Recap: After the baseball game, Narumiya decides to stay behind and go on a date with Sawamura. Prior to leaving, he bumps into Miyuki. A heated confrontation with Narumiya telling the catcher that Sawamura was his donor and that he had ignored Sawamura (unknowingly) after his return to school caused the catcher to fall silent and into contemplation. Narumiya and Sawamura goes on a date with dinner and eventually returning to the older pitcher's apartment for the night, where their relationship grows deeper (not lemon deep yet). Upon arriving back at school, Sawamura resumed his daily routine, but when he returned to the dorm room to retire for the night, he's confronted by Miyuki.
Chapter 13: Ending it all
"Eijun, we need to talk..." Miyuki said in a deep voice.
"Ka..." Sawamura paused. "Miyuki...how bout tomorrow? It's getting late and I'm feeling really sleepy..." the pitcher quickly said as he tried to avoid the talk. As Sawamura was about to climb into bed, his body was pulled and pushed, back against the wall.
"M-miyuki! What are you doing?!" Sawamura stuttered as he stood there in shock.
"This..." Miyuki whispered before he leaned in for a deep passionate kiss. He was pressing hard against Sawamura, whom squirmed under the catcher's embrace. Slowly, Miyuki's hand wandered under the pitcher's shirt and started to caress and explore around.
"Mmmmm..." Sawamura couldn't do anything but moan in pleasure. He wanted this, he was yearning for this, and now that he had it, it made him happy. His knees started to buckle, so he pressed his back against the wall for support. The younger teen closed his eyes as he let Miyuki take over.
Miyuki's hands continued wandering until it traced the faint scar from the surgery. The catcher immediately stopped. He moved his head onto Sawamura's shoulder where he laid his chin atop.
Sawamura's hands found its way under Miyuki's shirt and was now rubbing the back of the catcher's back.
"Eijun...thank you..." he whispered while subconsciously moving his hand over the scar.
"W-what for?" Sawamura asked confused. He was so engrossed into Miyuki's advancement that his mind didn't comprehend anything else.
"Thank you for saving me, thank you for donating your liver." Miyuki said before he went to tightly embrace the pitcher while digging his face into the crook of Sawamura's neck.
Suddenly, Sawamura pushed Miyuki away. "How...how did you find out?"
"Mei told me. Why didn't you tell me Eijun?" Miyuki went in for another embrace, but Sawamura pushed him away again.
"S-so...all this is because of just that?" Sawamura was trying to find his words. He was shocked that Narumiya had told Miyuki.
"What you mean just that? Are you referring to saving my life? It's not just that...you gave me so much..." Miyuki responded as he was worried that Sawamura was down playing the donation.
"No...this getting back together...it's all because of that isn't it."
Before Miyuki could respond, Sawamura immediately backed away towards the door.
"No!" Miyuki forcefully said as he realised what Sawamura was getting at.
A portion of Sawamura wanted to believe what Miyuki was saying, but other rampant thoughts started to scour Sawamura's mind as his conscious started reprimanding him. 'Eijun...what are you thinking?! Narumiya was there during your lowest moments, he pulled you out of the depths and didn't even ask for anything in return. And here you are, yearning for Miyuki?!'
"It's over..." Sawamura whispered as tears started to creep out his eyes.
"Wait Eijun...it's not like that!" Miyuki quickly grabbed the younger pitcher's arm in attempt to pull him back, but Sawamura swung his arm forcefully breaking free from Miyuki's grip.
He turned and faced Miyuki with a tear stricken face. "Why are you doing this to me? It's over between us Miyuki... I...I have Mei now..." Sawamura felt his heart wench in pain as he broke the relationship with Miyuki, but deep down within him another stabbing pain pulsated. He wanted to get back with Miyuki, but that would betray the trust, the relationship and the feelings that Narumiya and he had built up. The thought alone made the pitcher feel antsy as he started to crumble in tears. He was trying to use the donation excuse to end everything with Miyuki.
Miyuki reached his arm out towards the devastated pitcher, but his arm was slapped away.
" Please...please leave me alone..." Sawamura begged as he quickly stumbled his way out the room.
Miyuki was left in silence, his knees gave out as he collapsed onto the floor. His mind was trying to process what had happened. 'No...no...this can't be happening...' Miyuki thought as his own tears started to cascade down his face. His hand subconsciously grasped his abdomen as he questioned why he gotten this second chance in life...
