A/N: Sorry this took so long! The reviews I get on this story are such a self-esteem boost, I love them. Thanks so much, you guys are great for even reading it. :]

Sun Down

Chapter Eight

Oh just hide your heart anywhere.

Logan stood alone outside of the Palm Woods. He was trying to catch a bit of air, but all that filled his lungs was smog. It was better than suffocating inside the lobby with everyone. Logan had been spending most of his time with Madison but she was gone to West Hollywood to visit her parents for a few days. She'd left Monday, it was Wednesday, and she wouldn't be back until Friday evening. A week without her hadn't sounded bad at first, Logan didn't really fancy himself attached to her, but she had been preoccupying most of his life as of late, without her, things were different. They seemed slower, shallower, less important, empty even. Every morning he walked in to class and sat down, then stared at the door waiting for her to enter in with this air of grandeur, fooling everyone into thinking she was this confident girl, showing them only her cool exterior. But Logan knew Maddy, she'd let him in, he was beneath her skin, and she was under his. Logan still didn't know why she was at the Palm Woods, and what the reason behind the haunted look in her eyes was, but he felt like he knew more than anyone else did so far. Meanwhile she knew just about everything about him, Logan was an open book, easy to read, he had no reasons to keep secrets from Maddy. It bothered him that she had to hide so much. He just wanted to help her; he wanted to know what was wrong. He wanted to know what made it so hard for her to smile.

"Hey."

To his left, Camille stood, her hands shoved in the pockets of her sweater, her curly hair blowing around her face from the light breeze. She looked up at him from those dark eyes that used to scare him, and then turn him on, and then made him sad. If Camille and James hadn't kissed, they'd still be together right now, and the boys wouldn't be trying to teach her new boyfriend how to play hockey in the lobby.

"Hi." He said looking down at his shoes, shifting his weight slightly. It'd been a while since the two had exchanged words, let alone by themselves.

"Why are you out here alone?"

He shrugged and turned his gaze towards the sky, the air was considerably cooler, a sure sign that winter was on its way. Even though it was California, the weather did take a temperature drop eventually. It was never as cold as Minnesota, at least not ever anywhere near Los Angeles. For the boys, the weather was mild, cold enough to wear a jacket, and a scarf, but never a point to where frost bite was an active threat. He always rolled his eyes when people complained about the cold. They didn't know what cold was. They'd never been stuck in the house due to a blizzard.

"It was just a bit much in there."

Camille nodded slowly, "yeah, it gets like that. Especially with you guys around."

Logan half smiled, "What can I say? We're the life of the party."

They stood silently for a moment, Logan felt pressure to think of something to say, Camille wasn't like Madison, she wasn't just fine with long silences, she liked conversation, interaction. With Maddy, just being near her, staying around during the moments of silence was enough interaction for her. Something would be said eventually, and if it wasn't fine.

"How are things with Steve?" Logan finally asked, figuring it was the polite thing to do. They were still friends, weren't they? Granted they hadn't talked much as of late, but that didn't erase all of the past times they had together.

"Fine." She replied quickly. "He's really nice."

"I'm sure he is."

"I think the two of you would get along."

Logan chuckled lightly shaking his head. Camille looked up at him confused, "What?"

"That's never a good thing, when ex-boyfriend and current boyfriend are friends."

"Why not?"

"It's just common knowledge."

"Fill me in."

"One is always jealous of the other." He explained.

"Are you jealous of him?" She asked quietly.

"Is that why you're dating him?" Logan met her eyes, actually very curious as to what the answer to that question would be. But they were interrupted by none other than Steve himself.

"Hey babe," he wrapped his arms around Camille, a clearly possessive act, "Logan."

Logan nodded to Steve, then excused himself and headed back into the lobby. Kendall and Jo were publicly displaying their affection, kissing like they were alone while they were in the midst of the lobby. He could only imagine what would happen if Mr. Taylor walked in and saw them like that, and maybe it was cruel, but he actually kind of wished that Jo's father the military man would walk in and catch them.

