Authoress Update: I. Am. So. Sorry!
It's not so much writer's block I'm suffering fro, but procratinator's block! I need more mees! One to finish this, another to go work out, another to work, another to finish crocheting my friend's scarf (she just had thyroid surgery-another reason I wasn't completely focused). Another problem is the fact I haven't been watching the show. First the put it on too early, and now it's all repeats. What I'm going to hafta do is find a blank VHS tape and try recording it. It'll still be repeats, but at least then I can watch it when I'm fully awake and can turn the volume on!
If you read and review, then I utterly adore you.
The Future Is Wild!
By Nefertanya dragongurl Ahhotep
Chapter 12: From You To Me; Pinkie LeeLexi stared at her reflection in the square mirror, watching as the peroxide did its work. And thankfully, work it did, changing the thatch of hair nestled between her ears a sunny yellow. She never thought she'd say this, but she was sick of pink. She was ready for a change, and in more ways than one.
After the disaster, Lexi had stuck around the school grounds, using her suddenly sharper ears to help root out survivors, and using her natural warmth to comfort those she could, even if it was just a little hug or a cheery word here and there. Her near-unshakeable faith and self-confidence inspired her fellow rescuers to work long hours through the night. They knew she wasn't SuperBunny-but to more than half the campus she was damn near close.
But her tiny headaches grew worse with the passing days, and eventually, she was forced to give up playing hero and returned to the Minnesota farmland her family had called home for sixty years. It wasn't a very large farm-1 house, a windmill (now in repair), a small barn with various farm implements, a gossipy Hen named Clara and a no-nonsense Cow named Clarabell, and six acres of arable land. But to the Bunnies, it was a castle in the sky. Well, except when the fertilizer trucks came in….
"Hey, Sis!" a youthful male voice, accompanied by heavy pounding, boomed from the other side of the door. "You almost done? I gotta put sumthin' down on paper, tch-ha-ha-ha-ha!"
Lexi winced. Boys could be so vulgar! "All right! All right! Jeeze, gimmie a minute! I'm almost through!" She dipped her head under the faucet and rinsed out the last traces of peroxide. Fumbling for the nearby towel, she smiled a little at the familiarity of the present situation. An only daughter with three older sons, Lexi had been both vexed and blessed. Her larger brothers were quick to torment, like the many times one had pinned her to the bed while the other ran off to the bathroom with her favorite doll, telling her that her precious toy had been flushed away1
But they'd been always quick to protect her too, like the day she'd come home a year and a half ago. Getting off the train, she was hit by a tremendous migraine, and tossed her cookies onto the shoes of the man in front of her. While it was obviously unintentional, the tall, heavyset man had gone into a fury, calling her 'freak' and well, names too ungentlemanly to print. The twins, Chet and Wilco, had stormed up to him and threatened to rearrange his face in lurid detail until he had turned tail and ran off. Then Chet had picked her up, and carried her home and put her into bed, where her mother tucked her in.
"Lexiiiiii!" Chet's call became even more desperate. Ah, how many days of her teenage life had started this way? She'd never figure out why her parents had never given her a personal bathroom. Maybe because she was the only one who attempted to keep order out of the four…she shuddered inwardly at the sight of the trashed bathroom.
"OKAY!" Throwing the used towel into the wicker hamper, she flung open the door-and immediately was snatched up in a bear hug by a giant of a male.
"To you from me, Pinkie Lee! Tch-ha-ha-ha-ha!"
"Che-e-et!" Lexi whined, her legs kicking the open air. Frighteningly, Chet was the smallest of her brothers. And to think, he was a kindergarten teacher! "Put me down! I've got to get dressed!"
"Do you really have to go, sis? You could get a good job around here. The school system here is always looking for good teachers!"
"I know, but I think this is where I really need to be…"
"But you don't know who this Zadovia really is, or who she works for! It could be dangerous!"
"Anyone heard from Dean yet? That wife of his took him away a week ago, y'know!"
Chet's features grew stern and solemn. "Don't change the subject on me, Alexis." He said quietly.
