Two masks stared at one another. In Kylo Ren's darkly lit personal chambers, he faced all that remained of his ancestor Darth Vader.
She can see so much, she's gifted where I am not, she may show me what you can't... Perhaps… His thoughts trailed off. He often wondered why he was burdened with such doubts, why the call to the light had persisted, though he had proved himself repeatedly. Sorrow and guilt crept into his heart as the faces of his childhood friends passed through his mind.
"Ben?…Ben!" he remembered the terrified voice of a young girl screaming his name. He closed his eyes, his brows knit as the image of fallen bodies in the rain. He remembered his own trepidation, the burning rage that had allowed him to overcome it. Ren stood, shaking off the memory and turned on heel sweeping out of the room towards the Oracle.
The Oracle was waiting for him, as this had become an agreed upon training rather than the randomly violent visits that generally proceeded or preceded some military crisis. She sat, centered, in the softly lit room as the doors slid open. He shifted uncomfortably and stepped inside the doors, they closed behind him.
"Been having a rough morning Commander?" She asked raising her gaze to meet his, almost immediately regretting the rudeness of her question. She caught flashes of heavy rain, violent slashes of red and screams, she felt him grow tense as he felt the invasion into his mind. He said nothing but walked to the center of the room and sat several feet in front of her, his back to the door. She felt him probing her mind, likely seeking to know whatever fear or feeling she had, certainly to use it against her. "It must be frustrating not being able to decipher a mind in such proximity to yours." She taunted, reaching for her hood and pulling it back down over her head, revealing her full face to him. He watched as she simultaneously masked her thoughts and revealed her face, those distinctive grey eyes set on his mask, almost willing it off. He reached up and obliged, setting it in front of him.
She watched the mask until his hands returned to rest on his knees, her gaze returning to his. It had been so long since she had seen the face of the Jedi Killer. His human features momentarily softened her resistance. His deep brown eyes, the dark unruly locks he had pushed back off of his face, his full lips. She settled on each feature, visions of happier versions of the man before her flickered through her consciousness. A wholehearted smile, crinkled eyes and a child's laughter, the contented sigh and embrace of a mother and child.
"That's enough" he said sharply, his unfiltered voice reaching her ears for the first time in years. She refocused her gaze, her face and mind betraying nothing of the melancholy she had taken on in these glimpses of the young Ben Solo.
"Commander, you asked for my help. You chose me because I would have known your struggle regardless of whether you cared to share it. You knew…" She trailed off.
He finished for her, his voice low and tenuous "I knew that your unrestrained use of your sight abilities and your unrestrained commentary concerning your invasions would be of some use to my training." He said his gaze steady "To quiet my mind."
"I trust the dialogue was getting a bit stiff with the alternate council you've been toting around?" She asked mildly. His eyes narrowed at her reference to the token of his grandfather he kept displayed in his quarters. "He is only a part of you, and you know so little about him. Don't you wonder why you find yourself pulled away from time to time? You're not the only one who has ever had doubts Kylo Ren."
"How dare she." Despite his outrage he felt a familiar doubt creep into his consciousness. He noted the subtly leading tone in her voice and turned his focus to her once more, her stare invasive and curious. "My devotion is unwavering, I am the most fervent follower of the great leader, I- " his tone became more firm with each declaration
"And yet you are burdened" Her voice rose above his. He held her gaze, a beat of silence fell between them and she took the opening to continue. "It keeps you tethered to separate places, separate…" she trailed off searching for the right word, careful to, in this revelation, keep from offending the conflicted man who sat before her "…motivations" she settled on the relatively mild word.
His gaze drifted from hers for a brief moment. She looked into his mind, carefully, gently, like peeking through a sheer curtain. She caught glimpses, like flashes of sunlight striking harshly in her eyes.
"Excellent work" a deep ominous voice commended, A dark haired woman and a rugged man screamed indistinguishable insults at one another, a gentle hand ruffled a mess of dark hair as mechanical fingers grasped the shoulder of a small boy, the final thin shuddering breath of young child fingers gripping into the mud.
The visions were lightning and slow swirling clouds all at once. When her focused gaze returned to Kylo Ren, he appeared slightly worn by the invasion, his fingers digging into his palms, the faintest sheen on his brow. He still looked into her eyes but there was more questioning than anger, some resignation that she had never felt from him before. For the briefest moment she felt a soft fluttering as his mind reached out to hers, less probing, as if offering a hand, seeking connection, revealing curiosity. The walls she had put up in her mind did not falter for his tentative gesture.
"I think you can find-" She wanted to say balance, but he was seeking undistracted devotion to the dark side, she settled on another word "clarity." She said, offering a marginally more gentle tone. "You will have to open that resistant mind of yours. This will not be enjoyable." She changed the pace, speaking plainly once more.
"That makes this easy; I already do not enjoy you." He quipped reproachfully. She paused, barely suppressing an upward twitch at the corners of her lips. He noted her reaction, not displeased with the small crack in her façade he was able to inflict. Eliciting the uncommon reaction from the young woman brought him a tiny petulant joy.
"I should hope not." She offered in return a brief dimpled smirk making an appearance. She waited a moment noting a hit of levity in his gaze before forcing the conversation back to the matter.
"You will need to offer more of yourself." She noted solemnly "I will not exhaust myself by spending my days dragging your struggles from your closed mind, and I fear it would cause irreparable damage to that delicate psyche of yours." He glared back at her but offered a small sound of agreement.
"Oracle" the low modulated voice of a masked knight issued from a speaker by the door. "Commander Ren's presence is requested by the Supreme Leader".
Kylo Ren stood swiftly glancing back at the door. The Oracle reached out her hands wrapping around either side of the mask that still sat on the floor. She rose and walked around him, standing between him and the door. He stilled at the sight of the mask in her hands, his deep brown eyes widening for a single breath, the object felt suddenly far too intimate to be in the hands of another. His gazed turned dark once more as he removed the object from her grasp and pressed it into place.
"Additional sessions will need to be more productive, Oracle." He managed flatly.
"Yes they will, Commander" She replied darkly, turning from him to return to her personal quarters, not waiting for him to leave. He watched her go her robe sweeping behind her with the gentle sway of her walk as she disappeared through the narrow door. He caught a glimpse of the room and the view out into the darkness beyond before the door closed swiftly behind her. He pressed his lips together for a moment before turning to the now opening doors behind him.