It was amazing to see that Carlos actually had the undivided attention of the brunette Jenifer that he so loved while James had the attention of the other two. Logan felt Carlos was foolish for even pursing Jenifer while Stephanie would be a much easier, much nicer, but equally pretty target. Sure she'd gone out with James once or twice, but it was obvious that Stephanie held some affection for the short boy. Logan was no tower, and next to James he still looked a considerably small, but Carlos was barely five six.

"Logan," the blonde Jenifer called out to him. He almost ignored her, kept on walking, he should have but he didn't. He was Logan who came running whenever he was called. He liked to think that Madison was slowly helping him change that. Since being around her people had given him a different kind of respect, he was the only one who'd been able to befriend the most beautiful girl at the Palm Woods.

"Yeah?"

"Where's your girlfriend?" She was referring of course to Madison. The blonde Jenifer was the head bitch, she ruled the pool, commanded the attention of all the males within a certain radius, and got whatever or whoever she wanted. She was used to be the one that all eyes fixated on while in the room, but with Maddy around, some things had changed. She was still the head bitch, she still got whatever and whoever she wanted, but Maddy had command of all male attention when she walked by, Maddy was the one that eyes watched from across the room. She was a face that Jenifer could only ever dream of having, Logan thought. Jenifer was attractive and a lot of it had to do with the way she carried herself, but Madison was beautiful and on a whole other level, everyone seemed to acknowledge that, and it irritated the hell out of the blonde Jenifer. But even she seemed to hold some respect for the image that Maddy portrayed, Logan personally thought that Jenifer was just afraid if she confronted Maddy that she would get her ass kicked. Actually Logan was pretty sure that that might be accurate, at least verbally. Jenifer wasn't fat by any means, but Madison was skin and bones. While Jenifer was mean, Maddy was quick and clever, witty. Logan had no doubt that if Jenifer tried to insult Madison, the response from the steely exterior of the troubled young girl would be ten times worse than anything Jenifer could ever say.

"She's out of town, back to West Hollywood for the week." Logan answered, it just seemed to irritate her more, Madison even came from a better background.

"You should make sure she doesn't have her fingers down her throat." Without Madison actually around, Jenifer could say whatever she wanted.

"She's so anorexic." The other Jenifer added in.

Logan glanced to James who sat with them, he didn't make any remark, but he didn't step up to defend Maddy's honor either, she'd burned him too many times, always implying that she would rather be around Logan.

Logan smiled at the Jenifer's and before he knew what he was saying it was already coming out of his mouth. "Jealousy is an ugly attribute Jenifer. I'd tell you to take your own advice about the fingers, but you probably don't have much of a gag reflex anymore anyways." He tilted his head toward James.

Three mouths dropped and six eyes widened, but Logan was walking away before any comeback could be made. He knew he would hear something about it from James later, he just wasn't sure if it would be a commendation or a condemnation. They were words that Logan never would have let himself say before, they wouldn't have even come to mind, and yet he was walking away feeling almost smug about what he'd said. His intentions hadn't been to be cruel to the Jenifer's when he opened his mouth to respond, at least not consciously. Maybe his subconscious Id was coming out to play without permission. All Logan knew was that he'd wanted to change, himself, his image, and slowly it seemed to be working. Maddy gave him an entirely different persona. She made him seem cool, worth taking the time to get to know, being around her also inspired Logan not to take so much shit from everyone, because Madison walked around like she ruled the world and shit talking to her would not be tolerated whatsoever. Why should Logan tolerate it? Logan had even gone shopping recently, trading in his old brand-less jeans, for some dark denim, clean designer jeans. Almost all of his money made from being in the band was going to college, but a small amount was set aside for him to spend, the thing was, he hadn't spent any of it yet except for the occasional movie ticket or admission into Disneyland or Universal Studios. So he had plenty of cash to spare on buying a new wardrobe, he'd even been talked into one of those cool, new, stylish leather jackets by the sales man at the store where he bought his jeans. Slowly but surely Logan was becoming less of who he was, and changing himself into someone that he actually wanted to be. Someone that people wouldn't just write off as a nerd, someone that people would double take on the streets. He wouldn't be a pushover for much longer. He wouldn't be outshined by everyone anymore. The world would know Logan's name because of Big Time Rush, and he wouldn't just be the misplaced guy in the band, the one that was friends with the other's, just tagging along really. He would be Logan Mitchell, and he would be admired and have just as many fans as James Diamond. Logan was pushing himself to get to a point where second best would not be tolerated.

