Jack drizzled snow onto the children, boys and girls. Many waved at the two, when they got back from their trip Jamie decided to take a nap. One would think he would have dreamed of snow and the children, or at least something good... but that wasn't to be. He curled up as his dreams became nightmares once again. Jack shivered, holding Jamie and singing him a lullaby he once sang to himself when he was reborn; a song his mother sang to him and his sister. After a while Jamie calmed down; Jack kissed Jamie's forehead, hiding in a tree as he lay Jamie's head against his neck and his wings wrapped around him like a warm blanket as he nodded off himself. Jamie slept like a log, but he was exhausted when he awoke. The nightmares seeming to have sapped the energy from him. Jack was still asleep and all Jamie could see was white feathers as he had them wrapped around him strongly. Jamie stared at the feathers a long moment before he realized what they were. He gently reached out to touch the feathers; they were so very soft beneath his fingers. He liked that they wrapped around him despite now remembering their origin. He wished he didn't. That had been beyond horrifying. They ruffled as the wind blew against them and, like a bird, one wing flapped and fluttered from the air before returning to wrap around Jamie. Jamie watched before nuzzling against one. So soft... and yet there was still that kernel of guilt... He'd been responsible for what had happened. He'd sworn to protect Jack and all he'd one was made things go from bad to worse... Jack slowly woke up, stretching; keeping Jamie close still as he flapped, his wings fluttering a little. Jamie hid his face in one wing, trying not to cry though he did bite his lip a little. He didn't think he'd ever forgive himself for the choice he'd made...

"Jamie." He looked down worriedly at the boy.

"Hey, don't cry."

Jamie didn't respond this time. He simply lay there, lost in the guilt-ridden memories. Eventually Jack started shaking him gently.

"Jamie... JAMIE ANSWER ME! JAMIE WAKE UP!" Jamie flinched a little from the touch, muttering quietly.

"No need to yell." Jack shivered, his wings fell to his sides as he looked at Jamie worriedly; he jumped down with Jamie in his arms without giving him any warning. He pulled him to the cavern.

"We need to talk and now." He said sternly but gently. Jamie was quiet, but inwardly he's quaking, but not from fear. He'd never been afraid of Jack. Jack closed the cavern with a wall like door; he set him on the couch, laying with him in his feathery white wings.

"Tell me, why are you crying? What is keeping you up at night... please trust me Jamie." Jamie didn't look at him, he shifted on the couch to curl his feet beneath him slightly. His tone quiet.

"Memories." Jack turned away a bit; his own guilt ridden memories hitting him, making tears fall.

"I've remembered everything now." He said after a moment.

"Y-you w-w-what..." He looked at Jamie with a sad but incredulous expression.

"My nightmares... they've been memories." He replied after a moment, staring at the nearest wall.

"Jamie that was the past; you can't be guilting about that, it's over. We're together and I won't ever leave you." He said, looking at him with loving eyes; if Jamie had still had his wings, they would have either covered him by now or been drooping.

"I can't make up for what I did." He murmured after a moment, still not looking at Jack. Jack'd had enough of it, he moved to Jamie and a slap resounded out the room; his eyes were emotional, tears falling.

"Jamie Bennett I did not find you to hear you say you can't; there is no such thing as can't. You will find peace and I'm here to help you." He said, his arms wrapping around him. Jamie didn't flinch at the slap, but he tried withdrawing from the embrace that followed. He didn't deserve this... Jack didn't let go, he wouldn't until Jamie understood he loved him no matter what he did to him... He loved him so very much.

"Please. I love you Jamie, I love you for everything you did... you helped me." His voice was quiet, barely a whisper as he curled into himself.

"I could have done better... done something else... anything else..." Jack petted his hair.

"Those were the same questions I asked myself daily Jamie, I wished just as much as you that I could go back and change everything... make any possible way to stop it but I know I can't and neither can you. Jamie, the past is the past and I am glad that we're together."

"I just made things worse..." He mumbled before burying his head into his arms to silently weep. He had once told Jack he'd protect him... but that day he'd done just the opposite... there was no way he could live that down... that he could ever forgive himself for breaking his word. Jack sighed.

"You didn't, I did. I pushed you past your limits... I'm the one who got us into that mess in the first place and I take the blame." Jack petted his hair more and more as he just held him and comforted his love in any way possible.

"But I promised..." He murmured brokenly through his tears.

"Doesn't matter Jamie, I still love you and would go through hell to get you." He smiled at the pun... it was true. Jamie flinched at the words. Jack petted his hair even as his eyes started to droop and he just hummed a tune silently as he was falling asleep. Once Jack was asleep he slipped away from him and quietly carved a little niche just big enough for him to crawl into. He crawled into the small tunnel, making it more narrow behind him for at least a foot before he curled up in the small hole and quietly cried himself to sleep, surrounded by the cold of the small cave he'd made. Jack slept on for a while, but not before Jamie realized it was hibernation time for all winter spirits, which was why Jack had immediately built a caved in block so they would be safe during the sleep; Jack reached out to him over the bond telling him he'd see him next winter since it was hibernation time. Jamie's hibernation would be anything but peaceful as he slept. Tortured by what he'd done, his heart heavy from it and his mind troubled. The same was with Jack, only way worse... every time he cried Jamie could sense it just as Jack could him and during the hibernation he made a happy dreams for him as he pulled him into a hug and played with snow tossed them at him.

