Every time Alice was in deep thought, there was always this small crease that would appear between her eyebrows to form a tiny frown when she was either trying to work something out or found something completely confounding. It was making an appearance now as she continued to stare intently at the PADD she had rested on the counter as she ate breakfast, oblivious to everything around her, causing her to be a little sloppy. The crumbs that clung around the corners of her mouth made this apparent. And Leonard couldn't help but smile in fondness at the scene playing out in front of him.
Alice sat before him, wearing the skirt of her uniform and a black undershirt, refusing to put on the red turtleneck she absolutely hated until the very last minute. Her posture was somewhat slouched as she peered over the edge of the counter at the PADD, hair pulled back into a long ponytail she would most likely throw into a bun as they were leaving her apartment. She held a piece of half-eaten toast in one hand, scarcely touching it as she wore her tiny intent frown at whatever she was trying to figure out.
Leonard adored her. He adored her for the way she frowned at puzzling things, becoming so distracted that she almost literally forgot to eat. He adored the way she hated the uniform as much as he did, refusing to wear it any chance she could. He adored the way the crumbs settled around her mouth and she couldn't tell because she was so deep in complicated thought. Leonard adored her, and he was grateful that he could adore her and her little quirks.
"Something's bothering you," he said, making the sentence a statement rather than a question before taking a sip of his coffee.
"Is that so?" she asked playfully, that quiet little smirk of hers inciting one of his own as she continued to stared down at the PADD.
"Yup," he replied matter-of-factly. "You get this little frown whenever you're thinking. It's pretty cute actually."
Alice finally looked over at him, the movement fluid as her eyes radiated with an intense warmth that was only for him. "I frown when I think?"
"Mhm," he hummed, not bothering to hide his smirk. "It's one of your tells."
"And you know my tells, do you?" she said, raising her eyebrows in a challenge, but there was no mistaking the mischief that sparkled brightly within the gold of her eyes.
"We've been sharing a bed together for a while now," and he enjoyed every second of it. "So, I like to fool myself into thinking I know you."
The toast and PADD were abandoned. "Leon, you know me better than most. Very few people even get to know my favorite color," she reassured him in playful earnestness.
"And how many months did it take before I managed to get that out of you?" Leonard teased.
"Your point is noted and appreciated, Doctor McCoy, but it doesn't discredit what I said," she smiled before returning back to what she had been reading.
"Maybe I can help," he offered, leaning into her so that he could look over what she was reading.
But Alice quickly flipped her PADD over before he could get a look at anything that might have been displayed. She then rotated her chair and propped herself up by an elbow on the counter so that she became a barrier between him and whatever she was hiding. Leonard, of course, didn't mind her little game of keep away. She had her secrets, and he respected that, though, she usually would tell him after some teasing or later when she felt comfortable enough to tell him.
"It's not for your eyes, Cadet McCoy."
"So it's the Combatives lesson plan." It wasn't the first time she had hidden it from him. "You know, if you really cared for me, you'd let me take a look at it," he teased her gently.
Alice rolled her eyes at him. "You're just as bad as Jim."
"Not nearly," he replied, trying not so subtly to slide his hand passed her on the counter and intentionally failing as she battered his hand away playfully. "What's bugging you about it?"
"Are you really interested, or are you just trying to distract me?"
"A little bit of both," he smiled, grabbing the underside of her chair and pulling her closer to him by it while his other hand snaked around her waist, thumb tracing dangerous patterns on her hip.
"Don't think I'm not aware of what you're doing," she warned him with a smile. "And I thought you were an honest southern gentleman."
"I have no idea what you're talking about," Leonard said, lightheartedly feigning innocence, "and I am the epitome of honesty." His thumb dug into her side, causing her to squeak slightly in surprise as it tickled, forcing her to shy away from the movement as he reached for the PADD. But he only rested his hand on top of it to show he had won, not even attempting to look at it or take it from her. Alice had a way of drawing out this playfulness in him that had been quieted for years, but she had some boundaries, and he made sure to never take it too far as Jim occasionally did.
Alice glared at him. "That wasn't very nice or honest," she scolded him, not bothering to conceal the amusement in her voice.
"I never said I was nice, darlin'." Leonard smirked, aware of how devilish it sounded with his accent as he withdrew his hand from the PADD, placing it instead on her knee, his fingers tracing more pleasantly and a lot less devious patterns. It was his way of informing her that she didn't need to tell him what she was looking at if she didn't want to.
"Uh huh," she hummed in agreement, rolling her eyes before she finally relented. "And I'm simply taking issue with the way Vance wants to teach blocking tonight."
"Too complicated?"
"Too ineffective," she corrected, turning back to her PADD, no longer worried that he would try and read over her shoulder. "It's nowhere near the way I was taught."
Leonard frowned. "Where were you taught?" The hesitation was answer enough, and Leonard cursed himself for his careless question. "Right, sorry."
She offered in a small, forgiving smile before shrugging it off. "I just don't think it's the best way to go about it."