"Logan, honey, come here will you?" Mrs. Knight called to him when he entered through the front door, how'd she known it was him was a mystery since she had her back to the door. Maybe it was just a motherly thing.

"Yeah, Mrs. Knight?"

"Hon, I'm trying to make cookies, and for the life of me I can't figure out how to convert the measurements, or whatever!"

"Why do you need to?" he asked skeptically, "Shouldn't everything be in the American standard of measurements?"

"I got the recipe online and everything is in the metric system, or whatever it's called, I just know that you have a brain and I failed most of my science classes in high school." She put a hand on her hip and held up a measuring cup.

Logan smiled, "Sure thing Mrs. Knight."

He sat down at the counter on one of the swiveling bar stools and began to work out the conversions. Logan was trying to change, but at the same time, nothing about him had changed at all. He was still a sweetheart, still very obedient and interested in learning. He was neat and kept his belongings well organized, it was one of the reasons he and Carlos chose to room together, believe it or not, Carlos kept his things reasonably organized as well. While James wasn't terrible, Kendall was horrific. Logan liked those things about himself; they were things that he didn't want to change. He didn't want to be a bad ass, just not a push over; he didn't want to be the most popular guy around, just noticed.

When James entered the apartment, he sat on the couch next to Logan. The tension between them had been resolved, James let off him, gave him some space, and Logan eventually missed his best friend. They were good again, this time for real.

"So, Logan," he said in a hushed voice, Mrs. Knight was still in the kitchen trying her best to make cookies now that Logan had come to the rescue. "What was that all about?"

Logan shrugged. "She just irritates me."

"I know she's a bitch, but come on man; I don't think you've ever said anything that made you seem like a bigger asshole. Hell, I rarely even say things like that." James nudged his friend.

"She's offended only because it's true." Logan replied nonchalantly. What he said wasn't bothering him in the slightest. She deserved it. Jenifer didn't know Madison, she didn't know who she really was, she didn't know how fragile she was beneath her cool façade.

James laughed and said, "Yeah, well you're right about that."

They watched the commercial on TV for State Farm, the home, auto, life insurance provider something about the agent buying a woman's husband a falcon. It was ridiculous, meant to be funny and maybe the first time they saw it, it was, now it was old and boring, annoying even.

"Personally," James spoke up again, "I have to say congrats on finally growing a pair dude. Logie's not a wimp anymore."

Logan grinned, "You'd best watch what you say, I'll beat your ass."

"Ooh, I'm so scared." He rolled his eyes sarcastically.

"I've got medical dictionary upstairs, hardcover, thicker than a phone book."

"Please no, if you hit me with that, I might learn something!"

The pair laughed, things felt good between them again. They were finally friends, just like the way things used to be. The resentment that Logan had been feeling towards James had fizzled out, and now Logan saw him as a target, someone to beat, a standard to reach, a goal to surpass, something to keep him motivated.

Carlos soon joined James and Logan on the couch while they watched Zombieland for the umpteenth time. It was a great movie. Violent, gory, funny, and it had Emma Stone in it, what more did you need? Mrs. Knight finally finished her cookies and for once, they were edible. She left the plate with the boys and by the time Kendall returned to 2J there were only a few left.

