A/N: Sorry this took so long! Things will get stirred up in the next chapter. Sorry if this one is super angsty. Lyrics in this chapter are from The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot – Brand New

Sun Down

Chapter Ten

If it makes you less sad, I'll move out of the state. You can keep to yourself, I'll keep out of your way.

She was regressing. All the progress that Madison had made, letting him in, smiling, rarely smoking, telling him things that she hadn't told other people in a long time, keeping him close, holding his hand, all of it was disappearing. She was shrinking back, receding back into herself. It was happening right before his eyes and it was all happening so fast. How long had it taken for her to get here? It was being ruined and Logan didn't know why.

Had he done something? Was this his fault? What happened? She was a photograph fading before his eyes. Her eyes grew hollow and her smiles more fake and less frequent. She was disappearing behind the clouds of smoke that came from her cigarette, pouring out of her lungs. But Logan was desperately trying to keep a hold on her. He was afraid that if he blinked, he'd lose sight of her, and he wouldn't be able to find her again.

What Logan really wanted to know was, why? It was the one question always on his mind when it came to Maddy and for so many different reasons. Why was she sad, why was she at the palm woods, why couldn't she dance anymore, and currently why was she falling apart again? Hadn't she been making progress? Becoming a happier person? Or had it all been a charade and she finally couldn't keep up the show anymore?

He kept thinking that it was because he told her about Camille.

She sat with her knees pulled to her chest on a pool chair, in sweats and a boy's sweater that was a few sizes too big for her, with a cigarette between her lips and dark sunglasses covering her pretty eyes. She had gone out for the weekend, told Logan that she was going to see her parents, but Buddha Bob that she was spending the weekend that girl she knew from West Hollywood, Ally. Logan didn't tell him that they had been told different stories and he didn't bother asking Ally if she knew where Madison was because it was obvious she didn't, as she had come back to the palm woods late, her legs around some guys waist, and his tongue in her mouth. Not to mention it just wasn't worth interrupting.

When Maddy returned to the Palm Woods, she looked like she had when he met her by the wishing well, so lost, so broken. He wondered where she was, but he wouldn't tell her that he knew she wasn't with her parents. When he'd asked how her time with them was, she looked at him like she'd forgotten the lie she'd told and then she shrugged, said they were fine. It was fine. Everything was fine. Except they weren't. The skin under her eyes was dark and purplish like she had slept in days, if he didn't know better; he'd say it looked like she had a black eye. She looked so frail. Logan didn't know what to do. He didn't know how to help. Or if he even could. He looked at Madison and wished fiercely with his entire being for her to be well. He just wanted to see her happy. Why couldn't she be? What was holding her back?

"Maddy?"

She flicked her cigarette and looked towards him. Logan opened his mouth to say something she the words feel short of his lips and so he said nothing. She continued to look at him through the dark sunglasses even though the last light of the sun was fading now.

She looked away and put the cigarette out. "I'm going back to my room, do you want to come?"

She had extended the invitation, but if felt like she didn't want him to take it. At the same time, Logan felt like if he left her alone again she'd slip through his fingers. Lose her to a world that had damaged her, and couldn't see her.

So he stood up and followed behind her into the lobby and then into the elevator past people that they knew but he had tunnel vision and Maddy was all he could see. She was consuming him. Was this healthy? For him to be so… so whatever he was? Concerned, infatuated with, adoring, they all fit. While he was so worried about what was happening to her, what was becoming of Logan? He was cutting everyone else off, isolating himself, just so he could spend all of his time with Maddy and now she didn't even want him to. What was he supposed to do now?

They sat alone in Buddha Bob's apartment, Maddy put on a CD and it played softly in the background. She reclined on one end of the couch, the big sweater, like a pool around her, and a magazine in her hands. Logan just looked at her. She was so beautiful and now she was wearing some guy's sweater. It wasn't his, and she'd never worn it before. It made Logan wonder if she had spent the weekend with the sweater's owner. If she had, was it to get back at him for Camille?

"Maddy?" He said again.

"Yes?" She didn't look up from her magazine.

"Do you want me to leave?"

She stopped moving, and closed her eyes. When she didn't say anything, Logan nodded to himself. It was okay. He had messed up. He deserved this. He should have said no to Camille. He shouldn't have told Maddy about it. Whatever it was, he did this. Logan stood and grabbed his jacket from off the couch. He took his time shrugging it on, knowing better than to hope for Madison to stop him.

As he walked past the couch, he leaned over and kissed the top of Maddy's head and said quietly, "I'm sorry."

She didn't stop him. So Logan left. He would leave her alone until she wanted him back in her life. He deserved to be punished for hurting her even if she acted like it hadn't hurt. When he reached the lobby, Ally was waiting for him. He'd only talked to her once, but there she was, her arms crossed when she saw him.

He quirked a brow not knowing exactly what he had done to deserve this from her.

"Logan, right?" She said looking up at him.

"Ally, right?" he mimicked.

