Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter 21 – I Didn't Mean To

"I'm fine," said Rory in a weak voice. She was sitting on her bed facing Joanna and doing her best to avoid making eye contact.

"No you're not," Joanna said knowingly.

Rory took a deep breath. The last five minutes of her conversation with Honor had left her nerves unsteady. And unfortunately, Joanna seemed to be gearing up for something. "I'm fine," she repeated.

"Clearly, you're not."

"Look, it's nothing…really. Honor just caught me off guard that's all," she claimed. "Tristan being in Hartford was not something I anticipated and I certainly didn't expect that we'd be traveling in the same social circles."

"There's more to it than that," argued Joanna, "otherwise you wouldn't have reacted the way you did."

"How did I react?" asked Rory defensively.

"Like someone who isn't over her ex," she answered bluntly.

Rory shot out off the bed taking great offense at that accusation. "You know that's not true," she yelled. "Tristan means nothing to me."

Joanna kept her composure despite Rory's raised voice and calmly replied, "If that was true, you wouldn't have freaked out back there."

"I was just surprised," she insisted. "Honor brought him up out of no where."

"Oh give it up, Rory. You need to face this…this…this…whatever this thing is that you have with Tristan. Running away from it or pretending it doesn't exist is not going to make it go away."

"I don't have anything going on with Tristan. We're done. We've been done. We're so done. He doesn't exist to me."

"Rory…"

"No," she continued to yell. "I don't care about Tristan anymore. I am so over him. I'm with Logan now. It's Logan I care about now."

"I'm not saying you don't care about Logan," said Joanna. Rory was getting too riled up and if she was going to accomplish anything with this conversation, she needed to calm her down a bit. "In fact, I'm pretty sure you're at least halfway to being in love with him, but obviously you and Tristan have some unfinished business. And if you don't want it to interfere with what you and Logan have…"

"Nothing is going to interfere with me and Logan," she interrupted. Her eyes filled with anger and panic at the very idea. "I will not let anything come between us. Not now. Not after how long I've waited for us to be together."

"That's exactly my point, Rory," said Joanna, her voice now slightly elevated. She remained seated on the bed and took a breath to calm herself before asking, "How long have you been waiting to be with Logan?"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Answer the question."

"A long time," she answered dryly. "You know how long I've had feelings for him."

"And how did these feelings affect your relationship with Tristan?"

"They didn't," she said defensively.

"Are you sure about that?"

"Of course I'm sure," she shouted with as much conviction as she could muster. However, deep down she knew it was a lie. "I'm sure," she repeated.

"Rory…"

"I'm sure," she said a bit louder, hoping to convince herself as much as Joanna. Unfortunately, it had the opposite effect. The more she said it the less she believed it herself.

"Rory. Stop."

"No. You stop," she pleaded. Her heart began to race as a myriad of emotions attacked her—confusion being the main one. It frustrated her that she was standing there, yelling at Joanna, on the verge of tears, and for the life of her, she wasn't even sure what exactly she was upset about. "Why are you doing this?"

"Rory, I'm just trying to help you."

"I don't need any help. I'm fine. Everything's fine."

"Then why can't you talk about Tristan? If you're as over him as you say you are, why are you so upset right now? And why did you freeze up when Honor mentioned him?"

"I already told you. I was just surprised," insisted Rory. She began pacing back and forth across her room. "Honor caught me off guard. I mean…she's my boyfriend's sister and she's sitting there gushing about how sweet and gorgeous my ex-boyfriend is. You don't think that warrants a little surprise?"

Joanna seemed to think about that for a moment. She could see how upset Rory was becoming and wanted to comfort her. However, she knew the best thing she could do for her friend right now was to help her release everything she'd been bottling up about Tristan. Therefore, Joanna maintained her course of action. She continued to read the array of expressions crossing the face of a still pacing Rory and pushed the conversation forward. "I admit the situation was a tad…bizarre, but I think we both know there's more to it than you just being surprised."

Rory stopped dead in her tracks and glared at her. "Like what?" she challenged.

"You know what."

"No, I don't. I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about," yelled Rory.

