Antisocial Behavior
A very disturbing Cinderella story
Chapter 3: Bullets and Bowels
5-29-2016
By Grey-X
Disclaimer: Cinderella and all other characters that appear in this story are the property of Disney. Including the Marvel Comics and Star Wars characters. If you still got a hair up your ass about that all these years later, go eat a bowl of dicks.
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All villains are not created equal, especially among the devious do-badders collectively known as the 'Disney' villains. It takes a special something, an extra, unique dose of vileness and perniciousness to stand out among the crowd, something Lady Tremaine always managed. All despite having absolutely no special powers whatsoever, in stark contrast to heavy-hitters like Maleficent, Chernabog and Hades.
Not to mention, I doubt you'd catch any of them languishing in a hospital, half of their bones broken, Tremaine fumed inwardly as she stared across her hospital room, glowering at its other occupant. In fact, if anyone were to attribute any special ability to Tremaine, aside from her cunning and talent for manipulation, it would be how it felt like she could bore holes through you with her madness-inducing glare alone. The type that gave recurring nightmares to the very youngest in their audiences.
Unfortunately, Tremaine was learning the hard way that the more you used that soul-withering stare, the less effective it became. And Cinderella, who had been subjected to the Tremaine-stare most of her life… Tremaine could shoot straw wrappers across the hospital room, and it would possibly prove more effective.
And Cinderella, having a greater natural talent for snark than she and her fellow princesses would ever admit, infuriatingly rubbed it in with zero effort. "Hmmm, by my clock over here, it's been about five hours and twenty minutes since you last tried staring me down nonstop. If you intend to make my hellish during this brief time we're together again, may I suggest your old bag of tricks might not cut it?" And Cinderella said all that evenly, without a hint of passion, as if she could just brush her off!
To make matters worse, Cinderella wasn't even looking at her! This whole time Tremaine tried to stare her down, Cinderella's attention had been elsewhere. Oh, it was clear Cinderella knew what she was trying to do, but she simply didn't care! Tremaine was supposed to know better than anyone else what made this girl tick, but countless hours of being malevolently stared down was failing where one withering glance the other night had Cinderella unglued! And to drive the point home further, the morning sun was finally peering through the clouds and through the blinds, highlighting Cinderella's angelic look. Which even the bruising and lingering puffiness around her eye couldn't diminish. That beast freed in the ring against an X-Man the other night… No trace of her now! Just that insufferably pure slip of a girl, the bane of her very existence!
Oh no, I won't accept that what happened in that arena was a fluke, Tremaine thought sourly. The monster I saw let loose that night, I will see it unchained again! Just the thought of getting that fool girl to drop that mask of serenity once more… It was the only hope Tremaine had to cling to right then, what with half her body screaming in silent agony. And perhaps, just like how Cinderella found it easier to shrug off her glare each time it was leveled at her, it would get easier to loose Cinderella's wild side with each successful attempt.
That would take time, careful planning, and determination. For the moment, best to remain patient, play along with this aloofness Cinderella was banking on. "Speaking of abandoning what's… old, what is that you're dithering with, my child?" Tremaine enquired. "Clearly an electronic device of some sort…"
Cinderella finally looked up and made eye contact. Still, meeting her gaze did not faze the girl in the least. In fact, she actually smiled back at her! And then, Cinderella held up some shiny, black device with a huge screen plastered on front. Tremaine had to squint to make sure her eyes weren't playing tricks on her, but… It looked like some sort of rendered image of herself was moving across it! Yes, a perfect likeness of Lady Tremaine! "Tell me, have you gotten any care packages yet?" Cinderella jeered. Tremaine said nothing, her face remaining stone. If the girl thought a feeble jab about having friends that would pour out sympathy more readily than Tremaine's fellow villains would pierce her armor, she was sadly mistaken. "Someone sent me a PSP with the new Kingdom Hearts game. We finally have our own level!" she finished with another insufferable grin.
Tremaine just stared blankly at… herself being shown in a cutscene. So this was how the girl intended to tune her out? Pretend she wasn't even there while trudging along in some video game, no doubt with her game counterpart suffering a grisly fate for her amusement! This was what she was doing for the last day or so, ever since the two of them got flattened back at the House of Mouse? Cinderella's mere existence filled Tremaine with fury, and the girl kept finding new ways to grate on her nerves without even trying!
No… Patience! Tremaine scolded herself. Another opportunity to flip the tables and have this fool girl in tears will present itself! One always does… But at the moment, there was no denying the two of them were on equal footing, perhaps for the first time in their lives. No condemning this fool girl to hard labor, but no royal guards in sight to protect the princess. They only had their wits to use against each other, but unfortunately, so far Cinderella was winning said battle of wits with minimal effort. No, patience. The right opportunity would come, it had to come…
A rattling noise from above knocked Tremaine out of her silent fuming. It seemed to be coming from the wall directly behind her, a notion confirmed when Cinderella shut off her PSP and looked up. "What's that… on the other side of the vent?" Cinderella thought aloud. Tremaine's unease grew when she heard the vent cover clatter to the floor. Tremaine strained to look up, but the brace around her neck made head movement difficult, and what little was possible was excruciating. Made even worse when something rotund and furry bounced off of it and into her lap.
Rubbing her aching head, Tremaine forced her eyes to open as she glared down at whatever just barged in uninvited. Her ire, however, faded when she saw Lucifer sitting there on her hospital bed. His usual smugness was absent, though. In fact, Lucifer was wheezing and stretching, no doubt agonizing over all the vents he had to crawl through because of the hospital's policy about pets.
