Chapter 6: Keys to the Car and the Past

"In this chapter I restrict myself to exploring the nature of the amnesia which is reported between personality states in most people who are diagnosed with DID. Note that this is not an explicit diagnostic criterion, although such amnesia features strongly in the public view of DID, particularly in the form of the fugue-like conditions depicted in films of the condition, such as The Three Faces of Eve (1957). Typically, when one personality state, or 'alter', takes over from another, they have no idea what happened just before. They report having lost time, and often will have no idea where they are or how they got there. However, this is not a universal feature of DID. It happens that with certain individuals with DID, one personality state can retrieve what happened when another was in control. In other cases we have what is described as 'co-consciousness' where one personality state can apparently monitor what is happening when another personality state is in control and, in certain circumstances, can take over the conversation."

― John Morton, Trauma, Dissociation and Multiplicity: Working on Identity and Selves

I blearily wake up and frown as the last vestiges of sleep fall away like a discarded towel, and think about what the Hell just happened to me.

I can normally sleep whenever I want to and not worry about dreaming at all. Been doing it for more than a year. But last night was…different.

I don't recall what it was that caused me to wake up in the middle of the night, my pulse racing and breath short, but it happened.

A nightmare I assume. Which is worrying to me in a way I'm a little uncomfortable to admit.

While it may not be the most glamorous or admirable thing to be proud of (being really great at killing things and all), I take justifiable pride in my combat skills and cool-headedness under pressure, more so than I ever like to admit. Having a clear and uncluttered mind is a very big part of maintaining those skills.

Nightmares, or mental instability, is a terrifying concept to me. An inescapable threat that you can't fight, that you sometimes can't even remember?

Everyone has a breaking point.

Okay granted, I didn't lose any sleep over it. One breathing exercise later I was calmed and resting, and the dream didn't occur the rest of the night. It's totally possible this was just a fluke, or some random happenstance that won't bother me again.

I decide to ignore it for now and see if it goes away on its own. Until then I merely do a calming exercise, punting my apprehension straight out of my mind. There's something exciting I have planned for my team today, and I'll be damned if I let a little baseless anxiety ruin that.

First step in my little plan? Track down Vandham.

During our little get together last night Mia had randomly brought up the topic of Skell licenses once I'd groused about how my Lailah just couldn't seem to catch a break. To my shock no one else on my team actually has a license, or at least a Skell of their own.

Sure, Mia had 'borrowed' a Skell a while back but I'm just going to overlook that.

Regardless, if we're going to be taking a bigger part in these offensives against the Ganglion, we're going to seriously need Skells available to us.

Hence my search for Vandham.

I'm walking towards BLADE tower when I spot him giving orders to a group of mechanics, who look more than a little harried.

I grin as I hear him giving orders in his usual relaxed drawl.

"Keep your priorities straight people, it ain't that difficult. Transports and the rest get second fiddle to the Skell frames. If we're short of materials then buy em' off the merchants. And if they don't have it post a request on the Mission Board. We're upping the reward for that stuff so the Prospectors and Curators are gonna be going nuts for those missions. We're at war here people, get your job done! Hop to people!"

They all scatter and head back towards the Hangars while I walk up behind Vandham.

"Scaring the children again Commander?"

He turns around and grins once he sees me.

"It is better to be feared than loved, for men love at their own inclination, but you can make them fear at yours."

I grin at the surprisingly scholarly quote from Vandham, who's usual words of choice are both short and irreverent.

"I seem to remember Machiavelli also saying it's best to be both feared and loved."

"Yah well that's the trick now ain't it? Anyway what's up kiddo? Usually I'm the one asking for you, not the other way around."

"Yah I just realized a rather glaring oversight on my part. None of the people on my squad actually have Skell Licenses. I was hoping you could give us the all clear to earn them before this turns into a problem I want to kick myself over."

Vandham's eyebrows shoot up in surprise.

"Hold on a second. Didn't you get the details of this assignment when we first handed it off to you? Any member of the squad is eligible by default to take part in all of the responsibilities usually handled by top BLADEs. That includes a Skell License exam. Pretty sure we sent that bit of info along with your promotion to Lieutenant. Didn't you read it all?"

I have to try very hard not to choke and instead say, "Guess not. Well now I know I guess. Thanks Commander, I'll stop by and chat with Eleanora about the tests."

"Ah don't worry about that. Just make sure you're team can pass the practical and we'll ignore the rest of that hazing stuff."

"Well no complaints here. Thanks."

"Don't mention it. We're on a tight schedule here anyway."

I expect him to end the conversation there but he frowns before asking, "Hey kid, you don't have anything planned for tomorrow morning do yah?"

Confused as to why he's asking instead of ordering I cautiously reply, "No not right now. Why do you ask? Isn't this the part where you exercise your authority and, you know, order me to attend a meeting?"

"Well this ain't exactly a mission briefing per se…well if you're not busy then stop by BLADE HQ at 0900. Me and Nagi have something to talk to you about."

I frown at that.

"Sounds rather ominous. Should I be worried?"

"Well, not really? Look just show up then would yah?"

I shrug. Sounds important no matter what it is, it'd probably be in my best interest to go.

"You're the boss man. I'll keep my schedule open."

He looks slightly uncomfortable for some alarming reason, but I keep my anxiety to myself.

"Great, see you then kiddo."

He lumbers off and I give a resigned shake of my head.

What the Hell did I just agree to?

"Ok guys it's time for you all to graduate from lowly foot soldiers to the real deal, the guys who pilot the big robots and get work done."

"Fine words from the guy who's had his machine wrecked for almost a month straight now."

"Like you're one to criticize. If I recall didn't you, as you so delicately put it, 'borrow' a Skell and then, after wrecking it a bunch of times, lose it all together?"

"Er…maybe?"

"Exactly. So cram it, Walters on his way."

The four of us minus Vi are standing off to the side of the A.D. Hangar waiting to undergo the Skell License test. Well it's actually just Mia, Celica and Julun that are lined up to take the exam.

Vi said he had something insanely important to take care and would meet us here if he could. He's never begged off from an assignment before, so while I was happy to cut him some slack, my curiosity over what he found so important is running high.

Whatever. I'll ask him later.

Walter saunters over and the grizzled veteran gives me a happy smile.

"So these three are the new graduates huh? Oh, and there's a familiar face."

He grins somewhat maliciously at Mia, who tries her best not to look ashamed.

"Uh, hi there Walter! So I'm uhh…here to actually get my license…."

She's practically whispering by the end of her sentence and I chuckle at her humbled attitude. Walter relents a little as well, saying, "Ok ok no need to get all worked up kid. You can make it up to me by putting your machine to good use once you earn it."

Perking up a little she smartly salutes and says, "Yes sir!"

Craning his neck Walter turns towards Julun and Celica.

"And how about you two? Ready to take on one of NLA's most taxing-yet awesome- responsibilities?"

They both give an affirmative nod. Walter smiles and then claps his hands.

"Alright then let's get to it! First things first, if you don't mind me asking ladies, how do you usually fight when you have boots on the ground?"

I grin as Walter slips into professor mode and take a moment to look around the hangar.