Joanna looked sympathetically at her. "Ok, fine. You don't want to admit it, fine. I'm just going to come right out and say it. You're with Logan. You're happy with Logan. I believe that. You and Tristan are completely broken up. You no longer have any romantic interest in him. I believe that too. But no matter how much you want to believe that you and Tristan are over, you're not. The two of you may have broken up, but you're not finished."

"You don't know what you're talking about," muttered Rory.

"What happened the night of the party? The night you and Tristan broke up?"

"I don't want to talk about that night," declared Rory her eyes suddenly blazing with anger.

"Rory…"

"No!" she shouted. "I'm not talking about that night. Not now! Not ever!"

Joanna sighed. She recognized that stubborn look in Rory's eyes and knew she had to try a different approach. "All right, let's start with an easier question. What made you decided to go to Yale instead of Harvard?"

"What?" she asked genuinely surprised. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"It's kind of where it all started isn't it? All your problems with Tristan began when you chose Yale over Harvard. Now, I was under the impression that you were attending Harvard…that your mind was already made up. Then out of no where, you announce that you're going to Yale. Why?"

Rory wasn't expecting this particular line of questioning. "I…I wanted to be close to my family," she replied meekly.

"And?"

"I wanted to go to school with my brother. I missed him."

"And?"

"I missed my old friends…my old life. I wanted to be back in Connecticut."

"What else?"

Rory realized what she was getting at and could feel herself start to tear up. "Yale is a great school," she said stupidly, desperate to stall.

"So is Harvard. So what made you change your mind?" pushed Joanna.

"Lots of reasons," said Rory weakly.

"The deciding factor, Rory. What was it? What did Yale have that Harvard didn't?"

Rory stopped her pacing and stared at Joanna's determined, her eyes begging her friend not to make her say it out loud.

"Come on, Rory," said Joanna in a soothing voice. "What did Yale have that Harvard didn't?"

There really was no point in denying it, so she just answered the question. "Logan," she whispered. "Yale had Logan."

Joanna let out the breath she was holding. "And there was no way that Harvard could ever compete with that was there?"

Rory sobbed softly and shook her head.

"And there was no way Tristan could compete with that was there?"

Rory sobbed a bit louder and shook her head again.

"You put this all down on your pro-con list?"

"Yeah, how did you…"

"Tristan told me."

Rory gasped. "What?"

"He found your list."

Rory paled instantly. "What? How? When?" Her mind began to race and a sickening feeling made its way into her stomach.

"I don't know how. But I do know when. It was a couple of days before you two broke up."

"Oh my God." Rory sat back down on the bed. Out of no where, she was hit with an onset of nausea and weakness. Her knees were literally shaking. Her mind went into overdrive and suddenly it all made sense: Tristan's anger and cruelty that night. "He found that list? Oh my God."

"He showed up at my apartment with it. He was yelling, demanding to know what I knew about Logan."

"What did you tell him?" asked Rory.

"Nothing. I told him to talk to you."

"He never mentioned it to me. He never brought up Logan," said Rory. Thinking back, she added, "I didn't really even see him the couple of days before that party. We were in the middle of finals. I was swamped. He wasn't around much so I figured he was busy studying too." She began desperately trying to remember details of the days leading up to their break up. "I talked to him on the phone the night before the party. I wanted to go over some things about our backpacking trip and I was surprised because he'd been so excited about it, but when I brought it up that night, he was moody and distant. I thought he was just tired. He found that list?" she repeated, still having a hard time believing it. Her heart began to ache at the thought of how Tristan must have felt after reading that list. "Oh my God. Tristan."

"Yeah," sympathized Joanna. She knew what Rory was thinking. "He was a mess when he came to see me. I mean you know Tristan. He's a rock. I'd never seen Tristan cry before…never even saw him close to crying. But that night, he broke down, Rory. He was so devastated."

"Why didn't you ever tell me this before?"

"At the time, I thought I should let you two work it out. I figured you'd come talk to me after you talked to him. But then you told me you two broke up and you were so down. You wouldn't let me even mention his name. And then when you told me about the things he said that night…about the not having sex thing…I was furious. I couldn't believe he could be so cruel. I couldn't sympathize with him after that. I didn't want to. I mean…yes, he was my friend too, but you were my friend first and I wanted to be on your side. I wanted to be supportive."