" sigh I'm an adult Chet. I have to start living my life again. I know you all are suspicious, but I've got a really good feeling about this job. I really could use your support on this. You and mom and dad and Wilco and Dean. You mean everything to me!"
Chet looked fondly at his Easter egg of a sibling. "Well, DUH! That's why we are worried! You've been so sick-"
"I haven't had vertigo or a migraine in months, Chet!"
"And you never thought it might be all that country air that did that? Lexi, I'm…I just get the feeling this deal is way bigger than that freaky chick let on, okay?"
A bubble of warm gooiness oozed up through Lexi. Chet, secretly, had always been her favorite relative. He always went outr of his way to make her feel safe and wanted, and ate her brussel sprouts without complaint. "Aw, you big softie! I'll be careful, okay? And if it looks like anything is starting to get out of hand, I'll come calling-even if I have to use smoke signals." The big guy blushed, making her giggle. She had a few secrets on her brothers to use as torture too.
With a deep sigh, he relented. "Ok. But, just remember-Put Your Seat Tray In The Locked, Upright Position!"
Lexi stared, dumbfounded. "Huh?"
"Ma'am? Puh-leeze put your seat in the upright position, puh-leeze. Ma'am?"
Lexi jumped and started with a snort. She stared at the overly-endowed mink with the overly-fake smile plastered on her face. "Wha-huh? Oh, yes, yes of course….sorry."
The mink turned and sashayed down the aisle. Behind her, pushing a drool-slathered beverage cart, a geeky looking, scrawny wolf panted after. Lexi attempted to stretch the kinks out of her neck before arranging her belongings. This plane was only the third to fly regular citizens since the disaster. It had been uneventful, and she took that as a good omen. She nodded in response to the flight attendants automatic "buh-bye"s and stepped out the door to face her new future in Acmetropolis.
Chapter 13: The Wonder From Down Under"BleahBlahBeleahPBBTHeHeYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
With an unintelligible war cry, Slam Tasmania proceeded to right a fallen hoverbus. The tourists inside cheered his triumph. Thankfully, their injuries, where sustained, consisted of mainly bumps and bruises and a couple of bloody noses.
"SLAAAAM! Good boy!" The violet furred creature chuckled as he waved proudly back to the tourists. Despite the passage of time, Slam still could hear the whispered words the dying ref bestowed on him that fateful day. "Good boy…good boy…"
However, the economy had still remained a flawed capitalist design, putting Slam in a quandary-Can a good guy still have a full tummy and a roof over his head? The answer proved to be yes-at times. His newly acquired super-strength was 'bought' by many a rescue operation in the months after, and after a few weeks he'd mostly figured out how to keep from getting cheated too often on his way from the gambling district home to Australia. But with a heart almost as big as his appetite, Slam often found himself in the most perilous of situations by the poorest of people. Like the little girl in Ketchikan, whose parents were unable to reach the shore due to the large waves of a virulent electrical storm. A little while longer and they would have been either drowned in the angry sea, been crushed on the jagged rocks, or fried by lightning. The youngster's cries had been so piteous; he felt he had no choice but to stand on a slippery (and rather sharp!) rock outcropping and lasso the couple to safety.
It turned out to be a good thing, however, because the newly reunited family gathered him into their group hug. Then they invited Slam into their (mostly) dry cottage, where they bundled him in fire-warmed blankets and together they enjoyed good warm food and strong drink. As an orphan, Slam had never really understood what family meant. But as they sang boisterously, thawed from the inside out, he knew that someday, somewhere, he would find one to call his own….
"LOOK OUT!"
"Huh?" Slam blinked out of his daydream in time to have a green colored tree trunk hit him in the stomach. "Ooof!" Slam landed into the side of the bus, leaving a big dent. He stayed embedded there, blinking in confusion, while the recently saved tourist began to scream in panic once more.
A large ominous creature with glowing eyes hissed and snarled into view. A giant saltwater crocodile reared up on its back legs and lunged forward, its massive jaws making a loud CRACK! The beast's aim was off however-it grabbed the hover track instead of Slam. The electric components shorted when the cracked casing in his jaws were exposed to air, and he reared back once more, head thrown back with a howl of pain and fury.
