What's this, back to back uploads? If you think that's sweet, have I got a treat for you!
…
"I beng the apartament?"
Nick felt a tiny vice tighten around a pawful of his pantleg.
The little creature cleared its throat before beginning again.
"I beng the apartament!"
The fox looked down as he walked into town, only to find a rabbit toddling alongside him.
"You what the apartment?"
"He begs your pardon." Claire explained, quickening her pace as to catch up to the fox, his stride a little too quick for the children.
"Thanks for clarifying, Claire." He replied; and having thought about what he had just said, snorted a little. "What's up little guy?"
"Charlie coppering me." Edmund explained, wearing more indignation upon his face then Nick had previously thought possible.
"Am not!" the accused stated.
"Are too!" Joey chimed in.
Edmund nodded vigorously, which Charlie copied in turn, nodding just as the little one had in an attempt to rile him up.
And it worked.
And voices rose.
And for the fifth time since they had left the Hopps household, the children looked to be close to blows.
If this was what having siblings was all about, he was glad he absorbed his twin in the womb.
He didn't really do such a thing, but he enjoys watching the reactions he gets from other mammals when he tells them he did. It just seems like the type of thing he would do.
"Stop." He said as Charlie pushed Joey to the ground.
"Don't." He begged half-heartedly as Edmund charged the chubbier rabbit headfirst.
"Knock it off?" He asked with an eye-roll as the two rolled around in the dusty path right outside the gates of the town; luckily outside the eyesight of any belligerent bunnies, many of whom wouldn't take too kindly to the sight of a fox carting around four well-behaved rabbit kits, let alone four who seem to be making it their personal goals to maim one another.
It's in times like these that he has to take a step back and wonder just how it was that his ancestors went about eating these rambunctious creatures. With as much spunk and vitriol each of them seems to possess, you'd think a fox would get heart burn or something, wouldn't you?
"Hey, chill out or we're going home."
Four pairs of eyes immediately locked onto the fox, each almost glossy and already on the verge of tears. The paw Edmund had raised in the air to administer the brutal coup de grace to his older brother slowly fell to his side in resignation.
"Hey, I…" Nick stammered, unsure of what to say to quell the oncoming storm.
"You don't mean it, do you?" Joey asked, climbing off Charlie's chest.
"We'll be good, honest…" Charlie said, sitting up in the dirt.
"I- Well…"
"Please Mister Nick?" Claire pleaded, her voice sweet and clear despite the fact that her pained face gave away the fact that she was moments away from crying.
"Don't cry or then we'll really go home!" the fox choked out.
And so the waterworks began.
Fuck!
Not an ant, nor cricket or katydid standing below their feet was spared by the damning flood that swiftly poured forth from the rabbit kit's eyes. Hell was raised, nations burned and all hope seemed to die in that very moment, metaphorically of course.
"Geez I… I didn't mean it. We'll- Uh, we can…"
Why are they even crying? If anyone should be crying in this situation, its him! He wasn't certain, but he was pretty sure it was him their sister hung out to dry. In fact, if they don't pipe down he may very well join them. What else is there to do in a time such as this one?
"Ok! Fine! We're fine!" he stated, raising his paws defensively. "We'll stay out, just… calm down, ok?"
As quickly as they started the waterworks shut off.
Phew!
Hope burned bright again, nations rebuilt and Hell was sealed away once more. The ants and other insects rejoiced the passing of the flood. Perhaps a rainbow would reveal itself to them as a promise that such a storm will never strike them again. Or at least not for the next hour or so.
Charlie got up from the ground and shoved Edmund violently back, scowling at Joey as he did so. Claire wrapped her arms around herself tighter than before. All was right in the world.
For the next hour or so.
…
An hour or so passed.
To the fox's relief, however, the kits were preoccupied taking in the scenery of the town, so much so that they seem to have developed a truce in favor of sightseeing.
Joey crinkled his nose as they passed by the first costume shop, breathing in the unfamiliar scent of the heavy water vapor emitting from the novelty fog machine the owner had just set up outside the door.
"How-" the rabbit began.
"Woah!" Edmund explained, breaking his brothers train of thought, "Howdo so much frog?"
Nick looked to his left, and then to his right, spinning around till his eyes finally landed on the little sister of the group. He raised an eyebrow at her, to which she nodded knowingly.
"He wants to know how come there is so much fog."
Nick swiveled on his heels in an attempt to find the littlest rabbit again, which was no easy task seeing as he had moved from where he last was, deciding the fog required closer inspection.
"Edmund." He called out. "Don't go so far ahead of me."
The bunny kit plodded on his floppy feet back over to the rest of the group, looking up at the tod expectantly.