With focus back on fighting the Ganglion Skell production has soared through the roof, approaching and then surpassing the frantic last weeks in the search for the Lifehold core, when practically every resource had been put to military use.

I guess that's to be expected though, since the Hangar is roughly half again as large as it was before. Expansion of the Skell production facilities had been NLA's top priority once hostilities had simmered down, and the resulting facility was a marvel of both Human and Xeno technology.

Where they had once been only storage crates and the liquefied landing gel, there now stood a state-of-the-art factory dedicated to the creation of ever more advanced Mechs. I smile at the sight of both Ma-non, Orphean, Wrothian, Prone and Human technicians working side by side with practically no animosity.

Leave it to something as awesome as Skells to bring people together.

I tear my attention away and look back towards where my teammates are getting matched up with their training machines. Celica is being given a Formula while Mia a Mastema, but it's Julun's machine that draws my eye.

I walk over to Walter and say, "Where the heck did you get ahold of that? Spoils of war?"

He looks back towards me and grins.

"Believe it or not that's the machine you and your group did a number on back in Noctilum. Looks to be in pretty good shape doesn't she?"

I give an appreciative nod. The Galdr that we shot up a bit more than a week ago during the camp skirmish must have been brought back to the city, seeing as how Julun is just starting up it's systems now.

Walter continues on with, "It's actually good for us that you have someone on your squad who's at least somewhat familiar with Ganglion control schemes. We repaired her but weren't exactly sure who would do the test flights. One more problem solved."

"Happy to be of service. Especially when I don't have to really do anything."

Walter snorts and I take a closer look at how the test is proceeding. Celica and Mia have the same thing I had to go through, with an obstacle course designed to test just how proficient the pilot is with moving their machine.

Climbing walls, uneven surfaces, picking up and setting down objects of various size and weight…all manner of odd tasks with the sole purpose of forcing a potential pilot to know their machines limits inside and out.

I don't quite manage to hide a little smile of pride as I see Celica breeze through the trials right alongside Mia. She's nothing if not a quick study, only around a month of time spent with the simulators and she's making the real deal look easy.

I turn back towards Walter and ask, "So what are you going to do about Julun? Do we even have a benchmark for Ganglion Skells?"

He merely shrugs.

"Course we don't. But does she really look like she needs it?"

I look back towards Julun's Galdr and have to admit he has a point.

Like all Ganglion Skells the Galdr uses a dual thrust system: an anti-gravity engine and a smaller one that uses more conventional forms of thrust. I can only imagine that learning to simultaneously use the two systems is something of a nightmare.

Not that watching Julun would let you know any of that. Heck, she even looks like she's having fun, floating up to the ceiling, turning upside down and then doing lazy figure eights around two support columns.

I open a comm channel to her and say, "Now you're just showing off."

She replies with open happiness in her voice.

"Sorry Cross. But piloting is more fun that I remember. Only had limited chances to train with Skell before. Taking full advantage of opportunity now that it is here."

I snort as she puts the machine into it's cruise mode and points it's nose at the floor. Then, God help me, she starts spinning the Galdr like a dradle. I hear a few mechanics start whistling and applauding, as more and more people stop to watch.

I grin and reply, "Well enjoy to your hearts content. Try not to put a dent in the walls though, otherwise I think you'll disappoint your audience."

"Noted."

I chuckle and move to put my comm away, but hold off on that as it starts beeping to let me know I have a new message.

I read it and raise an eyebrow.

Opening up a channel to my team I say, "Sorry to bail on you guys, but our little boy wonder just sent me an urgent message saying he needs my help with something."

"Well then go help him out Chief! We're gonna start on the flying part of the test soon anyway, so you'll just be standing around doing nothing."

"I admire your boldness in telling your superior officer what to do."

"It's one of my many charms Chief."

"Well with that sage advice I'll take my leave. Catch you later, Celica, Julun."

I get two distracted acknowledgments and smile. Guess they must be focusing pretty hard right now.

"Sorry to bail Walter, but duty calls. Can you take care of the rest?"

He nods.

"Don't sweat it. I seriously doubt any of them are gonna mess up, I'll just hand em' the paperwork once they're done and be on my merry way."

"Appreciate it."

"Catch you later kid!"

I exit the hangar and start heading towards the teleport that'll take me to the Ma-non ship. Time to figure out what Vi is up to.

I try to keep my lunch down as I step off of the teleporter.

While being able to instantaneously travel from one spot to another is a pretty sweet trick, the actual transfer itself always feels like someone just gut punched me. I breathe out and head to the Port side of the ship.

If the Ma-non can use the teleporters without upchucking I sure as Hell should be able to.

I walk down to the second level of the ship and see a cleared out area where most of the Wrothians and Prone practice their combat skills. I sigh and hope that Vi isn't going to ask for some sort of sparring match, I'm really not in the mood right now.

To my surprise, and anxiety if we're being totally honest here, I spot Vi standing next to none other than Zo Ozuchi. I slow my walk and nervously wonder if I'd be better off just avoiding those two all together right now.

Too late. Ozuchi spots me and confidently booms, "Ah Cross! You've arrived sooner than expected!"

I sigh at his words. So much for sneaking away.

I finish the stroll over and try not to wince at the expectation of incoming injury. Pasting on a nervous smile I say, "Long time no see. How you've been doing lately?"

He grins happily and says, "The best I have been feeling in quite a number of years! Seeing my people freed from the yoke of the Ganglion, the success of the Battle Gauntlet, seeing my student grow under the tutelage of the one who bested me…I have never had so much to do before! Hahaha!"

I notice Vi's tail slightly wrap around his legs at Ozuchi's mention of him growing. I can't help but grin a little myself.

It's hard not to get swept up along with Ozuchi's happiness, the guy is practically leaking exuberance.

"That all aside, the two of us have a favor to ask of you Cross."

Uh oh. If past experience is anything to judge by, this is probably the part where they request a duel with me.

"I would like you to judge a match between me and my pupil. I know just how skilled you are, and cannot think of anyone else present in this city more qualified to referee our bout."

Oh. Well ok then.

I shrug and say, "Happy to help. But are you on a timetable or something Vi? You're missing the Skell test right now."

He looks somewhat embarrassed but replies, "Actually, this is a form of exam. Although I do apologize for the odd timing."

I look questioningly at Ozuchi who grins excitedly.

"Vi Leand will duel me for the privilege of piloting his own Calador. Should he win, he will earn the right to pilot. And not just any machine. He will be the operator of Ozuchi Calador."

Vi's head snaps around so fast I'm surprised he didn't break his neck. Guess Ozuchi left out that little detail until now.

"Master? I'm honored beyond words that you would offer up your machine like that, but am I honestly so-"

"You seem quite certain that you will win in the first place, don't you?"

Vi falls silent with a chastised look on his face.

Losing his stern face Ozuchi gently smiles and adds, "That is good though. Confidence is always a fine thing to have. And I have caught up with old friends in this city, who have had nothing but praise for you ever since joining Cross's group. In fact, I'm quite interested to hear what my rival has to say about you himself!"

He stares at me and Vi tries his hardest not to look apprehensive. I fight down the temptation to mess around with him a little and instead say, "Well I did almost have to die before he would relax enough to start calling me by my name instead of 'Lieutenant'…but he's his masters student alright. And believe you me, I'm happy that I get to call him a friend."