Still, this is a boon for me. No longer is it just me and the girl, Tremaine thought wickedly as she began stroking her cat. Normally, Lucifer relished the attention, but he was still in too much discomfort to pay much notice. Not caring all that much at the moment, Tremaine looked back over to Cinderella. She scowled for a moment, seeing that Cinderella had turned her attention back to her PSP, but she swiftly put back on her smoothest expression. "Well now, are here I thought that it would be just you and me," she said smoothly. "But it seems Lucifer would not be kept away. He wanted to be here to…help out in our time of need." Tremaine continued to stroke Lucifer, hoping that the cat was over the ordeal and fixing a smarmy stare at Cinderella as well. He had better be.
Cinderella didn't even look up. "Hmmm, that's nice," was all she said, in the most nonchalant manner Tremaine had ever heard. Tremaine fought to keep herself from scowling again. An effort that became far more difficult when Cinderella went on after a long pause. "Anyway, if that was a thinly-veiled threat to have Lucifer cause me mischief just like in the old days, it's hardly a concern."
Tremaine couldn't believe her string of bad luck. Bad enough her body was broken and battered because of that accursed Juggernaut. But with Cinderella suffering a similar fate, and getting pushed beyond her limits in a boxing ring to boot, she had no right to be so insouciant. As if she hadn't a worry in the world.
But why… Why would Lucifer having free reign while she's got a litany of broken bones not give her pause? How could… Tremaine's train of thought derailed when she noticed slight movement on the nightstand to Cinderella's left. Standing atop it were two brown mice. A thin one wearing red, and a rotund one wearing yellow. And those two vermin were… WAVING at her and Lucifer was obnoxious grins!
"Given how the silence between us has gotten more awkward, I can only assume you noticed Jaq and Gus," Cinderella said dryly, still not looking up from her PSP. "They found their way in around this time yesterday morning. They offered to launch a preemptive strike, mess with the controls for your bed and stuff. But I convinced them they needn't do anything unless Lucifer showed up to cause trouble."
The fool girl tried to make it sound like she OWED her!? That the only reason she had no further troubles here was because she decreed it so!? No, do not lose your composure. Remain calm, remain in control, Tremaine told herrself. Out loud, she said. "So…you feel those two mice are enough to counter Lucifer? Were they, back in the old days?"
"Well, if you're convinced they can't pull their weight like before, feel free to set Lucifer loose on them," said Cinderella. Now her nonchalance was starting to get creepy. "He looks like he could use the exercise anyway."
Tremaine felt Lucifer growl in her lap. And when two those rodents blew raspberries from across the room… Tremaine winced as Lucifer sprang off her broken leg. Newtonian physics was a cruel mistress indeed. He leaped up onto Cinderella's nightstand, but the mice were already on the move, skittering across her bed. Lucifer then jumped onto Cinderella's fractured leg and sprang off it. There was a soft but sharp hiss from Cinderella as she sucked in some air, but otherwise she ignored Lucifer, still fixated on that insipid game.
The chase went to the floor, as the three of them ran circles around the room. Tremaine couldn't help but wonder if this was how all the proxy wars between Lucifer and Cinderella's animal minions went. Well, for the moment, Lucifer has them on the run, Tremaine mused. But then, she remembered those two vermin were instrumental in Cinderella's first attempt to thwart her restructuring of time. However, just as Tremaine was about to shout out a warning, Lucifer chased the mice through the bathroom's open door. What followed were strange thwipping and sucking sounds.
Tremaine's puzzlement only grew when Lucifer stormed out of the bathroom with a dejected look. And he had good reason, given how a multitude of plungers were now stuck to his body. Growling to himself again, though more softly this time, he leapt back up onto Tremaine's bed. Grabbing one plunger that had almost gone up his butt between his teeth, Lucifer pulled mightily, and wailed as it was roughly pried loose.
This time, Tremaine couldn't keep the bewilderment off her face, and looked back up to Cinderella. All while STILL never looking up from that PSP, the princess said, "Yeah, a couple weeks ago I hooked Jaq and Gus up with that inventive mouse from the Rescue Rangers. Just in case they and Lucifer ever met again…"
At last, it dawned on Tremaine that if she wanted the upper hand against Cinderella this time, she would TRULY have to plumb the deepest depths of her cunning and wickedness.
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As he sat at the foot of Cinderelly's bed, Jaq could only watch coldly as Lucifee ostentatiously marched back and forth across the middle of the hospital room, returning a cold glare of his own. It was much like when Lucifer jeeringly stood in the way of what the mice once needed to make Cinderelly's dress. This time, though, there was no sardonic grin on the cat's face. At least Jaq could take some small solace from that. Lucifee and his mistress didn't hold all the cards this time, and he knew it. Hence the pompous display of guarding Tremaine's side of the room.
Lucifee had pretty much done that the entire time Cinderelly and Tremaine had gone to physical therapy a few hours ago. He didn't pounce on them while the humans were gone, for fear that he and Gus still had tricks up their sleeve. Still, there was no point of trying anything on Tremaine's side of the room. As with Cinderelly and her stepmother, it was a stalemate, plain and simple.
Lucifee kept up the front even after the humans returned. Jaq could also take heart in that while Cinderelly looked refreshed after physical therapy, Tremaine looked rather winded. That's what you get after years of making Cinderelly do all the hard work, Jaq thought to himself with a grin, looking up from Lucifee's marching to Tremaine's bed. Naturally, at the moment, Tremaine was ignoring that Cinderelly's mouse friends were even there, her nose deep in some book. Almost as if, she had simply given up hope on gaining any edge over Cinderelly. At least, that's how it would've looked to anyone who hadn't observed Tremaine and Cinderelly for years. Oh no, she was planning something, or waiting for an opportunity, Jaq could sense it…
An anguished cry from the other side of the bed made Jaq scowl all over again. While he kept watching Tremaine and Lucifee like a hawk, Gus was…proving easily distracted. Again. Sighing, he scurried along the side of Cinderelly's bed to see what Gus was fussing over. When Jaq reached the nightstand, he found that Gus was struggling to hold up Cinderelly's PSP, and had an even more furious scowl than his.
