"I never meant..." She drew in another shaky breath. "Everything got so out of hand and Zane..."
"Zane?" Joey didn't understand. "Wait..Wait. Just start from the beginning. Tell me what happened.
How could she tell him? She wasn't sure she even knew herself. The last few months has been a whirlwind of emotion. Some days she blamed herself, other days she blamed Kevin, and on other days she was too exhausted and drained to blame anyone.
"I didn't know he was drinking again," she said quietly, looking up into Joey's blue eyes for a moment before breaking her gaze. She hated this...hurting him. It was all she ever seemed to do.
Joey sighed. "How long?"
"A few months," she responded, correctly assuming he was referring to the drinking. "At first it was with business associates from work. We talked about it and he promised he was ok. He said it wasn't a problem. I guess on some level, I was so afraid of what it really meant that I bought that."
Joey nodded. He understood denial. He'd been there plenty of times himself. "Then what?"
She felt the tears rise again as her mind drifted back to the first time-the first moment that she knew, for sure, that the drinking was out of control.
"Zane called me," she began. "Kevin was supposed to pick him up from study group and he never showed up."
Joey sat still, his heart breaking as he watched her relive these moments. He hated putting her through this, but he couldn't help her if he didn't know the answers...even if the questions were almost too difficult to ask.
"I called the office. I thought maybe he just got held up and that he'd lost track of time, but they said he hadn't been in at all that day."
She remembered that moment so clearly. She remembered the sick feeling that settled in her gut as the realization hit her, but more than anything, she remembered what happened next.
Months had passed, but the memories were still fresh in her mind-as fresh as they'd been the night it happened. She had called everyone she could think of, his friends, his business associates, the hospitals-everywhere.
It was nearly 3 in the morning when she heard his key in the door. She hadn't been angry...she'd been far too worried for that, but as she rushed over to him, throwing her arms around him she realized just where he'd been.
"Kevin." That was all she'd said. No accusations. No screaming. Nothing...just the mere mention of his name.
"Save the bitching," he spat. He glared at her, the compassion and warmth once present in his eyes now replaced with contempt.
As he pushed past her, walking up the stairs and slamming the door to their room, she remembered slumping onto the couch sobbing.
"Kel," Joey softly touched her face jumping a little as she withdrew from his touch-startled. "Hey, where'd you go?"
He couldn't stand seeing her like this, trapped in her own memories, in a nightmare she'd been living.
"Last night," she whispered. "He had a meeting with a big European investor. He was stressed out about it all week. He hadn't been home much."
Joey nodded, already disturbed by the turn of the conversation.
"I tried to stay out of the way...just let him have some space, but when he came home last night, I could tell he'd been drinking." She could see the worry in Joey's eyes as she continued. "Sometimes, he just gets quiet, you know...it's not always that bad, but last night..."
Her voice trailed off as a tear escaped from her eye.
"Tell me," he whispered squeezing her hand supportively.
"Things had been good for us." She forced a smile for a moment, remembering the times they'd spent together as a family. Nights at the waterfront, days at the museums. She and Kevin had even begun to go out together alone sometimes. It wasn't serious, but it was nice-comfortable...at least it was to her.
"He came into my room."
She watched as Joey's eyes snapped to attention, his shoulders stiffened-his breathing quickened.
"He was angry...furious really. He said he was tired of the games...tired of the lies...tired of putting on some show."
It was like listening to a news story only he knew the players here. Everything in him wanted to scream at her to stop. He didn't want to know any more, but he couldn't. All he could manage was a weak nod and a weak squeeze of her hands once more.
"Go on," he managed, his eyes meeting hers again. He had to know the rest though he feared he already knew how this story would end.
"I thought he was sleeping," she whispered, her back still shaking as he held her.
"It's ok," Joey whispered, trying to convince himself as much as her. "None of this is your fault."
"I just... I don't know what to say to him. He called the police," she managed, her voice hoarse as she continued to sob. "He called the police on his own father."
Joey shook his head. "He was just trying to protect you."
"From his own father?" She couldn't help but blame herself. She should have protected him, shielded him, kept this ugliness away from him.
"He did the right thing. It couldn't go on like this." He sighed as he watched the tears continue to stream down her face. "How about I go make us some tea and we'll figure this out?"
She looked up at him. For the first time in months she actually felt safe. Joey had always brought stability into her life and tonight was no exception.
The key turned in the door. It was a sound she'd come to dread over the past few months.
"Where the hell are you, Kelly!?"
She closed her eyes, the greeting not unfamiliar. Clearly he had been indulging since his relief from jail.
"So what?" He stumbled into the living room, tossing is coat onto the back of the sofa. "You think you can just leave me in jail to rot? Huh? Is that it?"
He moved closer to her, his anger increasing with every step he took. She just sat there on the couch like nothing was happening...like last night had been like any other night.
Kelly stood up, placing her hands in front of her in an effort to calm him-even knowing it was futile. He was way past rational and well on his way to drunk.
"Do you have any idea what it's like to spend the night in a place like that?"
She stepped back, avoiding his arms and hands as they flung wildly. The smell of alcohol on his breath seemed to strengthen with each accusation he hurled at her.
"Kevin, please,"she tried to stay calm, aware that losing her composure would only fuel the fire.
His hands were on her shoulders in an instant, the tight grip of his fingers pressing mercilessly on her shoulder blades.
"Don't you dare ask me anything," he spat at her, tightening his grip as his anger intensified.
She didn't even hear him as he came up behind her. It all happened so fast. One moment her eyes burned with tears as she stared into the face of a man she used to love-a man that now frightened her in ways she never imagined he would. In the next moment she was staring at that same man as he lay sprawled out across the living room floor.
Joey stood in front of her. His eyes shone with a mix of anger and worry as he softly touched her face. "Are you okay?" he whispered.
Kelly nodded, clenching her hands to try and stop the shaking. She watched as Kevin struggled to rise to his feet. Joey grabbed his arm, jerking him up and pushing him back towards the wall.
"What the hell is wrong with you, Kevin? How could you do this?