"Well, you are the Assistant Instructor. Don't you get a say in how you teach it?" Leonard rose from his chair, grabbing their plates and placing them gently into the sink. A sense of nostalgic familiarity at the situation striking him fondly. Like an old married couple, the archaic saying rang in his head as he picked up after them.
"Emphasis on assistant," Alice sighed in mild annoyance as she tucked her PADD into her bag before tugging on that horrid turtleneck.
Red may have been her color and the uniform may have hugged her form spectacularly in his mind, but there wasn't really anyone who could pull off the cadet uniform, and Alice had readily agreed with this as well:
"Leon, I will always find you handsome," she had said last night as she pulled him into her apartment, "but that uniform…" Alice had trailed off as she quickly worked to get him out of it.
"I hate to break this to you, beautiful," he had growled back, his southern accent dancing across her skin, "but it's not too flattering on you either."
"Oh, I don't know," Alice sighed, drawing him back from the pleasurable memories from the previous night. "I don't exactly want to sabotage Vance's opinion of me by challenging him." Leonard found it slightly mesmerizing as she wound her hair up into a tight bun. "Maybe it won't be so bad."
"It's combatives," Leonard complained teasingly, grabbing his own things and walking towards the door. "It's always bad."
"It can't be that horrible," Alice argued back playfully, allowing him to hold the door open for her. "After all, I'm in the class."
Leonard couldn't help but scoff lightly as they walked towards campus. "Jim thinks it's a riot that you're instructing the class. I just find it intimidating."
"Really?" Alice gave him a curious look.
"Yeah," Leonard grimaced. "It's not often that your girlfriend is teaching a class you already know you're going to do horribly in," he admitted.
And he didn't miss that quiet smile or faint blush at his use of the word girlfriend before she quickly locked it away behind her teasing mischief. "You don't have to worry, Leon. You'll never be as good as me."
"Ouch," he winced jokingly. "That was very hurtful."
"Oh. I'm sorry," she countered, wicked smirk toying with him. "Did I wound your pride?"
Leonard desired nothing more than to wrap his arm around her and pull her closer as they walked, or at the very least, capture her hand in his own. But he was painfully aware that they were not alone on the sidewalk.
"Maybe a little bit," he chuckled softly, smiling back at her.
"Then I guess it's a good thing you're a doctor and should be able to patch it up just fine on your own," she winked at him. "Come on. We're going to be late to our classes at this pace." And he allowed her to take the lead, trailing behind a few steps, enjoying the view before he turned and took a different path towards campus. One that would lead him past his dorms and would have them arriving from different directions, something they had decided would be for the best to keep the secrecy.
And although he could hide the slight longing and deeply seated ache he felt, a desire to walk beside her for the entirety of the way back to the Academy, he couldn't deny its presence even if he didn't fully understand it.
Leonard didn't know if the instruction was ineffective as Alice had believed it to be, but he certainly felt ineffective as he continuously tried to block Jim's blows properly. There was always a lingering feeling as if he was doing something wrong. He just couldn't figure out what he was doing wrong.
Jim seemed equally aware of him having difficulty, too; but was having the same amount of trouble figuring it out as well, all his suggestions producing no different results. All he could do was allow Leonard to continue attempting until he hopefully figured it out. Which was strange in it of itself. The man who normally couldn't leave a breath of silence and always had to say something sarcastic or obnoxious had grown quiet in direct, almost linear, relation to how frustrated Leonard was becoming as he continued to fail to get the block down right; trading out smart-ass quips for suggestions and advice before growing silent.
But after another close call with Jim nearly striking him the face, Leonard was ready to call it quits and let Jim have his turn to practice, imagining that it would be easier for him to throw punches than attempt to block them.
Gentle, nudging words prevented him from doing so, however.
"Do it again," Alice instructed him, arms crossed in a relaxed fashion as she watched.
Her critical gaze made Leonard feel a little uneasy, but he remained in his defensive stance, prepared to block as Vance continued to shout ready and strike in a metronome like pattern to keep a steady pace for them to practice by. On strike Jim swung at him with a well contained punch, and Leonard did manage to block it, but something still felt off about the way he did so. It felt more uncomfortable than he imagined it should, if that was even a proper way to describe it, and he felt as if it took him longer than necessary to recover from it.
If he had been in a barfight—as Jim had occasionally drug him into—Leonard wouldn't much care if the block wasn't perfect. But here in combatives, where the repetition of the same movements was meant to enforce form and execution in such a way that it was practically instinctual, it made it difficult for him to just shrug off the feeling that he wasn't doing something right. And it certainly didn't help his self-confidence that he was already struggling the first full week of the course. Or that Alice was observing him failing in the first full week of the course.
"You're moving too much," Alice said evenly, her voice constructive and lacking in criticism. "Here, like this," she motioned for him to move out of the way and quickly replaced him, facing down Jim. "Again."
Jim nodded and followed the tempo of Vance's commands, throwing a right-handed punch at her. Leonard watched, making a point to only study what he needed, finding it damn near impossible not to notice how nicely the PT uniform hugged her curves or how her skin glistened. Instead, he watched as she easily blocked Jim's blow fluidly. There was definitely a difference in the way she did it. He wasn't quite sure he would be able to replicate it, though.