Vi looks like he's about to pass out from embarrassment while Ozuchi gives a satisfied smile.

"I am glad to hear that my pupil has not only advanced his skill, but also his spirit."

Suddenly clapping his hands he stands tall, speaking in a commanding tone.

"Come Vi Leand, show me the fruits of your labor!"

Vi gives me a glance and I flash a smile that is halfway between encouraging and smug. Boy am I happy that it's not me about to walk into that meat grinder.

Straightening his spine Vi takes a deep breath and follows Ozuchi out to the middle of the floor. I take up position about five meters away from the two of them and take a deep breath.

"Ok here's the rules. No weapons. Everything else goes. So uh…begin?"

Wow. Great sports-commentator I'll never friggin' be.

Regardless of my less than stellar commentary, they both begin their match. Ozuchi and Vi both assume the standard Wrothian ready stance, neither moving towards the other.

After a few seconds of staring, they both start to circle each other in a cautious loop, clearly waiting for the other to make the first move.

I take this moment of relative calm to look over the two fighters and try to gauge their odds.

Vi has only gotten better these past few weeks, slowly gaining an appreciation for teamwork and patience. While I wouldn't say his actual combat skills have improved much, that hardly matters since his mental fortitude is much stronger than it once was.

I glance at Ozuchi and, well…he's still Zo Ozuchi.

All modesty aside, he's one of only three people on the entire planet that if I suddenly had to fight to the death, no rules, I can't say with any confidence that I would walk away victorious.

The other two being Elma and more recently, that Milsaadi Bitch from Oblivia.

While Elma may not be quite as martially skilled as the other two, it's not like she's a pushover. What she does have over the other two is almost a year of fighting alongside me, learning how I think and act. That singular advantage makes up for the other two's advantages.

My train of thought is interrupted as Vi suddenly pushes off the floor and aims a crescent kick at Ozuchi's head. Raising an open palm in front of Vi's kick he slows it's momentum enough so that he's merely pushed to the side instead of knocked flat.

Taking advantage of Vi's momentary balance issues Ozuchi kneels and aims a side kick at Vi's feet, obviously hoping to topple him.

Vi is a step ahead of him though, and had used his one good leg to push off of the floor into a slightly awkward backflip, tearing his limb out of Ozuchi's grip.

He lands sprightly on his feet but Ozuchi is already in his face, starting his trademark one-two fake out combo.

I wince and feel for Vi. Ozuchi pulled that maneuver on me during our match and it's a certified nightmare to deal with. What he does is a succession of two punches, the first one either faster or slower than the following hit, which merrily screws with your timing.

It's a classic boxing trick, effective but nothing Vi or anybody with a decent grasp of infighting couldn't handle.

But that's not the hard part. What really sucks is that Ozuchi keeps altering the speed of every series of punches, the angle, the type of hit, and if he's feeling generous he'll mix in a few kicks as well.

It doesn't help matters that his 'various speeds' mostly consist of fast and ridiculously fast, making it damn near impossible to do anything but defend.

I gotta give credit to Vi though, he's not backing off but trying his damnedest to fight Ozuchi head on.

I can't help but give a small grin as I think back to how I reacted to Ozuchi's milieu of blunt force trauma. One exchange of blows and I threw myself into a back roll to get the hell out of there.

Regardless, Vi is still wildly blocking all of Ozuchi's attacks as best he can. Kudos to the guy, but there's only one way this is going to end.

Sure enough, Vi is a hair late on blocking a sudden palm thrust that smashes him in the solar plexus, which leaves too stunned to block Ozuchi's shoulder throw that slams him to the ground.

I raise my hand and say, "Victory goes to the feline Bruce Lee!"

Ozuchi looks at me questioningly and I merely shrug.

"Earth reference."

Turning his attention back to his pupil he helps him up, although Vi looks slightly despondent. Well, losing does kinda suck.

Ozuchi takes a step back and examines Vi intensely for a moment before smiling.

"That was quite the improvement over our past sparring matches! Very well done my pupil. You pass!"

Vi looks like he was just told he can fly by flapping his arms.

"Err, Master? Wasn't I supposed to actually win before-"

"Yes yes, that was what I had originally decided. But after hearing Cross's words and seeing you fight I changed my mind."

"Would you forgive me if I asked why you did so?"

"Because you will put my Skell to far better use than I currently can. I seldom, if ever, take her into actual combat. My Calador will aid you in keeping your newfound brothers and sisters in arms safe."

Vi deeply bows his head.

"You honor me Master. I promise to use Ozuchi Calador to her utmost potential."

Ozuchi grins happily.

"Not Ozuchi Calador. Leand Calador."

I thought Vi looked shocked before, but now I'm of half a mind to call for a doctor in case his heart gives out.

And I'm sure as Hell not giving mouth-to-mouth. Those canines look sharp.

Vi still looks bewildered so Ozuchi turns to me and says, "I offer you my thanks as well Cross. I owe you much for taking my student under your wing and improving his skills."

I smile and hold out my hand.

"Friends for friends right? Besides he's saved our collective bacon plenty of times, so I really should be the one thanking you."

"Such humility, It's so easy to forget that you have fought and beaten almost every fighter on this planet when you act so humble. I highly anticipate our rematch!"

I clench my cheeks once he mentions a rematch.

All four of them.

To my relief he simply clasps my hand and says, "Until then friend. Tides of fortune be with you."

He walks off and leaves me with a still recuperating Vi. Recovering his sense a bit he turns towards me somewhat awkwardly and says, "So…I missed the License Test I understand? My apologies for dragging you away to help with this Cross."

I snort. Typical Vi right there.

"Don't worry about it pal, I was mostly just there as moral support. If we leave now we can probably catch the ladies as their leaving. Perfect time to congratulate them on their success would't you say?"

He smiles sheepishly and replies, "Julun and Mia will probably find a way to heckle me regardless."

"They absolutely will, but that's no excuse not to give them the opportunity. It's your solemn duty as their friend to give them a reason to make fun of you. Follow my example if you will."

He chuckles at that.

"Perhaps not to the extent you take it Cross."

I grin at his joke.

"Looks like your back to normal."

He nods and goes quiet for a moment before turning to me with a serious look on his face.

"Cross, I appreciate-"

"Look, if you're going to say something incredibly sappy, please save it. I'm awful at handling praise, and that's coming from a guy who's friends with Ackwar. Let's just leave it at what friends do for friends, okay?"

He looks at me for a second before laughing.

"Such shyness around sentimentality! How in Wroth's name do you ever expect to win Celica's heart if you cannot even express yourself to friends?"

I growl at him.

"I get enough scathing looks and comments from Mia about this, don't add yourself to the list amigo."

He merely chuckles.

"In all seriousness Cross, why don't you formalize some manner of relationship with her? And don't try to tell me you haven't noticed her attraction to you as well."

I'm silent for a moment before replying, "Look, having a romantic partner in the same squad is asking for all kinds of trouble. It promotes jealousy and feelings of exclusivity. How is that good for any squad?"

Vi merely gives me a smug grin.