"Slam have quite enough of this." The purple devil snarled as he attempted to free his heiney from the metal. As he twisted, he saw one little boy carrying a crudely made slingshot. Crude, but effective. Slam's smile grew wider. Just like him. Snatching the weapon, ignoring the boy's cries of indignation, he reached into a small pouch attached to his belt and pulled out a large, oval shaped pill. Placing the small item on the rubber band, he drew back and took careful aim….
The gator had by now recovered from the mild electrocution, and made another lunge at Slam. TWANG! The shot was perfect! The pill lodged in the beast's throat, making him gasp and gag. As the tourists and citizens watched, the gator seemed to weaken and shrink.
"HAVE ON YA, MATE!"
A khaki blur knocked into the gator, rolling them both along the ground a couple of turns. A sandy haired, muscular man was astride the gator's back, pinning tight the enormous jaws. A similarly clad woman soon joined him, trying with all her might to control the tail end. After a few moments of dumbfounded silence, the man carefully eased up.
"All right there mate?"
"Ohhh! My head!" Whimpered the Gator. "I feel like I've drunken an entire billabong full of ginger soda!"
"Wally!" The woman chastised him. "You know what happens to you whenever you eat sugar!"
"But it was licorish! You know how much I love that-th stuff!"
"It's still sugar! Now apologize to the nice people!"
"You're abthoultely right." Wally drew himself up and reached for his head. "Hey! My hat!"
"No worries, mate!" The man pulled a battered white fedora from the waist of his shorts. "You'll be needing a new tie, though. You went completely agro and shredded it."
"Oh dear me!" the Gator cooed mournfully. With hat in hand, he bowed graciously. "Ladies andf gentlemen, I most humbly apologize for my most atrociouth behavior. I hope this won't ruin your family fun! And please, come thee me, and all my cuddly friends, at the Queenthland Zoological Thothiecty!"
The khaki couple proudly patted the Lizard. Then the man leapt to the side, arms out as if he was a showgirl on "The Price Is Right!'2 "Isn't he a little beauty!" The crowd clapped awkwardly as Wally and his human pals climbed into a Land Rover and drove home.
"Slam need new job." He shook his head in disbelief.
"Then perhaps there we can help each other."
Slam turned around, searching for the speaker. Finally, he turned to face a shadowed alleyway, where he could just make out a figure in a red hood and robe.
"My name is Zadovia, and I have a proposition for you."
"Prop…po…sition…" Slam struggled with the unfamiliar word. The scarlet clad figure sighed and patiently reworded her prior statement. "I am looking to hire someone with your…unique talents."
Slam pulled himself up to his full height. He knew what those words meant! "Slam Good Boy!"
The woman in the alley chuckled and held out a hand placatingly. "That's exactly why I chose you, Slam. I need a brave person, strong in body and in deed. You risked your life to save these people. Now, why do you think you did that?"
Slam's brow furrowed. "Slam good boy." He replied a gain, with a shrug. Heroes just did that sort of thing, didn't they? He could hear the smile in her voice as she continued.
"Yes, you'll round out my team of champions quite nicely, Slam Tasmania. She held out a thin tele-board. Slam noticed she seemed to flinch as the warm summer sun illuminated the pale skin. "These are instructions, telling you where to go, and how to get there. The world needs good boys like you, Slam. I fear for a future that doesn't have even one. A great peril will strike Acmetropolis, unless all the good boys and girls come out to play…."
Slam looked up from the tele-board at the cryptic remark, bu there was no one there. Almost as if it had all been a sugar-induced illusion. But the board was real, so with a shrug, he slipped it into his waistband and began his journey to the world capital of Acmetropolis.
True story! I am the eldest of 3. My youngest sister, K, endured this brilliant torture many times growing up! Just chuck the doll in the closet, and flush the toilet! Voila! Instant trouble!
Now in it's 700th season! Now starring the recently thawed body of Boooob Barker! Come on down!
Can you guess who the khaki kids represent? Yes, it's the Irwins. I humbly apologize for my awful Australian. This part came to me at work today, though Wally Gator was already established as the preemptive 'villian'. Ah, sugar.