"You want to move as little as necessary," she informed him. "That way it doesn't take as long to counter or strike back. Think of it in terms of surgery. Would you want your instruments on the other side of the operating room or right next to you?" she offered in a quick analogy before turning her attention to Jim. "Right then left."
Again, he nodded in understanding before he struck. Alice blocked his right with a flick of her arm before she caught his left arm with the same hand, pulling him forward and off balance as she turned, exposing her back to him as she brought her left elbow up, stopping it a hairsbreadth away from his neck in a perfectly executed counter.
"That was slightly terrifying," Jim chuckled nervously.
Alice smiled apologetically. "Sorry," she offered quietly as she released him. Her gazed turned back to Leonard. "Try it again?"
Those chaos ridden eyes of hers would have been foreign to him now if hadn't woken up to them so often. Behind them was a person Leonard had never seen before. She always had a quiet personality, that wasn't new to him, but he had never seen her so serious and analytical before. In her eyes, Leonard could see the calculations she was making to plot out the next twenty steps; but there was the gold flickering that shined with an instinct that would react if things didn't go according to plans. It was intimidating, dangerous, and reassuring. Alice was in complete control of the situation.
Leonard blocked Jim's blow again, the movement feeling a little more effective than last time as he struggled to move as Alice had demonstrated. The wince she wore told him he hadn't quite gotten it right, however.
"Better…" her voice trailed off, though, indicating that it was more platitude than honest. "Can I try something?" she asked, reaching towards him.
"Sure," he shrugged.
The delicate fingers he enjoyed intertwining with his own or trailing across his skin, laid over his own hand, gently gripping it as she placed her arm directly over his own. Her other hand rested lightly on his shoulder, as she became a physical shadow of him, her arm against his own and her hand bracing against him for balance being the only points of contact.
If they were in any other situation, their closeness would have been considered inappropriate; and for the first, and most likely only time, Leonard was thankful for combatives. It gave him the opportunity to drink in her alluring scent outside of her apartment. Her conditioner, he recognized.
With a nod from her, Jim once against struck towards Leonard, and Alice guided his arm as she blocked it correctly. She did this for him two more times, before quickly retreating away from Leonard to a more respectable distance.
"Try it again," she instructed him once more, and Leonard felt more confident this time.
There was a change in the way he blocked. It didn't feel awkward or incorrect as he was able to replicate the way she had blocked with him. And he could see what she had meant. The way he was supposed to execute it, it was less of movement and more of a flick of his arm. He had been moving too much.
He could also see that Jim was aware of the change in his blocking somehow, giving Leonard a slightly amused look, making him thankful that they would be switching soon and he would have his chance to throw the punches.
"You can't just stand there and tell me it wasn't part of your plan to get Alice to show you how to block," Jim continued on, the teasing inflection of his voice grating against Leonard's ears. "I mean, she was practically glued against you."
Leonard rolled his eyes as he threw on his jacket, slamming the door to his locker closed. "You're such a child."
"I wonder if I could get her that close if I pretended I couldn't do something?" Jim wondered dreamily, staring off into the distance like some love-sick teenager.
"She'd probably see right through you," he groaned, once again being dragged into some immature topic. "And I wasn't pretending."
"I pretty sure she'd like what she'd see, though," Jim laughed, continuing to parade around shirtless.
Leonard merely sighed in exasperation. His obnoxious friend's inability to put on a shirt until the last moment had become a common occurrence in the locker room. The man's confidence was irritating at best and downright arrogant at its worst as he all but flaunted his figure. What was confounding was why he did so in the men's locker room, where all it got him was sneers in disgust from people who weren't nearly as confident as him. It was like the damn kid wanted to ruffle as many feathers as he possible could
"Come on," Leonard growled, grabbing Jim's shirt off the bench and throwing it at him. "I don't want to stay here all night."
"You don't have to wait for me, sweetheart," Jim teased in mocking southern drawl.
"And will you get off that already," he snapped. "Not all of us have years of experience from bar fights to draw on."
"Oh, don't worry. I get it," he said, voice muffled as he pulled his shirt over his head. "It's harder for some people." A sense of dread filled Leonard when he saw that damn smirk. "Bet that wasn't the only thing that was hard, though, was it?" The wink he threw in made Leonard want to punch him.
"Unbelievable," Leonard groaned. Years of experience in the medical field had desensitized him to obnoxious remarks similar to Jim's.
"Come on, Bones," Jim continued, his voice begging him in dragged out childlike tones as he grasped Leonard by the arm and all but dragged him out of the locker room. "You can admit it to me. I'm your best friend!" The smirk he wore was equal parts annoying and infuriating.
"Not by any choice of mine," Leonard growled quietly.
"That's not nice," he whined.
"Well, you keep telling me about how wonderful my bedside manner is, so it shouldn't come as a surprise to you anymore," Leonard countered.
