AN: The song for this chapter is "I Won't Give Up" by Jason Mraz. Listen while you read!

Chapter 3: I Won't Give Up

/When I look into your eyes
It's like watching the night sky
Or a beautiful sunrise/

Jake woke up with a song in his head. Jason Mraz. "I Won't Give Up". Crap.

Worse was that the song was accompanied by a dream. A dream about Amy. They happened frequently since they had met. The dreams weren't anything too concerning. Sometimes they would be fighting, sometimes laughing, and on one occasion, kissing, but nothing crazy. This dream was different though. It was heavy, full of some meaning Jake couldn't discern. He remembered it with precise detail.

He was in a hall way with lush red carpet and expensive art lining the walls. He'd never been in such a fancy place in his life. He looked down at himself and realized he was wearing a sick three-piece suit that seemed old as frick. He felt different. Like he wasn't himself, but he was.

He walked down the hall and heard music. He followed it and felt a familiar pull guide him. This "pull" led him to the second story of huge, expensive ballroom filled with people. Classical music, lots of violin, wafted in the air. Jake approached a banister to get a closer look. He placed his palms on the banister, which felt as expensive as it looked, and looked down at the party below him. It wasn't the kind of party he was used to, that was for sure. He felt like he had been transported to the inside of a history book. Women were wearing long, thick gowns, while the men were wearing vests and jackets with tales. They danced in unison as if it had all been choreographed.

The room itself was magnificent. There were huge windows that led out to inky-black night and chandeliers that glistened like diamonds. He felt so out of place. This was the most magnificent thing he had ever seen and it seemed too grand for the likes of him. Still, he let himself indulge in the experience.

A man approached him and gave him a firm pat on the back.

"Strapping young men ought to be dancing when there are so many ladies in want of a partner" the man said, his accent British. Jake felt his lips turn up in a smile.

"Of course, uncle" Jake said in a voice that wasn't his own. He looked down at the scene once more, his hands still clutching the banister, and then, he saw her.

A woman who seemed to glow, making the rest of the room dull and colorless. He stared and as if by fate, she raised her head to meet his eyes. Jake felt his breath catch in his throat. She was stunning. She was Amy.

…But she looked nothing like Amy. This woman had dark hair that curled in ringlets near her temples and light eyes that shined, but Jake was absolutely certain she was Amy. Jake began to move slowly down the staircase towards her, never breaking eye contact. The woman who was Amy looked at him like his existence was impossible and stayed still as a statue. She let him come closer and closer. A soft smirk appeared on Jake's face. A strong desire to dance with her came over him. He just wanted to hold her hand and confirm what he already knew. He neared her and she offered his hand. He was just about to cease it when…

/Well, I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough/

Jason Mraz. For whatever reason, he had woken up from his epic dream and a Jason Mraz song was his parting gift. Jake sat up from his bed and wiped sleep from his eyes. He quickly grabbed a pen and paper to scribble the dream down before he forgot it. This was normally something he would never do, but he felt like he needed to do this. After writing out the basics, Jake got up and sat down in front of his computer. He put on "I Won't Give Up" because "dammit, it's still in my head" and pulled up Google:

"Connection between Soulmates and dreams"

His search brought up hundreds of articles. He clicked the first link he saw:

Recent research suggests that over 70% of the population experience what experts call "past life memories" in their dreams. Research also suggests that nine out of ten of these "past life memories" have something to do with their Soulmates. One scientist even theorizes this is a way the soul can give its "host" clues on how to find its mate.

"You see, two souls that are paired have one objective, and that is to find its mate. The soul helps us find them in as many ways as it can. Sometimes it's a very physical reaction, very common, where just the slightest contact sets off, what I like to call the 'molecular reaction', and then other times, it's cerebral. That's what's happening with these dreams. We're seeing the soul tap into brain function when our conscious is taking a break. Our souls have a much easier time taking advantage of the sub-conscious, so they show us memories of past lives in our dreams. Our souls are sending us hints. They're giving us a picture of who are Soulmates were before so we can recognize them in this life" said Dr. Eismen, a leading researcher on Animology (The study of the Soul, not to be confused with Zoology, the study of animals) at Princeton University.

"Crap" Jake thought. He shouldn't be having "memory" dreams about a girl who already had her Soulmate. He went back to his Google search and tried another link.

What were some common traits of "past life memories"?

