Author's Note: Here is the next chapter and I hope you continue to enjoy. Please write a review and forgive any mistakes. Thanks Anna.
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any of its characters.
I Knew You Were Waiting for Me-Part II
Chapter 7
Sam shut the door and locked it. He held on to the door knob and lowered his head for a few moments collecting his thoughts and preparing himself for what he feared the most in this world- the look of a disappointed Mercedes- yet again; he pursed his lips together, but that still did not prevent his bottom lip from quivering some as he took a deep breath and began to turn around and to look into the disappointed eyes of the only woman he had ever truly loved.
Mercedes was now standing right behind him "How did he not even hear her move?" was his initial thought but that faded quickly as she began to speak. Sam's body was still slightly vibrating as he tried to contain the anger, fear, and distress he was feeling but it was the sadness that was the most overwhelming; he looked at the disbelief in her eyes and quickly lowered his eyes from hers. "Sam there is no way in the world that I can wrap my mind around what you have said here tonight. So I am begging you (Her voice was breaking as she spoke, her tone was changing due to the stress of her vocal chords, overuse, and her crying which had been beginning) because I desperately need to understand-why or how you could've been arrested for something like that."
"I wish more than anything that I had told you about this before but...can you please just forgive me?" Sam's eyes were pleading as he looked into hers; and his eyes broke her heart. "Sam, forgive what? What were you doing? When did this even happen? And stop dodging my question I want to know why?" She was angry but she was worried more. "Do you have some kind of Cocaine addiction or something? She questioned. "NO!" Sam responded immediately. "THEN, WHAT? DID YOU NEED MONEY THAT BADLY? WHY DIDN'T YOU COME TO ME INSTEAD? YOU COULD'VE ASKED ME FOR ANYTHING!" She shouted as she turned around and walked away from him. Her last question and statement made Sam double over in pain from his gut. He grabbed on to the front of his thighs and bend over attempting to catch his breath. This was so overwhelming for him and he never imagined ever having to have this conversation with her. "But this..." She couldn't continue to speak-her crying had already taken over.
"I DIDN'T TELL YOU BECAUSE OF THIS VERY MOMENT!" He started yelling. "I WORKED SO HARD MERCEDES, FOR YEARS, TO BE THE TYPE OF MAN THAT YOU WOULD ALLOW YOURSELF TO FULLY LOVE; SOMEONE WHO YOU COULD TAKE SERIOUSLY- ALL THESE YEARS. EVERY MOVE AND EVERY CHOICE WAS SO THAT I WOULD BE A BETTER MAN FOR YOU; AND NOW, AFTER ALL THESE YEARS; TO HAVE YOU STAND HERE, AND HAVE YOU LOOK AT ME THE WAY THAT YOU ARE DOING?! TO HAVE YOU ASK ME IF I WAS STILL-SO IRRESPONSIBLE, AFTER ALL THIS TIME. TO HAVE YOU THINK THAT I WOULD WILLINGLY SELL DRUGS TO MINORS?" THAT I WAS SOME KIND OF COKEHEAD OR, THAT I WAS SO BROKE THAT I PROBABLY NEEDED A HANDOUT FROM YOU! Sam's shouting of regret overflowed from his very soul on to the floor and consumed Mercedes in it as his sobbing began.
"THEN WHY!" She screamed. Sam cupped his face in his hands and began wiping away his tears. "It's not what you think it is!" He spoke filled with disappointment in her that she had doubted in him. "Oh REALLY, how do you know what I think it is? Why won't you tell me what to think, then?" She questioned again as she stood at the far reaches of the room from him. "Why can't you just believe in me that it was a mistake." Sam's voice hardened yet sounded wearied at the same time. "Was it a mistake?" She asked her tone taking on an equal level of frost. "YES!" He answered. "A mistake that you made or a mistake as it was perceived?" Sam stared at her for a few minutes reading her facial expression.
Sam huffed in frustration. "Why don't you just say it Mercedes?" Sam spoke as he sat down on his sofa completely broken. "SAY WHAT?" She shouted, throwing her hands wide apart, her own frustration bubbling over. "Why don't you just say it? You're going to use this as an excuse to run away from me again. You might as well say it-that you no longer want to marry me." "What?" Mercedes responded. Sam let out of sigh, and slightly & slowly shook his head from side to side. "You always find a reason to walk away from me. You never allow me to be your happy ending. I have always only been your plan B-well, now that your plan B has proven himself, again, to be a great disappointment to you; you have your chance-you're gonna leave and this time never look back, right?" Sam covered his face with his hand and waited for the shoe to inevitably drop.