"Fair enough," Jim agreed with a shrug. "I've seen the way you eye her, though. You can't tell me that you aren't attracted to her at least a little bit."
Leonard rolled his eyes. "I don't eye her," he argued weakly, having given in to the fact that Jim was going to continue to pester the hell out of him about it. The fact that he kept on about it, though, was evidence enough that he was still clueless; so while it annoyed him, Leonard could tolerate it with mild—and mostly hidden—indifference.
As they entered the gym, however, making their way towards the exit, Leonard scanned the area as subtly as he could for any sign of her, registering that she was standing over by Vance in deep discussion, or lecture, as she looked slightly cowered, her body bowed much as one would if they were being scolded.
"Wonder what that's about?" Jim piped up from beside him, giving Leonard an opportunity to strike back at all of his previous remarks
"And you accused me of eyeing her," he countered disapprovingly.
"Oh, I don't deny it," he smirked. "It's just that I'm painfully aware of how hopeless it is."
"And yet you still continue to harass her," Leonard said, shaking his head.
"That's just 'cause she has this cute little sigh of frustration she'll give me if I do," Jim teased, though it was less obnoxious and more out of fondness. "And the way she rolls her eyes at me is way more adorable that when you do it."
"That's not exactly the direction I'm aiming for, kid," Leonard snorted.
"Yes, yes, you have the whole bitter, unfriendly drunk down perfectly, Bones," Jim chuckled. "You know, you're lucky they don't test for sobriety with the standard drug tests."
"You are too, idiot," he snarled back, allowing himself to be dragged back into another endless argument. "You wouldn't pass them either if they did."
Jim opened his mouth to say another goading remark to rub Leonard the right way and keep this playful, albeit somewhat antagonistic, banter going; but he was cut off by a voice he recognized from the many insults that had been thrown his way from the privacy of a closed door and backed up by the other two roommates that shared his dorm. He had been unlucky enough to get placed as the fourth person in a dorm of three friends that seemingly despised him for being George Kirk's son. Not that he could completely blame them. There were days he despised being George Kirk's son. Namely, on January 4th of every goddamn year.
"Oh how cute," came the degrading voice of Cadet Simms. "Like two assholes on their first date."
Leonard didn't have much experience with this new pain in the ass. Jim didn't tell him much about it other than a few mentions the couple of times he had come crawling into the hospital with various injuries from fights with the larger cadet, but he had been able to discern that Simms was built like a similar brick wall Jim had picked a fight with the night before the shuttle.
"It would take some truly backwatered minds to think that's an issue even if it were true," Leonard growled defensively, a malicious turn of his features that would cause most people to be unsettled.
Clearly, Simms hadn't been expecting such strong and rough behavior from a friend of Jim Kirk's, and he clearly hadn't heard of the reputation that was spread by those that had been on the receiving end of Doctor McCoy's ire. But it didn't take him long to recover.
"That's rich, coming from some southern hick," Simms said, sizing the two men up; his friends, and Jim's fellow roommates, waiting to back him up.
Jim turned subtly to put himself in front of Leonard just enough to most likely receive the first blow if it came to it. "You need something, Simms?"
"No," he shrugged. "Just wondering what it's like to have the Assistant Instructor in your back pocket." The larger cadet eyed Leonard. "The way she was pressed up against you, I'm surprised you two didn't just get it on right there."
Leonard was ready with a sneer and words that would make even the crudest of people flush, but Jim shouldered him back, remaining in front of him as a barrier. He just wasn't sure if it was a barrier to prevent Simms from getting to him or the other way around.
"I know this might be a new concept for you, but it is possible to act professional and not like a total prick," Jim taunted with a smile. "And in Assistant Instructor Khan's case, she is able to avoid favoritism of her friends by acting professionally."
There was a flicker of anger that ran through Simms' eyes before he quickly laughed Jim's shaded insult off. "Something tells me that she's the type to hand out favors to anyone she encounters often, though."
Leonard might have been aware that the jab at Alice was mean to incite anger from the both of them, and he might have known it was what Simms wanted; but it didn't help him curb his anger or stop him from clenching his fists, or desiring nothing more than to put the younger, larger cadet in the hospital. It was somewhat of a relief to see Jim tense up slightly as well at the comment. It let him know that his response wasn't unrealistic.
"Oh right," Jim scoffed in obnoxiously fake amusement. "You probably don't understand the concept of friends either seeing as you've only ever had mindless lackeys following you around." The smile Simms had in slight victory faded quickly, and Jim took a few steps forward, the jokester turning dangerous. "Tell me, Simms, does it make you feel like a bigger man to have such…incompetence follow you? I imagine it makes it easier for you to appear better than you really are with them around."
It would have been impossible for Leonard to not recognize the smile Jim gave Simms. It was a shit-eating grin, laced with feigned arrogance and self-satisfaction that was designed for the sole purpose of instigating. And it was almost always immediately followed by—
Jim recoiled backwards into Leonard as Simms landed the first blow. Fortunately, he had enough experience with the reckless, brash, and fight prone Jim Kirk to have anticipated just this and catch him before he toppled over. Unfortunately, Simms had insulted Alice, and Leonard had no qualms in letting Jim pull away and lunge at Simms instead of attempting to hold him back.
