away, returning him to reality.
We didn't have any sort of giant suitcase to try to sneak the babies into, so Skeeter and I had to come up with a diversion to distract the bus driver long enough to sneak our charges we were looking after on to the bus.
"I've got it!" Doug said, pulling his ticket for the Beets concert out of his pocket.
"You're gonna give the driver your ticket? Cool! Though he probably already has a ticket, remember Doug, this bus is our way to the concert." Skeeter said.
"No." Doug replied, turning his attention back to the driver.
"Uh, sir, do you like magic tricks?" Doug asked.
"Listen, kid, we don't have time for this. As it is we're already two minutes late leaving, and we do need to keep on a tight schedule." The bus driver said.
Doug glanced over at the dashboard again to see it was now five-thirty-two.
"It will only take a minute. I give you, the disappearo trick. And, vencity vichi!" Doug chanted, doing his famous magic trick, using his concert ticket to do the trick since he didn't have a deck of playing cards on him.
The bus driver rolled his eyes, starting to get annoyed, but Doug wouldn't stop, as he glanced through the rear view mirror every so often to see how Skeeter was doing at sneaking the little kids on to the bus. He continued his trick until he saw nobody behind him outside of the bus, as he and Skeeter along with the Rugrats were the last to get on, putting them all in the way back.
After performing the trick another ten times, the bus driver nearly snatched the concert ticket out of Doug's hand, almost ripping it in half.
"Look, either give me your bus path and go find a seat, or get off the bus, we can't stall anymore time." The bus driver said, pointing to the clock on the dashboard which now read five-forty.
"Okay okay, here." Doug said, stashing his concert ticket back into the pocket of his Beets jacket and handing the bus driver his bus ticket.
The bus driver tore the ticket in half giving Doug half of it back, which was the ticket he'd use to return after the concert. Once this was taken care of, Doug walked quickly to the back of the bus, where he found Skeeter, along with Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, Lil, Kimi, Dil, and Angelica all sitting in the way back seat, which stretched across the isle of the bus. Doug scooted in by the window next to Angelica, and no sooner was he seated, when the bus took off for Bloatsberg.
Well, we finally made it on to the bus, and were finally on our way. I just hoped we wouldn't get left behind at the diner this time, or leave our tickets behind. I already ensured my ticket wouldn't get lost, by stashing it away in the pocket of my jacket. Now all I needed to do was to make sure I didn't leave my jacket anywhere, and I'd be okay. Of course, I was babysitting, which I was constantly reminded of it on the first leg of our bus journey. If it wasn't for Angelica kicking my leg, it was either Chuckie or Dil throwing up all over the back seat or Skeeter, as a result of motion sickness, Phil and Lil pulling worms to eat out of their diapers, leaving mud on the seats, which nearly made me throw up a few times, or Tommy and Kimi giggling at the conversation going on between two passengers in the seats in front of us, as they kept telling jokes. I constantly had to hush them, as I didn't want us to get caught.
"Quiet, you want everybody to hear?" Doug hissed in a low enough whisper for the Rugrats to hear over the loud noise of the bus.
At a point on the trip, Skeeter was buried in his Beets book again, while Angelica continued to kick Doug.
"Angelica, please stop kicking my leg, it hurts!" Doug demanded.
Angelica turned her gaze up to his face with an evil smile.
"Oh, sorry Doug Fancy Bunny." Angelica said teasingly.
"My name is Doug Yancy Funnie, and please, don't call me by my middle name, I don't particularly like it." Doug said between gritted teeth, as he was really starting to become annoyed with Angelica.
He crossed his arms and turned his gaze out the window, wondering how much longer they had until getting to the truck stop, where the toddlers could at least stretch their legs and everybody could grab a quick bite to eat at the diner before they had to get back on the bus ten minutes later, and head the rest of the way to the concert. He didn't even want to start singing along with the other people towards the front of the bus, who were singing every Beets song in the book, as they had released two more albums since their last concert in Bloatsberg, and their first Christmas album, Have Yourself a Very Merry Beetsmas, would be coming out next month. It was at the top of Doug's Christmas list for sure, and he was hoping he'd get it.
It also didn't help that Angelica tried to sing along with everybody, not only mixing up the words, but her singing voice sounded like nails on a chalkboard. At this point, both, Doug and Skeeter, along with the other toddlers, were all covering their ears.
"I surely hope Angelica don't sing at the concert Tommy." Chuckie commented.
"Me neither, she's no Susie Carmichael, that's for sure." Phil added.
"I wonder how the kids' families are making out with getting their car troubles fixed in Bloatsberg?" Doug thought to himself, as he stared out the window at the miles of endless fields of grass and trees the Beets Bus was passing along the side of the highway.