"You were," said Rory remembering the ice cream and alcohol Joanna provided the days post break up. "You were a great friend to me then."

"And I'm trying to be one now," said Joanna. "I know you would rather deny Tristan's existence, especially now so you can sail into the sunset with Logan, but you two have some unresolved issues. You can't just pretend they don't exist. I know that you are really good at burying your feelings, Rory, but it's not healthy. And I think you owe it to each other to clear the air…get everything out in the open. So you both can move on…really move on."

Rory no longer tried to hold back her tears.

Seeing her defenses were now completely down, Joanna pushed forward. "Four years ago, why did you break things off with Tristan?"

Rory sighed and gave a slight chuckle. "Because I wasn't sure if I really liked him or because he reminded me so much of much of Logan. He was such a great guy. I could see how much he liked me and I didn't think it was fair to him."

Joanna nodded, appreciating her honesty. She knew it took a lot for Rory to admit that. "Why did you decide to start dating him last summer?"

Rory's brow wrinkled as she thought about that question. "Because I wanted to. I liked him."

"Really?"

"Yeah…I mean we'd been friends for such a long time. It had been three years and I still had feelings for him. At the time, I really thought I was over Logan. I hardly thought about him anymore. And Tristan was always so sweet to me…and the way he looked at me with those eyes. God, I used to get butterflies whenever I looked into those eyes. Why wouldn't I like him?"

"I'm sure you did like him, Rory. In fact, I know you did. I was there. I watched you two dance around each other for three years. I know you liked him. But I think you were right the first time."

"What do you mean?"

"I think you were right to break things off with him four years ago. I know that you liked him or at least part of you did. He was a good friend to you, to both of us. And he is incredibly beautiful so it's hard not to feel what you felt when he looked at you the way he did. But…I think after the initial infatuation wore off, what you liked most about him was…how much of Logan you saw in him. Otherwise he would have at least made your list."

Rory closed her eyes and lowered her head into her hands.

Joanna took a deep breath before adding, "I'm not saying this to be mean, Rory, but I think…I think…I think that you used Tristan to stand in for Logan."

There were those words again. Stand in. Those two little words had been haunting her ever since Logan had said them. "I didn't," she said tearfully.

"Rory," said Joanna gently reprimanding her.

"I didn't."

"Rory."

"I didn't...I didn't…mean to." A wave of guilt and sadness swept through her and she began bawling. "I didn't mean to." Despite the guilt, a part of her felt slightly relieved to admit that. Ever since the conversation with Logan the week before, she'd been trying to wipe the idea out of her head. She could hardly admit it to herself let alone to another person. So instead, she buried the notion, thinking it would be better to keep it, and all the emotions attached to it, bottled up.

Joanna sighed and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "I know you didn't."

As realization washed over her, the guilt she'd been suppressing began to invade ever cell of her body. "I never wanted to hurt him. He was such a great boyfriend. I can't believe he found that list. He must have hated me." Rory wiped away her tears with the back of her hand.

"No. He didn't hate you. Tristan loved you."

Rory cried harder. "That's worse."

Joanna pulled Rory into a comforting hug. "Shhh…breathe, Rory."

Rory continued to sob in her friend's arms for a few minutes before eventually calming down.

"You need to talk to him," Joanna whispered gently after Rory's tears seemed to subside a bit.

"No," she cried pulling away, panicked at the very thought. "How am I supposed to face him?"

"Tristan is sitting in Hartford just waiting to see you, Rory. He came all this way. He feels awful about how he ended things and he wants to apologize."

"How do you know?"

Joanna paused for a moment remembering the deal she'd made with Kevin. However, it was too late to stop now. "I know because he told me…when he called me."

"What? He called you? When?"

"A few days ago."

"Well you are just full of revelations tonight aren't you," she said with a little anger in her tone.

"I'm sorry. I wanted to tell you, but you were having so much fun and I figured it could wait until after we got back to Hartford. You wouldn't have been able to talk to him until then anyway so there really was no point in spoiling this trip. "

Rory nodded. She couldn't really argue with that.