And instead of vainly attempting to be a peacemaker and break up the fight before reluctantly coming to the aid of his friend, there was no hesitation when Leonard grabbed one of the cadets that followed Simms around and pulled him away from Jim, knowing that he could have held his own against three but could do so easier with two.
The blow he landed against the cadet's jaw was effective mainly in part that it wasn't suspected, but it also certainly didn't help that Leonard had impeccable aim, landing it directly on his jaw. A satisfactory crack preluded the startled cry from cadet, but Leonard didn't release the grip he held and landed another blow against his face, busting his nose before the cadet managed to wrench himself free.
Reckless and anger driven punches were thrown haphazardly at Leonard by the cadet he had picked off, and he was able to block three of the stronger ones before one of them caught him in the ribs, forcing the breath out of him and leaving him open to a cheap shot that busted his upper lip open.
Sickly sweet blood pooled in Leonard's mouth as the cadet charged him, leaving him enough time to side-step out of the way and use the cadet's momentum in his favor, forcing the cadet to continue past him with a disarming shove.
Beside him, Leonard could hear the grunting and smacking of Jim's fight followed by an alarmed cry as someone, likely the second lackey, was knocked down the stairs. But before he had the chance of considering helping Jim out, Leonard's own advisory was back on his feet and approaching.
Strong hands wrenched him backwards, propelling him away from the fight as he struggled to remain upright. The cadet he had been fighting, arm raised to strike, was quickly spun around by his own arm being twisted in a painful manner as he was forced to the ground by it. Jim and Simms' were unaware of anything until Jim was dragged away from the fight, practically thrown into Leonard as the interloper placed herself in between the fighting parties. And while she may have stood calmly, stiff posture poised for a fight, there was no mistaking the fact that Alice was pissed.
Anger and confidence fled both parties as they realized who had interrupted.
"I understand that men have this inexplicable need to mark their territory," Alice hissed menacingly, "but even animals aren't this stupid about it!" The threatening glare she shot at both sides was enough to turn their blood as cold as the ice blue of her eyes. "Not only would the five of you be ejected from this course, setting back your career by a year, but you would put be on suspension as well, maybe even expelled from the academy for conduct unbecoming." The meadow green the mixed with the cold, malicious ice burned with anger.
Neither side dared to say a word in excuse or against her as her wrath dripped seething anger into her voice, saturating her tone in a way Leonard had never heard before. Alice got quiet and sarcastically bitter when she was mad. This was far beyond that.
"If you want to kick the shit out of each other over nothing," her eyes bored into to Leonard and Jim, forcing them both to avert their gaze in shame, "then at least have the common decency to do it off of Starfleet property and certainly not in front of the building you were explicitly told not to fight in by instructors who are right inside."
As they stood there, shell shocked at the quiet Assistant Instructor who found her voice locked within her anger, the wounds they had received started to ache as the adrenaline drained out of them. The sharp knife off pain in Leonard's ribs was being twisted to its full intensity as the seconds passed by, and his knuckles throbbed, swelling against his skin.
"Now I suggest that the five of you stuff your egos back your pants since you're all done comparing sizes and leave before I rethink my decision on not reporting you to Instructor Vance," Alice growled.
"Of course you'd pardon Kirk and McCoy," Simms groaned under his breath.
"Yeah, and you should be thankful for my favoritism, Simms," Alice snapped. "Because my friendship with them and the fact that I can't spin what just happened in such a way that they get out of it without it being blatant favoritism is the only reason I'm letting you walk away."
"This is bullshit," Simms growled. "First some," he searched for the apropos words, "little girl gets placed as Assistant Instructor and now the prodigal son Jim Kirk gets a free pass because of it?"
But Alice didn't dignify his question with a response.
"This is complete bullshit," Simms hissed once more, shaking his head in disbelief.
"Maybe," she said impassively, the anger remaining but quieted for the moment. "But only Vulcan's are able to remain truly unbiased." At Simms' scoff in disgust, she added. "Just be thankful I'm not the one assigning grades."
"Whatever," Simms responded in utter annoyance before he and his friends finally turned to leave.
Alice relaxed, taking a step back as she eased herself out of her defensive stance, the tenseness and anticipation of more to come melting away from her body. The anger she had exhibited moments before seemed to have been smothered, or at least concealed from them as she finally turned to regard her friends.
Leonard was struck by the expression she now had and the emotion that was written in her eyes as much as he had been by the anger. Again, it was something he had never seen in her before: disappointment. And he had been part of the reason that it was there, mixed with the sadness the drowned the green and gold of her irises.
"You couldn't even make it a week, could you?" The ghost of a smile she wore was tinged with the same smoky moroseness as her voice as Alice regarded the both of them.
And Leonard couldn't tell what was more painful. The knife in his ribs, or the ache he felt at the way she was looking at him, the subtle I expected more from you dancing on her flawless skin.