"So why is there fog?" Joey asked.
"You guys have never seen a fog machine?"
The siblings exchanged glances. Charlie looked back at the fox and shrugged.
"Don't get out much, do you?" Nick inquired.
"We have to take turns going out. Mama and Papa say that too many of us are a pawful." Claire explained, pinching at the sleeve of her onesie.
Well, now he feels like a dick for even suggesting he would take them home.
"So?" Charlie interrupted his self-deprecating musing.
"So what?"
"So what's with all the fog!?" the bruiser cried.
"Uh…" the fox took a moment to answer, looking over at the machine emanating the fine mist. "There is a machine, and it… makes fog?"
Seemed like a fairly obvious explanation to him.
The children, however, were taken aback. Their round little eyes grew ten sizes – or something like that – and not a single one of them could decide whether they should be staring at the mysterious fog machine, capable of some bizarre magic, or the fox that stood before them; the mammal with all the answers.
"You sure know a lot about things, Mister Nick!" Claire cried.
Nick stood dumbstruck by the compliment. Maybe children aren't all bad.
Joey looked up at him and nodded, equally astonished.
"Yeah, I suppose I do know a lot, don't I?" he said.
The bunnies around him, cute – and perceptive – things they are, hopped up and down excitedly; just as bunnies are prone to do.
"Well crew, what say you? Shall we go inside?"
The hopping stopped.
"In there?" Claire asked.
"Yeah, of course! That's where we are going to get your costumes, isn't it?"
The siblings huddled together and whispered amongst themselves, eventually breaking apart so that they could present to their vulpine guardian just why it is that going inside such a store would be a terrible idea.
"But… the fog…" Charlie whimpered.
"What about it?"
"There's too much." Joey explained, rubbing his arm bashfully.
"Scawy!" Edmund chimed in.
You have got to be kidding me.
"It's just water, watch." He said, taking a step through the wall of mist and into the store.
A gasp fell over the group.
Seconds passed, should they hold a funeral? Claire could write the eulogy-
Nick emerged from the wall once more, victoriously defeating the terrifying blanket of white cloudy stuff.
And the crowd roared their admiration!
"Now you try." Nick said, looking at Joey.
The kit took a few cautious steps towards the doorway, gingerly waving his paw in the mist.
No.
He stepped back, clinging to the fox's side.
Nick ran a paw down his face.
"Ok, let's just try someplace else."
…
As they walked down town side the rabbits paused in front of every store to admire the decorations, going on to cite said decorations as the reason they couldn't possibly go inside. Spooky masks adorned the walls of the small town shops, and while they made for great viewing at a distance, the little bunnies decided that they would surely be consumed on the spot should they get too close. The Jack-O-Lanterns set up outside one quaint little costume boutique were equally cool, but the sharp teeth they had carved out seemed alien to rabbits who spent every Halloween watching their Ma and Pa carve carrots, blueberries and cute little rabbit faces into their pumpkins.
Maybe it was time for a break.
"You guys hungry?"
…
"Wanna cart fwi!" Edmund exclaimed.
"That's carrot fries." Claire explained.
"What do you say?" Joey admonished the tyke.
"Wanna cart fwi pwease!" He responded, throwing his head forward as he enunciated the 'pwease'.
The menu was a bunch of vegatable junk, which is understandable, seeing as this is bunny burrow. Still, the food stand beats the hell out of most of the produce carts strewn about the bustling bunny marketplace. It would be nice if they sold a meal that wasn't so veggie-heavy, but it will have to do.
"wanna letsa-burr too." Edmund piped up again.
Nick scanned the menu once, twice and a third time.
Nope.
"Sorry kid, doesn't look like they've got any letsa-burrs round these parts."
The tyke's eyes drooped incredulously.
"A letserner?" He insisted, hopping up and down in frustration.
"He wants a lettuce burger." Claire explained, quiet and polite.
"Oh, well you're in luck then." The vulpine breathed out between a smile, patting the kits head, causing his ears to flop around a bit.
"Can I have a celery dog?" Joey asked, a paw raised.
"Can I have a celery dog?" Charlie mimicked, doing the worst impression of his brother he could manage.
.
.
.
"I'm serious, can I?"
Nick rolled his eyes before nodding with a grin; only then turning his attention over to the sister amongst them.
"And what can I get for you darlin?" he asked her.
"Can I have a salad?" she asked.
Boring, but inexpensive; he wasn't going to argue with her. He approached the stand.
"Alright, I think I've got our orders 'in order', right guys?" the fox said to the stand owner, sparing a glance down at the rabbits huddled together at his feet.
