Watc 12
It's been a month since Kurt first came face to face with the one and only Blaine Anderson. It's admittedly not been an easy month, partly due to the fact that apart from Tai and a small number of Blaine's team, nobody is aware of their weird and wonderful budding friendship…and whatever else is blossoming on the still shaded-horizon.
It has proven to be considerably difficult to keep the truth from Isabelle, and whenever Kurt's in class or in the office and somebody absent-mindedly mentions how amazing Blaine looked in whatever shoot or interview or live-aired TV event they recently saw him in, Kurt has to bite his lip and look the other way or make excuses to leave the room. It's too hard not to add his own personal opinions and anecdotes of Blaine. The Blaine he knows.
In a short amount of time Kurt has very quickly become accustomed to the fact that he and Blaine are mostly limited when it comes to when and where they choose to 'hangout' together.
He has already gathered that Blaine prefers Kurt's apartment to his own, that's not exactly a secret. It's a little further out of the way and there's risk of more exposure going in and out of the building. The only time they'd choose to hangout there would be for an intensive gaming session in Blaine's state of the art games room. But Blaine being Blaine has already recently resolved that issue by stealthily depositing a PS4 with all the trimmings in Kurt and Tai's living room with claims that he had no idea how it got there. Neither Tai or Kurt had the chance to argue about it.
But sometimes lounging around at Kurt's is just not an option with him having a roommate. Though, as lovely, understanding and quiet as Tai is— Kurt still feels a little weird about inviting Blaine to their place when he's around.
Because of course it's not exactly the most normal or conventional of friendships that they have. They can hardly discuss class assignments, study rituals together or even something silly but normal like celebrity crushes. Though Blaine does try to, but Kurt just gives him a dismissive look that loosely translates to "this is a weird conversation to be having with you and I'm ending it now."
Their friendship— the whole situation is still very new and fresh and wonderfully odd. It's something that was hard to swallow at first but now with every passing moment spent with and communicating in some way with Blaine, is becoming easier to accept.
Its novel and appealing and Kurt can finally admit (in his own head) that Blaine as irritating and imposing as he can be at times, doesn't appear to be going away anytime soon. He's not a big threat to Kurt's life or wellbeing or even future career, he's just like a big puppy who has found his favorite human. He has chosen to irritate and impose on Kurt—Only Kurt. And Kurt can't deny that he loves it. It makes him feel special, a one in a million.
For today's date (because no matter how much he tries to deny it—when ever he and Blaine 'hang out' it is in fact a date no matter how they choose to spend it,) they are sitting sipping on ginger ale cocktails and munching on a shared bowl of nacho's in a closed pub downtown.
The pub 'Harrisons' is owned by a close friend of Blaine's (Harry) whose husband (Nate, an equally close friend) is a photographer and director who has also worked with Blaine a number of times. Blaine has jumped to Nate's aid and volunteered his good-looks and model poses every time he has been asked to, therefore when Blaine needs somewhere empty to hangout, somewhere he can eat, drink, dance and listen to music and just be relatively normal—the pub is always at his disposal.
It's quite a small space but it's decorated in bright creams and reds, with leather sofas and booths to make it seem bigger and lighter. There's a small built-in stage with a big screen above it in the far corner, diagonal to the bar, where karaoke competitions sometimes commence and buskers appear with their instruments wanting to be heard.
The bar is currently unmanned with strict instructions for Blaine and 'guest' to help themselves to whatever they want. Nate said he'd back by 11 to lock up and it's only just past 7 now.
Blaine is humming along and tapping his foot to whatever is playing on the pre-programmed jukebox while he scoops up some hot, melted cheese on to the tip of his tortilla chip.
"You're so bad for my diet" Kurt muses, swirling his straw around his interestingly shaped glass while he chews on his latest mouthful of cheesy goodness.
It's true. Because of who Blaine is it's very hard to do anything together other than sitting locked away behind closed doors eating and drinking away their frustration.
Blaine grins up at him and nudges his foot against Kurt's under their small square table. Kurt has his chair on one side of the table and Blaine has not so subtly scooted his chair along so that he's sitting on the corner of the table, just inches away from Kurt.
"Pfft. What diet? You're perfect!" Blaine responds smoothly.
Kurt tries to hide his blush by raising his glass to his lips and looking down into it while he sips. "Too bad you can't go out in public without being mobbed. We could have jogged home to shift some of this." He mumbles teasingly when he puts his glass back down.
"Aww, you'd fight them off for me, wouldn't you?" Blaine whines in a playful, sing-songy voice. Another nudge under the table, though this time his foot lingers a little. Blaine's wearing a pair of his famous Capri's rolled up to his ankles; his bare, warm skin brushes against Kurt's lower shin and even though he's covered by skin-tight denim he can feel it.
Kurt is left a little speechless after this move of Blaine's, (one of the few things he has on his cons list when weighing up the pros and cons of hanging out with Blaine,) he glances away, tries to cool his heated skin and regulate his breathing.
Truth is? Even though Blaine is a big boy and has a squad of professional, fully qualified bodyguards on hand to keep him from the 'crazies' as Blaine likes to call them—the answer is yes. Kurt thinks that he would fight them off. Or at least have at them with his wit and sharp tongue.
Nothing has been more enlightening than learning Blaine inside and out, even though he's just beginning. No matter how much annoyance and frustration he had displayed for Blaine, how jealous (now that he can finally admit it) he is of what Blaine has and all he has achieved; Kurt can't help but get defensive on his behalf and somewhat protective.