Sawamura ran as fast as he could out of the school grounds. His mind was torn. On one end, he wanted Miyuki, but from what Sawamura could gauge, Miyuki's feelings were that of obligation from receiving a donation rather than love. On the other end, he felt like a dirty piece of garbage, he had betrayed Narumiya. His feelings for Narumiya were real, things were going really well between the two pitchers, but the minute Sawamura got a glimpse of hope for being together with Miyuki again, he had fallen head over heels for it, the thought of leaving Narumiya for Miyuki had crossed his mind and he felt terrible for it. Narumiya was just too good for him.
As he continued to run the thought of Narumiya telling Miyuki about the donation popped up in his mind. A sudden rush of anger came over him as he felt betrayed. What the older pitcher said was what sparked this whole dilemma.
Sawamura ran and ran until he was at the front of the older pitcher's apartment. He found himself there subconsciously, but he was glad he had came to Narumiya's place.
*BANG BANG BANG* Sawamura hammered the door in frustration.
"Hold up! Not so loud! Jeez..." Narumiya sighed as he made his way to the door, not knowing who it was. Upon opening it, he saw a tear stricken Seidou pitcher standing in a frail form. Sawamura was huffing trying to catch his breath. His shirt was damp from sweat and his eyes wet and red.
"EIJUN! What happened?!" Narumiya said in shock as he opened the door wider to allow the younger pitcher in.
"How could you?!" Sawamura said in a slightly angered tone.
"What do you mean?" Narumiya asked confused.
"Why did you tell Miyuki it was me who donated?!"
"Eijun, please calm down, come in..." Narumiya said has he placed his arm around the other's shoulders and motioned him in. At this point, Narumiya was starting to feel the consequences of his big mouth.
"Don't touch me!" Sawamura said while slapping Narumiya's arm away, which caused the older teen to have a face full of hurt and shock.
"It was suppose to be anonymous! Why are you butting into my business?!" he angrily chastised the Inashiro pitcher.
"Eijun...I'm not standing around watching you get hurt by him." Narumiya raised his voice slightly as he took some offense to what Sawamura had said. "I could see and feel how much he's effecting you...even when you're with me I could..." he wanted to say something along the lines of Sawamura thinking about Miyuki, but opted to leave it at that.
"So what does that have to do with me donating to him?"
"I...I don't know...I just wanted him to know what you've given him and make him realise how he's been treating you and what he lost...Eijun...you're too good for him! That's all I wanted to...I want him to feel remorse..." Narumiya said in attempt to justify his actions, but deep within, he didn't know why he said it. 'Shit...me and my big mouth...' Narumiya thought.
"He tried to come on to me tonight..." Sawamura whispered.
"What?! I told him to never touch you again..." Narumiya said angrily. Sawamura noted the anger and immediately felt worse for partially accepting Miyuki's advancement on him.
"I wanted him..." Sawamura meekly whispered as his anger subsided. He came into a realisation that he was torn between Narumiya and Miyuki. He wanted both, but either of them would easily sway his devotion at a moment's notice. He couldn't do that, especially not to them, both of whom he loved.
Narumiya was stunned silent, he didn't know how to take the statement. All he did was wait for what Sawamura had to say next.
"Mei...I'm sorry...lets..." Sawamura was finding it hard to say the next few words. His heart was beating erratically, his stomach churning. 'Eijun...you gotta do it you two timing piece of...' He was inwardly chastising himself as an internal conflict erupted. As much as he didn't want to say it the words, he knew it was unfair to Narumiya to continue this way. "Mei...lets break up..." he whispered weakly but loud enough for Narumiya to hear.
Immediately, Narumiya grabbed Sawamura's arm with slight force, causing Sawamura to twitch in shock from the sudden movement.
Narumiya's heart was scrambling as if it were trying to plug the holes of hurt that were slowly bleeding him out.
"W-wait Eijun...what are you saying? I thought...I thought we were going somewhere..." Narumiya started to tear up as his voice cracked. This was the first time Sawamura had seen the older pitcher in this state and he was the cause of it, he had broken Narumiya.
'Eijun...break up...it's the right thing to do...he's too good for you, he could find better...' the younger pitcher was telling himself.
"I think it's best for you if we separated..." Sawamura whispered again.
"Eijun...please don't...I'm sorry for telling Kazuya...I'll go talk to him...don't end it like this...please..." Narumiya squeezed Sawamura's arm tighter in attempt to grasp onto the younger pitcher and prevent him from running away. His face was in distraught as his breathing heightened with tears starting to roll out his eyes.