The rabbit running the spot looked at the fox and then at the rabbits surrounding him. Suspicion laced his eyes, but he didn't say anything.
"What can I get you then?" he asked.
"Let's see, a number one with a side of carrot fries, two number fours, a number five and..." his eyes scanned the menu again, unsure of what to get for himself. "I think I'll try a number nine, the apple fritter?"
The stand owner nodded in silence as he scribbled the order down onto a notepad. His gaze darted between the fox and the bunnies as he loaded up the tray with their meals.
"I've got to ask, are these your kits sir?" the server asked.
"Of course, birthed 'em myself." Nick explained, taking the tray from the rabbit's paws.
"Come along kids, let's find a place to sit down and relax."
The rabbits followed him like a chick would follow a mother hen, shuffling along the dirt path in a single file line, impressively uniform when one takes into account the absolute shit show the earlier events of the day had turned out to be. Eventually, they came to a full stop in front in front of a nearby bench.
"Carrot fries, and a lettuce burger…" he said, handing Edmund his food.
"Two celery dogs, one for each of you…" he counted off, handing the faux-food to a smiling Charlie and Joey.
"And last but certainly not least: a salad." he said with a bow, handing the vegetable platter to Claire.
"Bon appétit!"
…
Things were quiet, and it was nice. For once. Everyone ate their meals and not a single course word was shared amongst the four of them. It was a picturesque moment, a fox eating with four little bunnies. Nothing could ruin this.
"So," Joey said, munching on a piece of celery, "are you and Judy boyfriend and girlfriend?"
I take that back.
Recovering from almost choking on his fritter, Nick took a moment to search for the right words.
"No."
Yeah, that was the right word. Simple and to the point, if not a little too obvious. Happy to have averted that crisis, Nick took up another fritter and prepared to continue his meal.
"That's weird, Judy seems to think you are." Charlie explained.
"She what?" the fox barked, dropping the treat back onto his plate.
"She treats you like Ma treats Pa," Joey picked up, "You guys are always teasing each other. Bunnies don't just tease bunnies like that unless they're family or mates. That's just the way it goes." He continued, speaking as if what he had just said was a common fact of life.
"Well, I ain't no bunny…"
"That's for sure…" Claire chimed in.
"What's that supposed to mean!?" Nick exclaimed.
"But why does she stare at him like that when he isn't looking then?" Charlie asked, raising a question which was apparently on the rest of their minds.
"She does what!?"
"Bug sis Judy lub bug fuch, duh!" Edmund explained, hammering a tiny fist into his other paw for emphasis.
"Huh? Can somebody explain to me what's going on!?" the tod cried.
"Yeah, I think we can all agree on that, but he says they aren't in love." Claire reasoned, her paw holding her chin up thoughtfully.
"So she likes him but he doesn't like her back?" Charlie asked, worried.
"It's not like that…" Nick tried to explain.
"Mister Nick, you aren't going to break our sis' heart, are you?" Joey questioned, turning to face the fox again.
"I-"
Their eyes settled on him, again, and he stared back unable to find the right words to say to them, again.
"Look kids, I'm glad you want the best for your sister, I do too, but we're just good friends." He explained, "That is a funny thought though, a rabbit like her falling for a fox like me…"
They continued to stare into his soul.
"Just a funny thought though; nothing more, nothing less, alright?"
…
"So, a fox huh?" Trisha asked as she stretched her arms out wide in attempt at attaching the orange and yellow lights to the awning of the deck.
"Huh?" Judy replied, helping hang the other end. "Who, Nick? Yeah, that is indeed what he is, a fox."
Her sister laughed aloud, nearly falling off the chair she was standing on.
"Yeah, that he is" she replied. "Didn't think you'd be that type of gal, but I don't judge."
Judy's share of the chord of lightbulbs dropped to the floor, thankfully avoiding any shattering.
"Type of gal?" Judy asked, earning further giggling from her sister as she crouched to pick the chord back up.
"Don't worry Jay, Maddie used to chase the preds around all the time back when she was a young doe too, so it's not unheard of."
"Trish, I think there has been a terrible misunderstanding."
Her sister hopped off the chair with another chortle, as at this rate she was sure to tip over from laughing too hard.
"Are you kidding, with the way you toured him around the house… Why, I'm surprised you didn't ask him to move back home with you!"
"I was being friendly! He's helping me out, the least I could do was bring him inside."
"I smell it all over you Jude, you ain't fooling me, and you ain't fooling the rest of us." The doe said. "I'll be right back, need more lights. Say, do you think we've got any Jack-o-Lanterns carved yet?" she continued, picking up a box to carry back into the house.