"Alice—" Leonard tried, his voice quieted as he clearly desired nothing more than her understanding so that she might not be disappointed.
But Alice tossed her head lightly. "I heard everything." She paused for a beat. "I guess I was expecting too much when I thought you two could be the bigger men and just walk away." She retrieved the bag she had dropped on the stairs before she had rushed to intervene with the fight. Her movements were slow and careful as if she were exhausted, but Leonard was aware of how much it would take to make her tired, and there was no way it was physical exhaustion. His chest grew tight as she began to walk past them.
"Goodnight, boys," she said somberly, beginning the long trek across the Academy back to her apartment; leaving Leonard and Jim standing alone outside of the Combatives building, and once Alice was no longer in sight, having disappeared in the shadows of the evening, Jim finally spoke up.
"It feels like I went ten rounds with Simms and his sidekick rather than two minutes."
"Yeah," Leonard agreed. "Hell hath no fury like a woman disappointed."
It was the first time he was finally able to look Jim up and down, surveying the damage he suffered other than to his pride, and it was fortunately less than what he usually received during his fights. He wouldn't know the full extent until Jim came crawling to him once he could no longer hide how badly he was injured, but it looked as if all he had received was a bloody nose and some areas were bruises were likely to appear. Of course, Jim's tolerance for pain was exceptionally and ridiculously high, and he could be suffering from internal bleeding for all Leonard knew and for all Jim would refuse to say until he was practically half dead.
"You alright there, Bones?" Jim asked, clearly having done some surveying of his own, noticing how he was favoring his right side.
The pain was familiar from fights he'd been in before. Leonard placed slight pressure over his ribs. "I'll be fine," he growled defensively, though there was no bite in it. "Just cracked or bruised. I'll find out when I get back to my dorm."
There was doubt in his friend's eyes before he finally nodded. "I can't wait to get back to my dorm," Jim said with fake enthusiasm. "I bet there will be all kinds of fun waiting—"
"You don't have to ask, kid. I know your pride won't let you," Leonard interrupted him. Jim frowned as if asking a question even though he already knew the answer. "Let's go. You can take the couch tonight."
As much as he wanted to follow Alice back to her apartment and at least try to get her to allow him to explain what had happened, if only to dissipate the disappointment she made abundantly clear in regards to them. But Leonard knew that he couldn't allow Jim to return to his dorm and give Simms an opportunity to take out his anger on him once more. It would mean that he wouldn't be able to talk to her tonight without Jim catching on, though, and he wouldn't be able to talk to her until tomorrow at the earliest.
There was a slight hesitation before Jim followed Leonard down the stairs. "You have a couch?"
"Yeah," Leonard managed, suppressing a groan as walking agitated what he now believed to be at least one cracked rib, maybe more, and a couple of bruised ones. "Medical division gets the better dorms."
"Huh," Jim huffed.
He already knew this. In fact, Leonard remembered clearly all the shit that he had given him when he first found out that he not only had a larger dorm but he had to share all that space with only one other person. Jim had gone on an almost literal rant for a good twenty minutes about how there was a bias and the whole academic system was flawed. It was only when Alice finally piped in about how in command you needed to be able to work with many different people with many different backgrounds, and being in cramped dorms was a way to initially expose you to that. And Jim couldn't find a way around that logic other than to say that it was unfair.
"Bones."
"Yeah?"
"Thanks."
"Don't mention it, kid."
Alice wouldn't be back at her apartment until sometime after one in the afternoon. She was one of the few people on campus—aside from all the other cadets on the tactical officer track—that had a class on Fridays, starting at eight in the morning and lasting five hours. Leonard had planned to get there sometime close to two, giving her enough time to take a shower, the first thing she did once she got home from the class.
Whenever he asked her about it, all she would tell him was that they were running combat simulations of either field ops or bridge ops. Alice never gave him specifics, but whatever they were putting her through, they were working her hard. There were days where she just looked ragged and exhausted. Not physically, mind you, she just looked strained, like whatever her instructors were making her do were so mentally taxing that she looked exhausted.
In fact, Leonard realized, he found Alice looking exhausted in increasing frequency over the past few weeks.
But these thoughts and realizations were dragging his mind off of what he really needed to figure out: how on Earth he was going to explain himself for what happened last night. He had all morning and part of the afternoon to figure out what to say, but even now as he stood outside her door having just knocked on it, he was still no closer to having even a remote clue as to how he was going to mend what he—and Jim—had broken the previous night.
The door opened slowly, no doubt she already knew who was waiting outside for her, and Leonard felt his heart pound harder in his chest, the nervousness at what version of her he might find: angry or disappointed.
He saw neither.
Alice's eyes didn't shine nearly as bright as they always did. Her posture was more slouched than it would have been if she were simply relaxed, and exhaustion tugged wearily at her expression, creating the slightest of creases in her pale skin. She didn't look at all like herself.