"Can't believe it… Gus-Gus not in this game at all!" Gus sneered at the screen. "There's Cinderelly, Lucifee, Jaq-Jaq… but no Gus-Gus!"
Jaq could only facepalm. Cinderelly was stuck in here with that sadistic hag of a stepmother, and THAT was what Gus was worried about the most!? At least Cinderelly's still putting up a brave front, Jaq noted hopefully, looking up at his friend. Having had enough of trolling Tremaine by ignoring her in favor of playing that PSP, Cinderelly was simply reading a newspaper instead. Which had the added benefit of blocking her stepmother from view altogether. Curious as to what Cinderelly was reading, Jaq scampering up her left arm, pretty much the only limb of hers that wasn't covered in bandages or a cast. When he reached her shoulder, he was horrified to discover Cinderelly was reading…the sports section. Specifically, the pages about her boxing match and a recap about it. At the distance Cinderelly held the paper, it was hard to make out the small print. Unfortunately, the look in Cinderelly's still-bruised and slightly puffy eye… It was all too clear that what was being written about her was getting to her, despite the aloof front she put up just hours ago. Jaq was doubly grateful for the newspaper keeping Tremaine from getting a good look at Cinderelly.
Of course, that meant he and Cinderelly couldn't keep an eye on Tremaine and Lucifee either. And when Jaq heard Tremaine slam her book shut, he quickly scampered back over to the nightstand. Whatever she was going to do next… He and Gus had to keep an eye on her, be ready for anything…
Just as he made it there, she was transferring herself to a wheelchair. "Well, my child, since it's still a few hour until dinner is served, I believe I'll be going elsewhere until then," said Tremaine smoothly.
"Oh, are you?" Cinderelly replied with equal smoothness, lowering her paper to smirk quizzically at her stepmother.
"Oh yes. I hear there's some live entertainment being provided here, some standup routine courtesy of a volunteer," said Tremaine as she rolled her wheelchair close to the door. "I'd invite you to join me, but as I suspected, you seem content to read scathing recaps of your disastrous boxing match with Kitty Pryde. If you're still perseverating, perhaps that concussion was worse than your physicians thought," she finished silkily, glancing down at Cinderelly's paper. Jaq's face fell as Cinderelly couldn't help but glance down at what she inadvertently showed her stepmother. Tremaine made a wild guess about what Cinderelly was reading, and hit the bull's-eye.
For the moment, Cinderelly's was nonplussed, unsure of what to fire back with, and Tremaine seized that opening. "I understand how galling it must be, to be eviscerated in the press after training for months and giving that fight everything you had. Almost as galling as the realization of how necessary such a venture was in the first place."
Now the glare Cinderelly's was fixing her stepmother with was more challenging than flummoxed. A good sign, but Jaq feared Tremaine was saving the worst for last. She finally found an opening, and knowing Tremaine, she'd milk it for all it was worth.
"It's time to face facts, Cinderella. The world we find ourselves in… It has changed a great deal, and in many ways, it has passed you by. Your kind of story, your kind of message… It really has no place anymore in today's environment. The fact that our world had to be joined by those Marvels simply underscores that fact. These days, it's not heroines who simply get through adversity with hope and love that people wish to hear about. No, now people expect their heroines to command the elements and blast whoever's in their way with lighting, or become absurdly tall green wrecking machines, or choke the life out of some poor soul with invisible forcefields, or… Well, I think you get the idea," Tremaine finished with another nasty smirk.
Cinderelly's gaze was still challenging, steely. But Jaq knew Cinderelly better than most of the mice, and knew her stepmother's words were hitting home regardless. She was basically hammering home was Cinderelly had been mulling about anyway. Still, the days where Cinderelly would simply take the abuse were over. "Ah, so you're saying I went with the boxing match because I felt I had no choice, even after the X-Men showed up?"
"That's exactly what I'm saying, my dear," Tremaine said evilly. "To compete in this new environment, having another adventure where one jumps off a carriage will not suffice." Despite herself, Cinderelly scowled again. She was getting VERY tired of people dwelling on that. "Hence, agreeing to all that training. But as we saw, a bit of weight training and practice at hand-to-hand combat doesn't put you on the same plane as these superheroines. Even when they DON'T use their superpowers! And even before those Marvels showed up… Mulan, Kida, that new girl who can use a frying pan and her HAIR as deadly weapons… Obsolescence was becoming your fate well before any X-Woman crossed your path. And to be honest…I don't know whether to feel cheated or overjoyed. In the end, I didn't need to break you. Changing times and irrelevance did it for me."
For her part, Cinderelly's face remained a serene mask, almost like carved marble. No way to truly tell if she was reeling and seething at a glance, but Jaq knew her too well. She wasn't so weak that she'd crumble from this, though. She'd eaten worse from her stepmother. But being weak didn't mean Cinderelly couldn't feel the sting of such words. Strength and courage, all too often, meant the opposite.
The two women stared each other down a few moments more. Then, to Jaq's surprise, it was Tremaine who broke eye contact, looking down to her cat. "Lucifer, come! You can hide under a blanket on my lap." When Lucifee didn't immediate hop up, Tremaine snapped, "There is nothing here those mice can sabotage that we cannot check for ourselves. Now come!"
With one last defiant glare aimed up at Jaq, Lucifee marched across the hospital room and did as Tremaine bid. But as Tremaine had rolled halfway out the door, Cinderelly finally spoke up. "Stepmother," she said simply. The wheelchair skid to a halt. "If I, and my entire life story, has been rendered obsolete by modern times… What does that say about the one who tried to break me for years and failed?"