"Everyone else in the squad wishes for you to be together, to my understanding Mia has actively been trying to bring you two together for some time now. And there are a number of squads throughout NLA that turn a blind eye to romantic liaisons between members. There, I just allayed your most prominent fears. Any more excuses?"

I'm quiet for a moment before giving a small sigh.

"No, and I was mostly just using those as a pretense. Look it's not as simple as that. I just-"

I cut off my sentence with an annoyed shake of my head.

"Look, you know about my memory issues right?"

He nods.

"The real reason I can't pull the trigger is because, well…Christ, I don't even know how to put this into words. Summed up, I guess I'm just scared to."

He stares at me blankly.

"You're 'scared' to?"

"Pretty much, yah."

"You have the opportunity to fall in love with a beautiful woman who loves you back, during a war that one day might claim one of your lives, and you don't want to proceed because you're 'scared'…you'll forgive me saying that that makes no sense whatsoever Cross."

"Well no shit genius, how'd you figure that out?" I snap back.

I immediately regret losing my temper and force myself to calm down. This particular facet of my amnesia has always been a sore spot for me.

"Sorry I snapped like that, but it's not an emotion that necessarily makes sense…I guess the best way for me to describe it is a fear of taking action and then, well…not being good enough. Say I ask her out and she accepts. What then? I don't have any idea what I'm supposed to do. Do I just act like I alway have towards her? Is there some sort of expectation that I have to fulfill? I have nothing to go on. Nothing but people who aren't me giving advice and encouragement along the lines of, 'you'll know what to do' or some other bullshit that doesn't help one goddamn bit-"

I snap my jaw shut as I realize my voice is rising and my heart is beating a little faster. Way to go jackass, just lay into a guy who was genuinely trying to help you…

I regretfully look at Vi and see him silently staring at his feet, and I feel like the worlds biggest asshole.

To my surprise he suddenly looks at me with a calm smile on his face and comfortingly says, "Not knowing how to interact with the fairer sex is something all males, no matter the species, deal with, I can promise you that. And you forget Cross, I have come to know Celica quite well these past few weeks myself. Do you honestly think she is so cruel and averse to understanding that she will reject you should you make, in your words, a 'mistake'? The only person I know as compassionate and selfless as her is you, Cross."

I give an inward sigh and wonder, not for the first time, what good deed I performed in the past that gave me such amazing friends. I guess telling him the truth is the only way to convey what my real worry is.

"I know Vi, I know. And that's my real worry. If we do become something, well, more, what if I…if I…"

I grit my teeth. Say it, coward.

"What if I lose everything again? What if one day I wake up and don't even recognize her or anyone else? Can I ask her to potentially go through that?"

Vi looks confused for a moment before his eyes widen.

"That can happen?"

I give a jerky nod.

"They examined my MIM and couldn't find anything wrong with it, and the Lifehold is still being repaired, so they can't directly check my consciousness. If it happened once, it can happen again, anytime."

I give a deep breath and run through one of my mental disciplines, trying to keep it together.

Vi is silent for a long moment before he wordlessly clasps my shoulder.

"I now see why you are so hesitant to do anything, and yet…I still think you should try to take advantage of this happiness while you can. What would be better? To always be afraid of consequences that might never come about, or to seize happiness while you can, and rely on ones who care about you to help?"

I think about what he just said and slowly reply, "I'll think about it…what you're saying sounds right but…I don't know, I need a little more time to think about this."

He smiles widely.

"Make the attempt Cross, you might find yourself surprised at what happens."

"Yah, surprised. I think that surmises today pretty well."

We walk along in silence for a few more moments before I mumble out, "Thanks for listening Vi, I appreciate it. The advice wasn't too badly delivered either."

He snorts.

"Again with the sentimentality difficulties."

"Go easy on me, I'm sensitive."

Eventually we make our way back to the Hangar to be greeted by our three very excited teammates.

"Hehe, guess who's got the real deal now Chief! No more steal-er, borrowing Skells for Mia!"

I roll my eyes.

"I'm kinda shocked that you admit so casually to theft of military equipment, but hey! More power to you."

Julun and Celica laugh, obviously in high spirits. I turn towards Walter who's shaking his head.

"I hope they didn't give you too much grief."

He grins in reply.

"You kidding me? Those three aced the test and made it look easy. I'm wondering why I even had to bother showing up."

He shakes his head and waves as he walks back to the repair bay.

I turn around to see Mia and Julun pestering Vi about what he was up to, while he tries to simultaneously answer them both.

"It's rather adorable how he gets pushed around by them, don't you think?"

I glance to my right and see Celica smiling up at me. I can't help but grin in reply and say, "He never said anything about having siblings, I think those two make good sisters for him. Just the right amount of overbearing, pushy, and loving."

She chuckles and seeing her laugh causes me to impulsively pull her into a hug.

"Huh? Umm…Cross? What are you doing?"

I frown a little. What exactly am I doing? That was a weirdly spontaneous, even for me.

"Uhh…no reason."

Which wasn't even the question, but my minds elsewhere right now.

I suddenly feel her arms wrap around me in turn and her body shake as if in laughter.

"No reason? Is that your excuse?"

"That's not my excuse, that's my reason. To not have a reason. Congrats on passing the test by the way. I think I'm just gonna stop talking now."

I can really feel Celica trying not laugh out loud now and give a self-deprecating shake of my head.

Casanova would be turning in his grave right now.

I take a deep breath and let it out. I immediately feel myself relaxing a bit as I inhale Celica's scent. I dunno if it's something natural to Qlurians or a kind of shampoo, but she always seems to have this faint scent of lavender and vanilla around her. Maybe that's why my brain always seems to turn itself off around her.

She steps away from me after a moment and looks up with concern on her face.

"Are you alright Cross? You seem oddly…subdued."

Either my emotions are pretty transparent as of now or she's just used to reading me.

Probably both.

I give a small sigh and say, "Yah, my minds all over the place today. I'll be over it by tomorrow. Hopefully."

"Well if you say so, Lieutenant."

"It's not nice to tease."

We both share a chuckle before I see the other three staring not so subtly at us. I arch an eyebrow.

"Enjoying the show are we?"

Mia grins.

"Well now that you mention it, yah, we kinda are."

I roll my eyes and see Vi give me a slow wink. Ok ok, I can take a hint dude. I'll give this some real thought.

Julun suddenly turns to Vi with an amused look on her face.

"So Wrothian, everyone now has license but you."

"Not totally correct julun. The Wrothians aren't necessarily bound by NLA's command structure, so he doesn't technically need a license, even though he's on the squad."

Julun looks at me with open shock on her face.

"That hardly fair!"

Vi clears his throat and says, "Actually Cross, she raises something of a vilid point, despite her usual less than cordial way of presenting it."

Which earns him a smack on the arm, but he presses on regardless.

"I would feel odd if I was the only one who hadn't undergone the same test everyone else had. If it's not any trouble, I would like to take the test as well."

I shrug.

"Fine by me, but shouldn't you take the test with your Calador? I dunno if it's kept at these hangars."

"Is it giant gold machine?"

I look at Julun with surprise.

"Yah it is actually. How did you know that?"

"It flew in about an hour ago, a Wrothian dismounted and talked to Walter for moment before leaving."