It's so hard for Blaine to make friends—real genuine friends who want to be friends with him for him not for who he is and what he has. That had been the hardest part for Kurt to come to terms with at first. That Blaine had simply followed Kurt and latched on to him like a stray because he knew that he had to earn Kurt's approval and friendship.
But now that Blaine has it and now that Kurt understands more on a deeper, personal level, Kurt cares less about himself and his own turmoil and issues and begins to care more about the companionship he has with Blaine. Because truthfully? He's never had anything like it before. He has Tai and his family back home, but that's all. And it's quite minimal and just slightly too ordinary in comparison to what he seems to have with Blaine.
Blaine is offering him something new and different and more. And maybe Kurt can have more than one dream. He can fit somebody else into his plans and agenda. Somebody who already has a pretty strong agenda of their own—but now Kurt doesn't feel so inferior to that idea.
Kurt watches as Blaine shrugs one shoulder, dips his chin and grins all at the same time—a tell tale sign that a humorous quip or innuendo or a crazy idea of some kind is coming his way.
"You know there are- I have a private gym? I can request to have it emptied whenever you—"
Kurt's eyebrows shoot up to his hairline. It's good job he doesn't have anything in his mouth right now because he's pretty sure he would have spat it out all over the table.
Is Blaine really implying what Kurt thinks he's implying? Gym buddies? A buffed up Blaine in a tight tank top and shorts, gorgeously glistening with sweat, panting, biceps bulging while he lifts weights and strains every muscle along his powerful thighs and broad back and strong chest?
Oh my god!
"Umm, I-I think I'll just stick to my workout videos and yoga in my bedroom. Alone. Um, thanks." Because that would be one of the most embarrassing moments to ever occur in my life. And Blaine wouldn't have had to say or do a thing! It would be all me and my anatomy and body parts…
Blaine grins at Kurt's mumbling interruption and presses his lips together. His eyes flash bright and brilliant and his smile grows wider and Kurt just knows that the fucker is somehow reading his mind.
"No problem" he says airily, "just keep it in mind." He goes back to picking at the nachos and brushes a finger tip around the rim of his glass, smiling to himself like the gorgeous jackass he is.
Blaine has been a little more casual in his approach the past few months, but no less forward. He wouldn't be Blaine if he wasn't forward. He still makes his feelings towards Kurt very obvious but has made it clear that as along as he's with Kurt in someway then that's good enough for him.
He respects Kurt, that much is obvious and in return Blaine and his expanding book of manners and proper etiquette is growing on Kurt. Very much so.
"Kurt?" Blaine asks softly after a few moments of quiet between them, with just the gentle rhythmic beat of background music coming from the wall speakers.
Moments of silence between them like this are not a rarity, nor are they awkward or uncomfortable; when one or both of them don't speak, instead choosing to listen to other sounds around them or gaze off somewhere other than the other's face. It's a sign of how comfortable they together and a dead give-away to Kurt that he has finally found a friend in Blaine and in such a short amount of time too.
Funny, huh?
Kurt looks up at Blaine from where he staring vacantly at a smudge on the table. "Hmm?"
Blaine smiles and hesitates a little before he speaks. Kurt can always tell when Blaine is thinking about what he needs to say and how he's going to say it by the way his hazel eyes shimmer—deep in thought and then wrinkle at the corners. "Would- you know that we don't have to keep behind closed doors, right? Not anymore anyway."
Kurt gives a soft sigh and smiles. It's a small smile but it's there, one that seems to be reserved just for Blaine. Oh, this again.
This is not the first time that one of them has broached this subject. When it had been Kurt, it had come from a place of fear and nerves, unknowingness and sheer stubbornness.
Blaine has mentioned it twice now, and both times he has had hope shining in his eyes, his head held high with courage and bravery and happiness.
It's safe to say that they're both not exactly on the same page with this one.
"I know that, Blaine. Thank you." Kurt says sincerely. The answer he means but doesn't say is clear without the words distinctively coming out of his mouth.
No, I can't. There's too much at stake for Kurt. As relaxed and less-jealous of Blaine as he is now, he still wants his own career and he can't risk it being labelled on the back of Blaine's.
Kurt really does mean it though when he give his thanks and he appreciates the thought and the kindness in Blaine's voice when ever the topic is raised. It's clear how very sorry Blaine is that they appear to be in constant hiding together. At first it had been necessary, even Blaine hadn't wanted to expose either of them to the limelight.
But now it's almost as if Blaine wants to; like he's found something- someone that's finally worth showing off about.
But Kurt is- he's just not ready. Not yet. Not for cake and then desert.
Blaine nods, he looks a little sad but he sits up straight and squares his shoulders, determined not to be disappointed. He's getting good at not pushing the limits or over-stepping boundaries. Most times.
"I just wanted you to know" he says, "You know, that it's not me that's hiding away. I mean yes at first I wanted something normal to distract me from my insane life. Something that was just mine and only mine." Kurt's heart races a little while Blaine keeps talking. "but now I—"
Kurt holds his breath while Blaine seems to pause to catch his. He breathes out steadily, appearing to collect his thoughts as his eyes slip closed for a moment. "I've said this to you before. You're like a breath of fresh air, Kurt" Blaine breathes, reopening his eyes. "After what feels like a long, long time of breathing in contaminated words and lies. And people. You're not just a momentary fix for me. For this craziness I call a life."
Blaine takes Kurt's hand between their glasses on the table and pulls him in as close and comfortable as he can. "You know, I had assumed that meeting you was just chance." Blaine pauses and smiles, staring into Kurt's eyes so deep and longing. "Now? I'm not so sure."