The four of them sat on the couch in front of the TV and laughed, talked, insulted each other, threw popcorn at each other, and smiled for a long time that night. It felt like they were back in Minnesota. They'd been in California for a while now, and it had been a while since they weren't all caught up in the moment. When they came out to California they promised they would never let Hollywood change them, and that lasted until Hollywood fever struck. But after they'd been cured, things were normal again for a while, but things had slowly begun to progress and they weren't the kids they had been in Minnesota anymore. The changes had been gradual, but they were there nonetheless. There was nothing Logan could point out directly and just say "this is different" about his friends, but the changes were there, they were subtle. It seemed like everyone had become more sure of themselves. Logan was still progressing there, but it was coming along. A lot of his new found confidence came from Maddy, she always told him that he was a wonderful person, he was great, he was handsome, she loved his voice, dancing looked like it came so easy to him, he was smart and he was all around just a good person. When someone tells you those things enough you begin to believe them and Logan was getting to the point where he beginning to believe what Maddy saw in him.

When Friday rolled around, Logan found himself anxious. He didn't know why, of course it was because Maddy was finally coming back from West Hollywood, he'd been texting her, and she seemed fine, but the last time she'd gone, she'd come back with a couple bruises and seemed so hopeless. He hated seeing her like that. When she'd left she'd been at a point where smiling wasn't much of a feat anymore, at least not around Logan. They'd spent many nights up on the rooftop again, watching the sun go down. They'd even gotten up early, wrapped in warm pajamas and blankets to go watch the sunrise. Logan didn't know what in West Hollywood ailed her, but whatever it had been, she seemed to be getting better, forgetting about the past. He was afraid that she would come back and have reverted back to the way she'd been when they first became friends. Even though he was worried about this, it didn't fit the feeling of anxiety, it was something different, something he couldn't put his finger on.

Logan rolled into class alongside his three best friends and sat down next to Madison's empty desk. He looked at it for a moment, reveling in the fact that come next Monday morning it would not be an empty chair that left him feeling like there was something missing to his right. Today, after class he'd get to see Maddy, he wasn't quite sure when, she just said she'd be back on Friday afternoon.

The Jenifer's walked past him with glares and the blonde one even went so far as to flip him off without even sparing him a glance. He actually laughed at that, finding it rather amusing. Because he was right, she wouldn't be so offended if it weren't entirely true, besides, James confirmed the fact.

The day went by normally, Logan continued in class as the brain, he was frequently asked for the answer to questions and James who sat right beside him just casually leaned over and peeked at his answers. Kendall peeked over his shoulder and Carlos got the answers from the other two. While in the classroom, Logan even forgot that he was waiting anxiously for Maddy to return.

James and Carlos waited for him to gather his things after class, Kendall was swept off by Jo and Camille joined by Steven. Logan wasn't bothered by him so much anymore, but that didn't mean he liked seeing them together. Logan tended to lag so he wouldn't have to be a part of their group, and besides, most of the time he was accompanied by Maddy. Camille and Jo didn't particularly like her. Camille because she thought Maddy had replaced her and Jo because apparently it was wrong for Logan to like someone else while Camille had a new boyfriend that supposedly wasn't "permanent". Was Logan supposed to be?

"Dude, hurry up, you're lagging." Carlos whined.

"Then go, I'm cool, you don't have to wait." Logan said as he zipped up his backpack. So Carlos left, bounding off to catch up with Guitar dude and maybe cut in line for a smoothie, James waited patiently. They exited together and standing there outside the classroom was Maddy. Her dark blonde hair piled messily atop her head in a bun, a pair of black sweats and a tight fitting white tank top, it showed just how skinny she was, and for a moment Logan hoped that the Jenifer's hadn't been right about Maddy, he hoped she wasn't anorexic or making herself throw up. But mostly, he was just glad to see her, a wide smile spreading across his face, and grin sweeping across hers.

James patted Logan on the back and said, "I'm off to the pool." He smiled at Maddy and left Logan in the hall with the girl he hadn't realized how much he missed. Seeing her filled him with joy, it was kind of inexplicable, but he was happier to see her than he figured he would be. Their arms opened wide and Logan found a kind of peace holding Maddy in his arms, nuzzling his face into her neck and inhaling deeply. She only smelled faintly of cigarettes, he felt a wave of relief as well, he'd been worried.