"Mei...it's not your fault...I can't face you..." Sawamura said but was cut off.
"Eijun...please don't..." Narumiya immediately went in for a hug. "I know you love me, I know the time we've been together had feeling in it...I love you Eijun..." Narumiya started sniffing as he wrapped his arms around the pitcher. He dug his face into the younger pitcher's neck. "Please Eijun..."
Tears started to erupt from Sawamura's eyes, but he held his composure. He slowly pushed Narumiya away from him. "Mei...the minute Miyuki hugged me tonight, I wanted to be with him again...I'm sorry for hurting you Mei, but I can't continue knowing that I also have feelings for someone other than you...I'm sorry..." Sawamura bit his lips in attempt to quell the sob that wanted to erupt out.
"Eijun...it's ok...I don't mind..."
"No...it's not ok...it's not fair to you...I can't do this Mei...I'm sorry...this is it..." and with that, Sawamura was firm on his decision. He pushed Narumiya away from him, turned around and started to leave the apartment. "I'm sorry Mei..." Sawamura said in a sadden broken voice as a single tear found its way to the ground before the apartment door closed leaving the older pitcher alone.
Narumiya stumbled back a few steps before his back hit the wall, where he slid down until he was sitting. He grabbed his knees and hugged them against his chest before he crumbled into sobs of pain and hurt.
- Back to Miyuki -
A couple hours had passed since the incident and Sawamura hadn't come back to the dorm. Miyuki was still sitting on the floor drowned in sorrow, but he had finally recomposed himself. With resolution in his eyes, he set out to fix what happened earlier that night. He had to clarify everything with Sawamura and he couldn't wait till tomorrow to do so.
'Dammit...where can Eijun be...' the catcher thought as he ran out of the school gates with an unknown destination in mind. 'Where could he be...where...' Miyuki frantically thought. It was a bit past midnight and the air was chilly. Miyuki was glad he had brought a hoodie.
'Mei's apartment! I'm sure that's where he's been going to recently...' Of course, the catcher knew where the Inashiro pitcher's apartment was, as he and Narumiya had previously gone out together. And so, he made his way there as fast as he could.
*BANG BANG BANG* the banging of Narumiya's door rang through the apartment.
Narumiya, who was still frozen atop the floor, immediately looked at the door and ran towards it.
"EIJUN!" Narumiya opened the door and shouted prior to seeing who it was.
"Mei..." Miyuki responded while trying to catch his breath.
"Ka-kazuya..." the dejected pitcher said as the hope that Sawamura had returned diminished. "What do you want?"
"Eijun..." Miyuki stated as he was still huffing and puffing from his run.
"Go away before I hit you..." Narumiya said in a monotonous voice as he turned around and started walking away from the door.
Miyuki immediately grabbed the pitcher's shoulders and turned him around.
"Please let me..." Miyuki started but wasn't able to finish his sentence.
Narumiya took Miyuki's advancement as aggression. With a swing of his arm, he knocked Miyuki's arm away.
"What the hell do you want? I hope you're happy now, I told you to stay the f away from Eijun, but you had to continue butting into our business didn't you?" With a sudden motion, Narumiya grabbed both of Miyuki's shoulders and pushed the catcher, pinning him against the wall. There, the pitcher applied pressure to the catcher's shoulders causing Miyuki wince in pain.
"Mei..." Miyuki whispered while moaning from the pain. He had never seen Narumiya like this before.
"I hope you're happy! Eijun...he broke up with me..." Narumiya said with a diminishing voice as tears started creeping out his eyes. His hands suddenly released their grip on Miyuki and dropped to his sides. The pitcher then stumbled backwards until his back was being supported by the wall.
"Mei..." Miyuki said as he reached a hand out towards the pitcher. The catcher was confused.
*Slap* Narumiya hit Miyuki's hand away again. "What did you come here for? To gloat that you won? That I lost Eijun?" Narumiya said bitterly.
"What are you talking about?" the confused catcher asked.
"Eijun broke up with me...what more do I need to say? YOU WON." he shouted angrily.
"Eijun broke up with me too..." Miyuki solemnly said, which caught Narumiya's undivided attention.
He stood there for a minute comprehending what Miyuki had said, and upon realising, the aggression and animosity he had towards Miyuki lessened. Neither of them won Sawamura over, they were both on the same page.
Narumiya looked dumbfounded. "What happened? He told me he loved you and that he couldn't continue with me knowing that he had feelings for you..." Narumiya said bitterly.