She shrugs.

"Lucky guess you could say."

I shake my head at Zo Ozuchi's planning and simply state, "Well if you want to take the test, sounds like everything is ready for you pal."

He nods assuredly.

"I shall begin then. I will see you all at a later date then."

We all stare at him until he worriedly says, "Did I say something wrong?"

Mia sighs and says, "You don't think we were just gonna wander off and leave you here all by your lonesome were you?"

"But you have already spent much of the day-"

Celica gives a tired sigh.

"We're teammates Vi. Or maybe friends would be a more appropriate word. And friends stick around to offer helpful, distracting advice to other friends."

I snort at her last sentence.

"Well there you have it Vi. You're going to have a very vocal and critical audience watching your performance, so you'd better step it up."

"I'm truly lucky, aren't I?" He says, completely deadpan.

A few hours later once the sun is down and Mira's moons are shining brightly in the sky Vi finishes up his test and is awarded with his slightly pointless, but still well earned, pilot's license. I yawn as Mia and Celica lead the way to Armory Alley, and idly reflect that it never seems to truly be night on Mira.

Frye, Doug and all the other war veterans told me stories of how dark it could sometimes get on Earth. So black that you couldn't even see your hand in front of your face. Mira doesn't have that problem.

With all five of it's moons constantly rotating through the sky at distances much closer than Earth's moon, the light reflected off of them ensures that Mira is never truly without illumination. Even a heavily clouded night doesn't impair vision too much.

More than a few of Mira's new residents at first found it difficult to sleep at night with the constant brightness, and window blinds sold out within hours.

"Hmm…what are you gonna get Celica? I'll probably have to settle for the first gen models considering my…shaky financial standing."

"Likely the same for me, While not quite as free with my money as you are, I haven't taken nearly as many jobs as you have."

"What's the point of money, if not to spend! You make a valid point though girlfriend…man, hindsight is 20/20."

I chortle at their banter. After we all grabbed a bite to eat at the Blue Pocket Mia brought up a rather critical oversight that we had all stupidly forgotten.

Mia and Celica don't own Skells of their own.

While Skell production has ramped up big time, it's still predicted that about another six months will pass before mass produced Urbans and Infernos will be available at extremely cheap prices to the vast majority of BLADEs.

Until then they'll have to remain a scarce and expensive commodity.

Which is why I have a little surprise in store for my subordinates.

"So what variants are you two thinking of getting? Walter's pretty good at matching you up to the craft you'll excel at."

"Yah, I'm pretty sure the Mastema is where I'm at Chief. And Celica seemed right at home with the Formula."

Which totally makes sense. The Mastema is basically a mobile gun turret, with heavy armor and a highly advanced targeting array that excels in precision shooting and bombardments. It's pretty well suited for Mia who usually backs us up with well aimed Raygun bursts. Same goes for Celica.

The Formula is easily the fastest of all currently produced Skells. While the Urban is the easiest and most balanced machine being created, due to a nice mix of mobility and durability, the Formula eschews most armor in favor of maximum flexibility and maneuverability.

Again, fitting Celica's style very well. On the ground she prefers to take advantage of her small stature and speed to outpace opponents, and I can respectfully attest to it's lethality. She'll be right at home with the Formula.

And now for my little party favor…

I step up behind them and say, "You sure you can't afford the second gens?"

They both look at me like I just spouted another head.

"You kidding me Chief? Those puppies run a few million at the cheapest. I'm gonna be paying this girl off over a few years as it is anyway, ain't no way I can buy the high end stuff."

"Huh. That's weird. I don't recall ever saying it was you who was gonna be paying."

She gives me a perplexed look until I brush her aside and start entering my account information. Her eyes widen and she knocks my hand aside.

"Nooooope, not happening Chief."

"Odd. You seem to be insinuating that your life isn't worth a little bit of money."

"C'mon Chief don't give me that! A couple hundred thousand credits isn't, 'a little bit of money', it's a freaking lot!"

"What's the point of money, if not to spend it? Funny, I recall someone else saying that not too long ago."

I turn and face Celica as Mia flounders, trying to think of another argument.

"Well Celica? What are your thoughts?"

She gives an adamant shake of her head.

"I agree with Mia. It's not right of us to take advantage of your hospitality like that, even if you mean well by it."

I simply shrug.

"Well I guess you'll just have to live with being wrong then, because there's no way in Hell I'm letting anyone on my team go out there with subpar equipment if I can help it. Also, Mia? It's not a couple hundred thousand I'm spending, it's a couple million."

Mia makes a noise like she forgot how to breathe, and Celica looks as if she can't believe what she's hearing. I take this opportunity to finish up the order and have the paperwork be sent to their respective comms.

I stretch my back and smile contentedly before breaking into a laugh at their terrified expressions.

Ok, it was worth spending 5,260,000 credits, if only to see the look of abject horror on their faces at what I just did.

Celica recovers first and shouts, "Cross! Rescind that transaction now."

I raise my hands peaceably and reply, "No can do. My decision is final. And it's not like I couldn't afford it."

Mia practically shouts, "How on Earth could you merely afford something that expensive?! What, are you sitting on some kind of fortune or something?!"

"Well sort of? One moment…" I check my finances real quick and nod.

"Yup, even after that buy I still have twenty-seven mil left over in the bank. So relax before your heart gives out."

My words seem to have the opposite effect as Mia suddenly covers her face with her hands.

"Chief? How…uhh…how exactly did you earn that much money in just about a year?"

I think about it a moment then shrug.

"Doing a little bit of everything really. In between my finders fee for all the Data Probe installations, missions straight from HQ, compensation for recovered tech, as well as the random missions and stuff scattered throughout, it all kinda added up over time."

Mia sighs and turns to Celica.

"Do NOT let this one go. He's wealthy"

I see Celica slightly blush out of the corner of my eye and decide to move the conversation in a different direction.

"So there we have it! Everyone's happy and all armored up. All in a days work."

"Hey Chief? Just, well…thanks I guess. For always looking out for us."

I see Celica about to speak up as well and I quickly interject with, "Hey c'mon now, you know I'm just about as bad as Ackwar with the thanks and everything. Just thank me by coming back alive."

They both give resigned sighs and I don't quite manage to hold in a chuckle at their synchronized exhalation. I glance at my timepiece and see that it's almost 2230. And I have that meeting tomorrow with the brass.

"Well I think we've accomplished quite a bit today, ready to call it? I have a meeting with HQ tomorrow at 0900 so feel free to spend the morning how you want to. Just a suggestion, but you might want to give a customized paint job to your Skell. I can't be seen with a bunch of people still rocking the stock colors, that'd just be way too embarrassing?"

I smirk at the excited gleam that enters Mia's eyes.

"Well now that you mention it Chief…yah I got something lined up all right."

"Well then I shall bid you fair ladies a fond farewell, and have sweet dreams."

Celica smiles and says, "Spending a lot of time with L?"

"That obvious huh?"

"Extremely so. The Cross I'm familiar with is much more shy around woman than he pretends to be."

I scowl at her.

"Oh sure, bring up the truth."

I roll over miserably in my bed and glance at the time 0705. Still two hours to go.