"Yeah," she said, "can I have a talk with you?"

He shrugged. Was she going to tear him to pieces because he had hurt Maddy? Did she even know? Maddy hadn't talked about hanging out with her, and from Maddy's reaction when she first saw Ally at the Palm Woods, she didn't seem thrilled to see her.

Logan followed Ally out into the crisp evening air of the first week in December. He pulled his jacket closer and looked down at the small girl. She looked like something out of a little girl's clothing ad. Black leggings, Uggs, a bright pink sweater, striped scarf and matching earmuffs around her neck. Logan didn't know if he would be able to take her seriously if she yelled at him.

"What's going on?" he asked.

"Where was Maddy this weekend?"

He gulped. "She told me she was with her parents."

"She told me she was with you." Ally said sounding kind of distressed.

"She told her uncle she was with you." Logan said quietly. They stood there together in silence for a moment. Then Logan asked, "What's happening with her?"

Ally looked up at him with this look in her eyes, like she wanted to tell him everything but she was being held back by something. "It's not really my place to tell."

"Well, she won't tell me."

Ally bit her lip. "Damn it, Logan. She was supposed to be getting better here."

"I don't know what was wrong with her, but she was, she was better than when I first met her. It's just, she just… she left this weekend and came back worse that she was before."

"It's Aaron."

That name had not slipped from Maddy's lips in a while. Her hero, her villain. She hadn't mentioned him in a long time.

"That sweater she's wearing is his."

"Who is he?" Logan asked.

"Her ex-boyfriend." Ally said quietly.

"Why is he so bad?"

"I-I can't tell you. Maddy would have to."

Suddenly Logan was mad. If this guy was the reason for all of Maddy's displeasure, the reason for all her sadness, and her insecurities, the reason she was the way she was, then why wouldn't Ally tell him? But at the same time, even if she did, and Aaron was the worst thing that Logan could possibly imagine, what would he be able to do that could help?

"So what?" Logan said trying not to show he was irritated. "Did she see him or something?"

"I really hope not."

"You aren't being helpful, Ally." He said a bit more harshly than he had planned. She met his eyes and apologized. She shoved her hands into the pockets of her bright sweater, looking once again like a child. He felt bad.

"I'm sorry for snapping at you, I just really…. I really care about Maddy and she won't ever tell me what's wrong. She was doing so well and then, now, she's going back to how she used to be."

"I'm sorry Logan. All I can really tell you is that he's not a good person. She's here at the Palm Woods to get away from him." Ally looked up at him with big sad eyes before turning away, leaving him out in the cold air, and retuning back to the warmth of the Palm Wood's lobby.

Logan sighed watching his breath come out in clouds. What was he supposed to do here? When did he take on Maddy as his own responsibility? When did he start trying to be Maddy's hero? When did he become the guy who was trying to save the girl that didn't want to be saved?

Was Maddy going back to her Aaron, her ex-boyfriend? If he was so terrible, why would she?

Why did he have so many questions? He just wanted life to be simple again. He wanted it to be the way it was before Maddy was around. He wanted to walk around with his friends. He wanted to hang out with them. He didn't like this constant feeling that nagged on him to the very depth of his soul, wondering if Maddy was alright. He didn't like the anxiety that came with trying to figure her out. He didn't like always being on the outside. He didn't like how she couldn't trust him. But at the same time, who had he been before Maddy? He'd been pathetic. People walked all over him, they used him, abused him, made him the butt of their jokes. Now when people saw him walk around with Maddy, she was like a trophy. A badge of honor that he wore on his arm. Just being seen with someone so beautiful had to mean something. Seas of people parted for them as they walked together, a beautiful girl accompanied by a not too bad looking guy. Normally it would be James with someone like her. But she had chosen Logan. Maybe she had seen something in him. Maybe she was placing some hope in him. Hope that he was smart enough, and strong enough to figure out what was wrong and save her. But then again, she'd never asked for his help. She was just using him as an escape from the problems that plagued her young life. Problems that Logan had yet to be informed of. But even if Maddy was just using him to get away from the rest of the world, what was so wrong with that? He enjoyed her company, her conversation, her presence. He was memorized by her eyes, and dazed by her smile, enchanted by her voice, and enamored with the way she moved. Maddy was someone that Logan had never been and wasn't sure that he could be. Maybe that was why he was so drawn to her. She was beautiful, calm, cool, collected, smart, elegant, and confident. Even if it was all just a charade, at least she could keep up the façade; Logan had never even been able to pretend he was something special. He just was what he was. A nerd, someone to overlook, he would never matter as much as someone like James or Kendall, even Carlos who with no great looks, or real talent (before BTR was formed of course and his rough edges were smoothed, and the discovery of his voice and rhythm) forced himself to be noticed. Logan had always just been the character in the background. The one in the book who played a small role, but in the movie wasn't even given a name. But being around Maddy changed that. He liked the way he felt around her, even if it did come with some side effects.