"He thinks I got back with him because I found out that he was the donor..." Miyuki quietly said.
Narumiya felt dejected. It was a different reason than what Sawamura had given him. 'So Eijun does love Kazuya more than me...' the harsh truth had been realised by Narumiya. 'I...I lost dammit...' the pitcher bit his bottom lip in fustration.
"It's true though...you did..." Narumiya quickly said in attempt to divert the pain away.
"No it's not! You know I wouldn't do that!" Miyuki defended himself with a hurt look plastered on his face.
"Yeah yeah..." Narumiya responded nonchalant.
"Mei!" Miyuki responded angrily.
"Alright alright...I'm joking..." Narumiya gave up knowing that Miyuki would go on and on about it. "Anyways, where's Eijun?" the pitcher asked.
"I came here to look for him...he never came back to the school..." Miyuki responded.
"He left about an hour ago..." Narumiya said with slight worry.
"You mean he's still out there? The trains stopped long ago, so he couldn't have gone home..." Miyuki started to panic.
"Calm down, he's probably thinking things over somewhere...he should be able to take care of..." Narumiya paused as he remembered what happened last time during the thunderstorm.
Both catcher and pitcher looked at each other. "Shit..." they realised they were talking about Sawamura. Immediately, they ran out the apartment in search of the younger pitcher in the dark, chilly night.
The two ran around for a good half hour, but eventually bumped into each other at a secluded park. Both were panting, trying to catch their breath.
"Did you find Eijun?" Miyuki asked while bent over.
"Would I be alone if I did?" Narumiya retorted sarcastically.
Miyuki gave a displeased look. "Fine..."
"Where would he be?" Narumiya asked.
"Would I be alone if I knew?" Miyuki immediately jumped on the question with his own sarcastic remark.
Narumiya bit his lip as he dug himself into that one. "Jeez...I'm being serious here..."
"So was I!" Miyuki shouted back.
The two then stayed silent for a few minutes, both avoiding each other's eye contact and in deep contemplation. Suddenly, they heard a faint sob coming in the direction of a nearby stream. They looked at each other with realisation that it could be Sawamura.
"He's here!" they said in unison in a whisper. Immediately they went towards the source of the cries.
- Back to Sawamura -
Sawamura ran as fast as he could out of Narumiya's apartment. He kept going, not knowing where his destination would be. His mind was in disarray. He had lost both of the people he loved, all due to his selfishness. His world seemed to have shut off completely. Eventually, he stopped next to a stream.
Sawamura watched the water trickle down the stream as flash backs of moments with Miyuki and Narumiya trounced through his mind. He recalled the first pitch he had thrown to Miyuki that started everything. The smirk that Miyuki gave every time a perfect ball was thrown. The time when Narumiya planted his kiss in front of everyone. And many many more.
Sawamura's eyes started to tear up as he recalled the happy memories he had. His breathing started to get heavier as he bit his lower lip to prevent sobs from breaking out.
His knees started to shake as they gave out, causing him to collapse on to the ground. His heart ached in pain, inwardly screaming out the sorrows that it had pent up. Eventually he broke, his cries escaped his throat as they drowned into the silent night skies.
'Baka! Baka baka baka!' was all he could reprimand himself with. Out of anger, Sawamura started punching the ground with both his fists. He didn't care about the injuries that he was inflicting upon himself. At this point in time, he saw no meaning left in his life. 'It's over...it's...it's all over...'
The pitcher eventually stopped and knelt there with arms dangling along his side. He stayed in that position not knowing what to do and oblivious to his surroundings.
"There he is." Miyuki whispered to Narumiya as they caught sight of Sawamura from afar. Miyuki then started to run full force towards Sawamura, but he was immediately stopped by Narumiya.
"Hey! Is it ok to talk to him now?"
"What do you mean?! Of course it is." Miyuki responded in a whisper.
"Then we should talk to him separately..."
"Ok...I'll go first..." Miyuki said while keeping his eye on the younger pitcher
"Why you?!" Narumiya asked with force.
"Cause he broke up with me first!"
"He loves you.." Narumiya said with bitterness in his mouth.
"What are you talking about? He loves you..." Miyuki gave him a frown, as if in contempt.
"Fine, what ever... make it quick..."
With that, Miyuki quickly ran over to Sawamura, but as he approached the younger pitcher, he slowed his pace.
Sawamura jumped slightly as he heard the sound of shoes scraping against the pavement. He turned his head towards the sound only to find Miyuki staring at him.