Cinderelly hadn't even been looking Tremaine's way, as if voicing that was an afterthought. A display of cool insouciance. The kind that cut Tremaine to the quick. Glowering at her stepdaughter one last time, Tremaine finally wheeled her way out and slammed the door behind her.
Hanging her head, Cinderelly exhaled with relief. As Jaq feared, Tremaine driving home what Cinderelly had been mulling over for months had cut deep. Refusing to let that stand, Jaq scurried over and stood on Cinderelly's knee. "Don't listen to her, Cinderelly. She just a sore loser. Every time she's there to try and break Cinderelly, it's lose lose lose. And this time, a lot of broken bones for her trouble. And if she tries to give Cinderelly any more trouble, us mice-mice are here to give her double the trouble!" That is, if Gus would ever pull himself away from that PSP. He was STILL over on that nightstand, scowling at the screen!
Cinderelly opened her eyes to look warmly down on Jaq. "Oh, I'm sure you two will," she said with a smile, but it soon faded almost completely. "But as for her broken bones… Well, in case you missed it, I'm sporting quite a few myself. And because of them, we're all stuck together the next few days. And even when we're out of here… Like it or not, she's right, Jaq. Maybe… maybe happily ever after isn't quite the perfect ending to a story after all. Because even when your life changes for the better, other things can keep changing, too…"
Jaq wasn't sure what to say about that. Tremaine COULDN'T win this latest war of words and attrition, she just couldn't. But as the mouse pondered his options, he became dimly aware of a strange prickling in his fur. Strange but familiar, and if it was what Jaq suspected… Something that brought discomfort along with possible hope.
"Oh, brother," Jaq muttered as he looked around. Sure enough, a sparkly ball of light and energy had appeared in the middle of the hospital room, nearly blinding them. Then, at last, the sparkly light faded, to reveal none other than Cinderelly's Fairy Godmother. "Oh great, Cinderelly can't be feeling THAT close to giving up hope!" Jaq grumbled. The Fairy Godmother could only appear if hope remained in your heart, but only when its light was in danger of fading completely did she tend to be drawn out.
Cinderelly looked up just as the Fairy Godmother had fully materialized. "Agreed. This is COMPLETELY different from when it looked like there'd be no night at the ball for me," she said blankly.
"Nevertheless, it looks like you could use a little help all the same, my child," said the Fairy Godmother sweetly. Jaq bristled a little. Something…unusual always happened to him while she was around. But it sounded like she was here for one reason and one reason only. "For starters, just a wave of a wand, and all those bones can be mended, leaving a certain stepmother to stew in her own bitterness…"
Now THAT sounded like a dream come true to Jaq! Getting stuck with Tremaine and Lucifee again wasn't exactly Jaq's idea of a good time. Unfortunately, Cinderelly didn't look quite so elated. "Until midnight I'd wager, when they'd all shatter again," she said dully.
"Well, uh, not exactly, my child," the Fairy Godmother said quickly. "But you see, we could…"
"Fairy Godmother, don't get me wrong, it's always good to see you again," Cinderelly went on. "But this is one of those times that magic won't fix a thing, especially when it'll amount to running away from a problem rather than fixing it."
"M-M-M-My dear, you should know better than to take the ramblings of that, t-t-t-that sociopath to heart!" the Fairy Godmother stammered in protest.
"Vile as she can be, Fairy Godmother, she was right about a few things," said Cinderelly, though that admittance clearly tore at her soul. "Perhaps tales like ours… aren't worth telling anymore. That doesn't mean that trying to escape the fallout of TRYING to make it in this new world with Marvels will improve anything for any of us."
"Maybe I was wrong, my dear. It sounds like you HAVE given up hope after all!" the Fairy Godmother spat back.
"Call it a reluctance to take the easy way out of a situation where Stepmother and I are on equal footing. Well what footing there can be when both of us are in wheelchairs," Cinderelly went on with a dry laugh. "The moral quandaries aside, about having a few shattered bones mended and skipping off while others in here are slowly dying of cancer or something, I won't give her the satisfaction of knowing I used Fairy Godmother magic as an escape hatch, rather than tackle her mind games head-on."
"Oh, it's getting clear you haven't learned a thing!" the Fairy Godmother fumed, storming about the hospital room. "You let your face get tenderized the other night because you felt the times called for it, and now you're risking letting that stepmother of yours get into your head all over again!? And for what, sheer pride!? Just to say that you can beat Lady Tremaine at her own game?"
That last bit from the Fairy Godmother seemed to make something shine in Cinderelly's eyes. Not a warm light, like reflected hope, however. No, something that made Jaq's fur prickle all over again.
"Beat her…at her own game," Cinderelly replied, mostly to herself. "Yes, I hadn't really thought of it in those terms before. Clearly, I'm not really cut out for physical combat if it lands me in here, falling robot body parts or no…"
"You went the distance in a boxing match with an X-WOMAN! One that knew ninjitsu, at that!" shrilled her Fairy Godmother. "Most MEN can't even claim to have done something that crazy, let alone princesses…"
"I've already been doing my best to drive her mad with cool indifference, and up until a few minutes ago it had worked. But maybe, just maybe, there's another way to settle things once and for all. Show her I'm not afraid to play dirty," Cinderelly went on, ignoring her. "So what if I can't compete with our new 'friends' among the Marvels physically? Even this Kitty Pryde doesn't get by on her ninjitsu skills alone. No, she has other means…"
"Yes yes yes, she's a computer genius on top of walking through walls and punching in faces," the Fairy Godmother agreed reluctantly. "That's not the point. You want to prove you can equal that Kitty in other ways? Please don't do it by trapping yourself with the borderline sociopath that knows how to get into your head like none other. With that odious Deadpool being on the premises on top of that!"