Back in 2J things were quiet, which was a surprise. Things were never quiet in 2J. Only Mrs. Knight was in the apartment, and she was already curled up on her bed watching soap operas. So Logan, all by his lonesome, went upstairs, showered, changed into a sweater and some flannel pajama bottoms, and got into bed, even though it was only eight.

He didn't hear Carlos come in, but when he woke up the next morning the other boy was snoring across the room. Logan went about his daily routine. But everything seemed so much slower. He felt like he was missing whatever gave him the motivation to get up in the morning. He didn't respond to anyone, he just got dressed ate breakfast and left. He spaced out and didn't even see Camille get on the elevator until she nudged him.

"Oh," he said, "hey."

"What's wrong?" she asked.

He didn't say anything. He probably wouldn't be feeling like this if he hadn't slept with her.

After a few moments of silence she said, "Steve and I got back together."

Logan just nodded. He didn't care. He hoped that they stayed together and had a nice life so that she wouldn't force him to sleep with her anymore and ruin his life.

They got off the elevator and Camille gave him a concerned look, but Logan didn't care. He shrugged it off. When class started and Madison didn't show up Logan didn't do anything. He didn't pull out his notebook, he didn't take notes, he just didn't do anything. He could feel people looking at him, but it was whatever. He was feeling so apathetic today.

He declined offers to go ice skating downtown at the outdoor rink, he declined offers to hit the Jacuzzi and have a winter time jam session. Logan just wanted to be alone. This was all his fault, wasn't it? It was his fault that Maddy was sad again. It was his fault that she went back to Aaron after doing so well. Maybe she felt unwanted. How he could have made her feel that way? He was such a bad person. All because he couldn't say no to Camille. Why hadn't he?

Logan sat alone in the apartment. Everyone else went out to do something including Katie, and Mrs. Knight had finally gotten a job as a receptionist and some PR office downtown. It was a step up from waitressing for sure.

Logan wished that he could play an instrument. It was a way of expressing emotions. It was something that he wanted to do at the moment, let the world know just how sorry he was. He often watched Kendall and James play the guitar when they were upset or happy, or even bored. Kendall played more the guitar more than James. He played it when he had a fight with Jo, when he didn't have anything else to do. James could play many instruments but he favored the piano, and often stayed late at the studio to write and play new songs. Logan was envious; he'd never learned to play music, his parents focusing all on the academic rather than the artistic. But he wished he could play. He'd be able to express things that were hard to put into words.

There was a knock on the door. He didn't bother guessing at who it would be. Carlos almost never remembered to bring his key. So he swung the door open, expecting to be able to turn away the moment it was open. But when he saw Maddy standing there, he kind of froze.

She looked into his eyes, the difference in height not really enough to make her look up. Logan didn't know what to do, what to say. He hadn't expected to see her. He thought that he'd lost her. But there she stood, still clad in her pajamas, ones that Logan recognized as her favorite pair, the ones she wore most often. Her hair was piled high on her head into a lazy bun, and for the first time since he'd told her about the incident with Camille, she looked rested, the dark circles under her eyes had disappeared.

"Hey." She said.

"Hey." He managed.

"Can I come in?"

Logan stepped aside and let Maddy into the empty apartment. He shut the door behind her and she waited for him to accompany her into the living room onto the orange couch. She sat and Logan sat a respectable distance from her. She didn't say anything for a while, just twiddled her thumbs, but Logan had learned to become content with her silence and he was more than satisfied to watch her eyes flicker across the room, as she tugged on the sleeves of her sweater and she swung her knees slightly. Maddy was not one for fidgeting, she was an old, patient soul, full of wisdom beyond her years, having dealt with things, Logan assumed, that she probably shouldn't have. The fact that she was moving in such a nervous manner, was curious to him, he wasn't used to it.

Finally she spoke. "I'm sorry."

Logan blinked. What did she have to be sorry for?

"I've been cold towards you." She said on cue as if reading his mind.

Logan shook his head, "it was nothing I didn't deserve."

"I disagree."

"Maddy, I obviously hurt your feelings and that was the last thing I wanted. I felt that it was just punishment."

"It shouldn't have bothered me though." She said quietly, stilling herself, standing down at the frayed cuffs of her old sweater.

"But it did." Logan said it but he wasn't quite sure how he meant it. Was it a question or a statement? He'd known it had, but to what degree he hadn't been aware. For her to feel that her actions and behaviors towards him were worth apologizing for had to mean something, right?

"Yeah." It was barely above a whisper, and if Logan hadn't become accustomed to the sound of her soft voice than he probably wouldn't have heard it.

"Why?" He asked. It was a painful question. He was going to make her admit that she had feelings for him or some other truth was about to be told. Either way, he deserved the look he received from her. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply. "I like you."

A/N: So how was it? Sorry, I lied; Aaron is in the next chapter. He was supposed to be in this one, but the angst got the better of me and I just kept going. I hope it wasn't too bad. Anyways, hope you liked it.

Review!