"M-m-miyuki!" Sawamura shouted. He immediately turned his head away and furiously wiped his eyes with his sleeves, which exposed his knuckles to Miyuki.
Miyuki caught sight of the bleeding hands and immediately grabbed Sawamura's arm.
"What are you doing?!" Sawamura asked as he struggled to pull away, but Miyuki's grip was strong.
From afar, Narumiya's jaw dropped as he saw Miyuki making a move on Sawamura. "So that's how you wanna play eh? Ka..zu..ya..." the older pitcher said through gritted teeth as his hands squeezed his arm in attempt to suppress his anger.
"Eijun, what did you do to yourself?!" Miyuki asked, voice filled with concern.
"I-I..." Sawmaura couldn't answer.
Miyuki then knelt next to Sawamura while still holding the teen's arm. He noticed that Sawamura's arm was slightly cold, so he quickly unzipped his hoodie and draped it over the younger teen. He then grabbed the bottom of his tshirt and teared a strip of it off.
"What are you doing?!" Sawamura asked in shock.
"Are you an idi..." but Miyuki immediately stopped as he didn't want to insult the one person he loved. "What did you do to your hands..." he said in a calm voice. He took the strip of cloth he had ripped and started to wrap the pitcher's hand carefully with it.
After a couple minutes, Miyuki finished wrapping both of Sawamura's hands. He tied the cloth gently to prevent it from unraveling. Blood was starting to soak through the cloth, but it was better than leaving it exposed. He then subconsciously lifted one of the pitcher's hands and gave it a kiss, causing Sawamura to blush.
"M-m-miyuki!" Sawamura said as his heart started to melt from Miyuki's advancements.
"Eijun...please listen to me..." Miyuki said in the deepest, most gentlest voice. "I've always loved you and I always will, you being the donor had nothing to do with me wanting to get back with you. I made bad choices, wrong decisions...and I hurt you..." Miyuki's voice started to crack. He was finally able to speak the words that were locked up deep within in his heart.
Upon hearing and seeing how torn Miyuki was, Sawamura broke into a fit of tears as the words unlocked the chains that wrapped around his heart.
"I was really happy being with you...those moments were real and I wished so much to live the rest of my life with you, but when I got sick...please understand...I didn't want you to suffer alongside me...I'm sorry...I didn't want to die and leave you alone, that's why I ended it...I...I..." Miyuki broke into sobs as he tried to explain everything to Sawamura. Miyuki turned his head away so that Sawamura wouldn't directly see how pathetic he was at the moment.
As Sawamura listened, he recalled the moment when he overheard Miyuki talking to the doctor.
Miyuki was sitting atop the hospital bed with a tear stricken face. "The only person...I...*sniff*...I loved...*sniff*...I hurt him...I broke his heart... I'm sorry Eijun...I'm sorry...I don't deserve to live after what I did..." Sawamura then realised that everything Miyuki did was to protect him from being hurt.
'Miyuki always loved me...he's been struggling alone...' Sawamura thought as more tears started to roll down his face.
Without notice, Sawamura quickly wrapped his arms around the catcher and pulled him in. He dug his face into Miyuki's shoulders and started sobbing. "Kazuya...I'm sorry...I'm sorry..." he kept repeating.
Upon hearing Sawamura call him by his name, the catcher's heart felt as if the crushing stones had been uplifted. He grasped Sawamura tightly, afraid that this was a dream and the pitcher would run away at any moment's notice. He too dug his head into Sawamura's shoulders and wept while whispering his apologies as well.
From afar, Narumiya watched the two pouring their heart out to each other. The surrounding was silent enough for him to hear bits and pieces of their conversation, but the actions of the two were enough to tell him that Sawamura had chosen Miyuki.
Tears started to cascade down Narumiya's face as it blurred his vision, which was a saving grace, so that his vision of the two could be blurred out. His left hand was squeezing his right arm tightly in attempt to subside the stabbing pain he felt in his heart. 'It's over Mei...you...you lost...' the pitcher thought as he started to chuckle in defeat. He bit his lips in attempt to stifle the sobs that were about to erupt, causing a sliver of blood to gush out from where his teeth was pressing against.
Suddenly, a slight cry escaped from him. He quickly clasped his mouth with one hand as he turned around and started to run away from the scene.
"I love you Eijun..." Narumiya whispered. 'Take care of him Kazuya...' the pitcher thought as he conceded in defeat.
A/N: No comment on how this chapter went :/ Probably too wordy and repetitive.
Anyways! Let's throw some lemons in next chapter xD