The telephone rang the day before the butler was supposed to come home. Eleanora answered it, thinking that it was a businessman of some sort, calling to say that the shipment would be delayed or get clarification on an order or maybe even the demon himself to let her know that his arrival would be changed in some way.
It was a man on the phone, a man with a strange, sing-song voice who asked to speak to the butler.
Eleanora hesitated before asking; most businessmen asked to speak with the butler because they didn't trust speaking to anyone else, and she had gotten pretty good at faking a man's voice. She held the phone back up to her face and said in the deepest, most butler-esque voice she could,
"This is Sebastian Michaelis, butler to the Earl of Phantomhive. How may I help you?"
Then the man on the other end giggled. There was something phenomenally disturbing in hearing that giggle. It made Eleanora want to drop the phone and run, but she remained on the line.
"Oh, there's no need to be so formal," the man said in a teasing voice. "Not with me, anyway. We already know each other far too well for such formalities. Or has the human world finally addled what little brains you had left?"
Eleanora remained silent, wondering where he was going with this.
"No doubt you're confused as to my last statement?" the man asked. "There's no need to say anything; I can read you like Braille, even when you're three worlds away, you cheap piece of vegan bacon."
"I'm…sorry?" she finally squeaked out. Maybe now was the time to say that the butler wasn't home.
"The funniest thing happened yesterday," the man continued. "It was just downright hilarious; I wish that you could have been there to see it. Our old friend the Undertaker called and we were just chatting about this-and-that, asking when he's going to come down next, talking about fine wines; the usual; when he suddenly mentioned your wife."
Eleanora suddenly couldn't breathe; the man's coldly pleasant voice turned icily dangerous.
"So naturally I asked what the heaven he meant by that statement and he asked me if I didn't know and I said heaven no, I don't know; what the heaven are you talking about and he said that you're married. In fact, that you've been married for several months now." The man took a deep breath and said in a voice as chilling as Death, "Have you forgotten that it takes six months to plan a wedding?"
It takes six months to plan a wedding. The Undertaker had said something like that too. What did it mean? She wanted to ask the man, but he suddenly seemed to lose it and began screaming into the phone.
"WHAT THE !, LARD? WHAT. THE. !? You, the blood of me—how dare you blatantly fail to give me this information? Why do I have to find it out from a third party? What—where you scared of something? Of what? Of me? Why? You know me; I wouldn't hurt a cupcake; so why didn't you tell me?"
"S-Sir," Eleanora said, unable to control the tremble in her voice, "I-I have to tell you something…"
But she never got a chance to say that she wasn't really Sebastian because the man's tone suddenly turned suspicious.
"Your voice—It sounds different. Almost…female. It's lost its manliness. Don't tell me…" The man gasped and then began screaming again. "ROSE! It's happened! I knew that it would happen; I always knew; they said it couldn't happen but I knew that it could and now I have proof and goddamn it and ROSE!" Crashing sounds and then she heard the man's voice in the distance, as if he was running away from the phone. "ROSE! He's been a virgin for so long he's degenerated back into a woman!"
Eleanora slammed the phone and stalked away, breathing hard. She didn't know who that man was or what he wanted but she hoped that she would never have to talk to him again.
The phone rang. She turned back to it. Was it him again? If it was, she could just hang up. She didn't necessarily have to talk to him. Besides, it could be a legitimate businessman. She hesitantly picked up the phone again.
"H-Hello?" she whispered.
It was a woman with a warm, musical voice.
"Good evening," she said. "I was wondering as to who I may be talking to?"
"Th-This is Eleanora Bla-Michaelis, of Phantomhive manor."
"I see. And…Is Mr. Michaelis there by any chance?"
"N-No…"
Then she heard the woman talking to someone else.
"See, I told you that it was a girl and not Sebastian; now you've gone and frightened her away."
Then she heard the man in the distance, speaking a bit sulkily,
"I know women and I know men and let me tell you, if that boy doesn't get some sex soon, he's going to sprouting tits like nobody's business."
Eleanora immediately hung up the phone. She did not want to talk to that man again.