Mercedes couldn't believe what Sam had just said. "Did he always feel this way? Plan B?" She wanted to speak but nothing would come out-the words wouldn't flow. She performed a series of swallows and then she attempted again. Although, she could not tell if it was her vocal chords, or fear that had prevented her speaking, fear that Sam may have truly doubted her love for him all this time. "How long had he allowed those thoughts to fester and grow? Why was he still attempting to wait for her if he felt this way?" She thought. Mercedes summoned up everything within her to speak again "Plan B? Why would you think that?" She asked. "Because, it's true; let's face it Mercedes. I've always loved you more than you have loved me. He said sadly. Hundreds of thousands of people endure long distance relationships for the people they truly love but you would never hear of it. You always come up with some excuse for us not to be together, and now I have just given you another big, fat, juicy excuse." Sam spoke dejectedly.
"Sam you couldn't have believed that, not really?" Her voice hoarsened to almost a whisper as she took a step closer to the sofa. "Oh really, you want to know how much I thought it? I'll give you another excuse right now to leave me. I thought it so much that I was happy when you told me that you thought your career was over due to the problems you were having with your throat. I thought finally the biggest excuse you had-your overwhelming talent, which you had to share with the world, was now finally gone; and for once, just once, we could finally be us; just us." Sam confessed. "Sam..." Mercedes was devastated. The wave of sadness that came over Mercedes as Sam spoke could only be considered as a Tsunami in comparison to magnitude. She listened intently and her tears flowed, as she moved closer and sat down next to him.
"DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW HARD IT HAS BEEN FOR ME ALL THESE YEARS TO LOVE YOU, AND YOUR TALENT... (He took and held onto her hand) TO KNOW THAT IT WAS A GIFT FROM GOD AND THAT YOU SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO SHARE IT WITH THE REST OF THE WORLD; IT WAS YOUR DUTY, YOUR BIRTHRIGHT, AND I WAS SO PROUD OF YOU... (His tears started again and he paused and he let go of her hand and stood up walked away from her but turned around to face her) BUT SECRETLY; HATE AND RESENT IT TOO-BECAUSE IT WAS THE ONE THING KEEPING US APART ALL THIS TIME. WHAT ABOUT HOW I HATED AND RESENTED MYSELF FOR FEELING THIS WAY ABOUT IT? HOW OFTEN I PRAYED TO, AND RESENTED, GOD FOR GIVING IT TO YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE; ESPECIALLY IF IT MEANT THAT WE WOULD HAVE TO BE APART FOR YOU TO UTILIZE IT? NOW, CONSIDER THE FACT THAT I HAD TO PRAY TO THAT SAME GOD EVERYNIGHT SO THAT HE WOULD ALLOW ME THE PATIENCE, WHICH I NEEDED, TO WAIT-DESPITE THE FACT THAT I'M GETTING OLDER, AND OLDER; DESPITE THE FACT THAT I'M FEELING MORE AND MORE ALONE WITHOUT YOU. YOU NEVER EVEN ONCE ASKED ME- HOW WAS I ABLE TO LIVE, WITH THE BURDEN OF, BEING THE MAN WHO WAS IN LOVE WITH YOU? DID YOU EVER CONSIDER THE FACT THAT FOR THE LAST 13 OR SO YEARS OF OUR LIVES; I'VE HAD TO LIVE MY ENTIRE LIFE ON THE SMALLEST OF MORSELS; OFF OF THE BREAD CRUMBS OF YOUR TIME AND ATTENTION? AND HOW I HAD TO LEARN HOW TO BE SATISFIED WITH THAT! HOW LONG I HAD TO WORK ON CHANGING MY WAY OF THINKING- RATHER THAN HATE MYSELF FOR LOVING YOU SO MUCH, THAT I LAPPED IT UP LIKE A DOG UNDERNEATH YOUR DINING ROOM TABLE?
Sam spoke using a tone, which portrayed that he seemed even to have been disgusted with himself.
BUT, I DID IT- ALL; BECAUSE YOU HAVE MEANT THE WORLD TO ME; BUT THE PROBLEM IS... (He stood there and pointed his finger at her) THAT I ONLY REPRESENT A SMALL PIECE OF YOUR WORLD TO YOU." Sam had now said it all; although, the shattered fragments of his soul were now exposed, and raw.
She watched the man she loved, with all her being, doubt her love for him, and to realize—only now-the suffering she had caused him because of her pride and selfishness; she was distraught.
Sam spoke again. "I have never answered your question Mercedes on how or why this happened. I would tell you but it really isn't only my story to tell, and as hard as it is to fathom right now, even more irreversible damage, could happen from me explaining it all to you. I would have loved it though (his face reddened again) if you would have trusted in me enough to know that-you shouldn't have been worried. It really wasn't what it seemed."
Sam then left the living room and walked into his bedroom and pulling out clothes from his dresser and closet he began tossing them onto the bed. He grabbed a duffle bag from the top shelf of his closet and started speaking again as he placed the hodgepodge of clothing hurriedly into the duffle. "You can stay as long as you'd like-I'll get a hotel room while you are here."