"That's a wonderful question, I'm glad you asked. What we're finding in case studies and data analysis is that these dreams are vivid. You really feel like you're there. You can feel, you can smell, you can hear, you see everything with clarity, and your body doesn't feel useless, which is very common in non-recall dreams. Normally, if you try to write or run or anything that requires motor skills, you just can't do it, but in these dreams you can. Another really interesting trait we're finding is that most people experience soul-recognition in their dreams. Now, soul-recognition is when you see a person and you identify them as someone you know, but they do not have the same appearance as they do in your waking life. They're a different person and yet, they are the person you know. If you're experiencing this, what's happening is you are seeing your Soulmate's past life. You are seeing the host they inhabited before they came upon the body you know now. It's fascinating. I had one man who had a dream where he met this huge, beefy wrestler and he instantly knew it was his new co-worker, Lisa. That's how they found out they were Soulmates. Soul-recognition dreams are especially common in people who don't experience that all-knowing big bang feeling upon first touch."

So this mechanism is another way souls call out to each other?

"Yes, exactly. I have met many couples who said they both had "past life memory" dreams on the same night. Those are souls that desperately want to be together. It's the first rule of Animology: paired souls will not cease motion until collision. It's as tried and true as Newton's first law. Your Soulmate will catch up with you."

- Dr. Heshermen, Brown University, Head of Animology

"Crap, crap crap" Jake thought. It was getting harder to deny the evidence before him. Maybe Amy really was his Basherte. He dreamed of her.

"She's met her Soulmate, though" he thought, a lump forming in his throat. Why was he having "past life memories" of a girl who had already met her Soulmate? More worrying, why did he think his Basherte was someone who had never heard of the band Jimmy Eat World before? Still, his mind would constantly go back to her. Before sleep he would see the face she makes when she's working, something she always did with precision and care. A vision of her laughing haunted him most often. He had made her laugh a few times and when she did, his mind could recall every detail, like the way her eyes sparkled and how pleasant her laughter sounded. It was a sight that crept up on him during the most mundane of times. It would happen at breakfast when he was eating toast, or when he stopped paying attention to a lecture, or when he was walking back to his dorm. It was impossible to escape.

It wasn't just visions though. Just her presence was hypnotizing and being around her was so easy. He didn't like her much at first, but now it was like they've known each other for years. He thought about the last time they worked together.

Jake stood at the cashier's desk, waiting for his first break, when she came in. Her lips were scrunched up in a face that Jake came to recognize as her "annoyed face". When she saw Jake her face only scrunched up more and she came towards him. Jake grinned.

"Oh, ho ho ho! Someone came in grumpy! That must mean my happy mix worked. Ironic as that may seem" Jake said.

"Alright, fine. I admit it, your mix put me in a good move. That bunnies and sweater song? That was basically cheating" Amy said, her face falling.

"Ingrid Michaelson: my secret weapon"

"Well, it doesn't matter. There's no way your next mix is going to make me sad and there's a negative ten percent chance the last one will 'turn me on'" Amy said.

"Oh, we'll see about that. My next mix is gonna make you so sad I'll have to talk you down from jumping off a tall building and y'know how I'm gonna do that?"

"Hmm?"

"I'll play you my sexy mix and it'll be so sexy that you come down from the ledge due to an intense need for my hot bod" Jake said. Amy promptly gave him a look of disgust.

"You wish"

"No, I know" Jake joked and she laughed. It was just a small chuckle, but it made Jake pause. The smile wiped from his face and he felt a familiar tension in his chest.

"What's wrong?" Amy asked, concerned and his chest got tighter.

"No, nothing. Just figuring how I'm going to keep you off me when I play you the sexy mix"

Amy rolled her eyes and headed to her locker.

Interactions like that were pretty common. Jake would just tease the idea of them having a romantic relationship and Amy would play along, but shut it down regardless. In the end, he always felt terrible, but he kept doing it anyway. There was always a question hanging above them, but neither seemed braved enough to ask it.

After Jake's dream and his subsequent research, Jake decided they needed to talk. He at least needed to know if she had the same dream. If she did, then they really needed to have a conversation.

…Because if Jake was being honest, he didn't believe Amy and Teddy were Soulmates at all.

/We've got a lot to learn
God knows we're worth it
No, I won't give up/

The next morning Jake came into work nervous which, at this point, was standard. He had spent hours the day before working on the sad mix and also figuring out how he could bring up the dream without making himself sound like a creep who had weird dreams about co-workers.

He put his stuff away in his locker and asked Rosa where she needed him today.