I flip onto my back and give a depressed sigh as I look at the ceiling. Turns out last night I had another, I'm assuming, nightmare.

So much for it being a one time thing.

I still didn't have any issue going back to sleep, and I still can't recall any details, but that's not what I'm worried about. What has me…well, scared is that if I suddenly started having these things for no reason, they might get worse. Right now they're barely worth my attention, but if they escalate…

I violently cut that thought off.

I am not losing my mind. I'll do my breathing and calming exercises like always and be just fine.

I immediately feel a slight bit of tension in the air as I walk into the conference room. To my surprise I also see Chausson sitting right alongside Nagi and Vandham.

Never a good sign.

I take a seat across from the three of them and try my best to relax.

"So what's on the agenda today?"

To my further unease none of them do anything except awkwardly shift in their seats for a few seconds before Vandham starts with, "Just to start us off on the right foot here, this…explanation will go a lot quicker if you just wait until we're done, then feel free to ask us anything. And I mean anything, this isn't some sort of formal mission briefing or anything, it's all off the record."

I nod slowly.

"Ok well, we have some information about your past that we think you have the right to know."

"The 'right' to know?" I ask as I quirk an eyebrow.

"Remember what I said about waiting until we're finished?"

I sigh and reply, "Right, sorry. Continue."

Vandham takes a deep breath.

"Ok, well here's where things get…messy."

I lean back in my chair and stare sightlessly at the ceiling, dead silent.

Nagi, Vandham and Chausson are completely silent, apparently waiting for me to say something.

I heave a deep sigh and rub my eyes.

"So let me get this straight. I may or may not have had an actual life before being selected by the project. Alternatively, I may have just been some sort of lab grown specimen, created specifically for one single purpose."

Silence.

"Furthermore, my overriding purpose in life that was beaten into me with hypnotism, brainwashing, drugs or whatever, is apparently to ensure Humanities survival among the stars, come Hell or Highwater. Correct so far?"

Nagi gives a slow nod.

My arm aches because I'm clenching my fist so hard.

"And the reason you three, as well as Eleanora, never told me about this was because you were worried I might become unstable, knowing about my past and what was done to me."

It's so quiet you could hear a pin drop on a mattress.

My jaw clenches and my voice is cold enough to freeze interstellar space itself.

"Instead, I got to spend more than year of my life constantly in fear of suffering another amnesia attack, never knowing if one day I would wake up with no clue who I even was, but that's ok as long as I did my job right wasn't it? Because a mentally sound person wouldn't have to keep a fucking dossier of everything he's ever done in a notepad right next to where he sleeps, just in case one day he wakes up and doesn't even recognize the people he's fought and bled with for every day of his short, short life, now WOULD HE?!"

I see Chausson flinch and that small action is like a bucket of ice water in my face. I take a shaky breath and unclench my fist as I realize just who I'm yelling at.

"Sorry, none of you deserved that."

Vandham quietly says, "Actually we kinda did."

I make an axing motion with my hand.

"No, you didn't. From day one you've all had to constantly worry about the city as a whole, trying to keep us alive in a universe that seems to be very actively trying to kill us. If I was in your position, I know I would have done exactly the same."

Now that I'm marginally calmer, I regret my little outburst. Those three along with Eleanora have almost singlehandedly kept NLA alive despite all the hardships facing it, I should be thanking them, not shouting at them.

I give an exhausted sigh and say, "If it's alright with you, do you mind if I have some time to think about this? I'll…I'll feel better if I can work through it on my own."

"Sure kid…dismissed."

I slowly stand up and head to the door, but stop just before exiting.

"Is this something to keep to myself? Or can I tell others?"

"This information is yours to do with Cross. We're prepared to deal with whatever comes of it becoming public. All we ask is that you don't make out the Director General or Eleanora to be responsible."

I give a small nod of understanding. They thought this through.

"Understood. And thank you. For trusting me enough that is. Despite what I said, it does mean a lot to me."

I close the door behind me and walk out onto the main concourse, completely lost in thought.

The room was deathly silent in Cross's departure. Chausson released a slightly pent up breath and ran a hand through his hair. That was the first time he had ever been on the receiving end of seemingly genuine anger from Cross.

Ordinarily the the young man excluded nothing but a calming and slightly mischievous atmosphere, but that had been…different.

Chausson could recognize just by looking at a person whether they were a trained soldier or not. He had spent enough time around BLADEs to spot the signs.

A certain way they carried themselves, slight shifts in posture or weight, sometimes even as simple as the way they seemed to be in absolute control of their bodies, there were a myriad of signs that bespoke military background. The Wrothians in particular exemplified this, their entire race almost seemed to be composed of trained warriors.

Not so with Cross.

He never seemed to exhibit any of the properties veteran fighters like Elma or Nagi did, with their fluidity and grace. Cross's movements and mannerisms seemed lazy, almost sloppy in comparison.

If he hadn't known any better after all this time, he would just assume that Cross was nothing more than he appeared to be, a young, White-Hispanic man of slightly short stature that merely rode on the coattails of better operatives like Elma or Miss Koo.

Not more than two minutes ago, after almost a year of briefings and debriefings, he had finally come face-to-face with the other Cross.

He was terrifying.

If he understood Eleanora's explanation correctly, this was the persona Cross shifted into when under stress or in combat. There was a coldness to the man, almost reptilian in nature, as he had looked at the three of them. There had been no sense of warmth, recognition, or camaraderie in his voice or eyes, only an icy fire fueled by anger.

He felt a moment of pity for those who had, and would, come under that unrelenting gaze.

He glanced towards the other two and found them silently sitting. If it wasn't for Vandham agitatedly tapping his foot, he would say they were unmoved.

With a quiet sigh Nagi said, "We deserved worse than that."

Chausson gave a small snort.

"Speak for yourself Nagi, seeing him lose his temper was quite the punishment enough. That anger was…uncomfortable."

Vandham gave a small shake of his head.

"That's not the part I'm worried about. You see the look on his face as he left? He's putting on a brave front, but something rattled him. Badly. And I wouldn't worry too much about our comeuppance Nagi. Cross might get it, but I imagine quite a few of his friends are gonna let us know how they feel about what we did if he tells them. High, loud and repeatedly."

I'm not even really paying to where I'm going, just walking along aimlessly. Then again, if you don't have a destination in mind, are you really considered aimless if you just go wherever your feet take you?

I stop at a juncture between Armory Alley and the main landing pad and take a look around at the bustle of activity. Usually I like to take a look around and just watch people going about their business, discussing things they want to buy, things they actually should buy, the latest advancements in technology, griping about unfair missions, so on and so forth.

Right now it seems like there's a filter on my eyes and ears. I can see and hear all the movement around me, but I can't seem to make myself feel like a part of the city, I feel oddly detached, or separate.

I tamp down my feelings of frustration and anger and heave a sigh. I need to sort through my emotions, and I need to so where I won't be bothered. I look at the Ma-non ship and make a snap decision. I might as well visit my own special vacation home.

I step off of the teleporter and take a look around at my elevated view of the city and Primordia.