Jaq had no idea what that last bit met, and Cinderelly was just as flummoxed. "Deadpool?" she repeated, the frustration out of her voice. "Why Fairy Godmother, who is this…Deadpool?"
"Well, he's not an X-Man for certain, or even a mutant, but he's closely associated with them," said the Fairy Godmother. "He's a mercenary of the worst sort. A lecherous, amoral, unpredictable psychopath that's little more than a walking tumor underneath that horrid costume! That talks. A lot. Given how quickly he regenerates, he's not here to recuperate, to be certain. No, supposedly he's here to entertain people hurt in the House of Mouse debacle. But just knowing your occupying the same building as that mental case… I-I-I-I just can't…"
She trailed off when she noticed Cinderelly staring at her, eyes wide with shock. Jaq could guess why. Then, suddenly, Cinderelly gave in to a violent fit of laughter, one that flung Jaq to the foot of the bed. And she kept laughing, until the way it aggravated her battered and broken body couldn't be ignored. Wincing as she hissed through gritted teeth, she turned back to her Fairy Godmother. "You mean… Stepmother went to see a comedy routine by someone too crazy for the X-Men!?" she shrieked with delight. "Oh, if I could only see her face when she finds out…"
"Yes yes yes, as amusing as that may be, perhaps it might be best to ferret you elsewhere, away from the both of them?" the Fairy Godmother suggested delicately.
But once again, Cinderelly was clearly tuning her out. "And you said this Deadpool fellow… He is a mercenary of sorts?" Jaq couldn't really see Cinderelly well from the extreme angle at the foot of her bed. But what he could make out… The gears were turning in her head. Usually, seeing her plot to thwart her family was a good thing, but right then, it gave Jaq the chills. "Then I'd wager, given how… unstable you make him out to be, Deadpool's brought along his weapons, hospital security guidelines be damned."
Jaq was aghast at her sudden interest in weapons. That was NOT how Cinderelly worked. And Gus clearly felt the same way. He FINALLY got over grumping about that PSP game and scurried up to Cinderelly's left shoulder. "Wanting weapons? Guns? That's not like Cinderelly, not the Cinderelly's us mice-mice always knew!"
Cinderelly reached up to gently stroke Gus's head. "Oh don't be silly, Gus. I don't need any of Deadpool's guns. Rather, I merely need some of his…ammunition."
"Ammunition?" the Fairy Godmother repeated dubiously. "You mean…bullets? Child, if it's not guns you desire, why on Earth would you need…"
"So Gus, Jaq… The more things change, the more they stay the same," Cinderelly went on, ignoring her Fairy Godmother yet again. "Given my present condition, I'm hardly in any position to… borrow some of Deadpool' ammunition. I hate to ask but… Are you two up for yet another retrieval job?"
Gus nodded enthusiastically, but Jaq still had reservations. Oh, not about helping Cinderelly get her hands on something that only they mice could retrieve. He was just uneasy about this newfound willingness of Cinderelly to get in the gutter with her stepmother. Still, if it ended with Tremaine and Lucifee getting humiliated and humbled yet again…
Her Fairy Godmother stepped forward yet again, opening her mouth, but Cinderelly cut her off before she could speak. "And Fairy Godmother, if you want to help, there IS something else I need. Something only you could possibly retrieve in time."
"And what would that be, my child?" Fairy Godmother asked dubiously. At first, her only answer was a wicked grin from Cinderelly that would do MALEFICENT proud…
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It was insane, what Cinderelly wanted to do. Too many things could go wrong. But as far as Gus could tell, if all the pieces fell into place, her stepmother would curse the day she set out to abuse and break her. High risk, high reward.
But they still had to assemble all the pieces to the puzzle, and not much time to do it in. What the Fairy Godmother had to do… That was no real worry. But given her inherently peaceful nature, retrieving anything to do with weapons and war was more or less forbidden to her. Which means getting the bullets is up to us mice-mice! Gus thought proudly. Yet another crazy adventure to help Princess Cinderelly!
And so, he and Jaq made their way through the inner workings of the hospital, between the walls, across arrays of pipes. It wasn't exactly the easiest and most passable innards of a human dwelling they had worked their way through. But they had made it to Cinderelly's room before Lucifee, and now, they were making their way to the auditorium where this Deadpool fellow was doing some comedy routine.
It was dark, this place that was supposed to be underneath the stage. Rodents typically didn't have the greatest vision to begin with, so keeping his footing while walking across sheaves of wires and pipes was as difficult as ever for Gus. More than once, Jaq had to reach back and grab Gus to pull him back up. But Gus knew they were getting close. This Deadpool was supposed to be a loose-lipped chatterbox, and, well… SOMEONE'S mouth was running a mile a minute on that stage above.
At last, Jaq found a small hole in the floorboards above, and promptly squeezed through. Naturally, it was a tight fit for Gus, and Jaq had to pull the rotund mouse out. When Jaq finally pulled Gus free, Gus slammed into him, making the two roll across the stage. As they untangled themselves, the mice found themselves uncomfortably close to a pair of red-and-black boots that were constantly shuffling across the stage. Looking up in case they had to avoid this guy's feet, Gus saw this he was covered head to toe in some bizarre red-and-black suit. And the black splotches over the white eyelets… They seemed to MOVE expressively!
"And then I announced in no uncertain terms… 'I'm touching myself tonight!'" said Deadpool with mic in hand, oblivious to the mice at his feet. And if Lucifee was hiding under that blanket still, hopefully he would be too. At any rate, whatever the punch line was for Deadpool's last… statement, it must've been good, because the whole audience erupted in laughter.
