AN: to be edited maybe lengthened - apologies! I'm in the middle of moving and some training trips. Love!
_
He woke in the darkness, his mind was practically humming, insisting on action, on movement and thought – he had to get up. He had never really been one to sleep through the night. He remembered waking to the sounds of his parents arguing, or laughing depending on the day, or simply waking to wander the house in the dark, relishing the stillness and deeply dark quiet of the halls. He found that in the night Neera had gravitated closer to him, her body curled next to his, her forehead resting against his shoulder as he slept on his back beside her. In the still darkness he watched her for a moment, her dark lashes curled against her cheeks, her warm skin pressed against his. He sat up slowly as not to wake her. Reaching out, his fingers brushed her cheek as he looked into her mind as gently as he could. Her thoughts were quiet as she slept soundly, but a few images flickered in and out. Enormous mossy trees - - Beams of green sunlight - - the laugher of a young woman - - strong slender arms gripped around a young girl - - the smell of ash. He sighed at the now familiar memory, pulling away as the images edged on the dark turn in the story. He brushed her hair back in a gesture that felt both unfamiliar and automatic, taking one last moment at her side before quietly dressing in the dark and leaving his sleeping companion.
She woke to silence and a cool depression in the blankets keeping her company on the other side of the bed. The room was dark, her body suddenly fully awake as she pushed herself up, looking around. A few moments of confusion passed slowly before she could feel his presence like a wave of warmth seeping into her skin. She touched a switch and a few dim lights slowly lit as she pulled on her training tunic and, in her bare feet, slipped down the hall towards the training room. Thal and Roux were absent from their usual posts, but they probably expected she'd be asleep. She felt a bit bold, venturing unescorted down the hall in bare feet, her shoulders chilled by the cold air of space. She heard a dull hum as she reached the training room, as the door opened the hum heightened to a sharp crackling buzz that quickly silenced, the red blade disappearing into the hand of the figure inside the dim room. The blasters had already wound down from their training cycle. He turned, silently acknowledging her presence, waiting for her to approach. The weight of his admission, the change in their dynamic, slowly settled in with each step she took. It hadn't been a sudden breaking of a dam, getting close to him was like a flooding canal, full of locks that held fast against the walls of water until the force became too great and they had to be released. The tension would build then they would take one giant leap forward only to hit another wall. She felt another wall when she looked at him now, there was still so much more… her thoughts trailed off as he faced her fully, her feet automatically bringing her closer to him. He still seemed a somewhat evasive as she reached him.
He had been practicing for hours, meditating, battling the droids, all in an effort to focus on ways to restore their ranks, to keep Neera close to him, to get back to his mission. He watched her carefully for a moment before loosening the grip on the metal hilted lightsaber in his hand, returning it to his side. He could feel her curious and probing gaze on him – she wasn't exploring his mind, she just seemed to know something. She knew him, she knew more about the real Kylo Ren than probably anyone else, he knew she could sense his unease so he decided to tell her – before she jumped to conclusions, before she saw further into his mind.
"You'll be attending the military counsel today." He said, the words flowing as if he had simply been noting the color of her tunic. She refrained from outwardly balking at the statement, controlling her expression as best she could.
"I can be useful there." She replied, applying logic to the new assignment that had seemingly come from nowhere. "I'm not often in attendance at meetings." She noted diplomatically, her gaze drifting downward as she barely hid the sarcastic undercurrent to the observation.
"Yes." He said, dismissing the small jab "and you will accompany the Knights of Ren on missions." She looked back up at him, catching a tiny glimpse, more like a feeling – selfishness – it wasn't simply convenience or necessity that was causing him to release her from her isolation. He wanted her there. She was going with him, the small freedoms she had been granted were being expanded. The unbridled hope and fear at being allowed to emerge from her sequestered position was exhilarating.
"You're taking me with you." She said, not able to keep the smile off her lips, an inappropriately childish excitement in her tone drew a slight frown from the serious looking young man before her. Neera heard the overly eager tone in her own voice and immediately gauged her reaction, scaling back as best she could. She had clear and present reservations about becoming so deeply and openly involved in the First Order but she was gaining so much more in the process that she forced herself to overlook it.
Kylo paused, watching her react so pleasantly to the order. He had hoped she might react this way, he had hoped her human need for interaction and freedom would override any suspicion she might have. He wanted her to want to help. She was completely invaluable and with the fleet being damaged and low on troops, having another force-sensitive within the First Order was a fact that had to be exploited.
"And your training will resume." He turned a bit and took a step back, distancing himself from her. "You are not prepared to be a part of a mission." His tone was clipped.
"I wouldn't exactly say that." She narrowed her gaze at him.
"We'll start now."