You're standing there, the entrance a foot above your head,
Standing there, in this pit you've dug.
The sun is low, but still burns your eyes.
You've done it, you're six feet down.
"He's a demon, I swear!"
"Look at that face!"
"Where did he go wrong..."
"He'll be nothing but trouble."
I felt tears fall from my eyes as I pinched the bruise that had already formed on my ankle. I tried to find some relief from the words that cut into my mind, but nothing seemed to work...
I really was a demon.
"We have no need for a delivery boy who doesn't come back!"
"But there were these boys picking on-"
"I don't care. Don't come back here."
Why wasn't I needed?
"Is he drunk?"
"Ha, fucking loser."
My fist connected with his face, with the accuracy of someone stone cold sober. "You wanna try me?!" I shouted drunkenly, my fists clenched at my sides.
The boy in front of me spit out blood, letting me have the satisfaction of knowing I'd split his cheek. "Bring it on, you fuckin' demon!"
Why couldn't I control myself?
I had a bad feeling about this building. The sign above the door hang haphazardly from the stone, it's words faded with time and the weather. Broken glass littered the ground below the shattered 2nd and 3rd floor windows. A strange aura surrounded the place, warning me to leave, but I knew it was just the demons that inhabited the building. I took a breath and grinned.
"Well? What are we waiting for? Let's go!"
Why didn't I listen to my instincts?
"Would you like to hear a story?"
A weird compulsion to listen. This was just a ghost, right? Her pitch black eyes were unnerving, sure, but she wasn't a demon, she probably had some advice on where to find the demons.
Why didn't I kill her?
"Okumura..."
Flames swirled around me. My sword felt cool in my hand. My vision kept switching between sharp and blurry, but I knew who was standing in front of me.
Bon.
I growled and moved forward, my tail swishing angrily behind me like a feral cat.
'Why am I doing this?' I wondered vaguely.
'Because he's hurt you. All of them. Kill them all.' A woman's voice cooed. Someone brushed their fingers comfortingly through my hair, and I ran away, following Bon's scent.
'She's right.'
Why didn't I break free?
"Screw that! He's different, and you know that! It's a whole different scenario seeing as he's the son of Satan! He could kill someone in a second if they weren't expecting it!"
She wasn't the one who was right...
Bon was.
I was just a demon.
Why couldn't I do anything right?
"Ow! Watch it, asshole!"
A boy, maybe a year older. His hair was dyed a dirty blonde, but his black hair showed at the roots. His coal gray eyes glared down at me. Anger began to flicker in my chest. I returned the glare, feeling my fists clench.
The boy laughed mirthlessly and widened his stance. "Don't glare at me, kid, you don't know what you're gettin' into!"
I grit my teeth and straightened up. "Shut up, punk..." I growled.
Why did I have to look for trouble?
"You want something to drink?"
Was it that easy to tell?
Why did I have to be so weak.
"If you need anything... drinks, drugs... come here. I know the feeling of needing them. You're welcome to come here for 'em."
I was too close to accepting it.
Why did I have to fall so easily?
"Funny how hard it is to get out, but how quickly you fall, isn't it?"
Why did Rouga have to be so right?
Dizziness, drowsiness.
Sleep.
Medicated.
How did I let myself get to this point?
Why did I like it?
"Sure."
So weak.
What are you waiting for? You've already fucked up your life, what else is there to fuck up?
Oh, I had no idea.
He was just a kid.
And I was only a demon.
Monster.
Demon.
Awful.
Worthless.
He was going to kill himself.
You didn't help.
You monster.
.
.
you monster.
"I need a drink..."
No...
"Sorry, Yukio."
I flung the bottle at the door of the roof, and it burst, scattering glass through the orange light of the sunset. I watched as it all fell to the ground. It reminded me of the shattered glass below the insane-asylum... where all this shit started.
Maniacal laughter bubbled up behind my lips. Well, if it hadn't, it wouldn't have led to me doing this.