God, she looks so tired, Leonard thought, trying to keep the concern out of his gaze. He longed nothing more than to push the lazy strands of hair the fell across her face back behind her ear, but he didn't know if he could.
"Can I come in?" he asked softly, and this two was different. Usually, he didn't have to ask unless it was in jest.
"Leonard," Alice sighed, her eyes closing for a fraction of a second longer, a sluggish response, "now isn't a good time."
"Please," he begged her. "Let me explain what happened last night." Leonard doubted that was what caused the change in her behavior, her demeanor; but if he could get her to let him talk about that, maybe he could get her to talk about whatever was so clearly bothering her.
"I know what happened last night," she argued lightly.
"You don't know everything."
"I was there for everything. I saw it all."
"Alice," he tried. "Please."
She regarded him for a moment, her eyes searching the depths of his own before there was a change. She didn't invite him in, but she didn't slam the door in his face either. Leonard took that as an invitation.
Now if only he knew what to say.
"Last night, Jim and I were idiots," he admitted appealingly. "And I apologize for that, especially since it could fall back onto you; but I don't regret what we did and I don't think Jim does either." Alice shifted slightly, leaning against the doorway as she waited for him to get to his point. "Simms is an ass, and he could have insulted Jim and me as much as he wanted and we wouldn't have cared, we would have walked away." Leonard paused for a moment. "But he insulted you."
"I know."
"He insulted you, and that's something Jim and I couldn't let him get away with."
Alice shook her head lightly. "I don't need you two…defending my honor or protecting me from his words, or whatever it is you two thought you were doing." The bitter tones of anger laced faintly within her voice.
"I know you don't," Leonard quickly amended. "But knowing you, knowing what you've been through," he saw her flinch at realized that may be the wrong way to go. "It makes me see you for who you really are." He reached out for those lose strands of hair, to place his hand gently on her cheek, but Alice pulled away slightly; and his heart twisted within his chest. "You're someone I care about, Alice," he continued, "someone Jim cares about too. And while you don't need us to fight for you, we will anyway. It's what you do for people you l—care about."
The faint smile that tugged playfully at the corners of her lips was enough to abolish the awful weight that had been pressing down on his chest. "You old romantic," she breathed teasingly.
"Only for you, sweetheart," his words causing her smile to became real as she pushed the door open a little wider, inviting him to come inside with her.
The sense of euphoria he felt was short-lived, however, as he watched Alice stumble, nearly losing balance if it weren't for the island counter she had to brace herself against.
"Alice!" her name gliding across his lips instinctively as he was quickly by her side, stabilizing her by her free arm to keep her from falling. His medically trained mind was racing with possibilities as he asked the question he doubted he would get an answer to. "Alice, are you alright?"
"I'm fine," came the expected response, as she tried to shake him off; but Leonard kept his iron-like grip on her. "Just a little dizzy."
Her eyes finally met his, and there was a brief flicker of worry resonating in the green of her chaos eyes. She might say she was fine, but it was obvious that she was just as concerned about her near fall as he was.
"Do you get dizzy often?"
There was a hesitation. "No."
"And you've been lethargic for the past couple of weeks now," he told her. "Don't think I haven't noticed."
Alice shook her head, trying to abate his concern. "Leonard—"
"Are you pregnant?"
Alice balked at the suggestion. "What? No!" She finally succeeded in pulling away from him. "This happens…" she added a flourish with her hand as she searched for the right word, "periodically."
"What does?" Alice tried to turn away from him, to walk away from his questions, but Leonard followed, putting himself in her path. "Alice, please." He reached out to steady her as he had before, but he made sure not to touch her, hoping that the nearness of his hand would be reassuring to her and show her how sincere he was. "I'm not asking so that I can hurt you with whatever it is you're not telling me. I'm worried about you. Especially since I imagine it takes a lot for you to get fatigued like this."
Alice couldn't keep his gaze, the chaos of her eyes losing as she looked to the side, her body turning to follow, but Leonard gently guided her back to him with a firm and tender hand. "Please. Let me help."
"Leon," she sighed deeply. "You can't help with this."
Leonard frowned. "Let me try."
"They're just nightmares," Alice finally relented, massaging the bridge of her nose. But the way she said it…there was clearly more to it than that. There was no way that simple nightmares could lead to her being so blatantly exhausted.
"How long have you been having them?"
"A couple of weeks now." Her voice was softened, defeated as if it was her fault that this was happening, that she was a weaker person because of it.
Leonard nodded faintly. "When was the last time you slept?" It was difficult for him to keep the doctor part of him out of his voice or his questions.
"Leonard…" Alice sighed, tossing her head lightly.
"I know you hate answering these kinds of questions, sweetheart," he coaxed her gently. "Believe me, I hate that I have to ask you them."
She must have heard only honesty in his voice, or saw it in his eyes because she nodded in understanding. "I can usually get about a half an hour in each night before I can't," she admitted. "The last time I got over a couple of hours of sleep was Sunday."
"Five days ago?"
"Yeah," Alice answered, biting her lip.