"Really Trish, it's not what you think!"
"Spare me, Jude the dude."
…
"Alright guys, here's the plan." The fox said, kneeling in front of his posse of bunnies outside the latest store they've passed by. "You're going to need to trust me on this one."
The four siblings exchanged cautious glances before returning their collective gaze onto the fox, each of them replying with a stern nod.
"You all are going to close your eyes and take my paw. From there, I'll lead us through the doors and into the shop. That way, you'll be in before you know it!" Nick explained. "Then you'll see that there's nothing to be afraid of."
Edmund swallowed hard, Joey seemed to be sweating.
"So, what say you? Are you ready to undergo this heroic mission?" the vulpine asked, holding his paw out to them.
.
.
.
One by one, the rabbits took his paw and placed their trust in it. Closing their eyes, they followed him to what may very well be their doom.
"Alright, you can open 'em."
The shop smelled like an old book and a thin layer of dust coated most of the shelves. The ceiling fan creaked as it made its slow rotations. A single fly buzzed incessantly around the lamp set on the table by the cashier.
"Why is it so…" Joey started.
"Crappy?" Charlie finished.
"Charlie! That's a bad word!" Claire gasped.
"There's no pleasing you kits, you know that?" the fox explained.
Walking a little further into the shop, he decided to have a look around.
Nobody was here aside from a gaunt, sharply dressed mother rabbit stood in the middle of the children's aisle, picking through the various Halloween costumes.
"Well, go ahead and take a look around"
The bunnies dispersed amidst the aisles, looking through the displays with "Ooos" and "Ahs", occasionally resorting to the rarely used "Oh, wow!".
The children momentarily occupied, Nick decided to browse. There were plenty of adult sized costumes left, but they were all fitted to rabbit proportions. On the cardboard display for a vampire costume stood a rabbit in full "Ratula" garb, straight out of Ram Stoker's classic monster novel. He looked remarkably similar to Judy's father. Maybe he was a costume model on the side when he wasn't farming?
Turning the corner, he found the prop aisle. Plastic tombstones reading: "RIP" were haphazardly tossed onto the shelves. Signs reading "Trespassers beware!" spilled out onto the floor beneath his feat. A display case bore a tiny red button on the front with text reading "Push me if you dare", and if you dared, a pale reptilian hand would pop out of the case on display and touch your paw.
Creepy.
Reptiles always squicked the fox out, and he would often go to bed at night thanking his lucky stars that they didn't actually exist.
One item in particular caught his eye, however, and not for reasons one might expect. The prop was a fox skull, typical in bunny burrow. That wasn't what attracted his attention. The stand on which the skull sat bore a red button of its own, the text above it reading: "Skull of the Love Doctor! Press to have your love fortune read!"
Stupid.
His eyes darted left then right before he pressed the crimson button.
Nothing interesting happened.
Figures.
"I found it! Mister Nick, I found it!"
Nick quickly took a step away from the skull, the sound of Charlie's voice nearly giving him heart palpitations. He divided his attention back to the reptile hand.
"I found it!" the bruiser repeated.
"Oh?" Nick said, turning to see just what it was that he found. "Oh?"
In his hot little paws, he clutched his costume proudly, holding it up with a smile beaming on his face.
A teacher's uniform?
"You sure this is… what you want?" Nick questioned.
"Yeah! I always wanted to be a teacher! I thought I should at least get in some practice as one. Do you think that's a bad idea?" he asked, his smile waning.
"No, that's a great Idea!"
Teacher huh? Never would have guessed it.
"Ok, so where do I put it?" the bun asked.
"Just hold onto it for now." The tod replied, turning back around.
The chubby bunny approached him tentatively; and shrugging his shoulders, hung it around the fox's tail. Yeah, that looks like a good spot for that.
"Fuch!" Edmunds voice cried out from across the store.
"Fuch!"
"Coming, I'm coming!" Nick called out, making his way over to the source of the cry.
"Hank you." Edmund said, pointing at the super bunny costume.
"You want this one?" Nick asked, pointing at the last one on the rack.
"Ye, hank you."
The fashionable rabbit from before began strolling down their aisle.
"You know, we usually say 'thank you' after I do something for you, not before." Nick explained to the tyke.
"He doesn't get that yet. He just knows that thank you gets said at some point and he gets what he wants." Claire explained, paws on her hips.
"Excuse me" the stylish mother said, pushing her way between the group to get to the super bunny costume. Without hesitation, she plucked it off the rack and began making her way down the aisle, leaving the jaws of the fox, and each and every one of the bunny kits, dropped in her wake.
