Into the Grey
The patterned carpet in the private waiting room was a welcomed distraction. It gave Erin something to focus on as she paced back and forth across the floor. The minutes seemed to be dragging on and on. She didn't know how much more she could possibly take. A few members of Grant's staff and some politicians had been to check on her but she had politely declined their offers of coffee and sweets.
"Chief Strauss?" Erin looked up to see one of her younger agents standing before her. Not only did he work at the bureau but he often moonlighted for the Collins when a security detail was needed. "I brought you some Iced Tea. I know it calms your stomach. And not to worry it's decaffeinated."
She accepted his offering. "Thank you, Hayden."
He couldn't help but notice the cuts on her face. The blood on her dress. "Were you injured?"
"Superficially."
"The baby?"
"Baby's fine." she told him. "I had an ultrasound a few hours ago."
"That's good."
She took a sip of the drink. The perfect amount of sweetness. "Who's going to supply my tea needs when you move on?"
Hayden shrugged. "I'm comfortable where I am." he told her. "I like working for you."
"You're a good agent you don't need to be stuck behind a desk like me." she told him. "You have a lot more to offer the FBI."
"I appreciate that, ma'am."
Erin smiled. "Thanks for coming." she told him. "Everyone's been hovering over me, treating me like glass."
"They're concerned."
She nodded her agreement. "This isn't how I expected the night to turn out." she told him through tears. "And it doesn't look good."
"We have to keep the faith, right?"
"Right."
"Would you like me to look in on your children?"
"Could you?" she asked. "I would feel a lot better knowing that you were on the property."
"Of course, ma'am." he told her. "Whatever you need."
/
Erin made her way over to the hospital bed, ever so careful not to disturb any of the cords and tubes connected to her husband. Surgery had went surprisingly well. He was labeled critical stable. A bullshit term if you asked Erin. But he was breathing on his own which was a very good sign.
She pulled the chair closer to the bed and sat down next to him. "I don't know if you can hear me, but I need you to fight, Grant." both of her hands encompassed his. "I can't lose you like this."
A small smile played on his lips. "Life never goes how we planned it, love."
Fresh tears sprung forth in her eyes. "Grant." she whispered. "You're going to be okay."
"You know what I love most about you, well one of things?" his voice was low and weak. "Your unwavering faith in me."
"Someone had to be the backbone for all those elections."
Grant smiled fleetingly. "That's my girl." he replied. "Forever my optimist."
"You don't always appreciate that about me."
"Because sometimes you have to be realistic." he told her. "And now is one of those times, love."
Erin took a deep breath, forcing the tears to stay at bay. "I'm not giving up on you."
"I'm not asking you to." he told her. "Are you hurt?." he looked her over the best he could. "Is the baby okay?"
She nodded. "We're fine."
"Where are the children?"
"With your mother." she told him. "I wouldn't let them come."
"I don't want them here. I don't want them to see me like this."
"They love you."
"And I love them." he told her. "This is no place for them. I don't want this to be the way they remember me."
"Remember you?" she questioned him. "You're wake and lucid, everything is going as planned." hot tears started rolling down her cheeks. "You're going to recover."
"I'm so glad you're okay." he said. "And the baby."
"Because you protected us." she said. "You always protect me, even if you get hurt in the process."
"I would do it again in a heartbeat." his words were honest and full of love. "Despite everything that's happened between us in the past twenty years I wouldn't change a thing. I love you."
Erin pressed a kiss to his hand. "I love you, too."
/
The world had stopped. All the air had left her lungs and she was slowly drowning inside her own head. Twenty minutes ago she and Grant were talking. Everything was looking so good. And then his speech started to slur. His vitals plummeted and he coded right before her eyes.
"I'm so sorry Mrs. Collins." the tall, lean, older doctor repeated. "There was blood clot that went to his brain. It caused a massive stroke. He went very quick and wasn't in any pain."
All she could do was nod. His words echoing in her head like a skipping record. And yet she still seemed to be holding her breath. Aaron immediately reached out for her, pulling her into him as sobs overtook her.
"Just breathe." he instructed her. "Just keep breathing."
It was all she could do to draw in a breath and then release it. Time seemed to have stopped. The man she had loved for the past twenty years no longer existed. She was left without her best friend, her children without their father. She didn't know how she could face them. How she could face any of it.
"Grant was an organ donor." she finally said. "If anything is viable..."
"Yes, ma'am." the doctor said. "You'll have to sign some forms."
/
The proper forms had been signed. Her husband's organs had been harvested. Now he was just an empty shell in the morgue. All the life from a loving, caring, brilliant, man was gone. Over. Just like that.
David shrugged his tuxedo jacket off and draped it around her shoulders. She looked up at him. Her eyes red and puffy, heavy eye makeup almost completely gone. "Thank you."
He knelt down in front of her. "I'm so sorry, Erin."
"Yeah, me too."
He retrieved a handkerchief from his pocket and dabbed at her cheeks. "Grant was a good man." he told her. "Something rare to find in a politician. If there's anything I can do for you, anything at all, just say the words."
"I want to get out of here." she told him. "Where's Aaron?"
"He's finishing up with the press." he replied. "Kurt couldn't...Aaron stepped in and volunteered." he said, referring to the congressman's press agent. "You want to go home?"
"No." she breathed out. "I can't go home to my children. Not like this, not covered in their father's blood."
He nodded in understanding. "When Aaron's done I can drive you to my house and you can get showered and changed."
/
The ride to David's was a somber one. Not even the slight humming of the car radio broke the silence. Instead it was like a sad orchestra narrating the events of the night. He led them inside through the garage entrance. "My bedroom is straight up the stairs to the left." he said. "Help yourself to anything you need. I'll see if I can find something for you to wear."
Erin simply nodded her appreciation. "Come with me?" she asked Hotchner.
"Of course." Aaron replied. He and Dave exchanged a questioning glance with him that Aaron quickly down played as he followed her up the stairs. He closed the bedroom door behind them. "I'll turn the shower on for you." he said, heading for the bathroom.
Erin caught sight of herself in a fill length mirror, her hand automatically drawn to the blood on her dress. It felt as though it was the only thing she had left of her husband.
"Erin?" he called out. "Need any help?"
She looked from the mirror to the bathroom. Grant had said those words to her when she was getting ready for the evening. "Could you zip me up?" the words tumbled out in a low whisper as though she was reliving the event.
Aaron came out of the bathroom. "Erin?"
She moved toward him. "Can you unzip me?"
He unzipped the back of her dress. "I didn't know how warm you wanted the water." he told her. "Do you need anything else?"
"No." she replied. "Thank you."
"I'll be downstairs if you need anything." he told her. "Just take your time."
/
David was making himself a drink when Aaron came into the livingroom. "I found a pair of silk pajamas." he motioned over to the back of the sofa. "She doing okay?"
"Considering." he replied. "I think she's still in shock."
"Drink?" he offered.
"No thanks."
David sat down in the leather arm chair. "Can I ask you a question?"
Aaron shrugged. "Sure."
"What the hell is going on between the two of you?"
tbc...
The feedback is very appreciated! And encouraged. I know it's a cliche story but sometimes I like cliche.