After I convinced May May that hoarding money was a waste of time and effort (ok so I may be a bit of a hypocrite), I asked for a bit of a favor. Using her money and technical ingenuity, she constructed a private teleporter that would lead directly to the surface of the Port side of the ship.

Easily the best favor I've ever called in.

No one knows about this place except May May and myself, and much like my journal, it's one of the very few things I consider private.

I sit down and take a moment to appreciate the breeze and air chill from being this high up, and gaze down at the city.

The city I was bred to defend, evidently.

I try not to feel bitter about that fact.

Which is why I'm up here really. Utterly alone I can take however long I want to go through my self-reflection exercises, maybe by doing so I'll finally be able to lay all my anxieties about my memories to rest.

Wouldn't that be something?

I sit in a Full Lotus position and slowly start to ease my breathing…

I guess being told that I was specifically designed to do nothing but fight and kill, all in the name of a Humanity I may or may not care about, caught me by surprise.

Just a bit though.

I mean, I had my suspicions all along. Sure, I joked about my past on Earth, and that I could have been anything from a Janitor who liked martial arts, to a CEO who had a penchant for vigilanteism (Batman style).

But there was one event that had cast the seeds of doubt in my mind. A few weeks after I had been retrieved I was searching for a mission with Elma and Lin when we had to tab through several pages of explanation about the task. Normally we would just read off of our own devices, but that day we had been looking at the big screen, with me at the controls.

I had tabbed through almost eight pages of text in just a few seconds, and Lin rolled her eyes, assuming I just hadn't cared about the details.

Elma wasn't so convinced and had asked me if I had really read through all the text, to which I obviously replied with an affirmative. After that she had me read through a few more assignments, and I realized that I read at an astonishingly faster pace than others, almost thirty five hundred words per minute.

Add that into the mix that was my combat and meditation skills, as well as my mysteriously missing past, and I began to privately wonder if there was some sort of deliberate reason I was kept in the dark about my background.

Fear of this hypothetical scenario was the main reason I never really sought any explanation for my missing memories.

Ignorance can be bliss.

Perhaps the most darkly amusing thing is that knowing this information doesn't really, well, change anything.

Knowing this won't change who I am, there's not some sinister purpose I now have to fulfill, and I sure as Hell don't feel betrayed, aside from my initial outburst.

Heck, overall this is a good thing. Now I don't have to worry about the potential scenario in which my amnesia strikes again. To begin with it wasn't really amnesia, more like selective hypnosis and brainwashing, if Vandham and everyone else's explanation is on the spot. Which means all those 'missing' memories might still be wandering around in my head, until the one day I find them again.

And as for the brainwashing, hypnosis and all that other indoctrinating junk?

Well, I don't think I really even care. Which sounds exactly like what a mind controlled slave would say, I know, but I honestly feel that way.

When I walk out into the wilds of Mira, I'm not doing it for some grand, overarching cause. I've said it before, and I'll say it again.

I'm doing this for the people that are there right alongside me, watching my back while I watch theirs. I put my life on the line because maybe one day, they'll be able to hang up sword and shield, and maybe find some measure of peace on this new world.

It's the only real thanks I can give them all for both accepting and helping me, when all I had was an empty head and a loaded gun.

I slowly open my eyes and breathe out slowly. I must have been sitting here for a couple hours at the least, since the sun is just now slowly drifting behind the horizon. I take a moment to look out across the landscape and can't help but feel a sense of awe at the sheer majesty of this planet, no matter how many times I travel across it. Making a snap decision, I kick out a leg and lean back on a slight protrusion in the ships hull, and decide to just enjoy myself for a moment.

Come to think of it, I can't remember the last time I just stopped to watch the time of day change, and how Mira seems to be just as alive as any other being that walks it's surface.

More alive really.

I'm not sure how much more time passes as I just watch the clouds and sun roll on by, and the occasional Levitath loop through the sky, but when my comm suddenly beeps an incoming call, the first hints of night are showing on the horizon.

I glance at the I.D. and quickly move to answer it when I see that it's Celica who's calling. I hit accept and a video feed shows up of Celica, Mia, Julun and Vi all crowded around the tiny camera. I can't help but snort at their surprisingly childlike appearance.

"What is this a family call? You look like a bunch of High Schoolers crowded together like that."

"Like you would know anything about High School Chief."

"Tell me I'm wrong though."

"Touché."

"So to what do I owe the honor of this call?"

"Well you said you had some sort of big meeting with the big wigs this morning, but then you never even called us once, and now it's practically nighttime! We thought they might have give you some super secret mission or something that you didn't invite us along for."

"Oh like you're one to grouse about that. If memory serves didn't you keep trying to play the secrecy game when Sakuraba hired you to go undercover?"

I hear Vi speak up with utter disbelief in his voice.

"You? An undercover agent? I feel like this must be a joke."

"Hey what the heck are you implying Vi?! I can do spy stuff just fine!"

I hear Julun speak up with, "I am with Wrothian on this. You lack subtlety necessary for secret missions."

"But I totally did one already!"

Their heads pull back out of the picture and I hear Mia practically on the verge of tears trying to convince Vi and Julun of her mission, while they're having none of it.

I can't help but snicker at Mia's plight and turn my attention to Celica, where I lose my smirk rather quickly. She's staring at me with the same concerned look she had the day before, and it never ceases to hurt my heart when she does, as sappy as that sounds.

"I wish you would turn that frown upside down, you're far more beautiful when you smile."

There's a slight hint of a blush on her cheeks but she archly responds, "Oh? Then perhaps you could give me something to smile about? You still seem distant Cross."

I sag a little as she nails the matter right on the head.

"Yah, I know. And sorry for not giving any of you a heads up after the meeting, I was…distracted."

She patiently waits for me to fess up.

"They told me about my past actually. All of it."

Her eyes light up as she hears this.

"They did?! They finally found information about you?!"

I hear the other three stop arguing in the background.

"Wait, what was that? What did he say?!"

Suddenly there's four faces crowded into the frame, all talking at once.

I can't help but smile at their reactions, and try to calm them down by saying, "Guys, relax! One at a time alright?"

Vi talks first, "So is your memory loss going to be a recurring problem? Or is that not an issue?"

He must still have what I said to him yesterday about a possible recurrence of my amnesia fresh in his mind. Sheesh, what a worrywart.

"Actually, it's pretty much a non-issue at this point, so that's some majorly good news I'd say."

He gives a bark of laughter and gives me a wink in Celica's direction.

Ok ok, I can take the hint.

"Well Chief? What were you in your past life? Can you tell us?"

And with that I go silent. I don't think for a second that they would be disgusted or put off by my past, in fact they would probably be royally pissed at Vandham and Nagi, but I still don't feel all that comfortable talking about what was done to me. It still feels like something I want to keep private for now.

"Yah, I can tell you. But, well…just not now. It's still kind of personal and muddled up. Can you give me some more time to, well, sort things out? It's kinda a long story."

"Oh shoot, my bad Chief, didn't mean to pressure you into it. Heck yah, just tell us whenever you're ready too."

The other three all nod in agreement, and I breathe a quiet sigh of thanks.

"Well since I no longer have to worry about losing what I already have, how about we meet up somewhere for dinner and make this a night to remember? You all game?"

