Hey guys I'm so sorry for the late update, I'm incredibly busy at the moment as my exams are coming up and my coursework deadlines are too. I'll try and update probably at the beginning of May but I'm not sure. If you haven't already go and check out my one shot I wrote! Hope you enjoy this x
Albus opened his eyes slowly. He couldn't remember closing them, or lying down for that matter. There was a gentle light above his head, and he saw the dark outlines of three people that were looking over him. Slowly their faces came into focus, and the memories hit Albus hard. His Mum looked close to tears, but he saw relief wash over her when Albus opened his eyes fully, whereas his Dad had a permanent expression of deep concern on his face. James resembled this expression, and he was biting his nails anxiously. Albus sat up slowly and Ginny piped up immediately. "Are you feeling well enough to sit up? Do you feel faint?"
"Mum I'm fine thanks, I'm not faint anymore." said Albus with slight embarrassment. His Dad took this as the go ahead to begin asking questions. "What was wrong Albus? You looked so frightened, and then you just passed out." Albus swallowed, but tried to keep cool about it. "I just wasn't feeling well, must have eaten something bad today but I'm feeling better now-"
"Albus" James had cut him off, looking Albus directly in the eye, "Don't" he finished quietly. He spoke in such a disappointed and saddened tone that Albus felt a pain in his chest. James knew that Albus was lying, he knew Albus' panic attacks well, and knew that that one was particularly severe. James had always kept them from their Mum and Dad on Albus' strict orders, but Albus knew that James wouldn't keep it any longer, not after today. Albus felt cornered, he was the prey and they were the predators, and there was no escape. No, I need to stay calm, for them. Albus took a deep breath. "Please be honest Albus, we need to know." Ginny reassured him.
"Has James told you anything yet? How long was I out for?" he asked them.
"No, he wouldn't tell us, he said that you should do it. And you've only been out twenty minutes." replied Harry. Albus sighed. He wished James had told them something at least, just so Albus would have somewhere to start, and not have to watch his parents faces turn into ones of disappointment.
Albus inhaled deeply in an attempt to calm his nerves, but it didn't improve much. "Well, basically I had a panic attack, and I get them quite a lot at school." Albus managed to squeeze out, speaking as fast as he could. His parents looked sympathetic, but Albus felt they were looking at him like he was wounded, and he didn't like that. Albus averted his eyes from his parents gazes. "Oh Albus, how long have you been having them?" Ginny asked. "Since...since my first year, they've got more frequent since then." replied Albus with some shame in his voice. He felt guilty for having hidden them for so long, but he only wanted what was best and he didn't want them to be worrying about him. Albus felt pathetic in front of them. He wanted to be someone else in that moment, someone who was stronger and that could handle anything. Ginny and Harry looked at eachother, then back at Albus. They felt ashamed for never having noticed the panic attacks. Albus continued, "James helped me get through them, helped calm me down, and still does now. But there was never a permanent solution." Harry's face turned to one of anger as he rounded on James. "You knew about this and you didn't tell us?" he said in disbelief.
"I wanted to tell you! Really I did! But every time I brought it up to Albus he'd get so afraid and worried of you knowing, he never wanted you to know." James said in his defence, and Albus nodded in response. Non of this was James' fault and he didn't want to drop him in it. James was his rock through those rough times, and Albus needed him. "Why didn't you want us to know Albus? Do you not trust us?" asked Harry with confusion.