Mercedes felt nothing at all and yet she felt everything. "Sam, if you think that I am going to let you leave without saying what I have to say you are crazy." Her voice losing its strength every minute, she went a picked up her purse rummaged through it until she found the prescribed anti-biotic spray and sprayed her throat a few times. Sam chuckled as he continued packing "You know the irony is that I used to love it when you would say that to me." He snickered again. "Oh, yeah, that's right-you didn't officially tell me that it's over." Sam said pessimistically. "You're right I haven't." She stated abruptly.
Sam turned and looked at her expecting the worst but at this point becoming, heartbreakingly, resigned to it. "You are not leaving...no, not without me... (She paused) not without me... (She paused again). "Not without you what Mercedes?" Sam questioned in a downtrodden tone. "You are not leaving- not without me." Mercedes said. "What?" Sam questioned her meaning. "You are not leaving without us going someplace and getting married right now, tonight." Sam's forehead crinkled as he tried to understand what it is that she could have been saying because it made absolutely no sense to him at this moment.
Mercedes walked over to Sam and hugged him as tightly as she could. "I am so sorry Sam that you would have ever felt that way. It's not true you were never my plan B. I was foolish to think that if we were together and I had my career that it would put so much distance between us that our marriage may not have survived it; but it was a ridiculous thing to think. My love hasn't disappeared in all these years and I doubt highly that it ever will. I want us to get married tonight, I want us to go somewhere and spend the night together. I just want to hold you in my arms and let you know that you don't ever have to worry; that I will always be by your side; that I will always trust in you and put you first; that you don't have to fight the hard stuff alone anymore; that there will never be anything that you can tell me that I can't stand by you through. I was just upset that you felt that you had to hide it from me. I love you Sam. I don't want you to go through anything and feel that you can't share your hurts, your fears, your hopes, your dreams with me. I know that when you want to, or can tell me what happened -you will but; I want you to know that, I know you, and I know whatever reason that you were arrested-I know that they got it all wrong, and you had a reason for what you were doing. Sam you have proven yourself over and over again- to me; now I want the rest of my life to be spent proving my love for you. I want you to be my husband; you are my choice-and it is the best choice that I will have ever made in my entire lifetime. I need you to understand, and believe that you mean the world to me too. I don't ever want you to doubt that fact again." She squeezed him even tighter.
Sam couldn't believe what he had just heard, he felt that maybe it was just his wishful thinking that could have changed this whole thing around but Mercedes then stood up on her tippy toes and kissed him. Sam completely crumbled into her arms out of gratitude he cried profusely, as did she, and they held onto each other for dear life.
"I thought you wanted a big wedding with all of our family there." Sam spoke in between kissing her all along her forehead as he held her face in his hands. Then when he had finished kissing her he continued to cling to her. "Sam, we deserve this, just you and me I don't want to wait for anyone or anything anymore. We can get married again and invite them later but this we need for us. There is no law saying that we can't get married twice right? So, let's go to Las Vegas on the first flight out, okay?" Mercedes said. "I want the rest of my life to start tonight with you." Mercedes said. "Will it be alright if I invite two other people to come to our wedding?" Sam asked feeling guilty for how he spoke to Rick this evening. "Of course I don't mind. I'd think that he would like that very much." Mercedes said. "He's a good kid and he means well." Sam kissed Mercedes again out of pure happiness. "I'll call him." Sam said. "I'll get packing." Mercedes smiled as she started to walk away from Sam but Sam stopped her and pulled her back to walk with him to his night stand. Sam pulled out a small box and opened it up and pulled out a Marquis Diamond ring on a white gold band and presented it to Mercedes. "Sam...I thought Rick said..." Mercedes started. "He didn't know but once I got the job at Ohio State I was able to put away enough for me to buy another one. I'd like to do this right please." Sam took the ring out of the box and got down on one knee right in front of Mercedes took her hand in his and asked. "Mercedes Jones would give me the profound honor, and the everlasting joy of your becoming my wife?" Sam asked. "Sam if I answered yes 10,000 times it would still not properly express the weight of the answer yes that I am giving you right now-YES, I would love to marry you." Mercedes responded by allowing Sam to place the ring on her finger, by bending over, and kissing him again.
Then there came a furious knocking on the door.
XXXXX
Crystal helped Rick get into his car and started to drive back to his place. She was still so worried about how he had taken this evening's events. "Do you need anything else?" Crystal asked. Rick just reached out his hand and held onto hers. "I need you to take me back to Esse's place." Crystal looked concerned. "I don't know if that is a good idea Rick-he seemed—um..." "I know but I have to tell the truth to Mercedes and to you. I can't have people thinking bad things about Esse-it's not right." Rick said. "But he said that if you ... I don't want you to lose this relationship that is obviously important to you." She warned. "Crystal, if he loses Mercedes over this then I've already lost him anyway-and I wouldn't blame him; please Teddy take me back right now." Rick pleaded.