They all share a glance, and Celica hesitantly says, "Actually, Cross, the four of us already agreed to go on a mission tonight, so we'll have to decline."

I try not to let the hurt and shock show on my face before saying, "Oh, that's fine, maybe we'll meet up tomorrow or something then."

There's an awkward silence until Mia breaks first and starts laughing hysterically, and not too shortly afterwards the other three start cracking up as well.

I growl as I figure out what they were doing.

"That was not funny yah bunch of jackasses."

Mia manages to strangle out, "Except it totally was Chief! Whew, holy crap my sides hurt…we'll meet you at Army Pizza then, catch you there!"

Celica gives me a radiant smile before hanging up that almost makes me want to forget about seeking revenge.

Almost.

I stand and stretch, taking one last look at Talon Rock's monolithic presence in the dwindling daylight. A phrase that's been stuck in my head since I first awoke on Mira rises unbidden to the surface, and I can't help but smile. Now that I know the details of my past, it seems more fitting than ever.

With a small smile on my lips I quietly whisper, "no se es de donde se nace, sino de donde se pace." before turning around and walking away.

With a yawn I walk into the Barracks and give a self-satisfied smile, idly rubbing my cheek.

Celica had placed a gentle kiss on it before telling me to feel better by the next day or she would have Rock swallow me whole. I can't help but remember what Vi said about how I was basically being a fool by letting this opportunity slip by me uncontested, and quite frankly I agree with him.

My mind made up, I decide to ask Celica out on a date as soon as I can make some sort of memorable event out of it. She and Rock like to peruse Ruby Flower Co. on their days off, so I think a flower of some kind would be a nice gift. Or are you supposed to offer a gift after you've started dating the person?

Oh whatever, who cares? We're two strangers in a strange land (Thank you Mr. Heinlein), so I say anything goes. So about the flower, some kind of flower native to Mira, one that's not easy to find but also beautiful and brightly colored…

Sorta like Celica herself.

Ok that was cute to an almost disgusting degree.

Hmmm…I think a Hibiscus of some variety or another will do the trick. Gonna be kinda hard to go and get one myself though, and they only really grow around Noctilum's Divine Roost.

Good thing I have friends in that area. Placing a call I wait for it to pickup.

"Hello Friend, this is Tatsu, Nopon diplomat to Dodonga Caravan speaking."

"Long time no see Mr. Potato Head!"

"Tatsu see little resemblance between fictional character and handsome Nopon Liaison, now what does friend Cross want?"

"Knew it was me huh?"

"Only Linlee and Cross speak to Tatsu so. And Cross not sound like Linlee."

"Glad to hear that, anyway I need a favor from you bud. One that will pay quite well, give you an excuse to come back to NLA, and is right up the alley for any self-respecting Nopon merchant."

"…Friend has Tatsu's attention."

I grin. Hook line and sinker. It always feels good to out-con the conman.

"Hey Cross, what's got you grinning like a madman?"

I startle at the voice and see Elma behind my right shoulder.

"Don't scare me like that Elma. And I was smiling because I love it when a plan comes together."

"Care to share the details?"

"Sorry, it's a secret."

"Well if you say so."

There's a strange awkward silence that follows and I frown.

"Elma, is something the ma-"

"Vandham and the rest told me you learned about your…your past this morning."

I'm silent for a moment as I take a closer look at Elma's face. I've been around her long enough to know when she's putting on a brave face, and this is definitely one of those times. There's a certain rigidity to her posture, and a slight tightness to the way she has her arms crossed.

"And? Did you know about what I was the whole time I was on your squad? Or was that part of the reason I made it on there in the first place?"

She doesn't quite manage to hide the obvious pain and hurt on her face at my words.

"I actually didn't know at first. It wasn't until about a week after I took you in that they informed me."

I give a relieved smile.

"Well I'm just glad you picked me because of my naturally amazing talent then."

She looks confused and I lightly punch her on the arm, grinning.

"C'mon Elma, you don't think I'm actually upset with you, do you? We've spent a year and change tackling this planet one disaster at a time, and it's gonna take a lot more than some harmlessly kept secret to break that connection up."

She shakes her head and heavily sighs.

"How can you so easily forgive me? Or any other of the people who kept this from you for so long?"

I can't help but roll my eyes.

"For Christ's sake Elma you're gonna make me feel like I should actually be upset about this or something."

"And you're saying your not?"

"Not really, no."

I get a blank stare from her.

"Look, it's not too easy to explain why I feel that way, but it's the truth. Given the opportunity to redo my life, I would change very little. And yes, thats exactly what a good little mind slave would say, but that doesn't alter how I actually feel. Oh for crying out loud, ok look, put bluntly I like the people around me. There I said it."

She gives me a blank stare before pulling me into a hug that crushes the air out of my lungs.

"I'm lucky to have met you Cross. All of us are."

I feel my eyes bug out and stammer, "Er, uh, Elma? Colonel? You're kinda worrying me here. And I thought you had a thing for Doug."

She let's me go and then smirks.

'Don't flatter yourself. Besides Doug is way more handsome than you are."

I can't help the playful smile that springs across my face.

"Ever so hurtful Elma, what does that say about Celica's taste?"

She brightens as I mention this.

"Finally going to ask her out? About time if you don't mind me saying so."

"Well without spoiling too much of the surprise, I have a mutual friend of ours picking up something very special for the occasion."

"Ooh, romantic. Not something I would have expected from you."

"I thought you of all people would appreciate just how full of surprises I can be."

"Well I won't deny you have a certain randomness to you." She replies rather dryly.

"Besides, you've got no business making fun of me, you and Doug haven't even tried to have a little heart-to-heart have you?"

I guess her species can blush, as a strange blue tint rises to her cheeks as she firmly replies, "And now I think we're putting an end to this conversation."

"Spoilsport."

We both share a laugh that Elma breaks by simply smiling and says, "I'm glad you're back to being yourself Cross. Vandham said you had actually shouted at them…pretty bold move there."

"One they didn't really deserve but…I'll be the first to admit it was cathartic in its own way."

"Well enough of the serious stuff, what movie did we have on hold since last time?"

"Ender's Game. Eleanor hinted that I might find it relatable. Now knowing what I know, I'll admit to being quite curious."

"You and me both."

Author's Notes: Well this chapter came out quite a bit earlier than I had planned for, but them's the breaks.

So far I've been trying to stick to a weekly release schedule, plus or minus a few days, but with Summer rolling around and all that entails I'm making a few adjustments to when the chapters will be released from now on. In between Summer Classes, visiting family and just straight up leaving the State for all sorts of different reasons (Starts with a 'W' and ends with a, 'edding'), I'll likely start releasing chapters bi-weekly.

And just like all self-imposed deadlines, they'll likely change due to unforeseen circumstances such as tests, hanging out with friends, expired milk and all sorts of other planetary buggery.

Well I think that just about sums it up.

Major thanks to all the people that have stuck around to read my work to this point, my desperate craving for acknowledgment and validation is greatly appeased by slowly seeing that view count increase.

Self-deprecating aside, feel free to leave a review or just simple thoughts about my work so far. If there's one thing we all know about the internet, it's that people are gonna let you know what they think regardless of whether you want to hear it or not.

So go wild :D