In Bloatsberg, at a mechanic's shop, Drew, Charlotte, Stu, Didi, Chas, Kira, Howard, Betty, and Taffy all sat around in a waiting room, while mechanics were fixing their RV, installing a whole new engine into the unit. The bulk of the adults had found magazines on the tables in the waiting area to read, while Didi was looking at one of her Lipschitz books, , Taffy was writing down song lyrics on a notepad, and Charlotte was looking over some documents for work.
"Are we ever gonna get out of here?" Charlotte asked impatiently, looking up from her work files every now and then to address the rest of the group.
"Relax Char, we'll get out of here as soon as we can, and then, we'll go to where that band, the Beets is playing, and collect the kids." Drew said.
Taffy looked up from her notepad to address the group.
"You know, being a musician, I've never told any of you guys this, but I love the Beets, and I've always wanted to go to one of their concerts, but I've never had enough money to go." Taffy said, letting out a sigh of disappointment.
Didi looked up from her Lipschitz book, turned her attention to Taffy and smiled.
"Why not make this concert your first one? I mean, we have to pick up the kids there anyway, I just hope they don't sing anything, inappropriate." Didi said, putting a finger up to her lips, a look of concern spreading across her face.
"Oh don't worry Didi, the minis probably won't really understand half of the things they sing about, but they'll enjoy dancing to the music if nothing else." Taffy said with a smile.
"But how are we gonna get tickets?" Howard asked.
"Oh I'm sure we can get tickets at the door, provided we get out of here before the concert starts." Taffy replied, just as everybody overheard a door slam shut in the back of the mechanic shop.
Footsteps were heard, and a tall, muscular man wearing a white t-shirt and blue jeans with a brown mohock on his head and smelling of Gasolene approached the large crowd gathered in the waiting area.
"I'm looking for a Mr. Stu Pickles." The mechanic said.
"That would be me." Stu replied, rising from his seat and approaching the mechanic.
"Uh, thank you. Well, we've replaced the engine in your RV, along with some other wires and connectors that were in bad need of repair. You're good to go, but I should ask, what is your destination after getting back on the road?" The mechanic asked.
"Well, once we get on to the right highway, we're heading to Yucaipa, California sir." Stu replied.
The mechanic reached up to a stack of folded up maps sitting on the edge of the receptionist's desk, and unfolded a road map of the United States. Looking at the map, he saw that Bloatsberg, Virginia, and Yucaipa, California, were at opposite ends of the country.
"Oh boy, looks like you have yourselves a very long drive ahead of you, give or take, a week's worth of driving." The mechanic said.
"I don't know about that, we managed to drive to Florida from California in two days." Stu said.
"Only because we started driving at two in the morning, and you wouldn't stop for anything, except for two gas stops on the way." Drew said sarcastically.
The mechanic shook his head.
"Mr. Pickles, sir, with how warn out your vehicle is, I recommend that you give it a rest at least once a day on your journey back to California, as too much straight driving like that is not good for the vehicle." The mechanic recommended.
"Oh that's nothing. We drove overnight from California to Los Vegas, Nevada last year as well." Drew added.
"You mean when we went to Circus Gigantica and our kids appeared on the Hymlick and Bob Show?" Betty asked.
"That's the trip I'm talking about Betty." Drew said, starting to raise his voice, as he, too, was growing impatient.
"Now now, Navada isn't as long of a drive from California as Florida or Virginia is. You should really take this into consideration on your trip home, so you don't end up having another mechanical problem on the way back, as I honestly don't know if your RV can be fixed a second time. We were just lucky to have the right type of engine replacement for the job." The mechanic said.
"Thank you sir, we'll keep this in mind." Stu said, glancing at his watch which read six-forty-five.
"So, how will you be paying for this?" The mechanic said.
"Do you take plastics here?" Stu asked, pulling out his Discover card.
"Sure do sir." The mechanic said, as Stu approached the receptionist and paid for the repairs with his credit card.
Soon afterwards, once the bill was paid, everybody piled into the repaired RV, but not before Stu asked the mechanic one final question.
"Uh, excuse me sir, but we're trying to get to the huge Beets concert that's happening locally. By chance, could you provide us with some directions?" Stu asked.
"Sure can." The mechanic replied, handing Stu a sheet of paper with written directions to get from the auto mechanic shop to the Crome Dome Theater, where the concert was taking place.
"Thank you very much." Stu said, piling into the RV, with his wife, brother, sister-in-law, Taffy, and his friends, Betty, Howard, Chas, and Kira all piling in and taking their seats.
"No problem Mr. Pickles, have a safe trip home." The mechanic said, waving goodbye, as Stu closed his door, started up the RV, and drove away from the mechanic's shop in the direction of the Crome Dome Theater.