Crystal knew how important this was to Rick and she hoped and prayed that this was not a mistake as she turned on her left turn signal and headed down the road on their way back to Esse's place.
XXXXX
The furious knocking continued.
Sam got up from his knee, flustered, red faced, traces of tears, but happy. He quickly moved towards his front door with Mercedes following behind him to see what the urgency was. Sam swung open his door to find an inebriated Rick barreling through his door with Crystal a close second whispering "I'm sorry" as she entered. "Look, Mercedes and Crystal I want you two to hear me out; alright? Tonight was a disaster, and it was entirely my fault, and I am here to take the blame for it, all of it. He said. "Rick..." Sam began. "NO ESSE...I'm going to tell it and what happens-happens." Rick shut Sam down immediately. Sam looked over at Mercedes. "When I was seventeen years old and McKinley was three days away from the Ohio State Scout coming to see our game; I allowed some idiots into talking me into taking Cocaine to enhance my game and to 'Strengthen my shot.'" Sam glanced over at Crystal to see how she would respond and then he turned his gaze again to Mercedes. "I never actually took the drugs; but I was with Esse and I placed the three packets in the armrest of his car while we were driving to his place-he didn't know." Rick looked pleadingly at Mercedes. "A police officer pulled us over for Sam's broken taillight, I panicked, and then the cop got suspicious, searched the car and found the drugs."
Rick collapsed onto the sofa once the burden from his shoulders had been lifted. Then he looked over at Crystal but faced Mercedes again. "Ms. Jones, Esse has been in love with you since forever and I hope you realize that he is a good man, a great Coach, and an even better friend. He was arrested that night and I was taken to child services until my mother came back into town the next day. When I got out I went to visit Esse but his lawyer was with him." Sam suddenly looked at Rick in shock. "You were there?" Sam asked Rick. Rick just slowly nodded his head. "Rick..." Sam spoke again. "You didn't know but I heard him and you, Esse. I heard you tell him to take your ring out of your personal affects and pawn it for your bail money-and I know how much that hurt you. I heard him say that you should take the five year probation, but that you would have to stay away from minors from now on during your probationary period, and that you would have to give a show of good faith; you would have to give up your job as a high school Coach." Rick began to tear up and so did Sam while reliving this terrible memory. Sam tried to turn his face away as he turned around and walked toward one of the walls in his living room.
"His lawyer advised him to plead 'No contest' and 'to just accept the five year probation.' He took the punishment for me and never told anyone." Rick then looked over at Sam. "I couldn't see Esse again for another three months, until I turned 18 years old. I went straight to his place the morning of my birthday, I had missed him so much, by that time I had-had Chris as my agent and I came to Esse with good news-that Ohio State was offering him a job." Sam turned around from the wall and faced Rick again. "That is why you had me come with you?" Sam asked. "I knew that you couldn't work at another high school, especially not with your record-a record that you didn't deserve and that you had because of me." Rick said sadly.
At this point Crystal was tearing up herself and sat down next to Rick and held onto his fidgeting hand. "Ms. Jones, When I went by his house that day Esse didn't even allow me to apologize, he didn't even let me explain, he just said that he knew me well enough to know that I had made a mistake. He told me that he was willing to take the hit so that I could still have a chance at a great future. He didn't want me to lose my opportunity over one stupid mistake in judgement. If it weren't for Esse, Ms. Jones, I wouldn't be here; I would probably be in and out of the prison system by now and a major disappointment to my mom and him. I can never repay him for what he did for me that day-and it cost him so much-and he has never asked for anything in return. He promised me that day that he would never speak about it again-and Esse is always – A Man of His Word" Rick looked back over at Sam. "I know that I am risking my relationship with Esse by coming back here but, it is a relationship that I don't deserve, please Ms. Jones don't let my mistake cost Esse you-I would never be able to live with that; don't make me be the source of anymore pain in his life." Rick concluded. Mercedes walked to the sofa and kissed Rick on his tear stained cheek. "Thank you for telling me." She said. Then Crystal cozied up into Rick's arms and tried to comfort him.
"Sam, don't you have something to say to Rick and Crystal?" Mercedes said as she walked over to Sam and wrapped her arms around him. "Mercedes and I are going to Las Vegas to get married tonight...we wanted you two to come with us because you're our best man and made of honor-I'm about to Soar!" Sam said as he let go of Mercedes and flapped his arms up and down three times , made his arms taught and swooped down on to Rick, still sitting on the sofa, and gave him a big hug. Rick and Crystal jumped up in happiness and the whole room began laughing and hugging each other.
Author's note: Please review.