"Besides, you wouldn't have wanted to talk about him anyway would you?"

"No, I wouldn't have," she admitted.

"We only spoke for a few minutes, but he really is desperate to talk to you."

"And you think I should…talk to him?"

"Yes. I think it would be good for you…both of you. You and Tristan meant a lot to each other for a very long time. Obviously, you still do. You shouldn't just leave things the way they are."

Rory nodded. She knew Joanna was right. And truth be told, after everything she realized tonight, she did want to resolve things with him. "Is he…I mean did he seem…ok?" The question felt strange. It had been so long since she thought of Tristan without pain or anger rising in her system.

"I don't know. He sounded better than he did the last time I talked to him, but he's definitely not the happy, carefree Tristan I remember."

Rory sighed. "Did he know you were here?"

"Yes. Apparently, he ran into someone who was at Kevin's birthday party. He didn't say who."

"News does travel fast in this circle."

"Well, he did say he was somewhat relieved to find out you weren't in Hartford," said Joanna trying to lighten the mood a bit. "That way he could put a temporary cease and decease on your daily package. Apparently, he was getting very anxious about having to brave the gates of the Hayden estate every morning."

"What?" asked a confused Rory.

"The notes and packages he's been leaving you," explained Joanna with a wrinkled brow. "He said the most nerve racking part of his day was the two minutes he spent in front of your house."

"What are you talking about?"

Joanna looked at her confused expression and said, "You have no idea what I'm talking about."

"None whatsoever."

Joanna took a moment to assess the situation. Apparently Rory hadn't been ignoring Tristan's pleas for forgiveness. She simply wasn't receiving them. "Damn that Kevin," she thought to herself. "Umm…well, Tristan said he's been leaving packages and notes at your doorstep everyday since arrived."

"What? Are you serious?"

"Yes."

"But I haven't…" She stopped talking as her brain caught on. "Kevin." Suddenly, the anger was back, in full force, and this time, it wasn't directed at Tristan. "He promised he'd stay out of it. I'm going to kill him."

"I'm sure he meant well," said Joanna although for the life of her she had no idea why she was defending Kevin. Not wanting to open that can of worms, she wrote it off as guilt for reneging on their deal.

"He always means well," she spat angrily. "Just like he meant well when he punched Logan." After saying his name, she was struck by a painful realization. "Logan. The flowers."

"What?" asked Joanna. It was her turn to be confused.

Rory's anger continued to grow. "Nothing," she muttered as she got off the bed. "I need to talk to Kevin." She straightened her stance, refocusing all the pain and guilt she was feeling into blind rage. As she walked toward the door, she mentally prepared herself for the tongue lashing she was going to inflict on her brother…and her boyfriend.

Joanna could practically see the steam coming out of her ears. "They're all probably still at Logan's. Why don't you sit and try to relax for a second. I'll go downstairs and make us some coffee and you can talk to some more."

"No," she screamed, her voice laced with venom. "I don't need to relax. I need to speak to that darling brother of mine." Before Joanna had time to respond, Rory was walking out the door.

She ran down the stairs with Joanna at her heals urging her to clam down. "Rory, slow down."

Rory ignored her. She was too angry. She needed to yell. She needed to get to wherever Kevin was and yell. "I'm going to back to Logan's to find Kevin. You don't have to come back with me."

The look in Rory's eyes told Joanna nothing she said would have stopped her from going after her brother. "I'll come with you," she said in a worried tone.

"Fine, let's go."

The two didn't have to go too far, because at that moment, the front door opened and in poured four smiling and laughing boys.

"There you are," said Kevin with a smile. "Where did you two disappear to? There's a big party down by the marina and we…thought…that…" His smile faded as he took in Joanna's serious expression and Rory's angry face. "What's going on?" he asked solemnly.

Rory glared at him with fire coming out of her eyes. "How dare you?"

"Rory?" he questioned.

"You promised me," she seethed. "You promised me you'd stay out of it and let me handle Tristan."

Kevin let out a breath and closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them, he sent a glare Joanna's way before returning his attention to his sister. "Ror, it was for your own good."