"Help Amy put stuff in the racks" Rosa said, nodding to Amy's location. Jake obliged and started playing with the ends of his shirt.

"Hey Jake" Amy greeted as he approached her.

"Hey Ames" Jake said, using a nickname he'd never used before, but rolled off his tongue like he always had. He picked up a stack of records and began helping her put them away.

They worked in silence, but Jake always got the sense that they were both just about to say something. After several minutes of this, Jake felt the need to bring up the topic of dreams.

"So, have any weird dreams lately?" Jake asked, trying his best to sound casual, but just coming off as blunt. Amy shook her head.

"Nope, I normally don't remember my dreams. You?" she said easily and Jake felt betrayed. His heart broke as if it had. He had no idea it would hurt as bad as it did, but he did his best to look unaffected.

"Naw, just curious. Hey, I brought the second mix" Jake said, changing the subject as rapidly as he could.

"Oh, did you?"

"Yup, it's super depressing. Before listening to it I would advise having a lot of water and tissues on hand, because you don't want to get dehydrated from all the crying you'll be doing and also tissues so you can mop up all of the tears. You could slip and hurt yourself. You know from all of the tear-water coming from your eyes. 'Cuz it's so sad" Jake said, earning him a glare.

"Thank you for your concern" Amy said.

"Any time"

During their lunch hour, Jake went to grab his mix and lunch (a Snickers bar) from his locker. He found Amy sitting at the cheap table in the break room eating a sandwich. He handed her the mix.

"Oh, thanks" she said. Looking over the track list.

"Sure"

"You wrote little notes"

"Yeah, giving you some background" Jake said as he looked over what he had written:

SUPER DUPER SAD MIX

Cigarette Lighter Love Song [Live at Variety Theatre in Atlanta] – Butch Walker (Live version is WAY sadder)

Someone Like You – Adele (Classic)

Miserable at Best – Mayday Parade (Title says it all: MISERABLE You, after hearing this mix)

Hammers and Strings [A Lullaby] – Jack's Mannequin (About mental illness SUPER SAD!)

Fix You – Coldplay (About Gwyneth Paltrow's dead dad, really sad)

Round Here – Counting Crows (Not exactly sure what this song is about, but it's still VERY SAD)

Last Request – Paolo Nutini (Paolo wants to boink for the last time because they're breaking up)

Say it to Me Now – Glen Hansard (Watched a really boring movie and this song was in it. It was sad.)

Alone Again [Naturally] – Gilbert O'Sullivan (Oh boy, this song has it all: this dude was left at the alter, both of his parents died, and now he's doubting God's existence... THE TOTAL SAD PACKAGE)

Almost Lover – A Fine Frenzy (Broken hearts and SADNESS)

Brothers on a Hotel Bed – Death Cab for Cutie (Beautiful melodies, imagery rich lyrics, and a BUTT LOAD OF SAD)

Gravity – Sara Bareilles (She hits a note so high that only dogs and people in utter despair can hear it. That's why I saved it for last. So you can hear that note)

"So this mix is sad, huh?" Amy asked.

"Eh, a little" Jake said and they laughed.

Their laughter was disturbed when Rosa came in with something in her hand.

"Hey. Sunny Harbor gave me a bunch of free tickets to their Battle of the Bands thing. You can have some if you want" She said, throwing them on the table Amy was at.

"Thanks, Boss!" Jake called out, but Rosa had already left. Jake picked up one of the tickets and looked at it.

"Hey, it's tomorrow night, wanna go?" Jake asked, without thinking.

"Sure" Amy said easily.

"Cool, I'm gonna go to the uh, the thing, the wiz palace!" Jake said and he shot out of the room like a bullet.

"Oh, crap! I think I just asked her on a date. Stupid!" Jake thought as he stormed to the bathroom. He barged in and leaned against the cool, tiled wall.

"But she said 'yes'" said the optimist in his mind and Jake's heart felt light. She had. She had said yes. Jake smiled.

Maybe he didn't have to give up just yet.

/I'm still looking up, I'm still looking up/

AN: Yay! I had so much fun writing this chapter! It's kind of weird, but I like weird. I hope you like it too.

So the formatting looked really nice in word, but ao3 always messes it up so...sorry :(

So all the songs on the Sad Mix are on Spotify, except Cigarette Light Love Long. You have to go to Youtube and find the Atlanta one! It's great.

I'm always a slut for Jane Austen England.

Thanks so much for your support and comments! They seriously make my day, so thank you!