"It's not that. I thought you wouldn't understand, or you'd think I was weak and wonder why I was ever placed in Gryffindor-" Albus began to ramble with uncontrollable emotion. Too many thoughts had been bottled up. "I thought you'd be embarrassed and just say 'pull yourself together' and wonder if I was even your son because I'm so weak-" Albus felt tears begin to sting his eyes, and his throat felt tight, like it was closing up on him. "You, mum, and everyone else in the family are so brave and amazing and wonderful, and I'm so small and I'm nothing!" Albus was crying now, he hated himself for it, but it was out of his control. He felt incredibly vulnerable and weak sat on his bed in front of his parents and his brother, sobbing and rambling between shudders of sadness. He hid his face in his hands in an attempt to rebuild the walls that had been torn down by his parents, hoping if they could not see his face they would forget the pain he was in and leave him alone. Of course this was a delirious thought, and Albus felt exposed, naked in front of them. With his face still in his hands, he didn't see the pair of arms that enveloped him in a tender but secure hug. Albus tensed up, but relaxed when he realised it was his Dad. Albus felt him stroking his hands through his hair, and rocking him slightly back and forth to calm him. "Albus Severus Potter." his Dad's voice spoke with gentle severity. "You are everything to me and your family, you are priceless. You are our son, you always will be, and we're so proud to have you." Albus was still crying, but his Dad's words were soothing to his emotional wounds. "You are not weak. Being upset or anxious, or having panic attacks does not make you a weak person. You're so brave having dealt with this for so long, but it's time you let people help you to get better. You don't need to be afraid, no one will judge you." The gratitude swelled in Albus' chest, and he felt more at home in his father's arms than he ever had before.
A silence passed over a few minutes, before Albus pulled away from his father and wiped the remaining tears from his face. He was feeling a lot calmer now, and had gained some sort of catharsis from crying into his father's chest. "Feeling better now?" asked Ginny, rubbing his shoulder.
"Yes thanks." replied Albus. Albus wasn't 100%, but he certainly felt the absence of a weight in his chest. "Good. Now is there anything else you're not telling us that we should know about?" she asked looking him in the eye. Albus hesitated for a moment. He knew the right thing to do was tell them about Rowell, but he could be watching them right now, and Rowell had given a warning in that letter that there would be consequences if he told anyone. James caught his eye, he had one eyebrow raised as if to say 'you know there is'. Albus looked away quickly, and decided to let go another secret. "Well, I suppose I should tell you this. So I made a knew friend this term, but I'm not sure how you'll react to who it is." Harry and Ginny looked confused, but waited for him to carry on. "Well, the person is Scorpius Malfoy."
There was a silence, in which Ginny and Harry looked at eachother, Albus couldn't read their facial expressions. Then to his utter surprise, his father laughed. "Well I'm surprised, I never thought my children would befriend his, I honestly thought I'd never see him again, thought he'd be one to run away from his past. But if his son is your friend then who am I to judge, I don't know what Scorpius is like. What is he like?" asked Harry curiously. Albus breathed a sigh of relief, before continuing.
"He's not like how you told Draco was in school, in fact he's the opposite. He's a Slytherin, he's very clever, but he's not pompous or nasty, he's really kind and friendly." Ginny had looked sceptical at first, but that seemed to have faded from her face, as she now looked surprised. "I was worried you'd be angry at my choice of friends, but I trust him, he's nice." said Albus inwardly blushing. Not to mention he's gorgeous. His parents both smiled, and James was smiling too. "I can vouch for that." said James, and Albus grinned at James for his support, despite the fact they'd never properly met. "We're not angry Albus, we're just surprised. If you like him then we trust your judgement of character, maybe we'll get to meet him one day." said Ginny reassuringly. Albus grinned, feeling so thankful that he had supportive parents. "Well it's getting late now, you two should be off to bed. Let us know if you need anything." said Ginny as she and Harry got up to leave Albus' room, with James following them. "Albus, don't hesitate to talk to us about anything. Good night." his father said fondly.
"Good night." Albus called after them, and they closed the door behind them. Albus lay back on his bed, feeling safer and calmer now than he had done in a while. He was so glad they had accepted Scorpius as his friend, he just wondered how they would have reacted if he'd told them it could be more than a friendship...I think I'll tell them that at a later date. Thought Albus. But then he remembered the letter from Rowell, and his happiness seemed to evaporate. Scorpius wasn't safe around Albus anymore, how could he continue to be his friend when he was putting him in danger? Rowell knew Scorpius and him were friends, but not that he'd confided in Scorpius about the bullying, at least he assumed. If Albus discussed it with Scorpius, and Rowell overheard, Scorpius would be in a lot of trouble, and it would be very easy for them to get to him. They share the same common room, it'd be all my fault. Albus ran his hands through his hair and sighed heavily, he could feel a headache coming on. He really couldn't keep up with himself anymore, all the secrets he'd kept were chaining him to the ground. But it'll be my fault if someone gets hurt...Albus fell into a weak and troubled sleep, seeing the burning flames of the letter over and over again.