The condescending tone of that statement only set her off. "For my own good?" she screamed so loudly it took Kevin and all the boys by surprise. "You've got some nerve, Kevin. What makes you think you have the right decide what is and isn't good for me?"

"I'm your brother," he yelled back. "I have every right…"

"Oh get over yourself."

"…to do what I think is best for you."

"You can't honestly believe that."

"I was looking out for you, Rory. That's all. That guy was…"

"He was just trying to get me to talk to him. All he was doing was dropping off notes and gifts. It's not like he was camped out on our lawn or stalking me or threatening me in anyway. He was leaving gifts because he wanted to get me to talk to him…so he could apologize."

"Do you remember how upset you were when he showed up at the house?"

She glared at him knowing he had a point.

"Do you think I was going to let him upset you like that again?"

"That was not your decision to make, Kevin."

"He was showing up at my house, harassing my sister. You bet your ass it was my decision to make."

"I can take care of myself," she declared. "I'm eighteen years old…"

"Oh don't start with the 'I'm eighteen years old bull shit,' Rory. You have no idea what guys like Tristan are capable of. I was protecting you. I'm not going to apologize for that."

"You promised me you'd let me handle it on my own. You lied to me. You broke your promise, Kevin. You've never done that before."

Despite his anger, Kevin was slightly taken aback by that statement. It was true, he never lied to sister and he never broke his promises to her. "It was for your own good," he repeated, although with a bit less conviction.

Joanna, Logan, Colin and Finn watched in silence as the normally loving siblings yelled back and forth. Logan, being sympathetic to both sides, decided to try and intervene. "Ace, you need to calm down," he said in a soothing voice. He placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, but was beyond surprised at her reaction to his words and action.

Rory whipped around to face Logan and forcefully shoved his hand off her shoulder. "Don't touch me," she spat.

Logan had no idea how to react. The malice with which she delivered that order cut straight through his heart. "Ace?"

"No! Don't start! You lied to me too!"

It never occurred to Logan that she would get angry at him. Kevin, yes, but not him. He stood there, mouth open, not knowing what to say.

"You didn't send me those flowers did you? They were from Tristan," she accused making no attempt to hide her fury.

Logan gave the slightest of nods.

"You lied to me!"

"Ace…"

"The day after our first date. We'd been together for exactly two days, and you lied to me."

He continued to stare wordlessly, not quite sure how to defend himself.

Rory was completely lost in rage by this point. "I know you're new to this whole relationship thing, Logan, so here's a tip: Lying. Bad."

Logan felt as if someone punched him in the stomach. Her eyes, her beautiful eyes that normally looked at him with so much affection, were full of rage…and worse disappointment. He recognized disappointment. He grew up seeing it in the eyes of his father. He never thought he'd see that look in Rory's eyes. "Ace…"

"No! I can't talk to you right now," she said effectively cutting him off.

"Rory," began Kevin in a much calmer tone.

"Or you," she said to her brother. "Neither one of you come near me right now. I can't stand to look at you!" With those parting words, Rory turned and ran up the stairs determined not to cry.

Joanna and the boys stood in stunned silence as she stormed off only being brought back to reality when they heard her door slam loudly.

On impulse, Kevin made a move to go after her, but Joanna blocked his path. "No," she said placing a hand on his chest. "Give her some time to cool off. She's too angry right now. She won't talk to you. And if you try and make her, it'll only make things worse."

Kevin knew she was right, but tried to move passed her anyway.

"Kevin, no," she said sternly.

They stared at each other for a several long seconds, silently battling each other. Not knowing what else to do, and still feeling very angry, Kevin turned his wrath to Joanna. "What the hell did you say to her?"

Joanna's eyes widened with shock. "Oh please, Kevin. I know you're not trying to turn this around on me."

"You agreed to not to talk to her about Tristan until after we got back to Hartford. Obviously, you did," he accused.

"It couldn't be helped," she defended. "The subject of Tristan came up and everything just spilled out."

"The subject of Tristan just came up?" he asked disbelievingly. "Rory wouldn't have brought him up so clearly you did."

"No, it wasn't me."