Well, almost everyone. Looking out into the audience, Gus saw Tremaine in her wheelchair. It seemed she was the ONLY one not laughing one bit. On the contrary, she looked absolutely disgusted and mortified, as if she wanted to sink into that wheelchair so no one saw her at Deadpool's little show. Gus wondered if she had even yet to learn Deadpool had connections to the X-Men.
A paw on Gus's shoulder, pulling him back, made him look to behind the stage. Somewhere back there, hopefully, Deadpool had stashed some of his weapons and ammunition, hospital security be damned.
Sure enough, stowed behind the back curtains, were a couple of duffel bags stuffed to the brim. Hopefully, it would be a simple matter to squeeze in, take a few bullets, and get out before Deadpool was any wiser. Jaq unzipped part of one bag just enough to wiggle his way in.
Gus was about to follow Jaq, but suddenly he heard Deadpool's voice boom the absolute LAST thing he ever expect the mercenary to utter. "And you, little lady, heard you were married twice. Well, maybe third time's the charm." And in the most suggestive tone Gus had heard a human use, ever. Looking back, there Deadpool was, out in the audience. Squatting next to Tremaine's wheelchair, an arm over her shoulder, his head practically inches from Tremaine's. And with the way his mask mimicked facial expressions… It was clear he was repeatedly raising his eyebrows. As for Tremaine… She was disgusted before, but now looked ready to explode.
Even if they didn't find any bullets for Cinderelly, just seeing that made the trip worthwhile. Gus just hoped Lucifee didn't try to defend his mistress's honor. Healing powers or no, Deadpool didn't need to go through that.
Fortunately, it wasn't too hard to find loose magazines, extract some bullets, and get out of the duffel bag. They had grabbed as many as they could possibly hold. But just like with kernels of corn back at the chateau, holding ONTO them while running for dear life was a bit of a challenge. To make things worse, it's not like they could navigate the path they took here with armfuls of bullets. Thankfully, Cinderelly was waiting nearby to retrieve them. So, the two mice skittered back across the stage to the front, carefully jumping down the stairs at the sides. Jaq, naturally, had no trouble. But as fate would have it, one of the bullets Gus was holding popped loose as he jumped off the last step, and his foot landed right on top of it. Gus caught a quick glimpse of Jaq's 'Really, Gus?' look as Gus sailed by, trying to keep balance on a spinning bullet, until he slammed face-first into a wall, ammunition scattering everywhere.
Mercifully, judging by how Deadpool's mouth was STILL running at full speed, and the audience was still laughing, no one was the wiser. But the dreadful silence from Tremaine's cold fury was still louder than all of that. Wanting nothing more than to get out of that auditorium, Gus scrambled to pick up all the dropped bullets, then hauled ass after Jaq. All the attendees were still too transfixed by Deadpool's act to notice a couple mice boosting his ammunition. And Tremaine was no doubt glaring daggers at the merc with a mouth.
In no time at all, Gus and Jaq were back out in the hospital halls, where Cinderelly was waiting in her wheelchair. She was only a few yards away, motioning for them to climb aboard so she could ferret them away. The coast was clear, the heist was going off without a hitch, so Gus sped along the edge of the wall, daring to hope Cinderelly's scheme could reach fruition…
And then there was a flash of light, and a moment later, something was suddenly thrust right in front of Gus. Once again, bullets flew everywhere as he slammed into something quite solid. But this time, it felt…cold. Like steel. Looking up, he saw what looked to be a… sword? Thrust right into where the wall and floor met. As he looked to find just who could've stuck it there, Gus gulped as he that Deadpool had appeared out of nowhere, now leaning uncomfortably close to Cinderelly!
"Now then, beautiful," said Deadpool, but there was no flirtatiousness in his voice now. "The reason you had your critters boost some ammo… Could it be because you plan something senseless and irresponsible, something unbecoming of a princess of you stature, and could get you publicly executed in most countries? Or Jacksonville, Florida?" Oh no, now Deadpool sounded serious. Dead serious, wanting answers.
And Cinderelly had no idea how to respond to this wacko, frozen in shock as her eyes went wide while Deadpool hovered over her. "Well, sort of…"
And in a flash, Deadpool's entire demeanor shifted. He tapped his fingertips together, looking positively giddy. "Oh goody goody goody, just checking. Do continue, then. But do do me a favor and snap some pictures of whatever chaos ensues. And do tell your stepmother to call me once she's out of the hospital and ready to… experiment." He finished with a guttural tiger growl. Still frozen in place, Cinderelly could only move her eyes, looking down at Gus. He could only shrug his shoulders. Sometimes humans were hard to figure out, but even by human standards, this Deadpool was just… off. But Deadpool wasn't finished. "Oh, and speaking of photos…" As with Tremaine, Deadpool reached in to sling his arm around Cinderelly. "SELFIE!" he cried as he whipped out his smartphone and snapped a picture, just as Cinderelly's gaze nervously swept his way.
For a few moments, Cinderelly was still hopelessly frozen from shock, even after Deadpool retrieved his sword and skipped off down the hospital's halls. It took Jaq climbing up to her shoulder to snap her out of it. "Cinderelly! If show's over, your stepmother and Lucifee'll be coming out! Got to move!"
Thankfully, Cinderelly got the hint quick. "Right, right! Gus, got all the bullets up?" He had just scooped up the last of the stolen ammunition , and ran to dump them in a satchel hidden behind Cinderelly's cast-bound right foot. Gus held on for dear life as Cinderelly took off in her wheelchair, with him still standing on its foot guard. He slid behind her foot next to the satchel, occasionally peeking out as Cinderelly sped through the hospital. It wasn't exactly an unpleasant ride, but Gus knew they had very little time to get everything in place. And for the next phase, they had to conduct their business in a place Tremaine wouldn't stumble upon them.