"It feels like it's been a lot longer than a week." She smiled when they pulled apart.

"It does, doesn't it?"

They walked to the elevator together, and Maddy followed him back to 2J so he could put his things away, and then they made their way up to her apartment.

"Does your uncle know you're back yet?" he asked.

She nodded, "He picked me up this morning. It feels good to be back."

"You aren't homesick for West Hollywood?"

She paused for a minute, "there are some things, some people I miss, but the majority of them I don't."

"Are your parents the ones you miss?"

"Yeah, they're great. I love them, in fact I feel bad that I've put them through so much, but they sent me here because I needed to be way away."

"From the people you don't miss?"

She looked down and tucked a strand of loose hair behind her ear, then nodded, "Yeah." She gave a carefree shrug, and tried to smile, but Logan knew what her real smiles looked like and that wasn't one of them. He frowned. Why couldn't she talk to him? What was so terrible? Wasn't he trust worthy yet? Maybe that wasn't it, maybe it just hurt to talk about it. But still, that didn't ease Logan's mind in fact it only worried him more. What had she been through? It seemed like she was dealing with more than any teenager should. What was she going through? Who was putting her through it? Was it any of his business? Did that question even matter? Madison meant something to him now, she was quickly becoming his favorite person to be around, whether she was smiling or frowning, whether she was mentally there or receded back into her own mind, it didn't matter. Logan just liked to look at her pretty face, be in her easy presence. She said that he comforted her, but it went both ways.

They sat together in Maddy's room, light from the sun, filling the room, coming in through the window, music playing softly in the background on a CD by some band Logan had never heard of but liked well enough. She was telling him about her trip back home with her head in his lap, examining the spilt ends of her hair, occasionally meeting his eyes and smiling up at him. It felt like some almost romantic scene from some indie movie that would never be as recognized as it should be.

When she stopped talking, she still had her head in Logan's lap and he was idly running his fingers through her hair. Maddy's dark green eyes had closed, eyes lidded, hiding the color he had come to admire so much. She was breathing steadily, and for a moment he almost thought she might have fallen asleep.

His eyes roamed the room, it was still pretty bare. There was a Big Time Rush poster hung on the wall, she'd gotten in one day and surprised Logan. He distinctly remembered wanting to kiss her after she smiled at him unveiling it. He hadn't of course; it had been a long while now since they had kissed. It was some far gone, past time, a distant memory. But sometimes Logan lied awake in bed staring up at the ceiling picturing Madison's flawless face and remembered what her lips felt like against his, the feel of her body in his hands, the weight of her in his lap. He liked to relive that night they spent drinking and smoking and kissing poolside. It was one of his favorite memories.

She had a single picture in a frame on top of the dresser that was pushed up against the far left wall. Aside from the frame it was cluttered with jewelry and accessories. But next to the door hanging on a nail were the same old, worn down pair of ballet slippers.

"Do you dance?" he asked her.

Madison didn't respond, he thought maybe she really was sleeping. Then she opened her eyes and looked towards the slippers. She didn't say anything for a long time, just looking at them while Logan looked down at her face. Her eyes looked hard, as if the slippers were just a reminder of some bad memory.

She closed her eyes and turned away from the slippers, her head still in his lap, and Logan tried not to let her hear his breathing hitch, she was now facing Logan's body, her face looking directly at his zipper. The last thing Logan needed was to pop a boner with Maddy's face in his lap. So he tried his best to think of something else.

"Not anymore." She said quietly. Her voice was flat, emotionless. He wanted to pry, and ask why she stopped did it have something to do with the reason she was here? But she had curled up beside him now, her body wasn't relaxed and stretched out anymore, her hair covered her face like she was trying to hide from him. So he didn't say anything, he just let stay the way she was.

A/N: So, not much going on in this chapter, there will be a time lapse in the next one, and maybe the one after as well. I hope you liked it!

Review?