"Who then?"

"Well if you must know, it was Honor?"

"Honor?" asked Kevin surprised.

"She met him at a party in Hartford," Joanna stated simply. "We were sitting around her room and all of the sudden she starts gushing over Hartford's 'newest bachelor.' Her words not mine," added Joanna at the look of fury in Kevin's eyes. "Look, regardless of how it came up, it happened. Rory and I had a long talk about him, which would have been hard enough on her, but then she finds out about the packages Tristan's been leaving her, which by the way, I had no idea you were intercepting. So believe me, Rory's had enough for tonight. Leave her alone."

After a moment of fuming, Kevin said, "I need a drink." He then turned on his heal and headed for the kitchen.

"I'll pour," said Finn following him. Colin, who had remained silent throughout the entire exchange continued to do so as he trailed into the kitchen behind Finn. Never in his life had he witnessed Rory and Kevin fight, let alone fight like that. And never in a million years did he think he'd see so much pain on the face of one Logan Huntzberger because of a girl. But there Logan stood, pale and practically shaking, because of Rory Hayden. It was a sight to behold.

"Breathe, Logan," said Joanna. Only the two of them remained standing in the foyer.

He obeyed, letting out a breath he was unaware he'd been holding. "I've never seen her that mad," he whispered, his voice sounding very uncertain. It was the first time he'd spoken since Rory ran to her room.

"It'll be ok," she said trying to bring him some comfort.

"For Christmas one year, I played a trick on her," he rambled absentmindedly. "I rigged this box to spray green and red paint all over her when she pulled the top off. I wrapped it up, said 'Merry Christmas,' and handed it to her."

"What happened?" asked Joanna with a small smile.

"Her face and hair were red and green for the next three days. Stuff wouldn't wash off. She was so mad at me," he said sadly, but sounding somewhat amused. "But no where near as mad as she was just now. And she's never yelled at me quite like that before."

"Because this wasn't a prank, Logan," she pointed out. "You lied to her."

"Did you see the way she shoved my hand off?" he asked sadly. "She wouldn't even let me touch her."

"She's angry, Logan. She'll calm down. I promise."

Logan shook his head. His eyes looked passed Joanna to the top of the stairs, to where he knew Rory was.

"She'll calm down," she repeated. "Just give her some time."

He nodded. "I think Kevin had the right idea. A drink sounds really good right now," he said.

Joanna watched him walk dejectedly into the kitchen. She could hear the faint sounds of a conversation and decided not to join the boys. They were all upset and Kevin was obviously furious at her. She was in no mood to defend her actions so she turned and headed up to her room.

"Pull up a seat, Mate," said Finn as Logan entered the kitchen.

"Well, this evening certainly took a bad turn," said Logan as he plunked down into an empty chair.

"I'm sorry, Logan," said Kevin as he poured his friend a generous tumbler of scotch. "I know I've been giving you a hard time about dating Rory, but believe me, I never meant for this to happen. I had no idea she was going to come down on you like that. I wouldn't have…"

"Kevin," interrupted Logan, "relax. I know you didn't do it on purpose."

"I asked you to lie to her," he said. "She's mad at you because of something I asked you do." Kevin had seen the look on Logan's face when Rory tore into him. The guilt he experienced at that moment was overwhelming.

"I'm not mad at you, Kev," Logan assured him. "And I don't blame you. I swear. Yes, I did what you asked, but it was my decision. I knew exactly what you were asking me to do and I did it. And to be perfectly honest, if I were you, I don't think I would have done anything differently, so quit blaming yourself. I'm not mad at you."

"Thanks," muttered Kevin. He was more relieved to hear Logan say that than he was letting on. After watching them over the past week, he'd grown not only accustomed to Logan dating Rory, but he was genuinely happy—no happy was too strong…glad—he was glad they'd found each other. He would never admit it, but the two of them really were a very good match.

"So what do we do we do now?" asked Colin.

"We drink," said Finn as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Colin rolled his eyes. "I meant about Tristan."

"I don't know," said Kevin downing what was left in his glass and reaching for the bottle.

"Well what are you going to do about Rory?" asked Colin.