Naturally, Cinderelly chose the garden in the hospital's interior courtyard, where the flowers were all in full bloom. Hopefully, the bountiful beauty of nature with repel the old hag that that weirdo Deadpool wanted to… Gus vehemently shook his head, hoping he'd forget about all that by tomorrow. "Gus, the satchel," he heard Cinderelly say, snapping him back to the present. Looking out from behind her foot, Gus saw Cinderelly's fingers wiggle. Grabbing the satchel and pushing it out into her hand, Gus then scurried up to her shoulder, where Jaq had hidden in her hair. They looked down to the plate Cinderelly had on her lap. On it, she worked on the first round, using a pair of pliers the mice stole from a toolbox beforehand. It wasn't hard, and soon the bullet part was removed, the gunpowder was dumped all over the plate. Then Cinderelly was busy with the next one…
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Any respect Tremaine may still have had for these Marvels had been expulsed from her being with the vehemence of projectile vomit. That oaf Juggernaut… it wasn't his fault that Maleficent caused his overly voluminous person to come crashing down on her. But if those Marvels counted that uncouth mercenary among their number… Tremaine shuddered, unable to banish the lewd jokes Deadpool kept making from her mind. That was bad enough, but then Deadpool had the gall to be so… FORWARD with her!
"Small wonder Cinderella had such trouble when thrown in the ring with one of those Marvels. Being able to tolerate such a… THING as an ally speaks volumes about their collective mental state," Tremaine grumbled as she wheeled her way back to their room. She heard Lucifer grumble in her lap, still concealed by a blanket. She practically had to silently will Lucifer to not expose himself and maul that horrid excuse of a man. What good would it have done when dealing with someone who, on top of being the poster child for crudeness, was best known for not dying?
But as they neared the door to their room, Tremaine felt Lucifer tense. "Lucifer, keep calm!" Tremaine hissed through gritted teeth. But this time, Lucifer refused to obey, poking his head out to look at something. Following her cat's gaze, Tremaine spotted a cart being used to carry prepared meals. Specifically, meals for Cinderella and herself.
For a moment, Tremaine reflected on just how weird it was that BOTH of them were being waited on hand and foot, in a manner of speaking. But then she noticed how uptight Lucifer still was. It wasn't just hunger that had Lucifer worked up, it couldn't have been. No, there was an aura of bloodlust about him, and the way vehemently sniffed the air…
"Ah, I see. Those mice," said Tremaine. Given how the nursing assistant was in their room attending other matters at the moment, Tremaine lifted the lid on one plate. No mouse lingering within. No, Cinderella wasn't going to pull that practical joke for real this time. She was just about to put the lid back down, but something caught Tremaine's watchful eye. Some sort of powdery substance on the edge of the plate, and rather dark at that. And what was that in it? A shape? A…pawprint?
Scooping it up with her fingertip and sniffing it, Tremaine's brow furrowed. "Gunpowder," she muttered. "So, my stepdaughter had her rodent minions appropriate some of that Deadfool's ammunition, extract the gunpowder, and lace my dinner with it?" As galling as that was, Tremaine couldn't help but smile. "I'm almost impressed, Cinderella. Rather than have those mice cause mischief in our room, you sent them elsewhere to do your dirty work. And an unexpected willingness to sink to such depths… Clever, stepdaughter, but not clever enough." Looking down at the slip next to the plate, she saw that, indeed, this dish was meant for her. With a wicked grin, Tremaine quickly switched the plates, then wheeled herself back in, effortlessly putting on an innocent face.
It wasn't long before Cinderella herself wheeled her way back in as well. After transferring herself back into her bed, their nursing assistant helped set up their meals. Lucifer and those two mice just stared at each other from across the room, though Lucifer's face thankfully didn't let on that their scheme was uncovered. And as was the case last night, they ate in silence, not saying a word to each other, hardly ever looking in each other's direction. Which suited Tremaine just fine. Despite a lifetime of practice when it came to deception, she didn't even trust herself to let slip too soon how she uncovered Cinderella's ploy. No, such a revelation had to come at just the right time. The few times Tremaine glanced over a Cinderella though, watching for telltale signs of her trap backfiring on her, she noticed something odd. A small jar of…something Cinderella was spreading over her food. Whatever it was, it hadn't come with their dishes. A minor detail, Tremaine told herself. Who cares if she got something extra for herself? She's about to get more than she bargained for.
But as both of them wrapped up their meals, Cinderella abruptly broke the silence. "Gunpowder does add an awfully tangy aftertaste to a meal, doesn't it stepmother?"
At last, all the self-control Tremaine had mustered slipped away, her face twisting into the most smug grin imaginable. "Oh, I wouldn't know, my child," she said silkily. "After all, I…"
"I wasn't talking about the gunpowder that was just put in your food," Cinderella cut in, smacking her lips. "I meant what was in my dish."
Tremaine could only stare back at Cinderella blankly. She…KNEW her dish was laced with gunpowder, and ate the whole thing anyway!? she wondered incredulously. Out loud, she simply said, "Care to elaborate, daughter?"
Cinderella shrugged her shoulders, which made her wince due to her shattered clavicle. Once she was over that, she merely said, "It's simple, really. I figured you may find the extra…ingredient I had Jaq and Gus add to your dinner. So in case you switched them, I told them to lace BOTH dishes with gunpowder. Which was provided courtesy of that charming, outgoing mercenary who was here earlier." She finished that last bit with an insufferably smug grin of her own.
Tremaine was far too flabbergasted to care about that degenerate being mentioned again. At length, she finally found her voice again. "Y-Y-Y-You were willing to endure the same torment, just to get to me?"