"CATCH ME IF YOU CAN JAMIE!" Jamie couldn't stand the dream though, happy that it was and had only retreated from it much as possible until the end of the hibernation.

When he finally woke from hibernation he stared at the wall for a moment before closing his eyes again. His mind was awake, but he didn't want to be. Jack awoke, whining as he felt empty since Jamie had retreated from him; he tried everything to get him to wake up and stop worrying, but he could only do so much and Jamie could tell his hurting was making Jack coddle him again. He looked like a kicked puppy, not that Jamie could actually see it. Jamie was awake but he didn't move from the spot he'd made for himself.

"Just go make some snow." He said after about an hour of listening to Jack trying to 'wake him up.' Jack winced at the voice he used and left to do that, whining like a dog a little as he made beautiful snow; trying to cheer him up in any way. Jamie flinched at the sound, but said nothing more. He would be here for Jack... but that was it... it was all he felt he deserved as he huddled in the tiny cavern. Refusing anything offered to him. Weeks turned into months, months turned into years... Jack's body actually looked a little bit older now, but not much; he'd had grown muscles and a slightly more aged face filled with knowledge and he brought Jamie dinner.

"Come on Jamie, you have to eat... please." He pleaded.

"What for? I don't need to eat. I'm not a human." Came the tired reply. They'd been over this again... and again... and again... Jack winced.

"Will you at least come out to play in the snow at least?" He looked at the hole hopefully.

"Not now." He replied. He hadn't left that hole in the cavern since he'd made it. He spent his time only thinking about the things of the past. It was torture to him, but he felt he deserved it... it and the nightmares that constantly kept him from restful sleep now. He never complained about anything and he'd learned how to quiet himself in sleep so that it wasn't always obvious he was in the throes of one of his nightmares. Jack's hopeful face fell and he spoke sadly.

"Ok, I'll tell the kids y-your sick again..." He said tiredly, it was obvious that Jamie's hurting himself was hurting Jack more than he knew; he made it snow, trying to make it perfect and happy. He coddled the boy but not as much as he was wearing out and would die sooner or later, the less Jamie did anything the less Jack could do besides just for caring for him.

"Stop wasting your energy while you're at it." He called flatly. He was aware only that Jack was wearing himself thin yet again... it was the only thing that came across the bond to him. The only sort of thing he allowed nowadays. Jack listened to him, he now lay outside the cave actually crying, crying for Jamie.

"It's all my fault, I shouldn't have brought up anything." Jamie could sense the sadness. Unable to bear the torture of Jack's sadness, he pulled himself from the hole and stumbled over to where Jack lay. Without a word he fell to his knees next to Jack and wrapped his arms around him. His voice quiet as usual.

"It's not your fault." Jack whined.

"IT IS MY FAULT! YOU'RE HURTING 'CAUSE OF ME!" He cried and Jamie realized at that moment Jack was feeling exactly how he was feeling, he was starting to shut down as Jamie had. Jamie winced.

"No... I hurt because of what I did... not because of you. Never because of you." He murmured softly, resting his head against Jack's shoulder.

"I'm sorry I've been so stubborn..." He held Jack close. He'd missed this... just being able to touch... Jack hugged him close, just crying until his wings drooped and his body went completely limp. Jamie buried his head against the hoodie, taking in the scent of the one he loved the most...

"God... Jack... I'm so sorry... I... I didn't mean to..." The words are half muffled as he held Jack close, a few tears escaping him. Jack forgave Jamie over and over in Jamie's head, kissing him gently as he was too exhausted otherwise. Jamie returned the kiss too happily. A couple tears of joy escaping him as he just clung to Jack. He'd spent enough time moping... it was time to do whatever it would take to make things right. Jack sighed in contentment when he woke up; he rolled over with Jamie in his wings as he lay there, the snow had fallen on the both of them making a snowy drift. Jamie gently stroked the feathers delicately. He'd been awake the whole time. Jack shook his head of snow, electric ice blue eyes glowed against the pure white feathers and snow; Jamie's eyes shifted from the feathers he still stroked to Jack's eyes. He just stared, lost in the icy depths; Jack's breath caught as Jamie's eyes were a breathtaking chocolate brown abyss. Jamie just stared quietly, absently still stroking the feathers. How lovely those eyes were... shaming the sapphires and the blues of the sky... That brown the most beautiful chocolate of all... Jamie isn't sure when he moved, or that he had at all really. His lips brushed lightly against Jack's, a gentle, loving kiss. Jack plunged his tongue in, searching gently; rubbing Jamie's back as wings soft as feathers brushed against his body. Jamie surrendered the kiss, whimpering softly from the bliss of it, at the feathers that brushed against him; this was heaven. Jack gasped, quivering.

"M-maybe we should do this inside... the k-kids..." Jamie nodded mutely. He followed Jack back into the cavern, making an icy door ... just in case. He then slipped back into Jack's arms... oh how he'd longed for this so many nights... how he'd tortured himself with the memories of it...

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Jamie nuzzled against Jack, even as the pleasure of the climax faded there was a different sort of pleasure he'd never been able to put to words that always lingered whenever Jack was inside him. He wasn't sure what to call this pleasure, but it was there nonetheless; Jack fell asleep, forgetting to pull out of Jamie. Jamie didn't mind at all, falling asleep moments later in perfect bliss. Jack awoke groggily the next morning, he looked down; blushing, he didn't want to move but he pulled out so they didn't get uncomfortable. Jamie stirred a little, he was smiling in his sleep; something he hadn't done in a VERY long time...