Kevin sighed. "Joanna's right. She needs time to cool off. So for right now, we give her some space. If I know Rory, she's not coming out of her room anytime soon. Tomorrow morning, I'll make her breakfast and a big pot of coffee and I'll talk to her."

"Are you going to apologize?" asked Colin.

"I didn't do anything wrong," insisted Kevin.

"Not according to Rory," piped in Finn.

"Yeah, well, I don't care," said Kevin taking a sip of his drink. "She's mad at me. I get that, but I was protecting her and I'm not going to apologize for that. Look, I'm sorry she's upset. I'm sorry she's upset with me. Hell, I'm even sorry she's upset with Logan. But I'm not sorry for what I did. I did what I thought was right. And I still think it was the right thing to do so no, Colin, I will not be apologizing."

"Ok," said Colin, not agreeing entirely with Kevin, but not in the mood to argue with his reasoning. "But you," he continued pointing at Logan, "you, my friend, need to apologize to your girlfriend."

"Grovel," added Finn. "You need to grovel."

"I know," muttered Logan.

"Let me talk to her first, Logan," said Kevin. "I'll try to smooth things over for you when I talk to her tomorrow morning."

"What are you going to say?"

"I'll make it clear that it was my idea," answered Kevin. "That I asked you to do it."

"You don't have to do that," said Logan, although he would have been very grateful if he did.

"Yeah I do, Logan."

The four boys continued to drink until the scotch was gone, and then until the rum was gone, and then until the vodka was gone, etc.

Rory slammed the door of her bedroom shut with significantly more force than was actually necessary. Her heart was pounding, her ears were ringing, she'd never felt such intense fury. She fisted her hands hoping that would stop them from shaking. After a few minutes of pacing and knocking a few items off some shelves, her adrenaline began to even out and she collapsed on her bed. Burying her face in a pillow, she opened the flood gates and cried. Her mind was too full and she emptied it through her tears, releasing feelings of pain, anger, guilt and betrayal. After nearly an hour of non-stop crying, she was drained. Rory felt hollow, empty, and she couldn't decide if it was better or worse than the fullness that had consumed her earlier. Exhausted, she fell asleep, her face still buried in her pillow.

She woke up hours later, still tired and somewhat disoriented. Her hours of sleep had not been at all restful. The alarm clock next to her bed informed her it was nearly four o'clock in the morning. She got up and shuffled over to her bathroom, very grateful that she had her own bathroom. She was in no shape to leave the sanctuary of her bedroom just yet.

Rory turned on the faucet and audibly gasped when she saw the reflection staring back at her. The girl in the mirror was so pale with bloodshot eyes. Her make-up had smeared. She looked frightful. Turning away from her reflection, Rory got undressed and took a long relaxing shower which left her feeling much better. By the time she walked back into her bedroom, it was after five. She methodically got dressed and snuck downstairs as quietly as she could. After locating Kevin's car keys, she climbed into his Porsche and slid out of the driveway in neutral as she did not want to wake her brother. First of all, she still wasn't ready to talk to him. And second, there was no way in hell he would have let her drive his precious Porsche. Rory made sure she was a good fifty feet away from the house before she started the engine.

The first ferry of the island left at 6AM and Rory made sure she was on it. It would be hours before her brother would awaken and by then, she would be well off the island and on her way back to Hartford. Her first and only thought since she woke up that morning was to get to Hartford.

By the time she drove off the ferry, her stomach was grumbling reminding her that she hadn't eaten anything since yesterday afternoon. Despite her hunger, she drove on. Not wanting to stop even for coffee. Rory followed signs into Connecticut proud that she only had to ask for directions twice. At around ten o'clock she saw signs for Hartford and stepped down on the gas pedal. She wasn't aware of how fast she was going until she heard the siren and saw flashing lights pull up behind her.

"Great," she muttered, "just great." Rory pulled off the highway and watched apprehensively as two state troopers got out their police car and walk over to her. The younger of the two men tapped on her window indicating she should roll it down.

"License and registration," he said authoritatively.

"Is there a problem, officer?"

"Do you know how fast you were going back there, miss?"

"Around 70 maybe?" she asked meekly.