I couldn't have saved them.
Had I been in a better state of mind, I would have felt grateful to that demon... Lady Midday, or whatever the fuck her name was.
I plucked at my sweater. I didn't feel the need to dress nicely for this. This wasn't something to look good for. I was about to leap off a fucking building, being in a suit wouldn't make me look any less dead.
I scoffed and lifted my hands. I raked my fingers through my hair, pulling at the tangles that had formed.
I didn't leave a note. It wouldn't make any difference, whether I did or not. I'd be dead either way. Although, now that I thought of it, I should have at least left them something telling them I was sorry.
Oh well, too late.
I turned and faced the edge of the building and walked forwards. I looked out over the edge and exhaled slowly. I wasn't on the roof of the abandoned boy's dorm, I was back where Rouga lived. It was a quiet street, and seeing as it wasn't a part of the town that was doing too well, there weren't many people. Rouga's building stood next to the one I stood at the top of.
I wrenched my eyes away from the building's door and looked straight down. The pavement loomed closer, it seemed, and I staggered a little. I took a deep breath. It was now or never.
'You have the chance to save them, you should take it...'
I took another step, so half of my foot was off of the building, hanging in midair.
'One more step...'
RING
I stopped in my tracks.
Was that my phone?
RING
I frowned. I forgot to turn it off?
I stepped back with an exasperated sigh and dug it out of my pocket. It was probably Yukio, or Shura, trying to lecture-
...Shima?
Why the hell would...
I huffed, about to tuck it back into my pocket, but I stopped.
I didn't leave a note... this was my chance to tell them...
Tell them that I was sorry.
I hesitantly flipped open the phone and held it to my ear.
"'Lo?" I rasped.
"Okumura-kun! Wow, you're not sleeping?" Shima laughed. I could hear someone scoff in the background.
"'m I on speaker?" I slurred, not bothering to hide the fact that I was drunk.
"Yes, you moron. You sound like shit, what's up?" That was Bon, I knew that voice.
"... Nothing." I lied, sighing.
"That doesn't sound like nothing, Okumura-kun." Konekomaru piped up.
"...hm..." I murmured. "Why are you calling?" I asked, a little curious.
"Because you've been weird for months, and then you suddenly start acting like normal! Something's up, and we're your friends, so what's up?" Shima said.
I paused.
"What's... what's wrong with acting normal? Isn't that a good thing?" I wondered aloud.
"Not when you've been off for months." Shima continued.
"We care about you, dolt! Don't make me repeat it!" Bon growled. Shima 'awed', following by a kicking sound and a clattering that suggested the phone had been dropped. After a second, it was picked up again. "Now tell us what's wrong!" Bon went on.
What's...
Wrong...?
I felt something tighten in my chest.
Was he...
"You tellin' the truth?" I swallowed.
"Of course, moron."
My eyes widened.
He sounded...
I scrambled back from the edge of the building. I drew a shuddering breath and tears began to well in my eyes. "S-Suguro..." I stammered, I looked out over the sea of buildings.
"Oi, Okumura, what is it?"
"I need..." I muttered quietly. Did he really- was I about to-
"What the hell are you saying? Stop mumbling, for Christ's sake!"
I covered my mouth with my hand, muffling a sob. Tears hit my cheeks, making my cheeks cool in the breeze.
"Okumura, what's-"
"I need help..."
Surprise... I lied. Double update today, I just wanted to watch you guys flail for a little while... sorry. :P
So many line breaks...
lol.
Plot twists.
Everywhere.
Lol
I'm laughing a lot.
Anyways, I wanted to take a little bit of a different direction from the usual "found out" scenario. I know from experience that doesn't always happen. I had to tell someone. A lot of this story is drawing upon my own experience, at least the emotional stuff. (And minus the whole 'son-of-Satan' thing... hehe)
Anyways, here we are.