"Alice," Leonard breathed in disbelief. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"This isn't unusual for me," Alice shrugged. "Just inconvenient. Besides," she added, "Jim's already starting to make you look your age with how much you worry about him. I didn't want to add to it." The small smile she gave him didn't illuminate her features as it normally would have. She was just trying to brush the seriousness of the situation off.
There was a sharp twist of pain in his chest. "You're the only one I want to worry about, darlin'. And you should have told me. I can help—"
"No," Alice commanded forcefully, backing away from him. "It's already hounding my dreams. I don't need it here too."
Realization dawned on him. "Alice…"
"Memories make the best nightmares," she confirmed. "And I don't want to have to flash back to that while I'm awake. Not if I have to…"
"Ok," Leonard reassured her quietly. "Aright." He reached out to her, his heart growing a fraction lighter when she took his hand and allowed him to pull her into an embrace. He pressed his cheek against the top of her head, stroking her hair gently as he held her close, willing his heartbeat to be steady enough to calm her and ease her mind. To give her strength.
Leonard was soothing her much as you would a small child, but it didn't feel like that to him. Alice was a mighty castle, battle tested and would always continue to stand no matter what would come next. And there might be some cracks, but she was perfectly capable of patching them up herself. That didn't mean he couldn't help her, though, and he didn't think any less of her when he did.
"No hyposprays," he promised her, "but you need to sleep, sweetheart. Your body needs rest."
He felt her sigh into him. "I'm open to suggestions."
"I know it might not help with the nightmares, but there are sedatives that are ingestible," Leonard offered as an option. "No needles, and you get to sleep." He could feel her shuffle within his arms and loosened his hold on her, giving them enough space so that he could look at her.
"It might take a triple dose just to get it to even slightly affect me, though," she said, uncertain of the idea.
"I know that," Leonard breathed. "Which is why I would like for you to come to the hospital with me tomorrow. I should be able to come up with a proper combination of sedatives that would work."
Alice cocked her head to the side, her indecisiveness and mistrust creating that tiny frown as she considered her options. Leonard knew that it would be difficult for her, being in a hospital. They never talked about it, but the times she would meet him at the hospital, it was always apparent how uncomfortable she was by her skittish and anxious behavior she desperately tried to hide. But he hoped that she would let him help her
"You won't leave my side while we're there, will you?"
"No," Leonard smiled, pulling away slightly, and placing his hands on her arms, his fingers trailing delicately across her skin. "In fact, I won't leave your side starting now, if you'll have me."
Alice's smirk was true and playful. "Do you have to ask?"
"Well, you seemed pretty angry with me last night," he mused lightly.
"That's because you and Jim were being idiots."
"Still, I don't think I've seen you angry like that before." He was thankful for the change of pace, for the lighter conversation, the dissipation of the darker part of his concern.
"You still haven't," she teased him, pulling away and making her way towards the couch, the projection screen flickering to life with the quieted news. "That was more like annoyance fueled by sleep deprivation."
"Then I hope I never make you angry," he chuckled softly, settling beside her on the couch, draping his arm over her lazily.
"It would take a lot," Alice said. But there was something else behind her smile, something else was causing that spark of mischief in the gold of her eyes.
"What?" he asked, quirking an eyebrow.
"Your first guess at what was wrong was that I was pregnant?" The laughter in her voice was almost tangible and completely intoxicating.
Leonard rolled his eyes. "First thing you do when trying to diagnose a problem is rule out the most likely explanation." He dug his fingers into her ribs playfully. "I shouldn't have to remind you of what we do the most when we're behind closed doors."
Alice giggled, her body twisting to avoid his probing fingertips that aimed to tickle her. "And just how panicked were you?"
"I'm a doctor, sweetheart," Leonard said with a wink. "I don't panic."
"Oh, I'm sorry," she apologized sarcastically. "Of course you don't panic. What was I thinking? It's not like I've seen you shake yourself to near puddle at the thought of flying in any shape or form." And there was that damn smirk of hers that always made him smile.
"Steady under pressure, remember?" And at her raised eyebrow he added, "Normal pressure. There isn't anything normal about flying in space."
"Maybe it wasn't a couple of centuries ago, you old soul," Alice hummed quietly, her words causing him to scoff at her in jest. Her eyes searched his own for a moment before she continued. "What would you have done…if that had been the issue?" she asked shyly.
"Panic?" he offered in a breathy chuckle.
"I'm serious," she told him, and Leonard could practically hear the frown in her voice.
"That would depend entirely on what you would want to do," he answered truthfully.
"Hmm…" she mused. "You wouldn't bail on me?"
"As I already told you," Leonard said, drawing her in closer. "I won't leave your side for as long as you'll have me. Starting now."
~~.O.~~
So, I sincerely apologize for how long it has taken me to get this chapter to you guys (that's part of the reason that it's so long, as a reward for your patience with me). It's just that college and work and writing sometimes shove each other out of the spotlight.
Anyway, please tell me what you think! I love all of you guys and appreciate every single one of you that have made it this far. :)
Thank you for reading!
See you in the next chapter!