Edmund looked up at the fox, his mouth still gaping out of shock.
"Uh, hold on." Nick said, jogging to catch up to the lady rabbit.
…
"Why, hello Ma'am!" he greeted with a wave so wide he showed off his arm pit, his smile gleaming despite the poor lighting inside the dusty old store.
She looked him over from head to toe and then toe to head twice.
"What do you want?" she asked with a scowl.
"I just couldn't let you walk away without complimenting you on how well dressed you are." He explained as he gestured towards the assorted jewelry that bedazzled her outfit.
Her smug scowl was replaced by an even smugger grin.
"Yes, well I do-"
"If only you had the fashion sense to match it!" he continued.
"I what!?"
"Well, look! Here you are with that silly super bunny costume. Sure, those rags might make a good costume for the child of some commoner such as myself," he gestured inward at himself, "but I would expect someone as chic as you to dress their kids a bit better." He reasoned.
"I, well… I was planning on donating it! Yes, that is just what I do, I make donations, but now that you mention it, perhaps I shouldn't be buying such things. The children deserve so much better, poor or not" she said, tossing the costume on the floor before walking away in a hurry.
Nick picked the "rags" up off the floor and gave them a gentle pat down in an effort to knock the dust away.
O mother rabbit, you do indeed have impeccable fashion sense, it's such a shame to see you've got no brains to accompany it!
…
"One super bunny costume." Nick said, bowing to Edmund as he handed it over. "Don't drop it!" he cautioned with a sly wink before turning around to take a look at the props again.
Edmund looked around for somewhere to put the costume, anywhere that didn't require him to hold it. Charlie pointed at the teachers costume currently hung around the fox's tail. Why hadn't he thought of that before?
"Hey!" Nick said, spinning around to catch the little devil in the act. "What do you think you're doing? Just hold the damn thing!"
"Don't say the D word!" Claire shouted.
"The darn thing!"
He caught the oldest of the kits, Joey, out of the corner of his eye.
"Hold these!" Nick whispered, venom lacing his voice as he handed the costumes back to Charlie and Edmund.
That being settled, he gingerly walked over to meet Joey. The kit stared wide eyed at a police costume, made for a rabbit his exact size.
Well shoot, you'd never see that in a bunny costume shop a few years ago.
"Well look at you bud, aspiring to be just like your big sis?" Nick asked, a gentle smile sat smug on his mug.
Joey turned to face him slowly.
"N- No," he explained bashfully, "I wanna be like you, Mister Nick."
Woah there.
"Like who?" the fox asked.
"You."
"Me?" he asked again, just for clarification
"Yes, you." The softie assured him.
"Sorry…" Nick started. "Can you say that one more time?"
"I wanna be like you." Joey said, confirming his suspicion.
"You wanna be like me!" the fox said, trying to resist the urge to hop up and down.
"I wanna be like you!" the kit said, riding off the adult's obvious excitement.
"Ok, ok, ok…" Nick said, plucking the uniform off the rack and placing it in Joey's paws. "That leaves…"
He spun around on his heels again, trying to locate the last member of the posse.
"You!" he said, pointing at Claire. "Got any ideas, sweet heart?"
"I hate everything here."
The fox's ears flattened against his skull.
"Gee, hate is a really strong word, don't you think?"
"Sorry…" she mumbled. "They just don't have what I want."
"Well, what do you want?" he asked. "We've got fairies, princesses, fairy princesses-"
"I wanna be a race car."
"You want to be a what?"
"A race car." She stated again, plain and simple.
He slowly brought his paws to his face, wiping them down his long muzzle. Half way between his eyes and his nose, he began giggling profusely.
"Well, why didn't you just say so? I think I have an idea, but we'll have to go home first."
Oh shit, what did he just do?
He watched as they huddled together to discuss something, waiting for the impending shit storm to strike again. How could he have been so foolish? The poor things hardly ever get out, who is he to cut their time short? He'll have to make it up to them someho-
"Yeah, let's go home." Claire stated.
"Yeah." Joey agreed.
"I'm tired…" Charlie announced.
"Am hungy!" Edmund added.
"We just ate!" the three others replied in unison.
Huh
This was really easy. Who ever said Nicholas Wilde wouldn't be any good with kits? Spend a few hours with em, you've spent a year with em. He would make a damn good father.
…
Ah, gotta rush these things out in time for Halloween! Excuse me as I scream into my pillow because I have so many things to do. Who assigns this much work right before the spookiest season of them all?
Thanks for the read. Leave a review/comment if you feel up to it, every single one means the world to me.
I'm serious, reader interaction has quickly become my only sustenance.
Till next time, goodbye my friends!