When they arrived, they saw the parking lot was packed, and they knew the RV might not fit in a regular parking place, so Stu drove around for a few minutes, looking for a place where he could safely park his vehicle. Then, he noticed an abandoned warehouse nearby, with a deserted parking lot. He took one of the places, thankful there were plenty of street lights to help guide them back to the theater, since the sun had long since gone down, and everybody piled out of the RV and started walking back towards the location of the concert. When they arrived, they got into the long line waiting to buy tickets on sight, hoping they wouldn't sell out before it got to be their turn.
Meanwhile, back on the highway, the Beets Bus had been driving for over an hour, as it was now getting close to seven at night, and Bloatsberg was two hours away from Bluffington. The trip was typically divided up by a ten minute rest stop for people to grab a quick bite to eat, stretch their legs, go to the bathroom, etc. It also allowed the driver to refuel the bus if he needed to, with there being such a long drive to and from this concert.
By the time we reached the rest stop, I had been kicked so many times in the leg by Angelica, I'd probably have a bruise on my leg for life. Luckily though, we finally made it there. I just hoped at this point, nothing would go wrong.
Sure enough, the bus rounded a corner and pulled into the all too familiar truck spot that Doug and Skeetered encountered the last time when taking this trip.
"Just as a reminder, this is a ten minute break people, we'll be leaving in ten minutes, with or without you. So please, make your time here brief." The bus driver announced through his microphone at the front of the bus so everybody could hear him.
Doug turned and saw that not only were Skeeter, Dil and Chuckie all covered in spit up from throwing up on the bus earlier where Chuckie and Dil were concerned, but Chuckie was holding his hands in his crotch, like he really needed to use the bathroom. Doug wasn't so sure about taking all of these kids into the diner, but he and Skeeter had no choice. Everybody got up, walked off the bus, and headed into the diner, thankful the driver didn't notice they had snuck kids under the age of five on to the bus, even though Phil and Lil managed to leave mud stains on the back seat of the bus, and Doug could swear he felt a worm crawl beneath his butt at one point while the bus was in motion. As soon as he moved, Phil noticed the worm that had gotten trapped beneath Doug, snatched it up, and slurped it down like it were a spaghetti noodle, just as Skeeter grabbed his hand and helped Doug get the toddlers off of the bus.
A few minutes later, they were inside the rest stop, which had changed since the previous year. It was now more of a food court style place with an arcade and bathrooms, along with several places for one to get bites to eat, including a Zappy Burger. They headed in the direction of the Zappy Burger, figuring there'd be something there for the kids to eat, and Doug, Angelica, Tommy and Kimi found a table, while Skeeter took the rest of the gang back to the bathroom to get everybody cleaned up, and to give Chuckie a chance to go potty.
"Come on Chuckie, are you sure you don't need to go potty?" Skeeter asked the redhead two-year-old toddler on the way back to the bathroom.
"No." Chuckie replied, because it was the only word he could speak at this time that either Doug or Skeeter could understand.
However, by the way he was holding his crotch, it was obvious that he had to go, that is, if he hadn't gone already.
And this, ends chapter 6. What else will happen at the rest stop? And will they make it back to the bus before the ten minutes are up? Find out, in the next chapter, which I'll get released either later on today or for sure, sometime tomorrow, depending on how the rest of my day goes, etc.
Author's Note: Notice something familiar at the beginning of the chapter? I told you back at the end of chapter 1 that the flashback we saw there would be reappearing later on in the story as the events unfolded in real time, and sure enough, it happened in this chapter! Also, I made another reference to, 'Doug's Hot Ticket,' as well as a reference to the season 4 Rugrats episode, 'Vacation,' from the adults' point of view where that trip was concerned. And seeing that this story takes place after the events of 'Rugrats in Paris,' I figured it should only be natural, that I have Chuckie speak to Doug and Skeeter at least once during this story, and being asked if he needed to go potty, when by his body language, it was obvious, would be the perfect opportunity to do that. Also, the part where Angelica gets Doug's name wrong was an idea given to me by Boris Yeltsin a while back, and I thought since his middle name and last name were mentioned by Judie in chapter 4, I thought it might be funny for Angelica to screw both of those up, not only irritating Doug because she's been a brat this entire time, but she keeps bringing up his middle and last name, and we learn in the Doug episode, I believe it's either in 'Doug's Career Anxiety,' or 'Doug's New Teacher,' I know he was meeting with the guidance counselor when this came up, but Doug admits that he hates his middle name, and I'm sure he'd hate it even more if a child he was babysitting for, was constantly getting it wrong and making fun of his name on top of it. Anyway, hope you all enjoyed this chapter, and seeing that we're over halfway through this story, as I plan to for sure, have no more than 10 chapters to this story, if not fewer than 10 chapters, well, you can expect to find more chapters, posted very soon, so please, do stay tuned!