I'm mad, but what's to be done but get on with it now? I've resorted to childhood gameshows to work through the leftover saltiness.

THE POST-FUCKING-BREXIT 2016 EDITION

By England.

131. Scotland cannot leave with my blessing.

132. "I didn't think it would actually happen," is a symptom of my apathetic/anti-establishment voters, what have I done to fix that lately?

133. The "nice bananas" will not be the first thing to go.

134. I don't get to submit all the Members of Parliament onto 'Jungle Run' choose a Prime Minister from the ones who get the Golden Monkey Statue.

135. I don't get to submit all my Members of Parliament to 'Raven: Way of the Warrior', and choose from the ones who are left standing at the end. Even if this and the previous would cut down intra-party conflict.

136. No politicians will be put on 'Get Your Own Back', no matter how satisfying seeing any one of them covered in gunge would be.

137. Red spray-on hair dye is for Red Nose Day only.

138. There are no petitions to have the referendum again through the format of both campaigns going head to head on '50/50' or otherwise beating each other with inflatable weapons. That there should be, doesn't mean that there is.

139. I cannot submit any other Nations to any of the aforementioned shows without prior agreement and notification.

140. I cannot submit the formats of any of the previous shows as solutions for anyone else's political troubles.

141. "At least my politicians aren't corrupt" is one: very likely a fucking lie; and two: results in Spain trying to shove a tomato up my right nostril.

142. I will cease to try and throw about the shit I'm already stirring.

143. The way the Labour party chooses their party leader is not "Who the fuck knows?"

144. Experimenting to see which regional accents 'pull' better shall be kept to my leisure time.

145. Kilts, football shirts and socks with sandals do not belong in an ensemble.

146. The terms they use in Private Eye can be kept to my written notes and aides memoires, as long as I don't say them out loud.

147. I will not encourage tourists to antagonise the Buckingham Palace guards. I will especially not do so with units fresh from a tour of duty.

148. In no way is a picture of Michael Gove's face a talisman against evil.

149. My debt cannot be cleared through engineering clips to send into You've Been Framed in order to collect the £250 many times over.

150. Italy does not need to be greeted with a rousing verse of "Just one Cornettoooo...".

151. "Fuck off, grasshopper" is rarely an appropriate interjection.

152. Keith Lemon does not write my speeches.

153. My opinions on the Greek Eurovision entries over the years are not wanted.

154. The only way isn't Essex.

155. I will bear in mind that while 'TO LET' and 'TOILET' look similar while drunk, they are not interchangeable.

156. I didn't 'turn my government off and on again'. That's not remotely what I just did. I can't recommend it to America.

157. I did not 'turn the Labour party off and on again, and it didn't work how I wanted'. While we're on the subject, Corbyn didn't have a referendum with himself and decided to stay.

158. Ed Milliband is not the third Chuckle Brother, even if they ask nicely.

159. Prince George is not a werewolf. That he might have been born on a full moon is not evidence of him being so.

160. If I am asked to look after the royal children, which does happen from time to time, I will not be taking dog leashes to 'walk the puppies'.

I started this on reveal day and then went to my mum's home country for a while. Soz.