"Oh, it's really of no bother to me, stepmother. You see, in the old days Drizella and Anastasia, from time to time, would add some rather unsavory stuff to what food I was provided. They say that that sort of adversity builds character? Well, for me, it built intestines of steel," Cinderella explained, pointing her left thumb at herself. "For an example… did Drizella and Anastasis tell you about that dare of theirs from last month? Wait, on second thought, it's no surprise if they neglected to mention it…"
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A month or so ago, there was an incident in Cinderella's castle. One that had Prince Charming and the Grand Duke staring blankly at the far end of the royal dining table, Anastasia and Drizella looking ready to throw up, and Prudence repeatedly smacking her head against a pillar.
And what could have caused such diverse reactions? Well, seated near Cinderella were Timon and Pumbaa, who looked ready to pass out. Cinderella's stepsisters had dared her to challenge the meerkat and warthog to a bug-eating contest. The end result? Cinderella stuffing her face with wild abandon even after Timon and Pumbaa began to falter. As the meerkat and warthog slid out of their chairs, both a sickly shade of green, Cinderella more or less ignored them as she leaned back and helped herself to another handful of beetles and worms…
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"It certainly helped add extra protein to my diet in preparation for the boxing match," Cinderella said brightly. "Oh, and if you wondered if there was any truth to the rumors of Charming importing an exorbitant supply of mouthwash, you know now."
Tremaine said nothing for a good long while. She wasn't sure what did more to stay her tongue, the way Cinderella was so flippant about laying such a foolproof trap, or that this girl she long deemed too innocent and pure to stoop to such pranks actually DID it. "S-S-S-S-So you won't feel any ill effects," Tremaine forced herself to say, "w-w-w-while I-I-I…"
It hit like a tsunami, a wave of nausea and vertigo, on top of suddenly getting what could only be described as a case of bubonic super-Montezuma's Revenge. It was nothing short of a miracle, the fact that she managed to transfer herself back to her wheelchair without exploding out either end. And the trip across their hospital room… How a trek of twenty feet or so can suddenly seem like miles, where each agonized spin of your wheels feels like it'll be your last…before you soil yourself. And worst of all, when she glanced one final time over at Cinderella's bed… Though she could hear those infernal vermin laughing their asses off, Cinderella's face was as serene as it was smug. Simply smiling as she watched her stepmother's agonizing trek to the bathroom, and most surprising and frighteningly, without a hint of mercy or remorse.
Just as with the actual trek to the bathroom, the passage of time was a blur for Tremaine. Minutes? Hours? She had no idea how long it was before she could be certain it was all out. When she finally wheeled her way back out, barely able to due to feeling weak as a kitten, she caught a glimpse of her cat still perched at the foot of her bed, glaring daggers at the occupants one the other side. As expected, Cinderella was simply ignoring Lucifer, and was entirely unfazed by the death glare Tremaine herself was giving her. A death glare meant to cover up how drained she now was, physically and emotionally. Getting overconfident, falling deeper into that girl's trap, and paying a hefty price for it. Well played, stepdaughter. This round is yours, Tremaine silently admitted, albeit with reluctance, as she transferred herself back into her bed. Though it was an agonizing ordeal, she refused to call a nursing assistant for help. No showing any weakness in front of her stepdaughter. At least, no more than necessary tonight.
Even in that, Tremaine feared she had failed. Though she pulled off the transfer, she was hopelessly out of breath for several minutes afterwards. Eventually, her breathing steadied, and she could focus her gaze on the other side of the room. There Cinderella was, still meeting her gaze smugly, flush with victory. Incensed, Tremaine couldn't keep the cracks from forming in her armor of regality and chilly calm. "I suppose this is the part where you gloat about how you're more dangerous than people give you credit for, and that you're not afraid to sink to unheard-of depths of depravity."
"Actually…I wasn't planning on anything of the sort," Cinderella said simply. Though there was an aura of…danger to her words. "I was just waiting on the other thing added to kick in."
Tremaine's armor, her composure, now fell away completely. "There was…something ELSE put in!?" she demanded, incredulous. Tonight was going to get even WORSE!?
"Oh, not in your food," Cinderella replied with a sweetness that belied just how craven she had become. "Something I added to mine. That weird paste from that little jar, which you may have noticed? It was what remained of Snow White's attempt to make a new dish with Gummi Berries."
Tremaine just stared at Cinderella nonplussed for a moment, racking her brains. Then she recalled just WHY Kitty Pryde stepped in for Snow White the other night. "Y-Y-You mean, the thing that put Snow White and her dwarves in the hospital as well!?" she demanded. "Why would you eat that YOURSELF, if…"
Cinderella cut her off by wagging her finger. "Ah, you're already forgetting, intestines of steel. For a normal person like Snow White, severe dysentery is the end result of that new concoction. For me, all it should do is…" Cinderella's fingers flew to her lips in an ostentatious show of mock embarrassment, followed by an ominous gurgling from her stomach.
Still staring blankly at her stepdaughter, Tremaine then heard a faint shifting sound on the nightstand beside her. Tremaine looked to see that those two mice had just put on tiny gas masks. Realization hit Tremaine harder than the Juggernaut could ever have hoped to as she looked back over to Cinderella. If she had looked smug before, now she was brimming with psychopathic glee. "Y-Y-You, you WOULDN'T. You're a p-p-p-princess now! You could NEVER stoop to such banality, and…"
And right then, in the hallway right outside their room… The imminent expulsion of incomprehensible foulness could not have been heard by any staff passing by. However, if they had listened closely, they could have heard what might be mistaken for severe emphysema setting in for an elderly patient. And perhaps anyone paying attention might have seen Lucifer jumping up onto the window, his eyes bugged-out and bloodshot, the furry face pressed up to the glass full of dread and agony. And his claws left gouges on the other side of the glass as he slid down helplessly, eventually tumbling off, succumbing to the overwhelming stank.