He chuckled. "No. I clocked you at 110, miss."

"Oh." She had no idea she was going that fast. She made a mental note to tell Kevin how smooth his car ran, but pushed the thought out of her head after remembering she was mad at him.

"I'm going to need to see your license and registration, miss."

"Oh…um…technically, I don't have a license."

"You don't have a license?"

"Not in the US," she clarified. "I do have a British license," she added gladly handing over her wallet. "I was away at boarding school and I just got back. I am an American citizen though and I swear I was going to get a driver's license here. I just hadn't gotten around to it yet."

"Are you aware driving without a license is illegal, miss?"

"Yes," she admitted feeling a little panicked. "I am aware of that. And under normal circumstances, I wouldn't be driving right now, but it's an emergency and I need to get to Hartford."

"An emergency?" muttered the officer. He'd heard that excuse one too many times. "Do you have the registration for this vehicle, Miss…" he looked down at her ID, "Miss Hayden?"

"Not exactly," she said weakly.

"Not exactly?"

"It's my brother's car."

The second officer walked up to the window and said, "The car is registered to a Kevin Hayden of Hartford." Apparently he had been running the license plates while his partner was talking to Rory.

"Yes, that's my brother," she added not wanting them to think she was a thief.

"I'm going to need you to step out of the car, Miss Hayden," said the first officer.

"What? Why? He just told you it's my brother's car."

"While that may be true, miss, you don't have a registration, proof of insurance or even a driver's license, all of which are required in order for you to be operating this vehicle."

"Yes, but…"

"I'm sorry, miss, but we can't let you continue to drive. It's illegal for you do so. Now please step out of the vehicle. You're going to have to come with us."

"Are you arresting me?" she asked, her eyes starting to fill with tears. Getting arrested would be the icing on the cake.

"No, Miss Hayden, you're not being arrested," he replied feeling a little bad for the young girl with the sad eyes. "However, we will have to impound this vehicle."

"Impound? Oh my God, Kevin's gonna kill me."

"Your brother can pick up his car once he shows proof of ownership."

Rory tearfully climbed out of the car. "Where are you taking me?"

"We can't let you continue driving so we're going down to the station to fill out a police report. I'll be issuing you a couple of tickets, you'll have to pay a few fines, and then you'll be free to go."

Rory was in a daze. "I can't believe this is happening." She was tired and hungry and upset and now she was being hauled off to the police station. After a tow truck arrived, Rory climbed into the back seat of the police car and slumped down. "Perfect," she mumbled. "This is so perfect."

At the police station, she was ushered through a few rooms, spoke to a few other officers, signed a few documents and paid a pretty hefty fine.

"I should be done with your paper work in just a few minutes, Miss Hayden," said the officer who'd brought her in. She nodded barely comprehending what he'd said. "Is there anyone I can call for you? Your parents? Brother? Someone who can pick you up?"

"What?" she asked momentarily coming out of her daze.

"Is there someone you'd like me to call to come pick you up?" The officer felt so sorry for the girl sitting in front of him. She was pale and teary eyed. She'd hardly said a word unless asked a question and she looked so dejected.

"Uhh…umm…can I use my cell phone?"

He smiled warmly, "Of course, Miss. Feel free."

Rory took a deep breath before dialing.

"Hello?" answered a sleepy voice.

"Hey, it's Rory."

"Rory? Are you ok?"

"Not really," she answered honestly. "Can you come pick me up?"

"Yeah, of course. Where are you?"

She took another breath. "At a police station just outside of Hartford."

"What? Why? What happened? Are you hurt?"

"No," she said taking comfort in the concerned tone. "I'm fine. I just need someone to pick me up."

"What's the address?"

Rory read the address off the card the officer handed her.

"All right, I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Ok. Thanks."

Less than thirty minutes later, as Rory sat waiting in a small reception area, she was brought out of her reverie by the sound of a familiar voice ask. "I'm looking for Rory Hayden."

"Hey," she said standing.

"You know I never thought I'd ever be picking you up from a police station."

She gave a small laugh before walking over to him. "Thanks for coming."

He returned her smile and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Anytime, Mary."